I'm Catie Wayne, and this is "Weird Gross Beautiful"

我是Catie Wayne，歡迎收看「怪異可愛的動物行為」

on Animalist News.

在「動物專家」頻道上。

For those of you that don't know,

對於不熟悉這個節目的觀眾，

I've had a show called "Weird, Gross, and Beautiful,"

我有一個節目叫「怪異可愛的動物行為」，

and we were like, hey, how come it's not here on A News?

然後我們覺得，怎麼沒有在「A News」頻道上?

And we were like, I don't know

我不知道，

And so we switched it.

所以換到這個頻道。

And so those of you that are familiar with the show,

所以熟悉節目的朋友們，

I hope that you will subscribe to Animalist News

希望你們能訂閱「動物專家」

so that you can get your weekly dose of "Weird, Gross,

便能收到每周「怪異可愛的動物行為」的影片

and Beautiful."

And for those of you that are not aware of the show,

至於不知道這個節目的觀眾，

well then, here you go.

恩...來看看吧~

Hello and welcome to "Weird, Gross, and Beautiful."

歡迎來到「怪異可愛的動物行為」的頻道

I kind of discuss about animals

我介紹有關動物行為

that I think are weird, gross, beautiful, or all three.

而且是我認為怪異、噁心、可愛或三者皆有

And today, we're talking about pandas.

今天，我們要來聊聊貓熊

Yes, that's a panda.

沒錯，那是一隻貓熊。

Spoiler alert, I think they're cute.

先破梗，我覺得他們可愛極了

Newborn baby panda cubs are only three to four ounces,

新生貓熊寶寶只有三到四盎司重

and that is 1/900 of what their mommy would weigh.

只有熊貓媽媽的九百分之一重!

No!

天!

It's already too cute.

這已經可愛到受不了了!

It's exhausting loving animals as much as I do, you guys.

觀眾朋友，像我一樣熱愛動物是很累人的。(註：常常驚呼「好可愛」會很累)

They don't hibernate like other bears.

他們不會像其他熊一樣會冬眠。

Maybe that's why they got the dark circles.

也許這是他們有黑眼圈的原因，

Because they're so sleepy, because they

因為他們總像睡不飽，

don't hibernate like the other bears.

和他們像其他熊一樣冬眠

What a life.

真累的生活呀!

99% of what a panda bear eats is bamboo shoots.

幾乎所有熊貓都吃竹子。

And they have a special lining on the throat

他們喉嚨上有一層特殊內膜

to make sure that they don't get splinters and stuff like that.

可以保護喉嚨不被竹子劃傷。

Depending on how big the panda is,

依貓熊體型，

they'll have to eat 26 to 84 pounds of bamboo a day

他們每天會吃26到84磅的竹子。

because of how unnutritious bamboo is.

因為竹子很不營養，

Jesus Christ, somebody get them a [BLEEP] multivitamin.

天阿，有一些人給他們(髒話消音)綜合維他命。

That's ridiculous.

那太誇張了。

Look at that face.

看看那張臉，

Look at that tubby, tubby face. Actually,

看看那肥嘟嘟的臉頰~其實，

they're not tubby at all.

他們一點也不肥。

They are super muscular.

貓熊超級強壯。

In fact, a panda jaw, face, and cheek muscle thing,

事實上，貓熊的下顎有許多肌肉

it can easily nom nom nom on an aluminum dish.

可以輕易咬斷鋁盤。

And they can, obviously, conveniently

理所當然可以輕易的

chew right through bamboo.

咀嚼竹子。

And humans have a hard time getting

人類總是要費一番功夫

through the exact same stalk with an axe.

用斧頭砍下相同的數量。

Think about that for a second.

試想一下，

Humans are trying to chop these things down,

當我們把在砍竹子時，

and they're like, woo, breaking a sweat.

費勁九牛二虎之力。

Oh, man, this is so hard.

歐，老天，這超級難。

Pandas, they're just like, nom, like it's a Fruit Roll-Up.

貓熊卻像咀嚼水果軟糖捲一樣簡單。

Clearly these are powerful creatures.

顯然他們是很有力量的生物。

Panda mommies will only ovulate once in a year.

母貓熊只會一年排卵一次，

So they're only fertile two or three

所以每年只有二到三天

days out of every single year.

有受孕能力。

And so, realistically, she'll probably only give birth

實際上，她大概只會每兩年

every other year.

生產一次。

And pandas have a very, very poor reproduction rate.

所以貓熊生育率非常低。

But what's even sadder is that she'll maybe

但更令人難過的是，母貓熊

have one to two cubs at a time every other year,

可能會同時有一到二隻寶寶。

and then she'll just leave one of them

然後如果是雙胞胎，

to die if they happen to be twins,

她會丟掉一隻，放任她自生自滅，

because she can't take care of both of them.

因為她沒辦法同時照顧兩隻。

This is so sad!

這太令人難過了!

And as if that wasn't bad enough, more than half

還有更壞的是，超過一半

of newborn pandas die from diseases

的新生貓熊死於疾病

or from being accidentally crushed by a mommy.

或被母貓熊不小心壓死。

Pandas are cute, but man, they're [BLEEP] parents.

貓熊很可愛，但是他們是很差的父母。

Thank you so much for watching "Weird, Gross, and Beautiful."

感謝您收看「怪異又可愛的動物行為」單元。

My name is Catie Wayne.

我是Catie Wayne

And if you would like to, you can

如果你喜歡本節目，你可以

follow me on Twitter @catiewayne and let

在twitter上關注我，

me know animal you would like me to cover next.

並讓我知道下周妳希望我介紹的動物。

This week's episode was suggested by Jade,

這周的主題是由Jade推薦的。

so thank you so much, sweetheart.

非常謝謝妳，甜心

And you could check out these videos over here.

你可以點擊旁邊的影片

And if you like this video, you could share it,

還有，假如你喜歡，請分享這支影片

because that would be super helpful to me.

因為這對我會很有幫助

Oh my gosh.

歐，老天!

I love you all.

我愛你們!

And I'll see you next time.

下周見!

Bye.

拜拜!