字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 -Hey guys. So recently, I've been noticing another trend. A lot of people have been posting videos titled, [bleep] Woman Say or [bleep] Men Say, and I am sick and tired of seeing these types of videos and I'm sure you are too by now. That's why I made a whole bunch more. Take a look. -That's a-- that's a-- that's a--oh, my... -What the hell? Can you hear me? Mom! -Come on! -Bring me a Hot Pocket, the--the pizza. -Back out, back out! -Stupid campers, man. -Back in, back in! -I'm on your team! -Okay, who flashed me? -Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod-- Oh, my God-- Yeah, oh, my God! -And this mother[bleep] was like, "[bleep] you." This mother[bleep] was a [indistinct] and so I was like... "Oh, you from that gang? 'Cause this mother[bleep] got a snake tattoo." Like, oh [bleep] was gon' happen. "I don't give a [bleep] if you a teacher. You still gon' get it mother[bleep]" [speaking indistinctly, multiple bleeps] ...happy? That's when I realized, Snape a good dude. He was looking out for Harry Potter the whole time. -That's what's up, Hogwarts for life! -Ow! [printer whirs, shredder whirs] [hing creaks, water hisses] [microwave beeps, lamp clicks on] [dryer whirs] -I'm a banana. -[cutesy voice]: Hey there, wittle poopsy-woopsy doopsy-woopsy-doopsy-coopsy-boopsy-woospy! -What the fu-- -I walk into my cat and trip over my dog, kiss a princess and turn into a frog. The sunlight! [hisses] -It's bright. [hisses weakly] Don't you cut me o-- -Dook! -Hey, is that you mowing your lawn at 9 in the morning? Good idea. -Babe, I love talking to you on the phone for hours, especially when there's silent pauses. -Who's Justin Bieber? -I love dieting. -Oh, my God, yes, I love traffic. -Oh, my God, yes, traffic. Uh, BlackBerrys can do way more than iPhones. -God, I love waiting for the bus. -Another red light. Love it! [construction sounds] -Don't you love construction in the morning? -Oh, I can talk. -Twilight movies? Way better than the books. No, take your time crossing the street; it's cool. I'm so happy unicorns don't exist. -'Kay, babe. I'll see you later tonight. -Who's that? -It's my mom. -Does someone have a flat tire? I love when the toilet seat is cold in the morning. -Non-alcoholic beer? Genius. -Kidz Bop? Genius. -T-Pain sounds way better without Auto-Tune. -Oh, Siri, you're always right. -I'm so mad the SOPA bill didn't get passed. -You know where I really want to go this summer? -Where? -South Dakota. -You know where I really want to go this summer? -Where? -The DMV. -You know where I really want to go this summer? -Where? -The hood. -I think Jersey Shore is educational. -You know who's better than Kobe Bryant? -Who? -Luke Walton. -I love cleaning! LeBron James? Clutch. -Teehee!