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  • CHAPTER 1 Down the Rabbit Hole

  • Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing

  • to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no

  • pictures or conversations in it, 'and what is the use of a book,' thought Alice 'without

  • pictures or conversation?'

  • So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the hot day made her

  • feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of making a daisy chain would be

  • worth the trouble of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit

  • with pink eyes ran close by her.

  • There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so VERY much out of

  • the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when

  • she thought it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at

  • this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK

  • A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started

  • to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit with

  • either a waistcoat pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she

  • ran across the field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large

  • rabbit hole under the hedge.

  • In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she

  • was to get out again.

  • The rabbit hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down,

  • so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself before she found

  • herself falling down a very deep well.

  • Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had plenty of time as

  • she went down to look about her and to wonder what was going to happen next. First, she

  • tried to look down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything;

  • then she looked at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with cupboards

  • and bookshelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She took down

  • a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was labelled 'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to

  • her great disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing

  • somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she fell past it.

  • 'Well!' thought Alice to herself, 'after such a fall as this, I shall think nothing of tumbling

  • down stairs! How brave they'll all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about

  • it, even if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely true.)

  • Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! 'I wonder how many miles I've fallen

  • by this time?' she said aloud. 'I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth.

  • Let me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think' (for, you see, Alice had learnt

  • several things of this sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not

  • a VERY good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to listen to

  • her, still it was good practice to say it over) 'yes, that's about the right distancebut

  • then I wonder what Latitude or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what Latitude

  • was, or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to say.)

  • Presently she began again. 'I wonder if I shall fall right THROUGH the earth! How funny

  • it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies,

  • I think' (she was rather glad there WAS no one listening, this time, as it didn't sound

  • at all the right word) 'but I shall have to ask them what the name of the country is,

  • you know. Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried to curtsey as

  • she spokefancy CURTSEYING as you're falling through the air! Do you think you could manage

  • it?) 'And what an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll never do to

  • ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.'

  • Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began talking again. 'Dinah'll

  • miss me very much tonight, I should think!' (Dinah was the cat.) 'I hope they'll remember

  • her saucer of milk at tea time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were down here with me! There are

  • no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse,

  • you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get rather sleepy,

  • and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, 'Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat

  • bats?' and sometimes, 'Do bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either

  • question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she was dozing off,

  • and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her

  • very earnestly, 'Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a bat?' when suddenly, thump!

  • thump! down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.

  • Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment: she looked up,

  • but it was all dark overhead; before her was another long passage, and the White Rabbit

  • was still in sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: away went Alice

  • like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, 'Oh my ears

  • and whiskers, how late it's getting!' She was close behind it when she turned the corner,

  • but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found herself in a long, low hall, which was

  • lit up by a row of lamps hanging from the roof.

  • There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; and when Alice had been all

  • the way down one side and up the other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle,

  • wondering how she was ever to get out again.

  • Suddenly she came upon a little three legged table, all made of solid glass; there was

  • nothing on it except a tiny golden key, and Alice's first thought was that it might belong

  • to one of the doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or the key

  • was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of them. However, on the second time

  • round, she came upon a low curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little

  • door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key in the lock, and to

  • her great delight it fitted!

  • Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not much larger than

  • a rat hole: she knelt down and looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you

  • ever saw. How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about among those beds

  • of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but she could not even get her head through

  • the doorway; 'and even if my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, 'it would be

  • of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a telescope!

  • I think I could, if I only know how to begin.' For, you see, so many out of the way things

  • had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were

  • really impossible.

  • There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went back to the table,

  • half hoping she might find another key on it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting

  • people up like telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it, ('which certainly was

  • not here before,' said Alice,) and round the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with

  • the words 'DRINK ME' beautifully printed on it in large letters.

  • It was all very well to say 'Drink me,' but the wise little Alice was not going to do

  • THAT in a hurry. 'No, I'll look first,' she said, 'and see whether it's marked "poison"

  • or not'; for she had read several nice little histories about children who had got burnt,

  • and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant things, all because they WOULD not remember

  • the simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a red hot poker will burn

  • you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your finger VERY deeply with a knife,

  • it usually bleeds; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked

  • 'poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.

  • However, this bottle was NOT marked 'poison,' so Alice ventured to taste it, and finding

  • it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour of cherry tart, custard, pineapple,

  • roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished it off.

  • 'What a curious feeling!' said Alice; 'I must be shutting up like a telescope.'

  • And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face brightened up at

  • the thought that she was now the right size for going through the little door into that

  • lovely garden. First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was going

  • to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about this; 'for it might end, you know,'

  • said Alice to herself, 'in my going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be like

  • then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is like after the candle is blown

  • out, for she could not remember ever having seen such a thing.

  • After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going into the garden at once;

  • but, alas for poor Alice! when she got to the door, she found she had forgotten the

  • little golden key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found she could not

  • possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her

  • best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had

  • tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and cried.

  • 'Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to herself, rather sharply; 'I

  • advise you to leave off this minute!' She generally gave herself very good advice, (though

  • she very seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring

  • tears into her eyes; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having cheated

  • herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious child was

  • very fond of pretending to be two people. 'But it's no use now,' thought poor Alice,

  • 'to pretend to be two people! Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable

  • person!'

  • Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: she opened it,

  • and found in it a very small cake, on which the words 'EAT ME' were beautifully marked

  • in currants. 'Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, 'and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach

  • the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so either way

  • I'll get into the garden, and I don't care which happens!'

  • She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, 'Which way? Which way?', holding

  • her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised

  • to find that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally happens when one eats

  • cake, but Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out of the way things

  • to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way.

  • So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.

  • End of Chapter 1

  • CHAPTER 2 The Pool of Tears

  • 'Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the moment

  • she quite forgot how to speak good English); 'now I'm opening out like the largest telescope

  • that ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to

  • be almost out of sight, they were getting so far off). 'Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder

  • who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure I shan't be able!

  • I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself about you: you must manage the best

  • way you can; but I must be kind to them,' thought Alice, 'or perhaps they won't walk

  • the way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of boots every Christmas.'

  • And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. 'They must go by the carrier,'

  • she thought; 'and how funny it'll seem, sending presents to one's own feet! And how odd the

  • directions will look!

  • ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ. HEARTHRUG,

  • NEAR THE FENDER, (WITH ALICE'S LOVE).

  • Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'

  • Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact she was now more than

  • nine feet high, and she at once took up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden

  • door.

  • Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side, to look through into

  • the garden with one eye; but to get through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down

  • and began to cry again.

  • 'You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, 'a great girl like you,' (she might

  • well say this), 'to go on crying in this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!' But she went

  • on all the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool all round her,

  • about four inches deep and reaching half down the hall.

  • After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance, and she hastily dried

  • her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed,

  • with a pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the other: he came trotting

  • along in a great hurry, muttering to himself as he came, 'Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess!

  • Oh! won't she be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so desperate that she was ready

  • to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit came near her, she began, in a low, timid

  • voice, 'If you please, sir ' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid gloves and

  • the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he could go.

  • Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she kept fanning herself

  • all the time she went on talking: 'Dear, dear! How queer everything is today! And yesterday

  • things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think:

  • was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little

  • different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in the world am I? Ah, THAT'S

  • the great puzzle!' And she began thinking over all the children she knew that were of

  • the same age as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of them.

  • 'I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, 'for her hair goes in such long ringlets, and mine

  • doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of

  • things, and she, oh! she knows such a very little! Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I, and

  • oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I know all the things I used to know. Let

  • me see: four times five is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven

  • is oh dear! I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However, the Multiplication Table

  • doesn't signify: let's try Geography. London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the

  • capital of Rome, and Rome no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been changed for

  • Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little "' and she crossed her hands on her lap as

  • if she were saying lessons, and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and strange,

  • and the words did not come the same as they used to do:

  • 'How doth the little crocodile Improve his shining tail,

  • And pour the waters of the Nile On every golden scale!

  • 'How cheerfully he seems to grin, How neatly spread his claws,

  • And welcome little fishes in With gently smiling jaws!'

  • 'I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and her eyes filled with

  • tears again as she went on, 'I must be Mabel after all, and I shall have to go and live

  • in that poky little house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so many

  • lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here!

  • It'll be no use their putting their heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall

  • only look up and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, if I like being that

  • person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down here till I'm somebody else" but, oh dear!'

  • cried Alice, with a sudden burst of tears, 'I do wish they WOULD put their heads down!

  • I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!'

  • As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was surprised to see that she had put

  • on one of the Rabbit's little white kid gloves while she was talking. 'How CAN I have done

  • that?' she thought. 'I must be growing small again.' She got up and went to the table to

  • measure herself by it, and found that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now about

  • two feet high, and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that the cause

  • of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it hastily, just in time to avoid

  • shrinking away altogether.

  • 'That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at the sudden change,

  • but very glad to find herself still in existence; 'and now for the garden!' and she ran with

  • all speed back to the little door: but, alas! the little door was shut again, and the little

  • golden key was lying on the glass table as before, 'and things are worse than ever,'

  • thought the poor child, 'for I never was so small as this before, never! And I declare

  • it's too bad, that it is!'

  • As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment, splash! she was up

  • to her chin in salt water. Her first idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea,

  • 'and in that case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had been to the

  • seaside once in her life, and had come to the general conclusion, that wherever you

  • go to on the English coast you find a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children

  • digging in the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and behind them a

  • railway station.) However, she soon made out that she was in the pool of tears which she

  • had wept when she was nine feet high.

  • 'I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about, trying to find her way

  • out. 'I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by being drowned in my own tears! That WILL

  • be a queer thing, to be sure! However, everything is queer today.'

  • Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way off, and she swam

  • nearer to make out what it was: at first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus,

  • but then she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that it was only

  • a mouse that had slipped in like herself.

  • 'Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, 'to speak to this mouse? Everything is so

  • out-of-the-way down here, that I should think very likely it can talk: at any rate, there's

  • no harm in trying.' So she began: 'O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I am

  • very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!' (Alice thought this must be the right way

  • of speaking to a mouse: she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having

  • seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, 'A mouse of a mouse to a mouse a mouse O mouse!') The

  • Mouse looked at her rather inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its

  • little eyes, but it said nothing.

  • 'Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; 'I daresay it's a French mouse, come

  • over with William the Conqueror.' (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had no

  • very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.) So she began again: 'Ou est ma

  • chatte?' which was the first sentence in her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden

  • leap out of the water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. 'Oh, I beg your pardon!'

  • cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor animal's feelings. 'I quite forgot

  • you didn't like cats.'

  • 'Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice. 'Would YOU like cats if

  • you were me?'

  • 'Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: 'don't be angry about it. And yet I

  • wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only

  • see her. She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself, as she swam

  • lazily about in the pool, 'and she sits purring so nicely by the fire, licking her paws and

  • washing her face and she is such a nice soft thing to nurse and she's such a capital one

  • for catching mice oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again, for this time the Mouse

  • was bristling all over, and she felt certain it must be really offended. 'We won't talk

  • about her any more if you'd rather not.'

