Everything's uploaded today.

終於上傳完今天所有的影片了

Let's see what all my friends are uploading.

來看看我的碰友們

'Cause I need to unwind and actually watch some stuff.

上傳了什麼東西

Okay...

因為我需要放輕鬆

Umm, right.

然後看ㄧ些影片

What do we ha- wait!

好~的~

The fuck is this?!

嗯哼

Pewdiepie: "Hey, Jacksepticeye...

有什麼好看的....等等!

I bet you think we're bros.."

這是神馬 ఠ_ఠ

Jack: Woah...

Pewdiepie: 嘿

Pewds: "Just 'cause we hang out."

Jacksepticeye...

"I bet you think we're straight up homedogs,

我猜你以為我們是哥們...

just cause we hugged once."

哇

Jack: 'THE FUCK?' Pewds: 'Well guess what, I hate my dog, and I hate you too'

就因為我們一起消磨時間

Pewds: "Well guess what? I hate my dog and I hate you too." Jack: The fuck?

我賭你覺得我們是好碰友

"This is the jacksepticeye roast!"

只因為我們擁抱過一次

"Prepare to get flamed!"

Pewds: "但你猜怎樣？" Jack:"啥米?" Pewds: "我討厭我的狗。我也討厭你。"

"Bitch."

這是對JackSepticEye的嗆聲

*dramatic intro music*

準備被嗆得涕淚橫飛吧

Jack: OH, OH... OH that's it, THAT'S IT!

婊子 (#ﾟДﾟ)

OH! IT'S ON!

噢...噢...我受不鳥了,受不鳥了!

*DRAMATIC MUSIC*

噢...嘴砲戰爭開始了!

Hey Pewdiepie! HAHA! More like "pew-I wish you'd die."

嘿 Pewdiepie! 哈哈更像是"pew, 我希望你屎."

You say I have a prepubescent beard!

你說我有還沒發育完成的鬍子

Well maybe I just don't wanna grow one as long as yours, that makes me look like a fuckin' homeless person!

也許我只是不想要有像你一樣長的鬍子,因為那會讓我看起來像流浪漢!

*Heavy bass beats*

喔吼吼吼, 是不是有人再也沒有鬍子了啊?

OHHOHAHO, does somebody not have a beard anymore?

是不是有人失去了鬍子了啊?

Did somebody lose the beard?

所以你要把臉遮起來,就因為你不敢給我們看你的臉啊?

and you have to cover it up now with a mask, beacuse you're too embarrassed to show it off?

啊哈哈哈

AHAHAHA!

你知道嗎? 我不能怪你。如果我是你的鬍子，我也會想要盡快遠離你。

Ya know what? I can't say blame it though. If I was your beard, I'd want to get away from you as fast as possible too!

嘿瑞典男孩!

*beats continue*

我有ㄧ些家具在這裡，你可以幫我組裝嘛?(IKEA梗)

Hey Swedish boy!

你說我長得像馬鈴薯

I've got some furniture over here, that I'd like you to build!

你說這是我的家人!

You say I look like a potato.

我可是把這個當早餐吃的

You say this is my family!

*咬*

I eat this shit for breakfast!

*噎到*

*crunch*

*吐*

*spits*

至少我看起來不像一顆長毛的瑞典肉球

At least I don't look like a hairy Swedish meatball.

你說我像納粹?

You say I look like a nazi?

至少我有參與戰爭，你這個瑞典小弱弱!

Well at least I was in the war, ya Swedish pussy!

嘿Felix! 你有4400萬訂閱者

Hey, Felix! You have 44 Million subscribers.

那你的觀看數怎麼那麼少?

Where's all da views, bro? *music stops*

說好的觀看數呢?

*no music*

哈哈哈哈

Where's all da views?

你覺得我模仿你?

HAHAHAHAHEH *music continues*

哈哈

You think that I copy you?

嘿Felix!

HAHA

你什麼時候才會開始上傳1080p

Hey Felix!

或者60FPS的高品質影片呢?

When are you gonna start uploading in 1080p,

至少我不需要在所有的影片縮圖放屁屁跟捏捏

or 60 FPS?

才會吸引人們來看我的影片

At least I don't have to put ass and tits in all my thumbnails to clickbait people into watching my videos!

如果可以我會給你看你實際上長怎樣，

I would show you what you really look like,

可惜脫褲子並拍我的屁屁是違反Youtube的規則的

except it's against terms of service to pull down my pants and show my ass to the camera.

我以為你是Youtube第一名? 那為什麼你那麼努力要成為比較爛的Filthy Frank?

I thought you were number 1 on Youtube? Then why are you trying so hard to be a watered down Filthy Frank?

你看起來像希特勒的春夢!

*bass beats continue*

*模仿Pewds開場白*"兄弟們好嗎?"

