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字幕列表 影片播放

  • - Pork E. adjusted his silver codpiece,

    小箭整理一下他銀色的遮陰布

  • flexed his well-sculpted glutes,

    屈身展示他精心操練的臀部

  • and prepared for the biggest battle of his life

    準備他人生中與納茲蚊女皇

  • with Nags the Mosqueezo.

    最大的決鬥

  • But what he didn't know was that she had just given birth

    但他不知道的是她剛剛生育了

  • to 12,000 baby mosqueezos!

    一萬二千隻幼蚊女皇!

  • Disengage, Dingernauts.

    別開戰,迪傑黨

  • We don't shoot mothers in space.

    我們不能在宇宙擊斃孕育生命的媽媽

  • - Dinger.

    迪傑

  • - Everyone, you're in for a treat.

    大家,你們聽到這消息將會很高興

  • Meet my coworker Mads--

    來認識我的同事邁茲

  • the inspiration for the evil overlord Nags the Mosqueezo.

    由她作靈感而啟發出的來邪惡霸主納茲蚊女皇!

  • all: Ooh.

    噢⋯

  • - It really does look like she had 12,000 babies.

    她確實像有生育過一萬二千隻嬰兒的母親

  • - [scoffs]

    [嘲笑]

  • [upbeat music]

    [歡樂音樂]

  • - This is America

    這裡是美國

  • Land of dreams

    夢想之地

  • Everyone can climb higher

    每個人都能攀更高

  • - Not you, though

    無可能

  • - You're stuck here

    你被捆在這

  • - 'Cause you're a part-timer

    因你是個兼職生

  • - Yeah!

  • - You can do anything

    你能做任何事

  • - As long it's not hard

    只要是不太困難

  • - And you can go anywhere

    你能去任何地方

  • - As soon as you get a car

    只要你有一輛車

  • - You're gonna be a huge success

    你能夠得到名譽

  • - Come on, that's not who you are

    別傻了這不是你自己

  • - You're a part-timer cursed with full-time dreams

    你是被詛咒的兼職生擁有個全職夢

  • And this low-paying job

    這個低工資的工作

  • Is as bad as it seems

    真的非常糟糕

  • Bad as it seems

    真的非常糟糕

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

    你在這裡幹什麼呀

  • Whoa

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

    你在這裡幹什麼呀

  • Oh

  • Seriously, dude. - Like, what the [bleep]?

    兄弟,認真的, 你在這裡幹什麼呀?

  • [creaks]

    《Smosh - 兼職生第一季第七集:失敗同人誌》

  • [crashes]

    《Smosh - 兼職生第一季第七集:失敗同人誌》

  • - Dinger's fan fiction is really good.

    迪傑的同人誌很好看。

  • - You're only saying that

    你認同的原因

  • because he gave Pork E. a huge wang.

    只是因為他給小箭一個巨型下體。

  • - No, because he nailed me perfectly,

    才不是,因為他畫得一模一樣,

  • down to the huge wang.

    由頭直到巨型下體。

  • - Well, you're the only one he nailed.

    只有你那個角色設計得好。

  • Ella has a third boob that shoots lasers from the nipple.

    艾拉有第三個胸可以在乳頭射出激光。

  • - Yeah, Ermagerd and her third

    沒錯, 噢邁割和她的第三個

  • are intergalactic bounty hunters.

    是星際賞金獵人。

  • I need that tit.

    我需要那個胸。

  • - So it's just me that he got wrong.

    所以他只把我的角色設計得不對。

  • Nags, a giant mosquito overlord?

    納茲,一個巨型蚊子霸王?

  • - My character's a little off too.

    我的角色也有點不對。

  • - You're an anxiety-ridden robotic caterpillar

    你是個憂心忡忡毛毛蟲機器人

  • with an android butterfly growing inside you.

    內裡有個成長中的機械蝴蝶。

  • It's a euphemism for puberty.

    這是形容青春期的委婉說法。

  • - Crap.

    真是的。

  • Nailed it.

    說中了。

  • [indistinct chatter]

    [換畫面和遊戲聲效]

  • - Push from your core. Tighten your butthole.

    用你核心肌肉的力去推,收緊你的屁眼。

  • Now stop.