  • 'We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end of his tail. 'As if I would

  • talk on such a subject! Our family always HATED cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't

  • let me hear the name again!'

  • 'I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the subject of conversation. 'Are

  • you are you fond of of dogs?' The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: 'There

  • is such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you! A little bright-eyed

  • terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you

  • throw them, and it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things I can't remember

  • half of them and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth

  • a hundred pounds! He says it kills all the rats and oh dear!' cried Alice in a sorrowful

  • tone, 'I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the Mouse was swimming away from her as

  • hard as it could go, and making quite a commotion in the pool as it went.

  • So she called softly after it, 'Mouse dear! Do come back again, and we won't talk about

  • cats or dogs either, if you don't like them!' When the Mouse heard this, it turned round

  • and swam slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice thought),

  • and it said in a low trembling voice, 'Let us get to the shore, and then I'll tell you

  • my history, and you'll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.'

  • It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded with the birds and animals that

  • had fallen into it: there were a Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several

  • other curious creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the shore.

  • End of Chapter 2

  • Chapter 3 A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale

  • They were indeed a queer looking party that assembled on the bank the birds with draggled

  • feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross,

  • and uncomfortable.

  • The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a consultation about this,

  • and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly

  • with them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument

  • with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say, 'I am older than you, and

  • must know better'; and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was, and,

  • as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no more to be said.

  • At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them, called out, 'Sit

  • down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at

  • once, in a large ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed

  • on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.

  • 'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? This is the driest thing

  • I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured

  • by the pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been

  • of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia

  • and Northumbria "'

  • 'Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.

  • 'I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely: 'Did you speak?'

  • 'Not I!' said the Lory hastily.

  • 'I thought you did,' said the Mouse. ' I proceed. "Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and

  • Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found

  • it advisable "'

  • 'Found WHAT?' said the Duck.

  • 'Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: 'of course you know what "it" means.'

  • 'I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said the Duck: 'it's generally

  • a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the archbishop find?'

  • The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, '" found it advisable to

  • go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the crown. William's conduct at

  • first was moderate. But the insolence of his Normans " How are you getting on now, my dear?'

  • it continued, turning to Alice as it spoke.

  • 'As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: 'it doesn't seem to dry me at all.'

  • 'In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, 'I move that the meeting adjourn,

  • for the immediate adoption of more energetic remedies '

  • 'Speak English!' said the Eaglet. 'I don't know the meaning of half those long words,

  • and, what's more, I don't believe you do either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide

  • a smile: some of the other birds tittered audibly.

  • 'What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, 'was, that the best thing

  • to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.'

  • 'What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much to know, but the Dodo had

  • paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined

  • to say anything.

  • 'Why,' said the Dodo, 'the best way to explain it is to do it.' (And, as you might like to

  • try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)

  • First it marked out a race course, in a sort of circle, ('the exact shape doesn't matter,'

  • it said,) and then all the party were placed along the course, here and there. There was

  • no 'One, two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked, and left off when

  • they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However, when they

  • had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called

  • out 'The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting, and asking, 'But who has

  • won?'

  • This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought, and it sat for a

  • long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead (the position in which you usually

  • see Shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last

  • the Dodo said, 'EVERYBODY has won, and all must have prizes.'

  • 'But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices asked.

  • 'Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one finger; and the whole party

  • at once crowded round her, calling out in a confused way, 'Prizes! Prizes!'

  • Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her pocket, and pulled

  • out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt water had not got into it), and handed them round

  • as prizes. There was exactly one a piece all round.

  • 'But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse.

  • 'Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. 'What else have you got in your pocket?' he

  • went on, turning to Alice.

  • 'Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.

  • 'Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.

  • Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo solemnly presented the thimble,

  • saying 'We beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short

  • speech, they all cheered.

  • Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave that she did

  • not dare to laugh; and, as she could not think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and

  • took the thimble, looking as solemn as she could.

  • The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise and confusion, as the large

  • birds complained that they could not taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had

  • to be patted on the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down again in a

  • ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.

  • 'You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice, 'and why it is you hate

  • C and D,' she added in a whisper, half afraid that it would be offended again.

  • 'Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to Alice, and sighing.

  • 'It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with wonder at the Mouse's tail;

  • 'but why do you call it sad?' And she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking,

  • so that her idea of the tale was something like this:

  • 'Fury said to a mouse, That he

  • met in the house,

  • "Let us both go to

  • law: I will prosecute

  • YOU. Come, I'll take no

  • denial; We must have a

  • trial: For really this

  • morning I've nothing

  • to do." Said the

  • mouse to the cur, "Such

  • a trial, dear Sir,

  • With no jury

  • or judge, would be

  • wasting our

  • breath." "I'll be

  • judge, I'll be jury,"

  • Said cunning

  • old Fury: "I'll

  • try the whole

  • cause, and

  • condemn you

  • to death."'

  • 'You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely. 'What are you thinking of?'

  • 'I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: 'you had got to the fifth bend, I think?'

  • 'I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.

  • 'A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking anxiously about

  • her. 'Oh, do let me help to undo it!'

  • 'I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up and walking away. 'You insult

  • me by talking such nonsense!'

  • 'I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. 'But you're so easily offended, you know!'

  • The Mouse only growled in reply.

  • 'Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after it; and the others all

  • joined in chorus, 'Yes, please do!' but the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and

  • walked a little quicker.

  • 'What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it was quite out of sight;

  • and an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to her daughter 'Ah, my dear! Let this be

  • a lesson to you never to lose YOUR temper!' 'Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the young Crab,

  • a little snappishly. 'You're enough to try the patience of an oyster!'

  • 'I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud, addressing nobody in particular.

  • 'She'd soon fetch it back!'

  • 'And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?' said the Lory.

  • Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her pet: 'Dinah's our

  • cat. And she's such a capital one for catching mice you can't think! And oh, I wish you could

  • see her after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!'

  • This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. Some of the birds hurried

  • off at once: one old Magpie began wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, 'I really

  • must be getting home; the night air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary called out in

  • a trembling voice to its children, 'Come away, my dears! It's high time you were all in bed!'

  • On various pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.

  • 'I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a melancholy tone. 'Nobody seems

  • to like her, down here, and I'm sure she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah!

  • I wonder if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice began to cry again, for

  • she felt very lonely and low spirited. In a little while, however, she again heard a

  • little pattering of footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that

  • the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to finish his story.

  • End of Chapter

  • Chapter 4 The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill

  • It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking anxiously about as it went,

  • as if it had lost something; and she heard it muttering to itself 'The Duchess! The Duchess!

  • Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets!

  • Where CAN I have dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking

  • for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she very good naturedly began hunting

  • about for them, but they were nowhere to be seen everything seemed to have changed since

  • her swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and the little door,

  • had vanished completely.

  • Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, and called out to her

  • in an angry tone, 'Why, Mary Ann, what ARE you doing out here? Run home this moment,

  • and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan! Quick, now!' And Alice was so much frightened that

  • she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, without trying to explain the mistake

  • it had made.

  • 'He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran. 'How surprised he'll be

  • when he finds out who I am! But I'd better take him his fan and gloves that is, if I

  • can find them.' As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door of which

  • was a bright brass plate with the name 'W. RABBIT' engraved upon it. She went in without

  • knocking, and hurried upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann, and

  • be turned out of the house before she had found the fan and gloves.

  • 'How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, 'to be going messages for a rabbit! I suppose

  • Dinah'll be sending me on messages next!' And she began fancying the sort of thing that

  • would happen: '"Miss Alice! Come here directly, and get ready for your walk!" "Coming in a

  • minute, nurse! But I've got to see that the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't think,'

  • Alice went on, 'that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering people about

  • like that!'

  • By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a table in the window,

  • and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she

  • took up the fan and a pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when

  • her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking glass. There was no label

  • this time with the words 'DRINK ME,' but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips. 'I

  • know SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself, 'whenever I eat or drink

  • anything; so I'll just see what this bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow large again,

  • for really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!'

  • It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: before she had drunk half the

  • bottle, she found her head pressing against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her

  • neck from being broken. She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself 'That's quite

  • enough. I hope I shan't grow any more. As it is, I can't get out at the door. I do wish

  • I hadn't drunk quite so much!'

  • Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and growing, and very soon had

  • to kneel down on the floor: in another minute there was not even room for this, and she

  • tried the effect of lying down with one elbow against the door, and the other arm curled

  • round her head. Still she went on growing, and, as a last resource, she put one arm out

  • of the window, and one foot up the chimney, and said to herself 'Now I can do no more,

  • whatever happens. What WILL become of me?'

  • Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect, and she grew

  • no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, and, as there seemed to be no sort of chance

  • of her ever getting out of the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy.

  • 'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't always growing

  • larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't

  • gone down that rabbit-hole and yet and yet it's rather curious, you know, this sort of

  • life! I do wonder what CAN have happened to me! When I used to read fairy tales, I fancied

  • that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There ought

  • to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when I grow up, I'll write one

  • but I'm grown up now,' she added in a sorrowful tone; 'at least there's no room to grow up

  • any more HERE.'

  • 'But then,' thought Alice, 'shall I NEVER get any older than I am now? That'll be a

  • comfort, one way never to be an old woman but then always to have lessons to learn!

  • Oh, I shouldn't like THAT!'

  • 'Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. 'How can you learn lessons in here? Why, there's

  • hardly room for YOU, and no room at all for any lesson books!'

  • And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and making quite a conversation

  • of it altogether; but after a few minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to

  • listen.

  • 'Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. 'Fetch me my gloves this moment!' Then came a little

  • pattering of feet on the stairs. Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her,

  • and she trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she was now about a

  • thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid of it.

  • Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; but, as the door opened

  • inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed hard against it, that attempt proved a failure.

  • Alice heard it say to itself 'Then I'll go round and get in at the window.'

  • 'THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she fancied she heard the Rabbit

  • just under the window, she suddenly spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air.

  • She did not get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a fall, and a crash

  • of broken glass, from which she concluded that it was just possible it had fallen into

  • a cucumber frame, or something of the sort.

  • Next came an angry voice the Rabbit's. 'Pat! Pat! Where are you?' And then a voice she

  • had never heard before, 'Sure then I'm here! Digging for apples, yer honour!'

  • 'Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. 'Here! Come and help me out of THIS!'

  • (Sounds of more broken glass.)

  • 'Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?'

  • 'Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it 'arrum.')

  • 'An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills the whole window!'

  • 'Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.'

  • 'Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it away!'

  • There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers now and then; such

  • as, 'Sure, I don't like it, yer honour, at all, at all!' 'Do as I tell you, you coward!'

