♪ Hey ♪

嗨！

[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

-抱歉，我遲到了！ -喔，嗨！

♪ Don't write Yourself off yet ♪

沒關係

♪ It's only in your head you ♪

讓我有時間能打破貪食蛇紀錄

JOANNA: Hi.

反正，我早就習慣別人晚到了

Sorry I'm late.

彼得，蒂芬妮的朋友 因為帶酒進舞廳而遭逮捕

Oh, hey.

他們全都被逐出那舞廳 你應該為此感到高興

It's okay. Gave me time

因為她曾拋棄過你

to beat my Snake score.

-真的嗎？ -是的！

Anyways, I'm already used

沒關係啦！

to being flaked on.

當初我也不喜歡跟她在一起

Mm. Peter. Tiffany's whole group

那你當初為何不和別的女生約會呢？

got caught bringing alcohol into the dance.

因為沒人想理我啊！

They got kicked out, so you should be happy

整個學校都沒有嗎？

she bailed on you.

是有一個女生啦！

Really?

但是我並不曉得 她對我有沒有感覺

Yeah.

隨便啦！

That's okay, I didn't wanna go

那時已經有人約她了

with her anyways.

下次別猶豫不決

Well why didn't you ask

你應該多約幾位女生

someone else?

我不喜歡用這樣的方式待人

There's no one else to ask.

說不定我就是你的約會清單之一

Nobody? In the whole school?

魏斯那邊有個小聚會 要不要跟我一起去？

I mean, there was another girl,

我聽人說他剛買了一台任天堂喔！

but I wasn't sure how she felt.

我想還是不要去好了

♪ Alright It just takes some time ♪

因為大學申請截止日快到了

[SIGHS] Whatever.

彼得，今年是你高中的最後一年 你應該好好地放縱一下了

Someone else asked her anyway.

不要一直擔心啦！

Well then don't wait so long next time.

我怎麼可能不擔心學業

You know?

你要知道，選擇一所好大學 是一件非常重要的事

You should have had a backup.

因為大學對我的未來意義重大

I don't wanna make someone a backup.

註定會發生的事，你是躲不掉的

I would have been your backup.

你也只能逆來順受

[SCOFFS]

是啊！沒錯

[LAUGHS]

那麼，到時我就30歲 失業還單身

Hey, do you wanna go to the after party at Wes'?

只能與父母同住

I heard he just got a GameCube.

自言自語地說著： 我也只能逆來順受

Nah, I don't think so. Applications are due soon.

好啦！那你也許能想個Ｂ計畫

Peter, this is senior year. You need to start enjoying it more.

難道你剛才都沒學到一些舞步嗎？

Stop worrying.

除非你已經決定30歲要當個單身漢

How can I not worry?

當然不要

You know, college is so important.

30歲算很老了！ 你覺得自己30歲就會結婚嗎？

You know, it affects everything.

我不知道，現在講這件事還言之過早

Whatever's gonna happen is gonna happen, you know.

而且，說這件事有何意義呢？

You might as well just go with the flow.

我父母在他們30歲時就離婚了

Oh, okay, sure.

但你不擔心自己可能會孤獨過一生嗎？

I'll be 30, jobless, single,

反正就逆來順受啊！

living on my parent's couch and muttering to myself

也許你也能想個Ｂ計畫

"I'm just, going with the flow."

你學我說話

[LAUGHS]

那麼妳想成為我約會名單之一員嗎？

Okay, so maybe you need a backup plan.

好啊！沒問題

Did you learn nothing from the dance, you know?

等等，你答應了？

Unless you wanna be single when you're 30.

當然啊！

Oh, hell no.

但前提是你也是我的約會名單之一

Thirty is so old. Do you think you'll be married by then?

到時，我們可能各自有伴而且非常開心

I don't know. That's like forever from now, you know?

但是，假如我們各自沒伴...

And anyway, what's the point?

你剛才確實點出幾個重點

My parents, they got divorced in their 30s, so.

-有嗎？ -有啊！

Yeah, but doesn't it freak you out that you might be alone?

假如你之前想到約會名單的方法 說不定我早就在你的名單之中

Mm, just go with the flow, you know?

那麼，你就不會害怕 與你中意的女孩約會了

Or have a backup plan.

是啊！

Hey, you're learning, ha-ha-ha.

好吧！好吧！

Oh, do you wanna be my backup then?

假如我們到30歲都單身的話...

Yeah, okay.

那我們就結婚吧

Ha, ha... Wait. What?

好主意！

Yeah, why not, you know?

乾杯

But only if you were my backup too.

嗨！

By then, we'll probably be totally happy with other people,

好，我馬上到

but, if we're not, you've made some good points.

