WHAT A LOVELY AUDIENCE.

SUCH A FANTASTIC AUDIENCE.

I WOULD LIKE TO SMOTHER YOU ALL IN A LEMON BUTTER WINE SAUCE.

I JUST MADE THAT UP.

I JUST TOTALLY MADE UP THAT RECIPE.

LAUGH WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW."

I'M STEPHEN COLBERT.

YOU'RE ALL LOOKING VERY FRIDAY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING

HERE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THE THING IS, WE ACTUALLY TAPE

THIS THURSDAY NIGHT, AND AS WE SPEAK RIGHT NOW, MY

UNDERSTANDING IS HURRICANE MATTHEW IS MAKING LANDFALL IN

FLORIDA, AND WE JUST WANT TO SAY WE HOPE EVERYBODY DOWN THERE

STAYS SAFE, FLORIDA, GEORGIA, ON THE CAROLINA COAST.

IF YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN OUT THEREOF, IF YOU'RE IN

EVACUATION, PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO GO.

IF NOT FIND A PLACE, FIND SOME SHELTER, GET SOME WATER, FILL UP

YOUR BATH TUB.

PLEASE DO STAY SAFE.

I MEAN THAT ESPECIALLY FOR MY FAMILY DOWN THERE.

WE LOVE YOU.

( APPLAUSE ) YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE?

YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE IT TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR FOLKS DOWN

THERE WHEN A HURRICANE IS COMING?

THERE IS ANOTHER DISASTER HAPPENING THIS WEEKEND.

THIS SUNDAY IN ST. LOUIS, THEY'RE HOLDING ANOTHER

PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE, TRUMP VS.

CLINTON!

ONE ON ONE!

THE KERBLOOIE IN SAINT LOUIE!

( LAUGHTER ) AND IT IS SUCH A BIG EVENT, THAT

THE DEBATE WILL AIR LIVE IN MOVIE THEATERS ACROSS THE UNITED

STATES.

YES, ON THE SAME WEEKEND "BIRTH OF A NATION" IS OPENING IN

THEATERS, YOU CAN ALSO WATCH WHAT MIGHT BE THE DEATH OF ONE.

( LAUGHTER ) I JUST--

( LAUGHTER ) I JUST HOPE IT'S IN 3D.

IT WILL SEEM LIKE THE PANDERING IS COMING RIGHT AT YOU.

( LAUGHTER ) THE COMPANY THAT IS DOING THIS,

THE MOVIE THEATERRIES ARE OFFERING THE TICKETS FOR FREE.

AND ACCORDING TO THE ARTICLE, YOU CAN GET A FREE SODA WITH ANY

POPCORN PURCHASE, AND A COMPANY SPOKESPERSON SAID, "REPUBLICANS

AND DEMOCRATS WILL AGREE, THIS IS A PRETTY SWEET DEAL."

WRONG!

REPUBLICANS AND DEMOCRATS WILL NEVER AGREE ON ANYTHING.

THEY WON'T CONFIRM YOUR POPCORN, AND THEY'RE GOING TO FILIBUSTER

THE JUNIOR MINTS.

AND ONE OF THE THINGS THAT HURT TRUMP IN THE LAST DEBATE IS THE

FACT THAT HE OFFENDED SOME WOMEN BY INSULTING THEIR LOOKS AND

OTHERS BY COMPLIMENTING THEIR LOOKS.

AND THIS WEEK, HE WAS ASKED TO DEFEND ALL THOSE COMMENTS.

>> DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE CONCERN FROM PARENTS OF YOUNGER GIRLS,

THAT SOME OF THE WORDING THAT YOU'VE USED TO TALK ABOUT

ATTRACTIVENESS OR UNATTRACTIVENESS, MIGHT MAKE IT

MORE DIFFICULT FOR GIRLS WHO ARE STRUGGLING WITH THEIR BODY IMAGE

AND THE PRESSURE TO BE MODEL PERFECT?

>> SURE, I DO.

AND, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF THIS IS DONE IN THE ENTERTAINMENT

BUSINESS.

I'M BEING INTERVIEWED FOR "APPRENTICE," LONG BEFORE I EVER

THOUGHT IN TERMS OF RUNNING FOR OFFICE, OBVIOUSLY.