  • and at last she spread out her hand again, and made another snatch in the air. This time

  • there were TWO little shrieks, and more sounds of broken glass. 'What a number of cucumber

  • frames there must be!' thought Alice. 'I wonder what they'll do next! As for pulling me out

  • of the window, I only wish they COULD! I'm sure I don't want to stay in here any longer!'

  • She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at last came a rumbling of little cartwheels,

  • and the sound of a good many voices all talking together: she made out the words: 'Where's

  • the other ladder? Why, I hadn't to bring but one; Bill's got the other Bill! fetch it here,

  • lad! Here, put 'em up at this corner. No, tie 'em together first they don't reach half

  • high enough yet . Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be particular . Here, Bill! catch hold

  • of this rope . Will the roof bear? Mind that loose slate. Oh, it's coming down! Heads below!'

  • (a loud crash) 'Now, who did that?. It was Bill, I fancy Who's to go down the chimney?

  • Nay, I shan't! YOU do it! That I won't, then! Bill's to go down. Here, Bill! the master

  • says you're to go down the chimney!'

  • 'Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said Alice to herself. 'Shy, they

  • seem to put everything upon Bill! I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace

  • is narrow, to be sure; but I THINK I can kick a little!'

  • She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and waited till she heard a

  • little animal (she couldn't guess of what sort it was) scratching and scrambling about

  • in the chimney close above her: then, saying to herself 'This is Bill,' she gave one sharp

  • kick, and waited to see what would happen next.

  • The first thing she heard was a general chorus of 'There goes Bill!' then the Rabbit's voice

  • along. 'Catch him, you by the hedge!' then silence, and then another confusion of voices.

  • 'Hold up his head. Brandy now. Don't choke him. How was it, old fellow? What happened

  • to you? Tell us all about it!'

  • Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, ('That's Bill,' thought Alice,) 'Well, I hardly

  • know. No more, thank ye; I'm better now but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you all I

  • know is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky rocket!'

  • 'So you did, old fellow!' said the others.

  • 'We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and Alice called out as loud as she

  • could, 'If you do. I'll set Dinah at you!'

  • There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself, 'I wonder what they WILL

  • do next! If they had any sense, they'd take the roof off.' After a minute or two, they

  • began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, 'A barrowful will do, to begin

  • with.'

  • 'A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to doubt, for the next moment

  • a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the window, and some of them hit her in

  • the face. 'I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, and shouted out, 'You'd better

  • not do that again!' which produced another dead silence.

  • Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into little cakes

  • as they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came into her head. 'If I eat one of these

  • cakes,' she thought, 'it's sure to make SOME change in my size; and as it can't possibly

  • make me larger, it must make me smaller, I suppose.'

  • So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that she began shrinking

  • directly. As soon as she was small enough to get through the door, she ran out of the

  • house, and found quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside. The poor little

  • Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by two guinea pigs, who were giving it

  • something out of a bottle. They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but

  • she ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in a thick wood.

  • 'The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she wandered about in the wood,

  • 'is to grow to my right size again; and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely

  • garden. I think that will be the best plan.'

  • It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply arranged; the only

  • difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea how to set about it; and while she was

  • peering about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark just over her head made

  • her look up in a great hurry.

  • An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes, and feebly stretching

  • out one paw, trying to touch her. 'Poor little thing!' said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and

  • she tried hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly frightened all the time at the thought

  • that it might be hungry, in which case it would be very likely to eat her up in spite

  • of all her coaxing.

  • Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of stick, and held it out to

  • the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off all its feet at once, with a yelp

  • of delight, and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alice dodged behind

  • a great thistle, to keep herself from being run over; and the moment she appeared on the

  • other side, the puppy made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in

  • its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very like having a game of play with

  • a carthorse, and expecting every moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the

  • thistle again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the stick, running a very

  • little way forwards each time and a long way back, and barking hoarsely all the while,

  • till at last it sat down a good way off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its mouth,

  • and its great eyes half shut.

  • This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; so she set off at once,

  • and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath, and till the puppy's bark sounded

  • quite faint in the distance.

  • 'And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she leant against a buttercup

  • to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the leaves: 'I should have liked teaching

  • it tricks very much, if if I'd only been the right size to do it! Oh dear! I'd nearly forgotten

  • that I've got to grow up again! Let me see how IS it to be managed? I suppose I ought

  • to eat or drink something or other; but the great question is, what?'

  • The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round her at the flowers and the

  • blades of grass, but she did not see anything that looked like the right thing to eat or

  • drink under the circumstances. There was a large mushroom growing near her, about the

  • same height as herself; and when she had looked under it, and on both sides of it, and behind

  • it, it occurred to her that she might as well look and see what was on the top of it.

  • She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the mushroom, and her eyes

  • immediately met those of a large caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms

  • folded, quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice of her or of

  • anything else.

  • End of Chapter

  • Chapter 5 Advice from a Caterpillar

  • The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last the Caterpillar

  • took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.

  • 'Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar.

  • This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly,

  • 'I I hardly know, sir, just at present at least I know who I WAS when I got up this

  • morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'

  • 'What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. 'Explain yourself!'

  • 'I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, 'because I'm not myself, you see.'

  • 'I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.

  • 'I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very politely, 'for I can't

  • understand it myself to begin with; and being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.'

  • 'It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.

  • 'Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; 'but when you have to turn into

  • a chrysalis you will some day, you know and then after that into a butterfly, I should

  • think you'll feel it a little queer, won't you?'

  • 'Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.

  • 'Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; 'all I know is, it would feel

  • very queer to ME.'

  • 'You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. 'Who are YOU?'

  • Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation. Alice felt a little irritated

  • at the Caterpillar's making such VERY short remarks, and she drew herself up and said,

  • very gravely, 'I think, you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.'

  • 'Why?' said the Caterpillar.

  • Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not think of any good reason,

  • and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned away.

  • 'Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. 'I've something important to say!'

  • This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again.

  • 'Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.

  • 'Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she could.

  • 'No,' said the Caterpillar.

  • Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and perhaps after

  • all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking,

  • but at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, 'So

  • you think you're changed, do you?'

  • 'I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; 'I can't remember things as I used and I don't keep

  • the same size for ten minutes together!'

  • 'Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar.

  • 'Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it all came different!' Alice

  • replied in a very melancholy voice.

  • 'Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar.

  • Alice folded her hands, and began:

  • 'You are old, Father William,' the young man said,

  • 'And your hair has become very white; And yet you incessantly stand on your head

  • Do you think, at your age, it is right?'

  • 'In my youth,' Father William replied to his son,

  • 'I feared it might injure the brain; But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,

  • Why, I do it again and again.'

  • 'You are old,' said the youth, 'as I mentioned before,

  • And have grown most uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a back somersault in at the

  • door Pray, what is the reason of that?'

  • 'In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,

  • 'I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this ointment one shilling the

  • box Allow me to sell you a couple?'

  • 'You are old,' said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak

  • For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with the bones

  • and the beak Pray how did you manage to do it?'

  • 'In my youth,' said his father, 'I took to the law,

  • And argued each case with my wife; And the muscular strength, which it gave to

  • my jaw, Has lasted the rest of my life.'

  • 'You are old,' said the youth, 'one would hardly suppose

  • That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your

  • nose What made you so awfully clever?'

  • 'I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'

  • Said his father; 'don't give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen all day to such

  • stuff? Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'

  • 'That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.

  • 'Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words have got altered.'

  • 'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and there was silence

  • for some minutes.

  • The Caterpillar was the first to speak.

  • 'What size do you want to be?' it asked.

  • 'Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied; 'only one doesn't like changing

  • so often, you know.'

  • 'I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar.

  • Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life before, and

  • she felt that she was losing her temper.

  • 'Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar.

  • 'Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you wouldn't mind,' said Alice: 'three

  • inches is such a wretched height to be.'

  • 'It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing itself upright

  • as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high).

  • 'But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. And she thought of herself,

  • 'I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily offended!'

  • 'You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it put the hookah into its

  • mouth and began smoking again.

  • This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In a minute or two the

  • Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself.

  • Then it got down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely remarking as it

  • went, 'One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter.'

  • 'One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to herself.

  • 'Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it aloud; and in another

  • moment it was out of sight.

  • Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying to make out

  • which were the two sides of it; and as it was perfectly round, she found this a very

  • difficult question. However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they would go,

  • and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand.

  • 'And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a little of the right hand bit

  • to try the effect: the next moment she felt a violent blow underneath her chin: it had

  • struck her foot!

  • She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt that there was

  • no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of

  • the other bit. Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was hardly room

  • to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand

  • bit.

  • 'Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of delight, which changed into alarm

  • in another moment, when she found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she

  • could see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise like

  • a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay far below her.

  • 'What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. 'And where HAVE my shoulders got to? And oh,

  • my poor hands, how is it I can't see you?' She was moving them about as she spoke, but

  • no result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the distant green leaves.

  • As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, she tried to get

  • her head down to them, and was delighted to find that her neck would bend about easily

  • in any direction, like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful

  • zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which she found to be nothing but

  • the tops of the trees under which she had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her

  • draw back in a hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating her violently

  • with its wings.

  • 'Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon.

  • 'I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. 'Let me alone!'

  • 'Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more subdued tone, and added with

  • a kind of sob, 'I've tried every way, and nothing seems to suit them!'

  • 'I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said Alice.

  • 'I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've tried hedges,' the Pigeon

  • went on, without attending to her; 'but those serpents! There's no pleasing them!'

  • Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in saying anything more till

  • the Pigeon had finished.

  • 'As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the Pigeon; 'but I must be on

  • the look out for serpents night and day! Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these three

  • weeks!'

  • 'I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was beginning to see its meaning.

  • 'And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued the Pigeon, raising its

  • voice to a shriek, 'and just as I was thinking I should be free of them at last, they must

  • needs come wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!'

  • 'But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. 'I'm a I'm a'

  • 'Well! WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. 'I can see you're trying to invent something!'

  • 'I I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she remembered the number of

  • changes she had gone through that day.

  • 'A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest contempt. 'I've seen

  • a good many little girls in my time, but never ONE with such a neck as that! No, no! You're

  • a serpent; and there's no use denying it. I suppose you'll be telling me next that you

  • never tasted an egg!'

  • 'I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very truthful child; 'but little

  • girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you know.'

  • 'I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; 'but if they do, why then they're a kind of serpent,

  • that's all I can say.'

  • This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a minute or two, which

  • gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, 'You're looking for eggs, I know THAT well

  • enough; and what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or a serpent?'

  • 'It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; 'but I'm not looking for eggs, as

  • it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't want YOURS: I don't like them raw.'

  • 'Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it settled down again into

  • its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting

  • entangled among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and untwist it. After

  • a while she remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she

  • set to work very carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and growing

  • sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had succeeded in bringing herself down

  • to her usual height.

