Ah!

I know how to be ninja now.

Ah! Ah, stop it!

(groaning) Stop it!

Ah! Somebody help me!

(groaning in pain)

- Hey, you. - Who? Me?

- Yeah, you. - Mom?

- Still getting beat up at school? - Yeah.

- You still can't defend yourself? - Mm-hmm.

Well, then, How to be Gangster is the DVD for you.

Hey, I caught it!

(yells, fumbles)

(groans)

This DVD includes your two very own personal trainers.

Yo, wassup?

My name is R-Dizzle-Fo-Shizzle-My-Nizzle Off-Da-Hizzle...Drizzle.

Yo, yo, yo, wassup?

My name is... Mike.

The first lesson in being a gangsta

is to swear at every sentence and use hand motions.

What the (bleep) is your (bleep)in' problem,

you mother(bleep)in' (bleep)?

I'm gonna (bleep) you up, you (bleep), in the (bleep)hole.

Lesson number two:

you gotta have a cool, quick handshake with all your homies.

Oh, wassup?

Gimme some. Yeah! Up high!

Yeah! Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

- Fish. - Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah!

(chuckling) Yeah!

Lesson three: you gotta know how to pose.

You gotta stand cool with your homies.

Here's some poses that you guys can try out.

The Layback,

The Cholo,

The Kickstand,

The Breastcup,

The Crane,

The Dog,

The Chicken,

The Camel,

and The Cameltoe.

Lesson four: a true gangster always breaks the rules.

(chuckles mischievously)

(chuckles mischievously) Yeah.

Aw, yeah.

Lesson... five:

a true gangster knows how to rap.

(lip-syncing) ♪ Soulja Boy off in this ho ♪

♪ Watch me crank it, watch me roll ♪

♪ Watch me crank that Soulja Boy ♪

♪ Then Superman that... ♪

(lip-syncing) ♪ ...in a silly place ♪

♪ It starts in my toes and I crinkle my nose ♪

(lip-syncing) ♪ ...apple bottom jeans ♪

♪ Boots with the fur ♪

(lip-syncing) ♪ ...you make me smile ♪

♪ Please stay for a while now ♪

(lip-syncing) ♪ I'm hot 'cause I'm fly ♪

♪ You ain't 'cause you're not ♪

(lip-syncing) ♪ And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful ♪

♪ And it kills him inside ♪

(lip-syncing) ♪ Heat it up, get it up, keep it up there ♪

♪ Heat it up, get it up, keep it up there ♪

(lip-syncing) ♪ I don't wanna do this anymore ♪

♪ I don't wanna be the reason why ♪

Yo, if you follow all of these lessons...

It should look a little something like this.

'Sup, homie?

- (smack) - (groans)

(groaning) Stop it! Stop it! Argh!

- (blam!) - (groans)

Fatality.

Teehee!

How to be Gangster is the DVD for you.

Hey, I caught it!

Ah...

How to be Gangster is the DVD for you.

Hey, I caught it!

(Ryan laughs) God damn it.

How to be Gangster is the DVD for you.

Hey, I caught it!

(Ryan laughs)

That was so off.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

(laughing)

Whoa, was... (laughing)

Oh... (laughing)

Oh, uh, yeah! Oh, uh, yeah!

Yeah. Yeah. Uh, uh, uh.

(laughing)

Lesson four: a true gangsters always break the rules.

(Ryan laughs) "Always break da rules."

- 'Sup, homie? - (giggles)

'Sup, homie?

(smack)

Ah! Ah! Stop it! Stop it!

Ah! (groans)

(ball bounces, knocks over something)

Oh, (bleep), not again.

Uh-oh.

Shh.

Oh!