We've got crutches, a mangled van,

我們有一根拐杖和一台舊貨車

and a big-ass cat.

還有一隻大「貓咪」

We're gonna make people think

我們要讓人以為

they're taking an injured person's groceries to their car.

他們是在幫一個受傷的人拿食物到車上

But when they get to the car, they're gonna find a tiger.

但當他們走到車子前，會發現有一隻老虎

Rah! Grr!

嗷— —， 吼— —

Jeana: All right, game on.

吉娜：好了，惡作劇開始

Jesse's up first.

傑西先上

Jesse: Could you maybe, like, help me bring it to my vehicle?

傑西：麻煩你幫忙把這個拿到我的車上好嗎?

I rolled my ankle 'cause

我的腳扭傷了是為了

I was trying to bring this cat home from the zoo.

把這隻貓咪從動物園帶回家裡

All right, it's right over here.

好了，就在那裡

Right here.

這裡

Look at the guy, look at -- he's like,

看那傢伙，你看--他一臉

"Why is" -- his mouth is wide open.

「怎麼回事?」嘴張的超大

We gotta do this quick.

我們動作要快一點

Hang on. Are you kidding me?

等一下，你在跟我開玩笑嗎?

No, no, this -- is this a bad thing?

不，這個--這樣不對嗎?

[ Laughs ] Look at this guy.

看這傢伙

Can you maybe open the door as I throw it in there?

你可以幫我開門，好讓我把東西放進去嗎?

Hi, can you help me with this meat right here?

嗨，可以幫我把拿一下這袋肉嗎?

I just need to put it in my vehicle.

我需要把它放進車裡

You mean put it in the car? Yeah, yeah.

你是說把這放進車裡嗎？是的

I have my cat in there.

我的貓在車子裡

She's pretty nice. See her in there?

她很乖的，有看到她在裡面嗎?

Oh, wait a minute.

噢，等一下

I'm not going in there.

我才不要過去

What?

什麼?

I think you better take him to the zoo.

我覺得你應該要帶他去動物園

I mean, that's where I took him from.

可是，我就是從動物園帶他出來的

Hi, yeah, yeah, could you maybe give me a hand?

嗨，可以幫個忙嗎?

I rolled my ankle the other day.

我前幾天拐到我的腳踝了

I was playing with my cat.

那時候，我在跟我的貓玩

Oh, here she is.

啊，她就在那裏

-No freakin' way! -What?!

絕對不要!-什麼?!

Could you open the door for me?

你可以幫我開門嗎?

-Well, why not? -No, no, no, no.

啊，為什麼不行? -不，不，不，不

I'm not going that way,

我不要往那邊去

She's hungry, come on.

她餓了，快來嘛

She's hungry, please.

拜託，她餓了

No, plea --

別走，拜託--

Do you cat-sit?

你照顧貓咪嗎?

Jesse: All right, Jeana, let's see what you've got.

傑西：好了，吉娜，接下來就看你了

All right, here we go, here we go.

好了，我們來了，我們來了

Can you help me to my car?

可以幫我拿到車上嗎?

Thank you.

謝謝

Say you hurt yourself trying to save a stray today.

跟他說你為了救一個流浪兒在今天受傷

I was trying to save a stray cat near the zoo.

我在動物園附近試著救一隻流浪貓

I have it here in the car right now.

那隻貓現在就在車裡

She's here with me in the car.

她跟我在一起

What should we do with it?

我們要怎麼做

What should we do with it?

我們要怎麼做

I don't know.

我不知道

I'm gonna open the door, and you grab her.

等下我會開門，你就抓住他

I'll open the door, and you could grab her.

等下我會開門，你就抓住他

Yeah, yeah, yeah, look.

看這個

You don't want to touch her?

你不想碰她嗎?

Do you think I'm crazy?

你以為我瘋了?

No. Hell no.-Hell no?

不，當然不要-不要?

Okay.

好吧

Thank you.

謝謝你

-Give him a hug. -Thank you.

給他一個抱抱-謝謝你

Thank you so much.

真的非常感謝你

Oh, no, no, no.

喔，不，不，不

Oh, he tried to get her number!

哦，他在跟他要電話!

Ew!

唉呦

I have a cat, and I tripped over her.

我有隻貓，我不小心被她絆倒了

She's really big.

她真的超級大隻

Yeah, that's my cat.

是的，那就是我的貓

Good lord! Stop it.

我的媽呀! 別鬧了

Why do you think I have all that meat?

不然你覺得我怎麼會買那些肉?

Who's the wrangler？ I am.

誰是馴獸師?-就是我

You are -- stop it.

你是--不可能

I mean, I'm trying to be.

我是說，我正在努力中

Here we go. Prank time, you ready?

我們開始吧。你準備好惡作劇了嗎?

Now let's see what Vitaly can do.

現在，來看維塔利怎麼做

All right, V, you hear me?

行了，維，你聽得到我嗎?

Yeah, we ready?

有，我們好了嗎?

Yeah, yeah, we're ready.

好，我們準備好了

Excuse me, mamacita, can you help me with my bags, please?

不好意思，美女，請問你可以幫我拿這袋東西嗎?

-Where are you going? -Right here, this car.

你要去哪裡?-就在這邊，那輛車

I'm around the corner.

就在附近

Huh?

蛤?

No, you don't... You don't have to open it.

不，你不用...你不需要開門

No, no, no, no, no, no!

不，不— —

Where is your automobile?

你的車在哪?

This is my car.

這台是我的車

No, no, no!

不，不要啊!

Don't open the door.

不要開門

[ Gasps ] Vitaly, you cannot let her open the door!

維塔莉，快阻止她開門

Don't open the door!

不要打開門!

Thank you. That's it, that's it.

謝謝你，這樣就行了

You can't open it. Open it, bite you.

你不能打開。你開了，會被咬的

What the hell, man?

搞什麼鬼?

I like this. Let's keep going.

我喜歡，繼續看下去

Excuse me.

不好意思

Ma'am, could you help me, please?

女士，請問你可以幫我嗎?

Do you lift or what?

你有在健身嗎?

"Do you lift or what?"

你健身嗎?

Thank you so much.

非常謝謝

Talk about how you have to feed your animal.

談談你怎麼餵你的寵物

I gotta feed my dog.

我得餵我的狗

Yeah, dog is very big.

是啊，很大隻的狗

Here's my car.

這就是我的車了

Big dog.

大狗

Here.

給你

Can you please put it in?

請你幫我放進去好嗎?

What?

什麼?

No, I don't want to.

不，我不要

Please.

拜託

Please, please, please!

拜託，求求你了!

Please!

拜託

She's still running. She ran into the store!

她還在跑，跑進店裡了!

Yo, Vitaly, I [bleep] love you!

維塔利，我[嗶]愛死你了

There's no way to beat that reaction.

沒有比這更好笑的反應了