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  • IN THE TIME THAT I'VE BEEN HERE, I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING THE

  • PRESIDENTIAL RACE AND I'VE NOTICED A FEW PIECES OF

  • CONVENTIONAL WISDOM HAVE FORMED AROUND THE CANDIDATES.

  • NONE MORE THAN WITH DONALD TRUMP.

  • >> SIX IN 10 AMERICANS BELIEVE TRUMP IS UNQUALIFIED TO SERVE AS

  • PRESIDENT.

  • >> HE'S NOT QUALIFIED TO BE PRESIDENT.

  • >> UNFIT TO BE PRESIDENT.

  • >> UNFIT TO BE COMMANDER IN CHIEF.

  • >> THE "DES MOINES REGISTER" WRITING TRUMP IS, "NOT ONLY

  • UNFIT TO HOLD OFFICE BUT UNFIT TO STAND ON THE SAME STAGE AS

  • HIS REPUBLICAN OPPONENTS."

  • >> Trevor: HE'S UNFIT FOR THAT STAGE?

  • NO, THAT STAGE IS UNFIT FOR TRUMP.

  • THERE'S NO MARBLE, NO GOLD.

  • WHERE ARE THE WOMEN IN BIKINIS?

  • AND HOW WOULD HE EVEN GET THERE?

  • THERE'S NO ESCALATOR.

  • COME ON, PEOPLE.

  • SO THE COMPLAINTS ABOUT TRUMP IS THAT HE'S UNPRESIDENTIAL, AND IT

  • STEMS FROM CERTAIN STATEMENTS THAT HE'S MADE.

  • >> WHEN MEXICO SENDS ITS PEOPLE, THEY'RE BRINGING DRUGS.

  • THEY'RE BRINGING CRIME, THEIR RAPISTS, AND SOME, I ASSUME, ARE

  • GOOD PEOPLE.

  • >> Trevor: AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY-- WHEN YOU ASSUME

  • YOU'RE THE BEST AT ASSUMING.

  • TRUMP.

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • I KNOW THESE COMMENT ABOUT IMMIGRANTS WERE UPSETTING TO

  • SOME PEOPLE, BUT FOR ME AS AN AFRICAN, THERE'S JUST

  • SOMETHING FAMILIAR ABOUT TRUMP THAT MAKES ME FEEL AT HOME.

  • >> THE INFLUX OF ILLEGAL MIGRANTS, CRIME, UNFAIR BUSINESS

  • PRACTICES, DRUGS.

  • >> IT IS ALSO NOT TRUE THAT ALL FOREIGN NATIONALS ARE INVOLVED

  • IN CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES.

  • THERE ARE SOME WHO ARE, BUT NOT ALL OF THEM.

  • >> Trevor: I LOVE HOW WE ALL WAIT, HE'S NOT SO-- AHH.

  • THAT IS SOUTH AFRICAN PRESIDENT JACOB ZUMA SOUNDING A LOT LIKE

  • DONALD TRUMP.

  • YOU SEE, THAT SIR, LIKE XENOPHOBIA WITH A I DASH OF

  • DIPLOMACY, WHICH IS ALSO THE TITLE OF PAULA DEEN'S NEW BOOK.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • SO I DON'T SEE WHAT'S UNPRESIDENTIAL ABOUT DONALD

  • TRUMP.

  • I MEAN, HERE'S ANOTHER THING HE UNNECESSARILY TOOK HEAT FOR.

  • >> AUTISM HAS BECOME AN EPIDEMIC.

  • THE BEAUTIFUL CHILD WENT TO HAVE THE VACCINE, AND CAME BACK AND A

  • WEEK LATER GOT A TREMENDOUS FEVER, GOT VERY, VERY SICK, NOW

  • IS AUTISTIC.

  • >> Trevor: NOW, WAS THAT FACTUAL?

  • NO.

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • BUT WAS IT PRESIDENTIAL?

  • DEPENDS WHERE YOU COME FROM.

  • >> GAMBIAN PRESIDENT YAHYA JAMMEH SAYS HE CAN CURE AIDS

  • WITH HERBS AND BANANAS.