  • It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, that it felt quite strange

  • at first; but she got used to it in a few minutes, and began talking to herself, as

  • usual. 'Come, there's half my plan done now! How puzzling all these changes are! I'm never

  • sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to another! However, I've got back to my right

  • size: the next thing is, to get into that beautiful garden how IS that to be done, I

  • wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an open place, with a little house in

  • it about four feet high. 'Whoever lives there,' thought Alice, 'it'll never do to come upon

  • them THIS size: why, I should frighten them out of their wits!' So she began nibbling

  • at the righthand bit again, and did not venture to go near the house till she had brought

  • herself down to nine inches high.

  • End of Chapter

  • Chapter 6 Pig and Pepper

  • For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and wondering what to do next, when

  • suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the wood (she considered him to be

  • a footman because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by his face only, she would have called

  • him a fish) and rapped loudly at the door with his knuckles. It was opened by another

  • footman in livery, with a round face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen,

  • Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their heads. She felt very curious

  • to know what it was all about, and crept a little way out of the wood to listen.

  • The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter, nearly as large as

  • himself, and this he handed over to the other, saying, in a solemn tone, 'For the Duchess.

  • An invitation from the Queen to play croquet.' The Frog-Footman repeated, in the same solemn

  • tone, only changing the order of the words a little, 'From the Queen. An invitation for

  • the Duchess to play croquet.'

  • Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together.

  • Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into the wood for fear of their

  • hearing her; and when she next peeped out the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was

  • sitting on the ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky.

  • Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.

  • 'There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, 'and that for two reasons. First,

  • because I'm on the same side of the door as you are; secondly, because they're making

  • such a noise inside, no one could possibly hear you.' And certainly there was a most

  • extraordinary noise going on within a constant howling and sneezing, and every now and then

  • a great crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken to pieces.

  • 'Please, then,' said Alice, 'how am I to get in?'

  • 'There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went on without attending to her,

  • 'if we had the door between us. For instance, if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I

  • could let you out, you know.' He was looking up into the sky all the time he was speaking,

  • and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. 'But perhaps he can't help it,' she said to

  • herself; 'his eyes are so VERY nearly at the top of his head. But at any rate he might

  • answer questions. How am I to get in?' she repeated, aloud.

  • 'I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, 'till tomorrow'

  • At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate came skimming out, straight

  • at the Footman's head: it just grazed his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the

  • trees behind him.

  • 'or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone, exactly as if nothing had

  • happened.

  • 'How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone.

  • 'ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman. 'That's the first question, you know.'

  • It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. 'It's really dreadful,' she

  • muttered to herself, 'the way all the creatures argue. It's enough to drive one crazy!'

  • The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his remark, with variations.

  • 'I shall sit here,' he said, 'on and off, for days and days.'

  • 'But what am I to do?' said Alice.

  • 'Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling.

  • 'Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: 'he's perfectly idiotic!'

  • And she opened the door and went in.

  • The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from one end to the other:

  • the Duchess was sitting on a three legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook

  • was leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to be full of soup.

  • 'There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to herself, as well as she

  • could for sneezing.

  • There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess sneezed occasionally;

  • and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling alternately without a moment's pause. The

  • only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook, and a large cat which was sitting

  • on the hearth and grinning from ear to ear.

  • 'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was not quite sure

  • whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why your cat grins like that?'

  • 'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!'

  • She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite jumped; but she saw in another

  • moment that it was addressed to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went

  • on again:

  • 'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know that cats COULD grin.'

  • 'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.'

  • 'I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely, feeling quite pleased to have

  • got into a conversation.

  • 'You don't know much,' said the Duchess; 'and that's a fact.'

  • Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it would be as well to

  • introduce some other subject of conversation. While she was trying to fix on one, the cook

  • took the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within

  • her reach at the Duchess and the baby the fire irons came first; then followed a shower

  • of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them even when they hit

  • her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it was quite impossible to say whether

  • the blows hurt it or not.

  • 'Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up and down in an agony of

  • terror. 'Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS nose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close

  • by it, and very nearly carried it off.

  • 'If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a hoarse growl, 'the world

  • would go round a deal faster than it does.'

  • 'Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very glad to get an opportunity of

  • showing off a little of her knowledge. 'Just think of what work it would make with the

  • day and night! You see the earth takes twenty four hours to turn round on its axis'

  • 'Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, 'chop off her head!'

  • Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant to take the hint; but

  • the cook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed not to be listening, so she went on

  • again: 'Twenty four hours, I THINK; or is it twelve? I'

  • 'Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; 'I never could abide figures!' And with that

  • she began nursing her child again, singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and

  • giving it a violent shake at the end of every line:

  • 'Speak roughly to your little boy, And beat him when he sneezes:

  • He only does it to annoy, Because he knows it teases.'

  • CHORUS.

  • (In which the cook and the baby joined):

  • 'Wow! wow! wow!'

  • While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept tossing the baby violently

  • up and down, and the poor little thing howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:

  • 'I speak severely to my boy, I beat him when he sneezes;

  • For he can thoroughly enjoy The pepper when he pleases!'

  • CHORUS.

  • 'Wow! wow! wow!'

  • 'Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said to Alice, flinging the baby

  • at her as she spoke. 'I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried

  • out of the room. The cook threw a frying pan after her as she went out, but it just missed

  • her.

  • Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer shaped little creature,

  • and held out its arms and legs in all directions, 'just like a star fish,' thought Alice. The

  • poor little thing was snorting like a steam engine when she caught it, and kept doubling

  • itself up and straightening itself out again, so that altogether, for the first minute or

  • two, it was as much as she could do to hold it.

  • As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, (which was to twist it up into

  • a sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent

  • its undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air. 'IF I don't take this child

  • away with me,' thought Alice, 'they're sure to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be

  • murder to leave it behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the little thing grunted

  • in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). 'Don't grunt,' said Alice; 'that's

  • not at all a proper way of expressing yourself.'

  • The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face to see what was the

  • matter with it. There could be no doubt that it had a VERY turn up nose, much more like

  • a snout than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small for a baby: altogether

  • Alice did not like the look of the thing at all. 'But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she

  • thought, and looked into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears.

  • No, there were no tears. 'If you're going to turn into a pig, my dear,' said Alice,

  • seriously, 'I'll have nothing more to do with you. Mind now!' The poor little thing sobbed

  • again (or grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for some while in

  • silence.

  • Alice was just beginning to think to herself, 'Now, what am I to do with this creature when

  • I get it home?' when it grunted again, so violently, that she looked down into its face

  • in some alarm. This time there could be NO mistake about it: it was neither more nor

  • less than a pig, and she felt that it would be quite absurd for her to carry it further.

  • So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see it trot away quietly

  • into the wood. 'If it had grown up,' she said to herself, 'it would have made a dreadfully

  • ugly child: but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began thinking over

  • other children she knew, who might do very well as pigs, and was just saying to herself,

  • 'if one only knew the right way to change them' when she was a little startled by seeing

  • the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off.

  • The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good natured, she thought: still it

  • had VERY long claws and a great many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with

  • respect.

  • 'Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know whether it would

  • like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. 'Come, it's pleased so far,'

  • thought Alice, and she went on. 'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from

  • here?'

  • 'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.

  • 'I don't much care where' said Alice.

  • 'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.

  • 'so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation.

  • 'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long enough.'

  • Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. 'What sort

  • of people live about here?'

  • 'In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, 'lives a Hatter: and

  • in THAT direction,' waving the other paw, 'lives a March Hare. Visit either you like:

  • they're both mad.'

  • 'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.

  • 'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'

  • 'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.

  • 'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.'

  • Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on 'And how do you know

  • that you're mad?'

  • 'To begin with,' said the Cat, 'a dog's not mad. You grant that?'

  • 'I suppose so,' said Alice.

  • 'Well, then,' the Cat went on, 'you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail

  • when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore

  • I'm mad.'

  • 'I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice.

  • 'Call it what you like,' said the Cat. 'Do you play croquet with the Queen to day?'

  • 'I should like it very much,' said Alice, 'but I haven't been invited yet.'

  • 'You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished.

  • Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used to queer things happening.

  • While she was looking at the place where it had been, it suddenly appeared again.

  • 'By the bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. 'I'd nearly forgotten to ask.'

  • 'It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had come back in a natural way.

  • 'I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again.

  • Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it did not appear, and after

  • a minute or two she walked on in the direction in which the March Hare was said to live.

  • 'I've seen hatters before,' she said to herself; 'the March Hare will be much the most interesting,

  • and perhaps as this is May it won't be raving mad at least not so mad as it was in March.'

  • As she said this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a branch of

  • a tree.

  • 'Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat.

  • 'I said pig,' replied Alice; 'and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly:

  • you make one quite giddy.'

  • 'All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the

  • end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of

  • it had gone.

  • 'Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice; 'but a grin without a cat!

  • It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!'

  • She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the house of the March Hare: she

  • thought it must be the right house, because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the

  • roof was thatched with fur. It was so large a house, that she did not like to go nearer

  • till she had nibbled some more of the lefthand bit of mushroom, and raised herself to about

  • two feet high: even then she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself 'Suppose

  • it should be raving mad after all! I almost wish I'd gone to see the Hatter instead!'

  • End of Chapter

  • Chapter 7 A Mad Tea-Party

  • There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the March Hare and

  • the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and

  • the other two were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over

  • its head. 'Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' thought Alice; 'only, as it's asleep, I suppose

  • it doesn't mind.'

  • The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it:

  • 'No room! No room!' they cried out when they saw Alice coming. 'There's PLENTY of room!'

  • said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large armchair at one end of the table.

  • 'Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.

  • Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. 'I don't see any

  • wine,' she remarked.

  • 'There isn't any,' said the March Hare.

  • 'Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice angrily.

  • 'It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited,' said the March Hare.

  • 'I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; 'it's laid for a great many more than three.'

  • 'Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice for some time

  • with great curiosity, and this was his first speech.

  • 'You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said with some severity; 'it's very

  • rude.'

  • The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he SAID was, 'Why is a raven

  • like a writing desk?'

  • 'Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. 'I'm glad they've begun asking riddles.

  • I believe I can guess that,' she added aloud.

  • 'Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?' said the March Hare.

  • 'Exactly so,' said Alice.

  • 'Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on.

  • 'I do,' Alice hastily replied; 'at least at least I mean what I say that's the same thing,

  • you know.'

  • 'Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. 'You might just as well say that "I see what

  • I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!'

  • 'You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, 'that "I like what I get" is the same

  • thing as "I get what I like"!'

  • 'You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, 'that

  • "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!'

  • 'It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the conversation dropped,

  • and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice thought over all she could remember

  • about ravens and writing desks, which wasn't much.

  • The Hatter was the first to break the silence. 'What day of the month is it?' he said, turning

  • to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking

  • it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.

  • Alice considered a little, and then said 'The fourth.'

  • 'Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. 'I told you butter wouldn't suit the works!' he added

  • looking angrily at the March Hare.

  • 'It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied.

  • 'Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter grumbled: 'you shouldn't

  • have put it in with the bread knife.'

  • The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup

  • of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of nothing better to say than his first

  • remark, 'It was the BEST butter, you know.'

  • Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. 'What a funny watch!' she

  • remarked. 'It tells the day of the month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!'

  • 'Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. 'Does YOUR watch tell you what year it is?'

  • 'Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: 'but that's because it stays the same year

  • for such a long time together.'

  • 'Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter.

  • Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to have no sort of meaning in

  • it, and yet it was certainly English. 'I don't quite understand you,' she said, as politely

  • as she could.

  • 'The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon its nose.

  • The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its eyes, 'Of course,

  • of course; just what I was going to remark myself.'

  • 'Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.

  • 'No, I give it up,' Alice replied: 'what's the answer?'

  • 'I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter.

  • 'Nor I,' said the March Hare.

  • Alice sighed wearily. 'I think you might do something better with the time,' she said,

  • 'than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.'

  • 'If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, 'you wouldn't talk about wasting IT.

  • It's HIM.'

  • 'I don't know what you mean,' said Alice.

  • 'Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously. 'I dare say you never

  • even spoke to Time!'

  • 'Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: 'but I know I have to beat time when I learn music.'

  • 'Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. 'He won't stand beating. Now, if you only

  • kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance,

  • suppose it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: you'd only have

  • to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half past one, time

  • for dinner!'

  • ('I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.)

  • 'That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully: 'but then I shouldn't be hungry

  • for it, you know.'

  • 'Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: 'but you could keep it to half past one as

  • long as you liked.'

  • 'Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked.

  • The Hatter shook his head mournfully. 'Not I!' he replied. 'We quarrelled last March

  • just before HE went mad, you know' (pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) 'it

  • was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing

  • "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! How I wonder what you're at!"

  • You know the song, perhaps?'

  • 'I've heard something like it,' said Alice.

  • 'It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, 'in this way:

  • "Up above the world you fly, Like a tea tray in the sky.

  • Twinkle, twinkle"'

  • Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep 'Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle,

  • twinkle' and went on so long that they had to pinch it to make it stop.

  • 'Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter, 'when the Queen jumped up

  • and bawled out, "He's murdering the time! Off with his head!"'

  • 'How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice.

  • 'And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, 'he won't do a thing I

  • ask! It's always six o'clock now.'

  • A bright idea came into Alice's head. 'Is that the reason so many tea things are put

  • out here?' she asked.

  • 'Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: 'it's always tea time, and we've no time to

  • wash the things between whiles.'

  • 'Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice.

  • 'Exactly so,' said the Hatter: 'as the things get used up.'

  • 'But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice ventured to ask.

  • 'Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted, yawning. 'I'm getting tired

  • of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.'

  • 'I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at the proposal.

  • 'Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. 'Wake up, Dormouse!' And they pinched it on

  • both sides at once.

  • The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. 'I wasn't asleep,' he said in a hoarse, feeble voice:

  • 'I heard every word you fellows were saying.'

  • 'Tell us a story!' said the March Hare.

  • 'Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice.

  • 'And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, 'or you'll be asleep again before it's done.'

  • 'Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the Dormouse began in a great hurry;

  • 'and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well'

  • 'What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great interest in questions of eating

  • and drinking.

  • 'They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or two.

  • 'They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently remarked; 'they'd have been ill.'

  • 'So they were,' said the Dormouse; 'VERY ill.'

  • Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of living would be like,

  • but it puzzled her too much, so she went on: 'But why did they live at the bottom of a

  • well?'

  • 'Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.

  • 'I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, 'so I can't take more.'

  • 'You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: 'it's very easy to take MORE than nothing.'

  • 'Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice.

  • 'Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked triumphantly.

  • Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to some tea and bread

  • and butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and repeated her question. 'Why did they live

  • at the bottom of a well?'

  • The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then said, 'It was a treacle

  • well.'

  • 'There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but the Hatter and the March

  • Hare went 'Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, 'If you can't be civil, you'd better

  • finish the story for yourself.'

  • 'No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; 'I won't interrupt again. I dare say there

  • may be ONE.'

  • 'One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to go on. 'And so these

  • three little sisters they were learning to draw, you know '

  • 'What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.

  • 'Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time.

  • 'I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: 'let's all move one place on.'

  • He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare moved into the

  • Dormouse's place, and Alice rather unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter

  • was the only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a good deal worse

  • off than before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk jug into his plate.

  • Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously: 'But

  • I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?'

  • 'You can draw water out of a water well,' said the Hatter; 'so I should think you could

  • draw treacle out of a treacle well eh, stupid?'

  • 'But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing to notice this

  • last remark.

  • 'Of course they were', said the Dormouse; 'well in.'

  • This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for some time without

  • interrupting it.

  • 'They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing its eyes, for

  • it was getting very sleepy; 'and they drew all manner of things everything that begins

  • with an M '

  • 'Why with an M?' said Alice.

  • 'Why not?' said the March Hare.

  • Alice was silent.

  • The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into a doze; but, on being

  • pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with a little shriek, and went on: 'that begins

  • with an M, such as mouse traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness you know you say

  • things are "much of a muchness" did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?'

  • 'Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, 'I don't think'

  • 'Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter.

  • This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in great disgust, and

  • walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice

  • of her going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call

  • after her: the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.

  • 'At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she picked her way through the wood.

  • 'It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life!'

  • Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door leading right into

  • it. 'That's very curious!' she thought. 'But everything's curious today. I think I may

  • as well go in at once.' And in she went.

  • Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little glass table. 'Now,

  • I'll manage better this time,' she said to herself, and began by taking the little golden

  • key, and unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she went to work nibbling

  • at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she was about a foot high:

  • then she walked down the little passage: and THEN she found herself at last in the beautiful

  • garden, among the bright flower beds and the cool fountains.

  • End of Chapter

  • Chapter 8 The Queen's Croquet-Ground

  • A large rose tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses growing on it were

  • white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily painting them red. Alice thought this

  • a very curious thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to

  • them she heard one of them say, 'Look out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint over me

  • like that!'

  • 'I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; 'Seven jogged my elbow.'

  • On which Seven looked up and said, 'That's right, Five! Always lay the blame on others!'

  • 'YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. 'I heard the Queen say only yesterday you deserved

  • to be beheaded!'

  • 'What for?' said the one who had spoken first.

  • 'That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven.

  • 'Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, 'and I'll tell him it was for bringing the cook

  • tulip roots instead of onions.'

  • Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun 'Well, of all the unjust things' when his

  • eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly:

  • the others looked round also, and all of them bowed low.

  • 'Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, 'why you are painting those roses?'

  • Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a low voice, 'Why the fact

  • is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a RED rose tree, and we put a white one

  • in by mistake; and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off,

  • you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to' At this moment

  • Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called out 'The Queen! The Queen!'

  • and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of

  • many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen.

  • First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped like the three gardeners,

  • oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the corners: next the ten courtiers; these

  • were ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers did. After

  • these came the royal children; there were ten of them, and the little dears came jumping

  • merrily along hand in hand, in couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next came

  • the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice recognised the White Rabbit: it

  • was talking in a hurried nervous manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without

  • noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the King's crown on a crimson velvet

  • cushion; and, last of all this grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.

  • Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her face like the three

  • gardeners, but she could not remember ever having heard of such a rule at processions;

  • 'and besides, what would be the use of a procession,' thought she, 'if people had all to lie down

  • upon their faces, so that they couldn't see it?' So she stood still where she was, and

  • waited.

  • When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and looked at her, and the

  • Queen said severely 'Who is this?' She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed

  • and smiled in reply.

  • 'Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and, turning to Alice, she went

  • on, 'What's your name, child?'

  • 'My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very politely; but she added, to

  • herself, 'Why, they're only a pack of cards, after all. I needn't be afraid of them!'

  • 'And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three gardeners who were lying round

  • the rosetree; for, you see, as they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs

  • was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether they were gardeners,

  • or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own children.

  • 'How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage. 'It's no business of MINE.'

  • The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast,

  • screamed 'Off with her head! Off'

  • 'Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent.

  • The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said 'Consider, my dear: she is only a child!'

  • The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave 'Turn them over!'

  • The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.

  • 'Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the three gardeners instantly jumped

  • up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.

  • 'Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. 'You make me giddy.' And then, turning to the rose

  • tree, she went on, 'What HAVE you been doing here?'

  • 'May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone, going down on one knee

  • as he spoke, 'we were trying'

  • 'I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the roses. 'Off with their

  • heads!' and the procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute

  • the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.

  • 'You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a large flower pot that

  • stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking for them, and

  • then quietly marched off after the others.

  • 'Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.

  • 'Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers shouted in reply.

  • 'That's right!' shouted the Queen. 'Can you play croquet?'

  • The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was evidently meant for her.

  • 'Yes!' shouted Alice.

  • 'Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession, wondering very much

  • what would happen next.

  • 'It's it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side. She was walking by the

  • White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face.

  • 'Very,' said Alice: 'where's the Duchess?'

  • 'Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He looked anxiously over his shoulder

  • as he spoke, and then raised himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and

  • whispered 'She's under sentence of execution.'

  • 'What for?' said Alice.

  • 'Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked.

  • 'No, I didn't,' said Alice: 'I don't think it's at all a pity. I said "What for?"'

  • 'She boxed the Queen's ears' the Rabbit began. Alice gave a little scream of laughter. 'Oh,

  • hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a frightened tone. 'The Queen will hear you! You see, she

  • came rather late, and the Queen said'

  • 'Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and people began running

  • about in all directions, tumbling up against each other; however, they got settled down

  • in a minute or two, and the game began. Alice thought she had never seen such a curious

  • croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs,

  • the mallets live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to stand on

  • their hands and feet, to make the arches.

  • The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo: she succeeded

  • in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging

  • down, but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened out, and was going

  • to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it WOULD twist itself round and look up in

  • her face, with such a puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing:

  • and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin again, it was very provoking

  • to find that the hedgehog had unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides

  • all this, there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she wanted to send the

  • hedgehog to, and, as the doubled up soldiers were always getting up and walking off to

  • other parts of the ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficult

  • game indeed.

  • The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling all the while, and

  • fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short time the Queen was in a furious passion,

  • and went stamping about, and shouting 'Off with his head!' or 'Off with her head!' about

  • once in a minute.

  • Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as yet had any dispute with the

  • Queen, but she knew that it might happen any minute, 'and then,' thought she, 'what would

  • become of me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great wonder is, that there's

  • any one left alive!'

  • She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering whether she could get away without

  • being seen, when she noticed a curious appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at first,

  • but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to be a grin, and she said to

  • herself 'It's the Cheshire Cat: now I shall have somebody to talk to.'

  • 'How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was mouth enough for it to speak

  • with.

  • Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. 'It's no use speaking to it,' she

  • thought, 'till its ears have come, or at least one of them.' In another minute the whole

  • head appeared, and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the game,

  • feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her. The Cat seemed to think that there

  • was enough of it now in sight, and no more of it appeared.