魏斯剛好在那裡

I did?

你真的不去嗎？

Yeah. Like, if you had known

不了

that I would have been your backup to the dance, wouldn't it

好吧！那我們下週一見囉！

have been less scary to ask that girl you wanted to go with?

再見！未來老公

Yeah.

再會！未來老婆

Okay, okay. If we're still single by 30 then...

喬安娜

let's get married.

祝你玩的盡興

Cool.

謝啦！掰

Oh. Shake on it?

單身，30歲

[SLURPING]

早安！葛雷絲

[PHONE RINGS]

今天是你生日嗎？

Hey.

我通常都會定時更新臉書

Okay yeah, I'll be right out.

但自從我媽邀請我加入她的讀經班 我就把自己的臉書刪除了

Hey, Wes is here. Are you sure you don't wanna go?

其實今天是我生日

Yeah.

你要送我什麼？

Well, I'll see you Monday, then.

一位遵守職業倫理的員工，如何？

Later, future husband.

因為我很需要他

Peace out, wifey.

別生氣，我幾小時前 通過了求職網的需求

Joanna!

那你在忙些什麼呢？

Have a good time.

就一首新歌

I will. Bye.

這就是你為了這原因才讀生化學位嗎？

♪ Everything, everything Will be just fine ♪

不是，只要一年內我順利讀醫學院 我就會用到生化學位的文憑

♪ Everything, everything Will be just fine ♪

現在我要為自己 申請醫學院的事大吹大擂了

[PHONE CHIMES]

你知不知道自己有多幸運啊？

♪ Everything, everything Will be alright ♪

我上大學前那年根本就沒讓自己閒著

[PHONE CHIMES]

高三畢業後的暑假 爸媽就叫我到這裡工作

[SIGHS]

另一方面 我還必須去實習

[♪♪♪]

不准聊天

PETER: Morning, Grace.

快去工作

GRACE: Isn't it your birthday or something?

生日快樂

I normally rely on Facebook, but I deactivated it after

謝啦，老媽！

Mom invited me to her Bible study group.

彼得，生日快樂

In fact, it is. What did you get me?

我剛才傳了祝賀詞到你的臉書了

An employee with a solid work ethic? 'Cause, I need one.

謝啦，老爸！

Chill. I processed the Goldman order like hours ago.

你要怎麼慶祝30歲生日呢？

Well, what are you working on now, then?

10歲生日時我和馬克約定好要一起 嘗一嘗好吃的塔可餅

Oh, just a new track.

塔可餅？等一等， 你不覺得那像是40歲生日禮物...

[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS]

就是有總比沒有好的心情啊？

Is this what you're using your Biochem degree for?

羅賓有祝你生日快樂嗎？

No. I'm gonna use that in a year when I go to med school.

沒有！

Now is the time to brag about applying to medical school.

為什麼？

Do you realize how lucky you are?

可能是她想跟我分手吧？

I didn't get a gap year. The summer after I graduated,

打個電話吧！

Mom and Dad made me work here,

要說什麼？

and I had to have an internship.

嗨，我是你的前男友

Stop talking and get back to work.

祝我生日快樂吧！

Happy birthday!

那就打給其他人啊！

Thanks, Ma.

男人到你這年紀是早就該成家了

Happy birthday, Peter. I've posted on your wall.

你應該趕快行動 給我們抱抱孫子啦！

Oh...nice. Thanks, Dad.

是啊，彼得

So, what are you gonna do for the big three-oh?

不然你就會對讓這個家庭蒙羞喔！

Mm, Mark and I gonna go check out this new taco truck on 10th.

這樣不行

Tacos? Slow down, isn't that like a 40th birthday,

麗莎

this is as good as it gets type of thing?

小喬

Robin wish you a happy birthday?

嗨...

No.

見到你真開心

Why not?

我也是！

Maybe it's the whole we're not together anymore thing?

真不敢相信你就在我面前

You should call her.

感覺挺怪的！

And say what? Hey, uh, this is your ex-boyfriend calling.

還是你要回新加坡前 在這裡有個小豔遇呢？

Wish me a happy birthday.

不是啦，我想在這裡住一陣子

[SCOFFS] Then call someone else.

那我要聽你全部的事

A man of your age should be settling down by now.

我之前在部落格裡看到這一帶的資訊

Mm-hmm.

這兒應該有最好吃的塔可餅啊！

It's time to hurry up

那是什麼啊...魚和葡萄

and give us grandbabies.

這裡就是幫你慶生的地方嗎？

Yeah, Peter, you're kind of bringing

是啊！這裡挺悠閒的

great shame on this family.

我就愛這樣

[♪♪♪]

說到悠閒...

