Quickest route.

最快的方式是甚麼？不要走高速公路！

No freeways.

電腦！阿是有沒有收到！？

Computer, do you hear me?

（登.....等.....燈！！！！！！！

*dramatic music*

您好，布魯斯少爺...

Hello, Master Bruce.

(親子鎖啟動）

I have just taken away your computer privileges.

我已經把您的電腦使用權關閉了。

Gasp!

蝦密！？

Sir, it's time for you to stop this unhealthy behavior.

少爺，您真的該停止這種不健康的生活了

You can't spend the rest of your life alone,

您不能這樣孤獨一生

dressed in black,

又只穿黑衣服，而且晚上都沒在睡覺的。

and staying up all night.

晚安，阿福。

Goodnight, Alfred.

少爺， 現在是早上

Sir, it's morning.

阿嘶～～～～～～～～～～～～阿～～～～～～～～～

Hiss! Arrgh!

您真的要好好對自己負起責任了

You need to take responsibility for your life,

首先從好好扶養自己的兒子做起！

and it starts

歹勢...我...真的完全不知道你在講什麼...

by raising your son.

就是您領養的那個年輕孤兒

I'm sorry.

我以為我只是隨便講講而已

I...

嘿你好～針孔攝影機

literally have no idea what you're talking about.

蝦密？

The young orphan you adopted at the gala.

是蝙蝠洞誒～

Wheeeee!

歐買尬！歐買尬！歐買尬！歐買尬！歐買尬！歐買尬！歐買尬！歐買尬！歐買尬！

Ooo! *thump*

噁噁阿阿阿（崩潰

I thought I was being sarcastic!

蝙蝠俠！！！

Hello, secret camera!

哇嗚！

What?

沒錯我就是這麼屌！

It's the Bat Cave!

等等，蝙蝠俠住在布魯斯偉恩的地下室！？

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!

才不是勒！

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!

是布魯斯那傢伙住在蝙蝠俠的小閣樓好嗎？

Oh my gosh, oh my gweeaaauughhh

哇嗚～我也會有自己的服裝嗎？

*smack*

別碰那個！

*gasp*

我愛這套！(墨西哥樂隊裝）

Batman!

那套文化氣息太濃厚了

Whoa!

（恐懼騎士）

You're darn right "whoa"!

你覺得這套怎麼樣？（華麗搖滾蝙蝠俠）

Wait.

那這件勒？

Does Batman live in Bruce Wayne's basement?

你甭想

No.

等等，這套是什麼？

Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic.

我超愛這套的！

Wow, do I get a costume?

只是我覺得這褲子實在是有點緊

Don't touch that.

我有辦法了！

Woohoo!

脫掉就對拉～

Computer voice: "The Mariachi"

好多了

Batman: That one is culturally insensitive.

我終於無拘無束了

Computer Voice: Night Terror.

來吧蝙蝠俠，一起來跳恰恰

Robin: What do we think of this?

我實在不想看到你脖子以下的畫面

Computer voice: Glam Bat.

準備好跟隨蝙蝠俠的腳步了嗎？

Robin: This one.

順便也來學習一下人生的試煉

Batman: Absolutely not.

當然準備好了

Wait, what's that one there?

可是...安全帶在哪裡？

I love it!

人生試煉一。

My only trouble is

人生是不會提供你安全帶的！！

these pants are just a little tight.

阿福！？

I got an idea.

真受不了我敏銳的反應神經

RIIIIIP!

噢..噢...天啊！

That's better!

真的很歹勢

Now I'm free!

稍等回蝙蝠洞第一件事，我會請阿福裝上安全帶的

Now I'm moving.

但是現在我暫時先用我的手臂擋著你

Come on, Batman!

接下來讓我們來超級低調的,小心的,慢慢地漸消在這裡.......

Let's get groovin'!

I can only look you in the eyes right now.

Are you ready to follow Batman?

And maybe learn a few life lessons along the way?

I sure am!

But first...

Where's the seatbelt?

The first lesson is...

LIFE DOESN'T GIVE YOU SEATBELTS.

♫ Black and Yellow ♫

*crash* Oof!

Alfred!

I have incredible reflexes!

*Joker laughs*

Woohoo!

UGH!

Oh, oh my goodness!

I am SO sorry!

As soon as I get back to the Bat Cave,

I will make sure that Alfred puts seatbelts on there.

But for the time being,

I'm just gonna put my arm right here.

And we're just gonna

gently

ease outta here.

Real gentle-like.