  • HE ADMITS THERE'LL ALWAYS BE SOME SKEPTICS, BUT HE SAYS

  • QUOTE, MINE IS NOT AN ARGUMENT, MIND IS PROOF.

  • IT'S A DECLARATION.

  • I CAN CURE AIDS, AND I WILL.

  • >> Trevor: THAT IS RIGHT RIGHT.

  • THE PRESIDENT OF GAMBIA SAYS HE CAN CURE AIDS WITH BANANAS, AND

  • I CAN ALSO CURE CANCER, USING AIDS!

  • IF ONLY I HADN'T CURED ALL THAT AIDS.

  • AAHHH!

  • CRAZY THINGS.

  • BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY.

  • WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS DONALD TRUMP IS PRESIDENTIAL.

  • HE JUST HAPPENS TO BE RUNNING ON THE WRONG CONTINENT.

  • IN FACT, ONCE YOU REALIZE THAT TRUMP IS BASICALLY THE PERFECT

  • AFRICAN PRESIDENT, YOU START TO NOTICE THE SIMILARITIES

  • EVERYWHERE.

  • LIKE THE LEVEL OF SELF-REGARD.

  • >> I SAY NOT IN A BRAGGADOCIOUS WAY, I'VE MADE BILLIONS AND

  • BILLIONS OF DOLLARS.

  • I MADE A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF MONEY.

  • I'M REALLY RICH.

  • I HAVE A GREAT TEMPERAMENT.

  • THEY LOVE ME ANYWAY, I DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

  • I'VE DONE AN AMAZING JOB.

  • I WAS BORN WITH A CERTAIN INTELLECT.

  • GOD HELPED ME BY GIVING ME A CERTAIN BRAIN.

  • >> Trevor: I BET THAT'S THE ONE TIME GOD IS LIKE, "I TONIGHT

  • NEED THE PRAISE, IT'S COOL.

  • THAT'S YOU, THAT'S YOU. I'M COOL.

  • IS THAT EXTRAORDINARY LEVEL OF BRAGGING PRESIDENTIAL?

  • LET'S ASK A MAN WHO ACTUALLY WAS PRESIDENT.

  • IDI AMIN, FORMER PRESIDENT AND BEST PRESIDENT OF UGANDA.

  • >> PEOPLE LOVE ME VERY MUCH.

  • I AM VERY POPULAR.

  • I AM VERY POWERFUL.

  • I AM THE LONE WHO HAS GOT THE MONEY.

  • I HAVE GOT A VERY GOOD BRAIN.

  • >> Trevor: I HAVE A VERY GOOD BRAIN, AND I KNOW THIS BECAUSE

  • EVERY TIME I ASK PEOPLE IF I HAVE A GOOD BRAIN, THEY SAY,

  • OF COURSE, MR. PRESIDENT.

  • NOW PLEASE LET ME FAMILY GO, YOU'VE ALREADY KILLED MY

  • SISTER.

  • I THINK YOU PROVED YOUR POINT.

  • JUST TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE KNEW HOW SUCCESSFUL HE WAS, IDI AMIN

  • INSISTED ON ALWAYS BEING TO BE REFERRED TO BY HIS FULL TITLE --

  • AND THIS IS COMPLETELY TRUE.

  • HIS EXCELLENCY PRESIDENT FOR LIFE, FIELD MARSHALL, DR. IDI

  • AMIN DADA, V.C, D.S.O., M.C., LORD OF ALL THE BEASTS OF THE

  • EARTH AND FISHES OF THE SEA AND CONQUEROR OF THE BRITISH EMPIRE

  • IN AFRICA IN GENERAL AND UGANDA IN PARTICULAR.

  • LUCKILY IDI AMIN DIDN'T OWN ANY CASINOS.

  • IN FACT, TRUMP IS SO AFRICAN PRESIDENTIAL, HE'S ALREADY AT

  • THE LEVEL OF ZIMBABWE'S PRESIDENT, ROBERT MUGABE, WHOSE

  • BRUTALITY AND OPPRESSIVE TACTICS HAVE KEPT HIM IN POWER FOR 35

  • YEARS.

