Hello! Welcome home, Nick.

哈囉！Nick，歡迎回家！

Your new home update is ready for viewing.

您可以開始檢視您的升級版新家了。

Are you serious?

你認真？

I just got used to the way you had it before.

我才剛開始習慣你之前的設定。

Just let me know when you're ready to begin the tour.

如果您準備好開始導覽就通知我一聲。

Okay.

好喔。

As you can see, we've made some changes to improve the functionality of your living room environment.

如您所見，我們做了些改變來加強您客廳環境的功能性。

Wait... no! Where's the other half of my couch?

等等... 不！我沙發的另一半嘞？！

- What is this chair thing? I don't... - We've decreased the size of your Television to make room for your new Bookcase.

- 這個椅子是什麼？- 我... 我們縮小了您電視的尺寸來增加放書櫃的空間。

No, I had a 60-inch TV! What? Can we just put the...

不！我的電視有 60 吋的耶！到底是怎麼回事？我們可不可以先...

Just let me know when you're ready to move on.

如果您準備好繼續就通知我一聲。

Okay.

好。

Check out your new bedroom.

來看看您的新臥室。

We've consolidated your Photos and Music into one convenient location.

我們幫您把照片以及音樂結合在同一個方便欣賞的地方。

Hohoho... Dude, you didn't say you were so chubby in high school.

哈哈哈... 老兄！你沒說過你高中的時候這麼圓胖可愛欸。

Man, do you listen to anything besides Top 40?

老兄，你是只聽音樂排行榜前 40 名的歌嗎？

How did you guys get in here?

你們這些傢伙怎麼進來的？

Friends and Friends of Friends now have better access to you through your new Privacy Door.

朋友，以及朋友的朋友現在通過新的隱私入口可以更容易查詢到您的資料喔！

No! I said in the last update that I didn't want anybody in here.

不行！我上次更新就已經說過，我不想要任何人進來這裡！

Get out! Now!

滾！立刻馬上！

I haven't talked to you in six years.

我跟你有六年沒講過話了。

And I don't know who you are.

而我根本不知道你是誰。

Would you stop resetting my privacy settings every time?

你可以不要每次更新都重設我的隱私設定嗎？！

I see you've found your new Privacy Window.

看來您發現了您新的隱私視窗了！

It allows for anyone on Earth to see what you're up to.

它允許全世界的人查看您在做什麼。

Whenever they want!

而且隨時都可以喔！

No! I said I don't want anything like this!

不！我說過我不要這些東西！

Would you please...

你到底可不可以...

Just let me know when you're ready to move on.

如果您準備好繼續就通知我一聲。

Finally, we've combined your dining room and social media center.

最後，我們把您的客廳以及媒體中心合併了在一起。

Now it's way easier for your friends to keep you in the know.

現在，您的朋友們將可以更輕鬆地通知您關於他們的各種新動態。

Nick! Hi! Can you come to my birthday party?

Nick！嗨！你會來參加我的生日派對嗎？

Nick! Would you vote for my brother in his contests?

Nick！你可以幫我弟的比賽投一票嗎？

Nick! Would you come to my improv show tonight?

Nick！你今晚會來參加我的即興演出嗎？

No! I'm not going to any of those.

不會！我什麼活動都不打算參加！

No!

不！

Stop it!

你給我住手！

Is this tour done? Because I'm getting sick of all these.

這導覽結束了嗎？因為我快受不了這些。

What is that thing in my kitchen?

這東西怎麼會在我廚房？

We've taken your cat and replaced it with a dog.

我們把您的貓換成了狗。

No!

不！

No!!!

不行！！！

We've also changed your walls around.

我們也順便幫您更換了牆壁。

These are just ads! What?!!

你把我的東西換成了廣告！什麼東西啊？！！

If you look here...

您注意看這邊...

No! We're ending the tour.

夠了！結束導覽！

Okay.

好吧。

Motherfxxx...

我去你...