    好,停。

  • Pete, this new parking spot is gonna shave

    皮特,我上班路程會因為這個新的停車位

  • a full 35 seconds off my work walk.

    而減去整整三十五秒。

  • And you know what I always say, right?

    而你知道我一直說的那句話嗎?

  • - No.

    不知道。

  • - ABCT-- "Always be cutting time."

    ABCT——「不停的減去時間。」

  • - Roger that.

    收到。

  • - You know what you get when you cut time, right?

    你知道當你減去時間能得到什麼嗎?

  • - No. - You create time.

    不知道。 你製造時間。

  • And with that time,

    你所製造的時間

  • take it, lock it away for the future.

    抓住,鎖住留給未來。

  • You know what this spot needs?

    你知道這裡需要什麼?

  • Some class.

    一些高尚。

  • You know that guy that owns that nightclub down the street?

    你知道街上那個擁有間夜場的人嗎?

  • He can give us a killer deal on some velvet rope.

    他可以給我們超棒的交易去換一些天鵝絨繩。

  • - "Velvet rope"? - Oh, you hear that?

    「天鵝絨繩」? 噢,你聽到嗎?

  • Oh, that's time slipping away, slipping away, slipping away.

    那是時間正在溜走⋯

  • Come on, Pete. - I feel my life slipping away.

    去吧,皮特。 我覺得我的生命正在溜走。

  • - What the-- [clicks tongue]

    幹嘛⋯

  • Anton, we ain't got time for that.

    安東,我們沒有時間去理會這事。

  • - This is created time, Lori.

    這是製造時間,洛瑞。

  • This time doesn't even exist yet.

    時間還沒存在。

  • - Okay, great. I'll be at the Korean spa for about five hours.

    太好了。我會做五小時的韓國水療。

  • Don't call.

    別聯絡我。

  • - I'll just be enjoying my new executive parking spot.

    我在這裡享受我的新行政停車位。

  • It's gonna look so good with a velvet rope.

    天鵝絨繩會令這裡變得更好看。

  • - So, in conclusion,

    總結來說,

  • the conversion rate is 17 gravitons to one Uncle Sam.

    兌換率是十七個重力子換一個山姆大叔。

  • Great question.

    好問題。

  • - I have a question.

    我有個問題。

  • - You, shorty in the front.

    你,前面那個矮子。

  • - [sighs, clears throat]

    [嘆氣,清理喉嚨]

  • I just feel like in your description

    我總覺得在你的角色描述裡

  • of Nags the Mosqueezo,

    的納茲蚊女皇,

  • there's an overlooked core of helpfulness and efficiency

    忽視了樂於助人和有效率的核心

  • that is missing from your description

    消失在你的描述裡

  • and makes her feel, perhaps, unseen.

    而讓她覺得,可能,被忽視。

  • - So what's your question?

    所以你的問題是什麼?

  • - Why does my character suck?

    為什麼我的角色這麼爛?

  • - Oh, 'cause she needs blood to survive.

    噢,因為他要吸血去維持生命。

  • - "Exorctly." [watch alarm beeping]

    「妹挫」

  • Dingernauts, you're in for a treat--

    迪傑黨,你們聽到這消息將會很高興——

  • the showstopper of the tour.

    是這次遊覽的導遊。

  • Take five, and I'll be back in a "nanojiff."

    休息五分鐘,我會穿上噴射背包很快回來。

  • And remember to hold on to your nuts,

    記得守住你們的果實,

  • because they're about to be blown into space!

    因為它們將被吹入宇宙!

  • - [sighs]

    [嘆氣]

  • Ugh, back off.

    啊,走開。

  • And sit down. God!

    還有坐下來。天啊!

  • Stand up.

    站起來。

  • Sit down.

    坐下來。

  • Clean that table.

    清理那張桌子。

  • - Nag us, Nags.

    嘮叨我們吧,納茲。

  • - We can take it. - We love it.

    我們能容忍的。我們很喜歡的。

  • - We not be so unwise as to deny the command

    我們不會不明智的拒絕服從

  • of the most feared overlord in all the land.

    地上最可怕的霸王的命令。

  • - Way to commit, Jeff.

    很好的方法去承認,傑夫。

  • - Okay, well, when you're finished with the tables,

    好吧,當你完成清潔後,

  • you can degrease all the joysticks,

    你們去把操縱桿油污清理,

  • and you can unclog all the holes in the air-hockey table.