  • 'I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather a complaining tone, 'and

  • they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear oneself speak and they don't seem to have

  • any rules in particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to them and you've no

  • idea how confusing it is all the things being alive; for instance, there's the arch I've

  • got to go through next walking about at the other end of the ground and I should have

  • croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw mine coming!'

  • 'How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice.

  • 'Not at all,' said Alice: 'she's so extremely' Just then she noticed that the Queen was close

  • behind her, listening: so she went on, 'likely to win, that it's hardly worth while finishing

  • the game.'

  • The Queen smiled and passed on.

  • 'Who ARE you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, and looking at the Cat's head

  • with great curiosity.

  • 'It's a friend of mine a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: 'allow me to introduce it.'

  • 'I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: 'however, it may kiss my hand if

  • it likes.'

  • 'I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked.

  • 'Don't be impertinent,' said the King, 'and don't look at me like that!' He got behind

  • Alice as he spoke.

  • 'A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. 'I've read that in some book, but I don't remember

  • where.'

  • 'Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and he called the Queen, who

  • was passing at the moment, 'My dear! I wish you would have this cat removed!'

  • The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. 'Off with his

  • head!' she said, without even looking round.

  • 'I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and he hurried off.

  • Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game was going on, as she heard

  • the Queen's voice in the distance, screaming with passion. She had already heard her sentence

  • three of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and she did not like the

  • look of things at all, as the game was in such confusion that she never knew whether

  • it was her turn or not. So she went in search of her hedgehog.

  • The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, which seemed to Alice an excellent

  • opportunity for croqueting one of them with the other: the only difficulty was, that her

  • flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying

  • in a helpless sort of way to fly up into a tree.

  • By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight was over, and both

  • the hedgehogs were out of sight: 'but it doesn't matter much,' thought Alice, 'as all the arches

  • are gone from this side of the ground.' So she tucked it away under her arm, that it

  • might not escape again, and went back for a little more conversation with her friend.

  • When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to find quite a large crowd

  • collected round it: there was a dispute going on between the executioner, the King, and

  • the Queen, who were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent, and looked

  • very uncomfortable.

  • The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to settle the question, and

  • they repeated their arguments to her, though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very

  • hard indeed to make out exactly what they said.

  • The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a head unless there was a body to

  • cut it off from: that he had never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going

  • to begin at HIS time of life.

  • The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be beheaded, and that you

  • weren't to talk nonsense.

  • The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about it in less than no time

  • she'd have everybody executed, all round. (It was this last remark that had made the

  • whole party look so grave and anxious.)

  • Alice could think of nothing else to say but 'It belongs to the Duchess: you'd better ask

  • HER about it.'

  • 'She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: 'fetch her here.'

  • And the executioner went off like an arrow.

  • The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and,

  • by the time he had come back with the Duchess, it had entirely

  • disappeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and down

  • looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game.

  • End of Chapter

  • Chapter 9 The Mock Turtle's Story

  • 'You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old thing!' said the Duchess,

  • as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice's, and they walked off together.

  • Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and thought to herself that

  • perhaps it was only the pepper that had made her so savage when they met in the kitchen.

  • 'When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a very hopeful tone though), 'I won't

  • have any pepper in my kitchen AT ALL. Soup does very well without. Maybe it's always

  • pepper that makes people hot tempered,' she went on, very much pleased at having found

  • out a new kind of rule, 'and vinegar that makes them sour and camomile that makes them

  • bitter and and barley sugar and such things that make children sweet tempered. I only

  • wish people knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about it, you know'

  • She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a little startled when she heard

  • her voice close to her ear. 'You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you

  • forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember

  • it in a bit.'

  • 'Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark.

  • 'Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. 'Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.' And

  • she squeezed herself up closer to Alice's side as she spoke.

  • Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first, because the Duchess was VERY ugly;

  • and secondly, because she was exactly the right height to rest her chin upon Alice's

  • shoulder, and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not like to be rude,

  • so she bore it as well as she could.

  • 'The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of keeping up the conversation

  • a little.

  • ''Tis so,' said the Duchess: 'and the moral of that is "Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that

  • makes the world go round!"'

  • 'Somebody said,' Alice whispered, 'that it's done by everybody minding their own business!'

  • 'Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess, digging her sharp little

  • chin into Alice's shoulder as she added, 'and the moral of THAT is "Take care of the sense,

  • and the sounds will take care of themselves."'

  • 'How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought to herself.

  • 'I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your waist,' the Duchess said

  • after a pause: 'the reason is, that I'm doubtful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I

  • try the experiment?'

  • 'HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious to have the experiment

  • tried.

  • 'Very true,' said the Duchess: 'flamingoes and mustard both bite. And the moral of that

  • is "Birds of a feather flock together."'

  • 'Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked.

  • 'Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: 'what a clear way you have of putting things!'

  • 'It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice.

  • 'Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree to everything that Alice said;

  • 'there's a large mustard mine near here. And the moral of that is "The more there is of

  • mine, the less there is of yours."'

  • 'Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last remark, 'it's a vegetable.

  • It doesn't look like one, but it is.'

  • 'I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; 'and the moral of that is "Be what you would

  • seem to be" or if you'd like it put more simply "Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise

  • than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise

  • than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise."'

  • 'I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very politely, 'if I had it written

  • down: but I can't quite follow it as you say it.'

  • 'That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess replied, in a pleased tone.

  • 'Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,' said Alice.

  • 'Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. 'I make you a present of everything I've said

  • as yet.'

  • 'A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. 'I'm glad they don't give birthday presents

  • like that!' But she did not venture to say it out loud.

  • 'Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her sharp little chin.

  • 'I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to feel a little worried.

  • 'Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, 'as pigs have to fly; and the m '

  • But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died away, even in the middle of her

  • favourite word 'moral,' and the arm that was linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked

  • up, and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like

  • a thunderstorm.

  • 'A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak voice.

  • 'Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on the ground as she spoke;

  • 'either you or your head must be off, and that in about half no time! Take your choice!'

  • The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.

  • 'Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alice was too much frightened

  • to say a word, but slowly followed her back to the croquet ground.

  • The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence, and were resting in the shade:

  • however, the moment they saw her, they hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking

  • that a moment's delay would cost them their lives.

  • All the time they were playing the Queen never left off quarrelling with the other players,

  • and shouting 'Off with his head!' or 'Off with her head!' Those whom she sentenced were

  • taken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leave off being arches to do

  • this, so that by the end of half an hour or so there were no arches left, and all the

  • players, except the King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of execution.

  • Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to Alice, 'Have you seen the Mock

  • Turtle yet?'

  • 'No,' said Alice. 'I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.'

  • 'It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen.

  • 'I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice.

  • 'Come on, then,' said the Queen, 'and he shall tell you his history,'

  • As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low voice, to the company generally,

  • 'You are all pardoned.' 'Come, THAT'S a good thing!' she said to herself, for she had felt

  • quite unhappy at the number of executions the Queen had ordered.

  • They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun. (IF you don't know

  • what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) 'Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen, 'and take this

  • young lady to see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and see after

  • some executions I have ordered'; and she walked off, leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon.

  • Alice did not quite like the look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it would be quite

  • as safe to stay with it as to go after that savage Queen: so she waited.

  • The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the Queen till she was out of sight:

  • then it chuckled. 'What fun!' said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.

  • 'What IS the fun?' said Alice.

  • 'Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon. 'It's all her fancy, that: they never executes nobody, you

  • know. Come on!'

  • 'Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went slowly after it: 'I never

  • was so ordered about in all my life, never!'

  • They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance, sitting sad and

  • lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing

  • as if his heart would break. She pitied him deeply. 'What is his sorrow?' she asked the

  • Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the same words as before, 'It's all his

  • fancy, that: he hasn't got no sorrow, you know. Come on!'

  • So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large eyes full of tears, but

  • said nothing.

  • 'This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, 'she wants for to know your history, she do.'

  • 'I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: 'sit down, both of you,

  • and don't speak a word till I've finished.'

  • So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice thought to herself, 'I don't

  • see how he can EVEN finish, if he doesn't begin.' But she waited patiently.

  • 'Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, 'I was a real Turtle.'

  • These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by an occasional exclamation of

  • 'Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was

  • very nearly getting up and saying, 'Thank you, sir, for your interesting story,' but

  • she could not help thinking there MUST be more to come, so she sat still and said nothing.

  • 'When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, though still sobbing

  • a little now and then, 'we went to school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle we

  • used to call him Tortoise'

  • 'Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked.

  • 'We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock Turtle angrily: 'really

  • you are very dull!'

  • 'You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question,' added the Gryphon;

  • and then they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the

  • earth. At last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, 'Drive on, old fellow! Don't be all

  • day about it!' and he went on in these words:

  • 'Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe it'

  • 'I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice.

  • 'You did,' said the Mock Turtle.

  • 'Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak again. The Mock Turtle went

  • on.

  • 'We had the best of educations in fact, we went to school every day'

  • 'I'VE been to a day school, too,' said Alice; 'you needn't be so proud as all that.'

  • 'With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.

  • 'Yes,' said Alice, 'we learned French and music.'

  • 'And washing?' said the Mock Turtle.

  • 'Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.

  • 'Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief.

  • 'Now at OURS they had at the end of the bill, "French, music, AND WASHING extra."'

  • 'You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; 'living at the bottom of the sea.'

  • 'I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. 'I only took the

  • regular course.'

  • 'What was that?' inquired Alice.

  • 'Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock Turtle replied; 'and then

  • the different branches of Arithmetic, Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.'

  • 'I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. 'What is it?'

  • The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. 'What! Never heard of uglifying!' it exclaimed.

  • 'You know what to beautify is, I suppose?'

  • 'Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: 'it means to make anything prettier.'

  • 'Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, 'if you don't know what to uglify is, you ARE a simpleton.'

  • Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it, so she turned to the Mock

  • Turtle, and said 'What else had you to learn?'

  • 'Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting off the subjects on his

  • flappers, 'Mystery, ancient and modern, with Seaography: then Drawling the Drawling master

  • was an old conger eel, that used to come once a week: HE taught us Drawling, Stretching,

  • and Fainting in Coils.'

  • 'What was THAT like?' said Alice.

  • 'Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: 'I'm too stiff. And the Gryphon

  • never learnt it.'

  • 'Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: 'I went to the Classics master, though. He was an old

  • crab, HE was.'

  • 'I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: 'he taught Laughing and Grief,

  • they used to say.'

  • 'So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; and both creatures hid

  • their faces in their paws.

  • 'And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in a hurry to change the subject.

  • 'Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: 'nine the next, and so on.'

  • 'What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.

  • 'That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon remarked: 'because they lessen

  • from day to day.'

  • This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a little before she made her

  • next remark. 'Then the eleventh day must have been a holiday?'

  • 'Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle.

  • 'And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on eagerly.

  • 'That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a very decided tone: 'tell

  • her something about the games now.'