You look like Hitler's wet dream!

你聽到了嗎?

*imitating Pewds* "TEHEHEHEHOW's it going bros?"

哥們?

You hear that?

大家聽到了嗎?

Bros?

Felix是男性至上主義者

Hear that, everyone?

什麼時候才會有...呃...姊妹拳?

Felix is sexist!

什麼時候才會有"姊妹們好嗎?"

When are we gonna get a sister fist?

為什麼ㄧ直都是兄弟們?

When are we gonna get a "How's it going sisters?"

你是不是他媽的有什麼陰謀啊?

Why is it always bros with you?

檢查一下你的權利好嗎

You got some sort of fuckin' agenda?

你什麼時候會再玩Amnesia啊，哥們?

Check your privilege Felix!

Amnesia實況在哪?

When are you gonna play Amnesia again, bro?

恐怖遊戲實況在哪?

Where is Amnesia?

哈哈好啦，我玩夠了

Where's the horror games?

嗆聲真的超爽的

*laughing* Ho - okay, that's enough of that.

雖然很多人都希望這些嗆聲是真的

That was really fun to do. *laughing*

他們不是

As much as people want these things to be real,

我跟Felix是很好的朋友，對此我非常高興

they're not.

他在他的嗆聲影片結尾那邊

Me and Felix are very good friends and I'm very, very happy about that.

說了很多我的好話

He said some incredibly nice things

我完全沒想到

at the end of his roast video about me,

我完全沒想到他會在那個影片裡說我的好話

and I did not expect that at all.

所以那讓我很高興

I did not expect to see anything like that in that video,

我不知道，我對他說得那些話受寵若驚

and it made me really happy and I'm really...

謝謝你，Felix，你對我說的話對我很重要

I - I don't know. I'm really flattered and humbled that he'd even say such things so...

很多人喜歡批評Felix

Thank you, Felix, that really meant a lot to me and um...

很多人覺得他是個無敵大爛人

A lot of people like to give shit to Felix.

覺得他做Youtube影片只是為了觀看次數跟錢並且完全不關心他的粉絲

A lot of people like to think that he's some big douchebag asshole Youtuber

可是在我跟他認識幾年後

who's only in it for the views and the money and he doesn't care about his fans at all,

我可以跟你說他是你會遇到的人中非常真誠，

but having known the guy for a couple of years now,

非常友善的人

I can tell you that he's one of the most genuine,

不管你覺得他的影片怎麼樣

and the nicest people that you will ever meet in real life.

不管你喜歡看什麼，或你的喜好是怎樣的

What ever you think about his videos,

那不重要因為Felix是一個超級大好人

what ever you like to watch, or whatever your style is,

我很開心我可以認識他並在這幾年中跟他做朋友

that does not matter because Felix is an incredibly nice person

我很開心我可以認識他並在這幾年中跟他變熟

and I'm so super happy that I got to know him a lot better

而且跟他做朋友

over the last couple of years,

他為我做了很多

and I actually get to call him a friend.

我不只是在說他幫我衝訂閱與點閱

He's done a lot for me.

不只是在Youtube上

And I don't just mean in regards to subscribers or views

還是在現實中

or just on Youtube.

每當我需要找人談心

But just in general.

或是我有什麼問題時

Anytime that I need someone to talk to,

我都會用Skype找他

or anytime that I'm on Skype

我知道我總是能找他

and I need to ask somebody something

因為他總是在那傾聽著

I always know that I can go to him

他真的在乎我

because he's always there, he listens,

只要需要他，他就在那

he genuinely cares,

而且他也在乎他們

and he's there for the people who care about him.

我愛你，Felix，你是個好碰友

And he cares a lot for other people as well, so...

我很高興我們結為好友，因為我們從中獲得許多樂趣

I love you Felix, you're a good dude.

沒惡意

And I'm glad we did this, because this was a shit ton of fun.

這一切都只是為了好玩，愛爾蘭有一句話

HAHAHEH

一切都是為了歡笑

No bad blood at all -

總之，謝謝你，Felix，我很高興我們可以當朋友

it's all in good fun, it's all for the - all for the "crack of it"

也謝謝看這影片的觀眾

as the Irish would say.

如果你喜歡，按個讚

But... thank you, Felix. I'm really glad that you're my friend, too.

在我臉上，像個老大一樣

But also, Thank YOU guys SO MUCH FOR WATCHING THIS VIDEO

到處擊掌

IF YOU LIKED IT, PUNCH THE LIKE BUTTON

謝謝你們大家，我們

IN THE FACE - LIKE A BOSS!!

下部影片見

AND, high fives all around!

*WHA-PSHHH, WHA-PSHHH*

BUT THANK YOU GUYS AND I WILL SEE ALL YOU DUDES

IN THE NEXT VIDEOOO

Biting raw potato is NOT nice.