    你們清理空氣曲棍球桌子中的洞。

  • Ah, there is so much to get done.

    嗯,有這麼多事能夠完成。

  • - Now, this is how you ABE--

    現在,這就是你怎樣ABE

  • "Always be 'executivizing.'" - I'll write that down.

    「總是不停地『執政性地』。」 我會記下來的。

  • - "Initiativizing"-- I like it.

    「主動性地」我喜歡。

  • [horn honks]

    [喇叭聲]

  • I know! Cool spot, right?

    我知道!很棒的地點,對嗎?

  • - Sir, we need you to move your vehicle

    先生,我們需要你移動你的車輛

  • so we can get to the Dumpster.

    讓我們可以靠近垃圾箱。

  • - Oh, uh, actually, new thing--

    哦,嗯,其實,新消息

  • I'm gonna need you to come around my spot

    我會需要你以四十五度角繞過來

  • at a 45-degree angle, then about-face to the left.

    然後左轉彎去到我這位置。

  • - We're not pulling into the lot.

    我們才不會駛進去。

  • We've gotten stuck back there before.

    我們以前在裡面卡住了。

  • Also, we don't have to-- union rules.

    而且,我們也不需要這樣做因為工會規則。

  • - Oh, the union.

    噢,工會。

  • [bell dings]

    [鈴聲]

  • - [sighs] We'll do you a favor,

    我們幫你一個忙,

  • and we'll come back at the end of our route.

    我們完成原來路線後就會回來。

  • Just put the Dumpster back, okay?

    請把垃圾桶搬回來,好嗎?

  • [truck beeping]

    [貨車鳴聲]

  • - Quick tip, Pete--

    小提示,皮特

  • "The union" is code for "grease the wheels,"

    代號「工會」指「讓事件變得順暢」。

  • and "grease the wheels" is code for "bribe me."

    代號「讓事件變得順暢」指「賄賂我」。

  • [vacuum cleaner whirring]

    [吸塵器呼呼聲]

  • - Clean deeper, harder.

    用力點,乾淨點。

  • - Dingernauts, may I introduce to you the master of his craft,

    迪傑黨,我向大家介紹了他的大師級手藝,

  • the lord of deep space,

    宇宙深淵之王,

  • the savior of the known universe and our god--

    我們宇宙的救世主和我們的上帝

  • the Pork E. Pine!

    小箭豬先生!

  • - Are you guys ready to rock, antigravity style?

    你們準備好搖滾,反重力風格嗎?

  • Not this time, Schwartzman.

    你這次沒得逞,施瓦茲曼。

  • - Come on up for a group picture.

    來吧影一張大合照。

  • - Halt! Where do you think you're going?

    停!你們想去那?

  • There's still gum underneath half of these tables.

    還有一半的桌子下面黏著口香糖。

  • Keep cleaning.

    繼續清潔。

  • - What have you done with my people?

    你對我的手下做過什麼事?

  • - These are my people now,

    他們是我的手下了,

  • and as you said in "Pork Apocalypto" chapter 8,

    正如你所說在「小箭啟示錄」第八章,

  • "There's no loyalty in space."

    「宇宙裡是沒有忠誠度。」

  • - [wails] Hoisted by my own petard!

    自食其果!

  • - Waah!

    哇!

  • - They're coming!

    他們來了!

  • - Make sure they can really see the soap.

    確保他們能看得到肥皂。

  • - You didn't give me a walkie-talkie!

    你沒給我一部對講機!

  • - Hide, Pete!

    皮特,躲起來!

  • Hide!

    躲起來!

  • [mysterious music]

    [神秘音樂]

  • Take it. Take it.

    拿去吧。

  • [truck door closes]

    [貨車門關上]

  • Oh!

    噢!

  • [truck beeping]

    [貨車蜂鳴聲]

  • - They didn't like it!

    他們不喜歡!

  • - Just clean it up.

    清理掉。

  • - What'd you say?

    你說什麼?

  • - Toss it!

    把它扔掉。

  • You know, this is a valuable lesson, Pete.

    你要知道這是一個寶貴的教訓,皮特。

  • Some men can't be bought,

    有些人是不受賄賂,

  • and some unions can't be defeated.

