There's a lot of rumours going around about

the Rihanna and Chris Brown incident

and I know you're aching toknow what really happened.

so, this is how it went down.

Rihanna: You look so dumb right now,

standing outside my house trying to apologise.

You're so ugly when you cry,please just cut it out.

Chris: What?

Rihanna: And don't tell me you're sorry'cause you're not.

chris, I know you're only sorryyou got caught.

Chris: What are you talking about?

Rihanna: Chris, I know you cheated on me.

Chris: How could I have cheated on you?

I was *singing* with you, with you,with you, with you, with you, girl.

Rihanna: *tsk of disgust*

Chris: *singing* With you, with you,with you, with you, with you, the whole time.

Rihanna: Don't give me that bullcrap.

Chris: What about that one night when

you said you were cheating on me?

Rihanna: What night?

*singing* and i know that he knowsI'm unfaithful and it kills him inside.

Chris: What?

Rihanna: Oh yeah, that.

Chris: *sigh*

Rihanna: Well, you know what Chris,

it doesn't matter 'cause you ain'tgetting under any of this anymore.

Chris: What?

Rihanna: I said you ain't getting under this.

Chris: Under what?

Rihanna: *singing* Under my umbrella.

Chris: That's a lamp.

Rihanna: So what, you think you'resome kind of umbrella expert now?

Chris: God, you're an idiot.

Rihanna: You know what, Chris?

You can leave.

I like Jesse McCartney better anyway.

So get in your car and *singing*shut up and drive, drive, drive.

Chris: Excuse me?

Rihanna: That's right, Chris.

I like Jesse McCartney better because he doesn't

want just another pretty face orjust anyone to hold.

He doesn't want his love to go to waste.

Rihanna: He wants me and my beautiful soul.

Chris: Oh you did not just say that, girl.

I'm gonna...

Rihanna: Wait, I, I..

I'm sorry, Chris.

I didn't mean that!

Chris, I'm sorry.

Gimme a kiss.

Gimme a kiss, I'm sorry, Chris.

Chris: Don't gimme that lovey-doveylovey-dovey kiss kiss kiss kiss.

I'm gonna grab your face andshove it from wall to wall.

I don't care if any of the neighbours call.

Rihanna: *whimper*

Chris: Then I'm gonna crack a bottle,

let my body waddle and shove it in your face

'cause you think you're a model.

Rihanna: That's not even your song.

Chris: You son of a ...

Nigahiga: And that's exactly how it happened.