SO THIS WAS REALLY SOMETHING THAT I JUST DECIDED TO DO, BUT A

LOT OF THAT WAS DONE FOR THE PURPOSE OF ENTERTAINMENT.

>> Stephen: SEE, WOMEN?

HE WASN'T DEMEANING AND DEGRADING YOU.

HE WAS DEMEANING AND DEGRADING YOU FOR ENTERTAINMENT.

( LAUGHTER ) BECAUSE HE FOUND IT AMUSING.

AND IF WOMEN DON'T LIKE IT, THEY CAN FIND THEIR OWN FORM OF

ENTERTAINMENT.

MAYBE, I DON'T KNOW, VOTING AGAINST DONALD TRUMP THIS

NOVEMBER.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) JUST FOR FUN.

JUST FOR FUN.

I DON'T KNOW.

I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING MORE ENTERTAINING THAN WATCHING HIM

GIVE A CONCESSION SPEECH.

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

THAT-- THAT IN A MOVIE THEATER WEEK PRETTY FUN.

NOW, RECENTLY IT CAME OUT THAT TRUMP WORKED WITH THE GOLD

STANDARD IN OBJECTIFYING WOMEN FOR ENTERTAINMENT: "PLAYBOY."

FIRST, BUZZFEED DUG UP A "PLAYBOY" VIDEO FROM 2000 OF

TRUMP WELCOMING PLAYMATES TO NEW YORK BY POURING CHAMPAGNE ON A

LIMO.

THAT IS THE CLOSEST HE WILL EVER COME TO FILLING HIS OWN GAS

TANK.

AND JUST A FEW DAYS LATER, CNN UNEARTHED ANOTHER OLD "PLAYBOY"

VIDEO FEATURING TRUMP PHOTOGRAPHING AND INTERVIEWING A

MODEL.

EVIDENTLY, SHE PERFORMED WELL IN THE INTERVIEW BUT WAS NOT

SELECTED TO BE HIS NEXT WIFE.

( LAUGHTER ) THIS BOMBSHELL OF TRUMP HANGING

OUT WITH BOMBSHELLS COMES FROM A 1994 VHS TAPE TITLED "PLAYBOY

CENTERFOLD," THAT WAS OBTAINED BY SOMETHING CALLED "CNN'S

KFILE."

WELL, THIS IS IMPRESSIVE INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISM BLEW ME

AWAY AND I HAD TO KNOW MORE.

SO JOINING ME NOW, IS THE REPORTER RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS

SCOOP, CNN'S KFILE.

>> WHAT'S UP, STEPHEN.

K-FILE, THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE

IT'S ME, KEVIN FILEMAN-- A.K.A. K-FILE!

>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR JOINING US, KEVIN.

>> IT'S K-FILE.

>> Stephen: OKAY, K-FILE, HOW DID YOU ACQUIRE THIS EXPLOSIVE

1994 "PLAYBOY" VIDEOTAPE?

>> YEAH, IF I REMEMBER RIGHT, I GOT IT FROM MY OLDER BROTHER

DAVE, RIGHT, WHO IN TURN STOLE IT FROM HIS FRIEND'S DAD, WHO

HAD HAD IT HIDDEN IN THE VHS SLEEVE FOR "ROBOCOP."

>> Stephen: FASCINATING.

CAN WE EXPECT ANY MORE BIG REVELATIONS LIKE THIS?

>> OH, YEAH.

I'VE GOT A WHOLE BOX OF BIG REVELATIONS STASHED UNDER MY

BED.

YEAH, I GOT "BIG REVELATIONS 1," I GOT "BIG REVELATIONS 2," "BIG

REVELATIONS 3"-- IN THIS ONE, THEY'RE IN OUTER SPACE FOR SOME

REASON.

>> Stephen: HAVE YOU UNCOVERED ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT DONALD

TRUMP IN YOUR INVESTIGATIONS?

>> NOT YET, BUT I'M STILL GOING THROUGH DAVE'S OLD HUSTLERS AND

BUTT MAGS.

DAVE, YOU ARE SICK, BRO.

>> Stephen: CNN'S KFILE, EVERYBODY.

GREAT WORK KFILE.

NANTASKET.

FOLKS, WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

DIANE LANE IS HERE.

AND WHEN WE RETURN, WE WILL HEAR THE LATEST PROCLAMATIONS FROM A

CERTAIN FURRY HAT.

STICK AROUND!