    有些工會不被打敗。

  • Always be knowing when to hold 'em

    要知道什麼時候繼續撲克,

  • and when to fold 'em.

    什麼時候棄牌。

  • Fold 'em.

    棄牌。

  • - What are you doing? - We're taking our payment.

    你們在做什麼? 我們正在拿取工資。

  • - You're not stealing our balls.

    你不能偷我們的球。

  • - Balls? These are gravitons.

    球?這些都是重力子。

  • And we had a contract. - No, we didn't.

    而且我們有簽合同。 錯,我們沒有。

  • - Episode one, section three, the contract states--

    第一集,第三節,合同⋯

  • - Okay, this is real life.

    這是現實。

  • You do not steal balls from kids, you Dingernauts.

    迪傑黨,你們不能偷給孩子玩的球。

  • Plus, you do not want to take these home.

    加上,你不會希望取這些回家。

  • You know how many times we've cleaned these balls?

    你知道我們多久清理這些球嗎?

  • Never! No time.

    永不會,沒有一刻。

  • - [sniffs] - But...

    但是⋯

  • we worked hard for these gravitons.

    我們為這些而努力工作。

  • - Well, you're not taking them.

    你們不能拿回家。

  • - The Mosqueezo has shown her true form.

    蚊女皇向我們展示真實形態。

  • - Just like she did before the fall of the Laser Locusts.

    就像她以前擊倒激光蝗蟲一樣。

  • - We will succeed where the Laser Locusts failed.

    我們會成功打倒她不會像激光蝗蟲一樣被擊倒。

  • Let the rebellion begin!

    叛亂開始!

  • [all imitating alarm blaring]

    [模仿高音警報]

  • - Stop it!

    停下來!

  • Dinger, your idiot fans are robbing us.

    迪傑,你的白痴支持者搶劫我們。

  • - It's the uprising.

    這是暴亂。

  • Have they taken any hostages?

    他們有人質嗎?

  • - You aren't leaving until you crap out a butterfly!

    直到你成為一隻蝴蝶前你不能離開!

  • - I hate, hate, hate, hate to admit this,

    我討厭承認這點,

  • but I think we're gonna need to work together.

    但我認為我們需要一起合作。

  • - Nags the Mosqueezo joining the forces of good...

    納茲蚊女皇加盟⋯

  • interesting plot twist.

    有趣的情節轉折。

  • Would you swear allegiance to me?

    你會對我宣誓效忠?

  • - As Nags the Mosqueezo,

    作為納茲蚊女皇

  • I declare that you may keep all the gravitons

    我宣布,你可以保留所有

  • you have rightfully earned.

    你們理所當然得到的重力子。

  • - But as VIP Dingernauts,

    但作為至尊會員的迪傑黨,

  • you now have the opportunity to purchase passes

    你現在有機會購買我們旅遊的通行證

  • to see the last feature of our tour--

    去看最後的景點

  • Ermagerd and her third.

    噢邁割和她的第三個。

  • - Wait. The whole thing or just the nipple?

    等等,是整個胸還是只有亂頭?

  • - All of it, for all of your gravitons.

    全部重力子看整個胸。

  • [all whispering indistinctly]

    [隱約竊竊私語]

  • - Deal. - Thank God.

    成交。謝天謝地。

  • Hand over the balls.

    交出所有球。

  • - Welcome.

    歡迎。

  • Come closer, and I will reveal the third to you.

    走近一點,我將會給你揭示第三個。

  • [magical futuristic music]

    [神奇未來音樂]

  • - Boobs are magic.

    巨乳真的很神奇。

  • - Help!

    救命!

  • Anyone?

    有沒有人?

  • Puberty's a bitch.

    青春期是一個婊子。

- Pork E. adjusted his silver codpiece,

小箭整理一下他銀色的遮陰布

字幕與單字

影片操作 你可以在這邊進行「影片」的調整,以及「字幕」的顯示

B1 中級 中文 女皇 皮特 清理 工會 宇宙 角色

【CC中英字幕】Smosh - 兼職生第一季第七集:失敗同人誌 (【CC中英字幕】Smosh - 兼職生第一季第七集:失敗同人誌)

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    呂旻鴻 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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