  • End of Chapter

  • Chapter 10 The Lobster Quadrille

  • The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper across his eyes. He looked

  • at Alice, and tried to speak, but for a minute or two sobs choked his voice. 'Same as if

  • he had a bone in his throat,' said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him and punching

  • him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered his voice, and, with tears running down his

  • cheeks, he went on again:

  • 'You may not have lived much under the sea' ('I haven't,' said Alice)'and perhaps you

  • were never even introduced to a lobster' (Alice began to say 'I once tasted' but checked herself

  • hastily, and said 'No, never') 'so you can have no idea what a delightful thing a Lobster

  • Quadrille is!'

  • 'No, indeed,' said Alice. 'What sort of a dance is it?'

  • 'Why,' said the Gryphon, 'you first form into a line along the seashore'

  • 'Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. 'Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on; then, when you've

  • cleared all the jellyfish out of the way'

  • 'THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon.

  • 'you advance twice'

  • 'Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon.

  • 'Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: 'advance twice, set to partners'

  • 'change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the Gryphon.

  • 'Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, 'you throw the'

  • 'The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air.

  • 'as far out to sea as you can'

  • 'Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon.

  • 'Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle, capering wildly about.

  • 'Change lobsters again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice.

  • 'Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping

  • his voice; and the two creatures, who had been jumping about like mad things all this

  • time, sat down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.

  • 'It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly.

  • 'Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle.

  • 'Very much indeed,' said Alice.

  • 'Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon. 'We can do without

  • lobsters, you know. Which shall sing?'

  • 'Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon. 'I've forgotten the words.'

  • So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now and then treading on her

  • toes when they passed too close, and waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the

  • Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly and sadly:

  • '"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail.

  • "There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail.

  • See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!

  • They are waiting on the shingle will you come and join the dance?

  • Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?

  • Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?

  • "You can really have no notion how delightful it will be

  • When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!"

  • But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look askance

  • Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance.

  • Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance.

  • Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance.

  • '"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied.

  • "There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.

  • The further off from England the nearer is to France

  • Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.

  • Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?

  • Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?"'

  • 'Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said Alice, feeling very glad that

  • it was over at last: 'and I do so like that curious song about the whiting!'

  • 'Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, 'they you've seen them, of course?'

  • 'Yes,' said Alice, 'I've often seen them at dinn ' she checked herself hastily.

  • 'I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, 'but if you've seen them so often,

  • of course you know what they're like.'

  • 'I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. 'They have their tails in their mouths and

  • they're all over crumbs.'

  • 'You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle: 'crumbs would all wash off in

  • the sea. But they HAVE their tails in their mouths; and the reason is ' here the Mock

  • Turtle yawned and shut his eyes. 'Tell her about the reason and all that,' he said to

  • the Gryphon.

  • 'The reason is,' said the Gryphon, 'that they WOULD go with the lobsters to the dance. So

  • they got thrown out to sea. So they had to fall a long way. So they got their tails fast

  • in their mouths. So they couldn't get them out again. That's all.'

  • 'Thank you,' said Alice, 'it's very interesting. I never knew so much about a whiting before.'

  • 'I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the Gryphon. 'Do you know why it's called

  • a whiting?'

  • 'I never thought about it,' said Alice. 'Why?'

  • 'IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied very solemnly.

  • Alice was thoroughly puzzled. 'Does the boots and shoes!' she repeated in a wondering tone.

  • 'Why, what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon. 'I mean, what makes them so shiny?'

  • Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she gave her answer. 'They're

  • done with blacking, I believe.'

  • 'Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep voice, 'are done with a

  • whiting. Now you know.'

  • 'And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity.

  • 'Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather impatiently: 'any shrimp could have

  • told you that.'

  • 'If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were still running on the song, 'I'd

  • have said to the porpoise, "Keep back, please: we don't want YOU with us!"'

  • 'They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle said: 'no wise fish would

  • go anywhere without a porpoise.'

  • 'Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great surprise.

  • 'Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: 'why, if a fish came to ME, and told me he was going

  • a journey, I should say "With what porpoise?"'

  • 'Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice.

  • 'I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone. And the Gryphon added

  • 'Come, let's hear some of YOUR adventures.'

  • 'I could tell you my adventures beginning from this morning,' said Alice a little timidly:

  • 'but it's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.'

  • 'Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle.

  • 'No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an impatient tone: 'explanations take such

  • a dreadful time.'

  • So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she first saw the White

  • Rabbit. She was a little nervous about it just at first, the two creatures got so close

  • to her, one on each side, and opened their eyes and mouths so VERY wide, but she gained

  • courage as she went on. Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to the part about

  • her repeating 'YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the words all coming

  • different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said 'That's very curious.'

  • 'It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon.

  • 'It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully. 'I should like to hear her try

  • and repeat something now. Tell her to begin.' He looked at the Gryphon as if he thought

  • it had some kind of authority over Alice.

  • 'Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' said the Gryphon.

  • 'How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!' thought Alice; 'I might

  • as well be at school at once.' However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head

  • was so full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was saying, and the

  • words came very queer indeed:

  • ''Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,

  • "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair."

  • As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose

  • Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.'

  • [later editions continued as follows When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a

  • lark, And will talk in contemptuous tones of the

  • Shark, But, when the tide rises and sharks are around,

  • His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]

  • 'That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' said the Gryphon.

  • 'Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; 'but it sounds uncommon nonsense.'

  • Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands, wondering if anything

  • would EVER happen in a natural way again.

  • 'I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.

  • 'She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. 'Go on with the next verse.'

  • 'But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. 'How COULD he turn them out with his nose,

  • you know?'

  • 'It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was dreadfully puzzled by the whole

  • thing, and longed to change the subject.

  • 'Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently: 'it begins "I passed by his garden."'

  • Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come wrong, and she

  • went on in a trembling voice:

  • 'I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye,

  • How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie'

  • [later editions continued as follows The Panther took pie crust, and gravy, and

  • meat, While the Owl had the dish as its share of

  • the treat. When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as

  • a boon, Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:

  • While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,

  • And concluded the banquet]

  • 'What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle interrupted, 'if you don't

  • explain it as you go on? It's by far the most confusing thing I ever heard!'

  • 'Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and Alice was only too glad to

  • do so.

  • 'Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the Gryphon went on. 'Or would

  • you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?'

  • 'Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,' Alice replied, so eagerly that

  • the Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, 'Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her "Turtle

  • Soup," will you, old fellow?'

  • The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes choked with sobs, to

  • sing this:

  • 'Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, Waiting in a hot tureen!

  • Who for such dainties would not stoop? Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!

  • Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! Beau ootiful Soo oop!

  • Beau ootiful Soo oop! Soo oop of the e e evening,

  • Beautiful, beautiful Soup!

  • 'Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, Game, or any other dish?

  • Who would not give all else for two Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?

  • Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? Beau ootiful Soo oop!

  • Beau ootiful Soo oop! Soo oop of the e e evening,

  • Beautiful, beauti FUL SOUP!'

  • 'Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had just begun to repeat it, when

  • a cry of 'The trial's beginning!' was heard in the distance.

  • 'Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, it hurried off, without

  • waiting for the end of the song.

  • 'What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon only answered 'Come on!' and

  • ran the faster, while more and more faintly came, carried on the breeze that followed

  • them, the melancholy words:

  • 'Soo oop of the e e evening, Beautiful, beautiful Soup!'

  • End of Chapter

  • Chapter 11 Who Stole the Tarts?

  • The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when they arrived, with a great

  • crowd assembled about them all sorts of little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack

  • of cards: the Knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to

  • guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand, and a

  • scroll of parchment in the other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large

  • dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, that it made Alice quite hungry to look at

  • them 'I wish they'd get the trial done,' she thought, 'and hand round the refreshments!'

  • But there seemed to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about her,

  • to pass away the time.

  • Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had read about them in books,

  • and she was quite pleased to find that she knew the name of nearly everything there.

  • 'That's the judge,' she said to herself, 'because of his great wig.'

  • The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown over the wig, (look at the

  • frontispiece if you want to see how he did it,) he did not look at all comfortable, and

  • it was certainly not becoming.

  • 'And that's the jury box,' thought Alice, 'and those twelve creatures,' (she was obliged

  • to say 'creatures,' you see, because some of them were animals, and some were birds,)

  • 'I suppose they are the jurors.' She said this last word two or three times over to

  • herself, being rather proud of it: for she thought, and rightly too, that very few little

  • girls of her age knew the meaning of it at all. However, 'jury men' would have done just

  • as well.

  • The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. 'What are they doing?' Alice whispered

  • to the Gryphon. 'They can't have anything to put down yet, before the trial's begun.'

  • 'They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in reply, 'for fear they should

  • forget them before the end of the trial.'

  • 'Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but she stopped hastily, for the White

  • Rabbit cried out, 'Silence in the court!' and the King put on his spectacles and looked

  • anxiously round, to make out who was talking.

  • Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their shoulders, that all the jurors

  • were writing down 'stupid things!' on their slates, and she could even make out that one

  • of them didn't know how to spell 'stupid,' and that he had to ask his neighbour to tell

  • him. 'A nice muddle their slates'll be in before the trial's over!' thought Alice.

  • One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course, Alice could not stand, and

  • she went round the court and got behind him, and very soon found an opportunity of taking

  • it away. She did it so quickly that the poor little juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) could

  • not make out at all what had become of it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was

  • obliged to write with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of very little use,

  • as it left no mark on the slate.

  • 'Herald, read the accusation!' said the King.

  • On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and then unrolled the parchment

  • scroll, and read as follows:

  • 'The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, All on a summer day:

  • The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, And took them quite away!'

  • 'Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury.

  • 'Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted. 'There's a great deal to come before that!'

  • 'Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the

  • trumpet, and called out, 'First witness!'

  • The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in one hand and a piece of

  • bread-and-butter in the other. 'I beg pardon, your Majesty,' he began, 'for bringing these

  • in: but I hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for.'

  • 'You ought to have finished,' said the King. 'When did you begin?'

  • The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into the court, arm-in-arm with

  • the Dormouse. 'Fourteenth of March, I think it was,' he said.

  • 'Fifteenth,' said the March Hare.

  • 'Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse.

  • 'Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly wrote down all three

  • dates on their slates, and then added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and

  • pence.

  • 'Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter.

  • 'It isn't mine,' said the Hatter.

  • 'Stolen!' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly made a memorandum of the

  • fact.

  • 'I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation; 'I've none of my own. I'm

  • a hatter.'

  • Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the Hatter, who turned pale

  • and fidgeted.

  • 'Give your evidence,' said the King; 'and don't be nervous, or I'll have you executed

  • on the spot.'

  • This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept shifting from one foot to

  • the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece

  • out of his teacup instead of the bread-and-butter.

  • Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which puzzled her a good deal until

  • she made out what it was: she was beginning to grow larger again, and she thought at first

  • she would get up and leave the court; but on second thoughts she decided to remain where

  • she was as long as there was room for her.

  • 'I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who was sitting next to her. 'I

  • can hardly breathe.'

  • 'I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly: 'I'm growing.'