  • >> MY PEOPLE HAVE GREAT PRAISE FOR ME.

  • >> PEOPLE LOVE ME, EVERYBODY LOVES ME.

  • >> THE LITTLE MAN.

  • >> HE'S VERY LOW ENERGY.

  • >> LAND IS OURS, IT'S NOT EUROPEAN.

  • IT'S OUR LAND.

  • AND WE HAVE TAKEN IT.

  • >> WE'LL TAKE OUR COUNTRY BACK.

  • >> WE WILL WIN. WE WIN ALL THE TIME.

  • >> WE WILL HAVE SO MUCH WINNING, IF I GET ELECTED, THAT YOU MAY

  • GET BORED WITH WINNING.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • >> Trevor: I FEEL LIKE I'M WINNING RIGHT NOW!

  • IT'S REALLY GREAT TO KNOW IF ANYTHING EVER HAPPENS TO TRUMP

  • WE HAVE A BACKUP COPY IN AFRICA.

  • I LIKE THAT.

  • ACTUALLY, NOW THEY THINK ABOUT IT, TRUMP REMINDS ME OF ONE

  • AFRICAN LEADER IN PARTICULAR.

  • WEIRD HAIR?

  • CHECK.

  • LAVISH LIFESTYLE?

  • CHECK.

  • FRINGE, DISCREDITED VIEWS ABOUT PRESIDENT OBAMA'S ORIGINS?

  • >> ( translated ): AND ALONG CAME A BLACK CITIZEN OF KENYAN

  • AFRICAN ORIGIN, A MUSLIM.

  • HIS NAME IS OBAMA.

  • >> Trevor: CHECK.

  • OH, AND THERE'S ONE MORE THING.

  • >> GADDAFI PUT UP A TENT IN THE TOWN OF BEDFORD ABOUT 40 MILES

  • OUTSIDE OF NEW YORK CITY, THE PROPERTY IN WESTCHESTER COUNTY,

  • WHERE THEY'RE SETTING UP THAT TENT IS OWNED BY NONE OTHER THAN

  • DONALD TRUMP.

  • >> Trevpr: THAT'S RIGHT.

  • WHEN MUAMMAR GADHAFI CAME TO AMERICA, HE COULD HAVE STAYED

  • ANYWHERE, BUT ONLY PLACE HE FELT TRULY AT HOME WAS IN DONALD

  • TRUMP'S YARD.

  • NOW JUST, BY THE WAY, OUR LAWYERS TOLD US WE HAVE TO

  • MENTION THAT TRUMP TOLD GADHAFI TO TAKE THE TENT DOWN, AND YOU

  • SEE, YOU TO BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT DONALD TRUMP IN

  • PUBLIC.

  • NOT UNLIKE AN AFRICAN PRESIDENT.

  • I UNDERSTAND THAT TRUMP IS A LITTLE SCARY.

  • AND A LITTLE EXOTIC FOR SOME.

  • A LITTLE OUT OF AMERICA'S COMFORT ZONE.

  • BUT THIS GREAT COUNTRY IS CAPABLE OF BOLD LEAPS.

  • IT TOOK ONE IN 2008 WHEN IT ELECTED ITS FIRST BLACK

  • PRESIDENT AND NOW IN 2016, I SAY IT IS TIME TO BE BOLD ONCE MORE

  • AND ELECT AMERICA'S FIRST AFRICAN PRESIDENT.

  • AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS, WHEN A TRUE AFRICAN FINALLY ENTERS THE

  • OVAL OFFICE THE PEOPLE OF AFRICA WILL ERUPT INTO SONGING OF

  • PRAISE.

  • (SPEAKING IN XHOSA)... MEXICAN RAPISTS.

IN THE TIME THAT I'VE BEEN HERE, I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING THE

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特雷弗-諾亞的每日秀--唐納德-特朗普。美國的非洲裔總統 (The Daily Show with Trevor Noah - Donald Trump: America's African President)

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