[BIRDS WHISTLING]

你覺得這個App如何？

Nope.

它叫Dryncht

[INDISTINCT TALKING]

它告訴你，假如你擦太多古龍水...

Lisa?

這App實在太爛了！

JoJo!

這種無厘頭的主題也能做成App

Hi!

我也不曉得，我只想賺錢而已

Oh, it's so good to see you.

羅賓祝你生日快樂了嗎？

Oh, you too.

沒有！

Wow.

為什麼每個人都問我這個問題呢？

I can't believe you're here, like standing here,

因為沒理由不會祝你生日快樂啊！

it's so weird. Or is this one of those,

就連臉書都記得祝你生日快樂了

I have a layover before my Singapore flight visits?

這真是個大爆點

[LAUGHS] No, I'm a, I'm back back for now.

前女友對你的30歲生日不聞不問 而且連一句生日快樂都不說

Okay, well I want all the deets.

那不就表示她把你忘得一乾二淨

Okay.

我根本就不期待她祝福我啊

[♪♪♪]

不過，真有她的祝福也是不錯啦！

Okay, so I read about this place on a blog

我想羅賓很無情

and they're supposed to have the best tacos.

我可以說那句，但你無權這麼說喔！

What is that, fish and grapes? Is this how we're

你能想像假如自己依舊和她在一起嗎？

going out for your birthday?

她絕對會辦一場超級棒的生日舞會

Yeah, man, it's chill.

不過主角是她！

I like chill.

而你卻甘願任由她擺布

And speaking of chill,

因為...你從未表達過自己的立場

what do you think of this app?

我哪有啊！

It's called Dryncht. [INHALES SHARPLY]

他竟然插隊！

Apparently it tells you if you're wearing too much cologne.

你就這樣悶不吭聲嗎？

No, that sounds terrible. How does that even work?

-不是 -老兄！

I don't know, I'm just the money guy.

你插隊了！

Did Robin wish you happy birthday?

今天是他生日，給我走開！

No.

真沒教養！

Why does everyone keep asking me that?

老闆好！

It's almost impossible not to wish someone a happy birthday.

老闆好

You know, I mean Facebook puts it on your phone.

麻煩來兩份魚和葡萄的的餐點 給這位生日壽星

I mean it's gotta be a big deal, the year an ex-girlfriend

我都是透過網路了解你的一切

doesn't hit you up anymore to wish you a happy birthday.

而且我非常羨慕你

I mean, that means she's totally over you.

你真的在遊艇上辦舞會？

Look, I wasn't expecting to hear from her.

是啊！那是幾年前我在泰國的時候

Although it would have been nice.

然後，你剪了短髮 寫著：五月就要做自己

Yeah well, Robin's not nice.

之後就杳無音訊

Hey.

對！現在我退隱社群網站了

I can say that, but you can't.

因為某個男孩？

Yeah, I mean,

算是吧！

can you imagine if you were still with her?

是在頂樓舞會穿著中國服還養一隻狗 而且大家瘋狂轉貼的那個帥哥嗎？

I mean, she would throw the most amazing birthday party

抱歉，我太著迷你的資訊了

for Robin. And you would have been okay with it.

你真是忠實的粉絲啊！

Because...you never say what you want.

是沒錯啦！他叫卡羅

That's not true, man.

他想要得更多，而我還不想定下來 所以我離開他了

Hey, he just cut you. Are you gonna let him cut you?

我就長話短說 之後他與我的一個好朋友交往

No.

-怎會這樣！ -他們要結婚了

Hey buddy,

-什麼？ -剛剛收到喜帖

you cut my friend. It's his birthday, move your ass.

搶你的男人還邀請你喝喜酒

Put my foot in it.

這對你太不公平了

Hey, how you doing?

不會啦！別這麼說

What's up?

艾莉森和我在大學時期情同姊妹

Fish and grapes, please. Birthday boy.

而且她很坦率的告訴我這件喜事

Two. Two.

換作是我，還是會覺得非常奇怪

LISA: So everything I know about you is from the internet,

其實，這也真不是意料之中的事

I'm totally obsessed. You partied on a yacht?

但是，快要30歲的我搬回到家鄉 也是意料之外的事

Mm, yeah, that was from a few years ago in Thailand.

而且單身...所以啊 真是世事難料啊！

Then you had that short hair, don't care phase in May.

不過我還是會祝福前男友 與我大學最要好的朋友

And then...nothing.

你從未讓我感覺到結婚是件開心的事

Yeah, I'm off social media now.

我和我妹都期待 鑽石求千金裡的場景成真

Is it because of a guy?

而你卻已經身在其中了

Yeah, sort of.