  • 'You've no right to grow here,' said the Dormouse.

  • 'Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: 'you know you're growing too.'

  • 'Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,' said the Dormouse: 'not in that ridiculous fashion.'

  • And he got up very sulkily and crossed over to the other side of the court.

  • All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse

  • crossed the court, she said to one of the officers of the court, 'Bring me the list

  • of the singers in the last concert!' on which the wretched Hatter trembled so, that he shook

  • both his shoes off.

  • 'Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, 'or I'll have you executed, whether you're

  • nervous or not.'

  • 'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a trembling voice, 'and I hadn't

  • begun my tea not above a week or so and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin

  • and the twinkling of the tea'

  • 'The twinkling of the what?' said the King.

  • 'It began with the tea,' the Hatter replied.

  • 'Of course twinkling begins with a T!' said the King sharply. 'Do you take me for a dunce?

  • Go on!'

  • 'I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, 'and most things twinkled after that only the March

  • Hare said'

  • 'I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry.

  • 'You did!' said the Hatter.

  • 'I deny it!' said the March Hare.

  • 'He denies it,' said the King: 'leave out that part.'

  • 'Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said' the Hatter went on, looking anxiously round to

  • see if he would deny it too: but the Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep.

  • 'After that,' continued the Hatter, 'I cut some more bread-and-butter'

  • 'But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked.

  • 'That I can't remember,' said the Hatter.

  • 'You MUST remember,' remarked the King, 'or I'll have you executed.'

  • The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, and went down on one knee.

  • 'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he began.

  • 'You're a very poor speaker,' said the King.

  • Here one of the guinea pigs cheered, and was immediately suppressed by the officers of

  • the court. (As that is rather a hard word, I will just explain to you how it was done.

  • They had a large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings: into this they

  • slipped the guinea pig, head first, and then sat upon it.)

  • 'I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice. 'I've so often read in the newspapers, at

  • the end of trials, "There was some attempts at applause, which was immediately suppressed

  • by the officers of the court," and I never understood what it meant till now.'

  • 'If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,' continued the King.

  • 'I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: 'I'm on the floor, as it is.'

  • 'Then you may SIT down,' the King replied.

  • Here the other guinea pig cheered, and was suppressed.

  • 'Come, that finished the guinea pigs!' thought Alice. 'Now we shall get on better.'

  • 'I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious look at the Queen, who was

  • reading the list of singers.

  • 'You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the court, without even waiting

  • to put his shoes on.

  • 'and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one of the officers: but the

  • Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get to the door.

  • 'Call the next witness!' said the King.

  • The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the pepper box in her hand, and Alice

  • guessed who it was, even before she got into the court, by the way the people near the

  • door began sneezing all at once.

  • 'Give your evidence,' said the King.

  • 'Shan't,' said the cook.

  • The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a low voice, 'Your Majesty must

  • cross examine THIS witness.'

  • 'Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy air, and, after folding

  • his arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said in

  • a deep voice, 'What are tarts made of?'

  • 'Pepper, mostly,' said the cook.

  • 'Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her.

  • 'Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out. 'Behead that Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse

  • out of court! Suppress him! Pinch him! Off with his whiskers!'

  • For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the Dormouse turned out, and, by the

  • time they had settled down again, the cook had disappeared.

  • 'Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief. 'Call the next witness.' And

  • he added in an undertone to the Queen, 'Really, my dear, YOU must cross examine the next witness.

  • It quite makes my forehead ache!'

  • Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, feeling very curious to see

  • what the next witness would be like, 'for they haven't got much evidence YET,' she said

  • to herself. Imagine her surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill

  • little voice, the name 'Alice!'

  • End of Chapter Chapter 12

  • Alice's Evidence

  • 'Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how large she had grown

  • in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury

  • box with the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd

  • below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish

  • she had accidentally upset the week before.

  • 'Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and began picking

  • them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident of the goldfish kept running

  • in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once and put

  • back into the jury box, or they would die.

  • 'The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave voice, 'until all the jurymen

  • are back in their proper places ALL,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice

  • as he said do.

  • Alice looked at the jury box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put the Lizard in head

  • downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being

  • quite unable to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; 'not that it signifies

  • much,' she said to herself; 'I should think it would be QUITE as much use in the trial

  • one way up as the other.'

  • As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being upset, and their slates

  • and pencils had been found and handed back to them, they set to work very diligently

  • to write out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome

  • to do anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the court.

  • 'What do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice.

  • 'Nothing,' said Alice.

  • 'Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King.

  • 'Nothing whatever,' said Alice.

  • 'That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. They were just beginning to write

  • this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit interrupted: 'UNimportant, your Majesty

  • means, of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him

  • as he spoke.

  • 'UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on to himself in an

  • undertone,

  • 'important unimportant unimportant important ' as if he were trying which word sounded

  • best.

  • Some of the jury wrote it down 'important,' and some 'unimportant.' Alice could see this,

  • as she was near enough to look over their slates; 'but it doesn't matter a bit,' she

  • thought to herself.

  • At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in his note-book,

  • cackled out 'Silence!' and read out from his book, 'Rule Forty-two. ALL PERSONS MORE THAN

  • A MILE HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.'

  • Everybody looked at Alice.

  • 'I'M not a mile high,' said Alice.

  • 'You are,' said the King.

  • 'Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen.

  • 'Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: 'besides, that's not a regular rule: you invented

  • it just now.'

  • 'It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King.

  • 'Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice.

  • The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. 'Consider your verdict,' he said

  • to the jury, in a low, trembling voice.

  • 'There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said the White Rabbit, jumping

  • up in a great hurry; 'this paper has just been picked up.'

  • 'What's in it?' said the Queen.

  • 'I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, 'but it seems to be a letter, written

  • by the prisoner to to somebody.'

  • 'It must have been that,' said the King, 'unless it was written to nobody, which isn't usual,

  • you know.'

  • 'Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen.

  • 'It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; 'in fact, there's nothing written

  • on the OUTSIDE.' He unfolded the paper as he spoke, and added 'It isn't a letter, after

  • all: it's a set of verses.'

  • 'Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of the jurymen.

  • 'No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, 'and that's the queerest thing about it.'

  • (The jury all looked puzzled.)

  • 'He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King. (The jury all brightened up

  • again.)

  • 'Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, 'I didn't write it, and they can't prove I did:

  • there's no name signed at the end.'

  • 'If you didn't sign it,' said the King, 'that only makes the matter worse. You MUST have

  • meant some mischief, or else you'd have signed your name like an honest man.'

  • There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first really clever thing the King

  • had said that day.

  • 'That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen.

  • 'It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. 'Why, you don't even know what they're about!'

  • 'Read them,' said the King.

  • The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked.

  • 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then

  • stop.'

  • These were the verses the White Rabbit read:

  • 'They told me you had been to her, And mentioned me to him:

  • She gave me a good character, But said I could not swim.

  • He sent them word I had not gone (We know it to be true):

  • If she should push the matter on, What would become of you?

  • I gave her one, they gave him two, You gave us three or more;

  • They all returned from him to you, Though they were mine before.

  • If I or she should chance to be Involved in this affair,

  • He trusts to you to set them free, Exactly as we were.

  • My notion was that you had been (Before she had this fit)

  • An obstacle that came between Him, and ourselves, and it.

  • Don't let him know she liked them best, For this must ever be

  • A secret, kept from all the rest, Between yourself and me.'

  • 'That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,' said the King, rubbing his

  • hands; 'so now let the jury'

  • 'If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had grown so large in the last

  • few minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupting him,) 'I'll give him sixpence.

  • I don't believe there's an atom of meaning in it.'

  • The jury all wrote down on their slates, 'SHE doesn't believe there's an atom of meaning

  • in it,' but none of them attempted to explain the paper.

  • 'If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, 'that saves a world of trouble, you know,

  • as we needn't try to find any. And yet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses

  • on his knee, and looking at them with one eye; 'I seem to see some meaning in them,

  • after all. "SAID I COULD NOT SWIM" you can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave.

  • The Knave shook his head sadly. 'Do I look like it?' he said. (Which he certainly did

  • NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.)

  • 'All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering over the verses to himself:

  • '"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE" that's the jury, of course"I GAVE HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO"

  • why, that must be what he did with the tarts, you know'

  • 'But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' said Alice.

  • 'Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to the tarts on the table. 'Nothing

  • can be clearer than THAT. Then again"BEFORE SHE HAD THIS FIT" you never had fits, my dear,

  • I think?' he said to the Queen.

  • 'Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the Lizard as she spoke. (The

  • unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on his slate with one finger, as he found

  • it made no mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was trickling down

  • his face, as long as it lasted.)

  • 'Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round the court with a smile. There

  • was a dead silence.

  • 'It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and everybody laughed, 'Let the jury

  • consider their verdict,' the King said, for about the twentieth time that day.

  • 'No, no!' said the Queen. 'Sentence first verdict afterwards.'

  • 'Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. 'The idea of having the sentence first!'

  • 'Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple.

  • 'I won't!' said Alice.

  • 'Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody moved.

  • 'Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this time.) 'You're

  • nothing but a pack of cards!'

  • At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down upon her: she gave a

  • little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found

  • herself lying on the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing

  • away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face.

  • 'Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; 'Why, what a long sleep you've had!'

  • 'Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told her sister, as well as

  • she could remember them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you have just been

  • reading about; and when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, 'It WAS a

  • curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's getting late.' So Alice

  • got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream

  • it had been.

  • But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on her hand, watching

  • the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she

  • too began dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:

  • First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny hands were clasped

  • upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking up into hers she could hear the very

  • tones of her voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back the wandering

  • hair that WOULD always get into her eyes and still as she listened, or seemed to listen,

  • the whole place around her became alive with the strange creatures of her little sister's

  • dream.

  • The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried by the frightened Mouse

  • splashed his way through the neighbouring pool she could hear the rattle of the teacups

  • as the March Hare and his friends shared their never ending meal, and the shrill voice of

  • the Queen ordering off her unfortunate guests to execution once more the pig-baby was sneezing

  • on the Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it once more the shriek of

  • the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's slate pencil, and the choking of the suppressed

  • guinea pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock Turtle.

  • So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in Wonderland, though she

  • knew she had but to open them again, and all would change to dull reality the grass would

  • be only rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the reeds the rattling

  • teacups would change to tinkling sheep bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice

  • of the shepherd boy and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and all the

  • other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the confused clamour of the busy farm yard

  • while the lowing of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's

  • heavy sobs.

  • Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in the after

  • time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all her riper years, the

  • simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her other little

  • children, and make THEIR eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with

  • the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows,

  • and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child life, and the happy

  • summer days.

  • THE END

CHAPTER 1 Down the Rabbit Hole

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愛麗絲夢遊仙境有聲書 (Alice's Adventures in Wonderland Audiobook by Lewis Caroll, Complete, Full cast & Unabridged)

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    劉士豪 發佈於 2016 年 08 月 28 日
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