我可不覺得這是好的事

Was it the hot guy at the rooftop party

對了，克羅伊還好嗎？

with the Chinese lanterns and the pug

她都26歲了，還是那麼愛搞怪

that everybody was posing with?

她一直都與我同住

Yeah, sorry, I went down a rabbit hole.

你想找個室友嗎？

Wow, Swimfan. Uh, yeah, that was Carl.

壽星，今晚你想要去哪？

Carl wanted more, and I wasn't ready, so I left.

哪都不去

And long story short, he started seeing a close friend of mine.

別開玩笑了，振作點嘛！

Shut up.

壽星應該好好享受一下的 而且今天正是好時機

They're getting married.

我真的不想把今天搞得多盛重啦！

What?

給我你的手機

Just got the save the date.

我要幫你下載那個App

Steal your man and then invite you to the wedding.

噢！他們竟然加salsa辣醬

That is so dramatic.

兄弟啊！30歲有什麼不好啊？

Uh, no, it wasn't like that.

30歲就該盡情玩樂啊

Allison was like my little sister in college

你20多歲時過的了無生趣的生活 沒有錢，對人生感到迷惘

and she was very upfront about the whole thing.

完全不知道自己在忙些什麼

Still I would feel really weird if I were you.

你就像是青澀的成年人一樣

Obviously it's not what I had planned on happening,

是啊！我就是覺得自己 還沒達成心目中理想的成就

but neither was being almost 30 and moving back to my hometown,

我爸30歲的時候就已經結婚 有兩個孩子，而且還逃離共產國家

single, so uh, yeah, it's nothing I can't handle.

今天最重大的決定就是

Might as well throw in my ex marrying my college best friend.

如果我能夠退回 手上這個加了salsa辣醬的捲餅

Wow. You've never made me feel so happy about being married.

我雖屆齡30 但內心還是像青少年一樣

My sister and I have to

好了！幫你更新目前狀態了

binge watch The Bachelor and you're like

今晚你要在Sawhorse舉辦生日舞會

living the real thing.

兄弟，別鬧了！

I don't take that as a compliment.

我才不在乎呢！ 因為今天你最大

How is Chloe, by the way?

開啪啦！

Oh, she's 26 and a pain in my ass

噢，太好了！

and she's been living with me.

充足的陽光讓我的肌膚容光煥發

Hey, are you looking for a roommate?

我的天啊！ 我是說...我好喜歡這裡

MARK: So where we going tonight, birthday boy?

-真是太棒了！ -我們會不會進展太快啊

Nowhere.

我還要買一些傢具...

Are you kidding me? Come on, like...

我在臉書上看到一個拍賣會 還有二手拍賣會

"It's my birthday" is the best pick-up line

-這就交給我吧！ -我覺得彼此應該先認識一下

and tonight, it's actually true.

當然好啊！ 我簡單介紹自己一下

Look, I really don't want to make a big deal out of it.

-我25歲 -26

Let me see your phone.

-你別說話 -好

I'm gonna download this app.

愛看動畫(SWF) 有注意力缺失症(ADD)

[TAPPING]

我是性格分類(MBTI)中 人際間的現實適應者(ESFP)

Ah, they put salsa verde in this.

還有什麼呢...我睡覺時會找吃的 但是，醒著時也會找吃的

Dude, what's wrong with being in your 30s?

周遭的女性朋友都被我的舉動嚇到

Your 30s are awesome. If anything, your 20s sucked.

因為我在肢體上及言語上恐嚇她們

You have no money, no direction,

還有，我個性急躁，討厭小孩 還有不喜歡早起

you have no idea what you're doing.

好的，你從事什麼工作？

It's like, adult puberty.

-我是教書的 -對象是...小孩？

Yeah. I just feel like

很不幸地！

I haven't accomplished anything I thought I was supposed to.

不好意思，臉書上面寫著：

You know by the time my dad was 30, he was married,

妳的老友馬彼得 要舉辦一個盛大的生日舞會

had two kids and escaped a Communist regime.

我為什麼沒收到這則訊息啊？ 真不公平！

Mm-hmm.

馬彼得，好久沒見的朋友

My biggest decision today will be if I

地點在Sawhorse 我討厭那個酒吧

send back this burrito with salsa verde.

我愛那酒店

I may be 30, but I feel like a teenager.

-妳當然愛啊！ -誰是彼得啊？

Boom. Updated your status, you're hosting a birthday

他帥嗎？

party tonight, Sawhorse.

不如我們一起去 給他一點驚喜

Dude, not cool. What...

-要不要跟我去啊？ -這次真的無法與妳前去

I don't care. It's your birthday.

我和雷恩已經計畫好 今晚一起看大自然紀錄片