This is AA, and I'm here to share my experience, within regret

這是 AA, 而我在這裏是 分享我, 在是後悔的 體歴

and I found, an interesting point

而我發現, 一個很有趣的 點位

a point that, has been

一點這, 一直是

'prominent', throughout my existence

很 '突顯著', 透貫我整個存在裏

and that is

而這就是

accepting, and allowing myself to

不斷接受, 和容許著 我自己去

to fear, dieing!

去 害怕, 死去!

(smile)

(笑)

to fear, 'not existing'

去害怕, '不再存在'

and, because of that fear

而, 基於因為這種 害怕

I did 'not' accept, and allow myself to

我 '没'有 接受, 和容許 我自己去

to 'speak', to 'act' to 'stand up' and do everything, and anything possible and

'說出來', '做行動' 和用盡一切, 和任何一切 可能做 和

Risk! everything, of myself, everything and all, that I perceived to be important, or valuable

冒!上 我自己的一切 和所有, 這些我自視 對我重要, 或慎重價值的

and 'speak out', and express, and act and do anything, and everything 'possible'

並 '說出來', 和表現, 和行動 和做盡一切, 和所有 '可能做'的

to stop! direct! sort out

要停止! 指揮! 整理好

What I, in common sense, 'saw' was unacceptable

這個我, 在一般通悉察覺裏, 當 '看見到'是 不能接受的

and, I saw through out my existence, as I went through everything that I had experienced

而, 在我存在裏 我一直 看見到, 當我歴遍透 所有我 體驗過的時

that I had, so many opportunities! to make a difference, meaning to

這我有, 極極多的機會! 來幹出貢獻糾正, 指是

to 'stop' something or someone, from what they were, 'existing as'

是要 '停止' 某些 或某人, 停制止他們 '一直都存在是' 那樣下去

and continue- and continuing that I

並繼續- 並不斷繼續 這我

'Knew' was compromising! themselves compromising other beings

'己知道' 當時 正不斷危及! 他們自己 危及傷害 其他人仕

but I didn't, because of fear

但我没有做, 基於因為 害怕

because of

基於因為

fear of losing, my own self definition - according to something, or someone

害怕 會失去, 我自己 - 根據某些, 或某人 的自己-界定義

and, as I went through my entire existence, with my experience within it, I could see

而, 當我歴透 我整個存在, 有我的體驗 在它裏面, 我可以看出

How, me 'not' standing up, how me, 'not' Speaking how me 'not acting'

怎樣, 我 '不堅站起來', 我怎樣, '不說出來' 我怎樣 '不做行動'

played, a very significant role, within where and how we are, 'at this very moment'

在我們 '現在這刻' 正處在那位置 和怎樣來到裏, 扮演了, 一個 十分重要的角色

and that point right there, was also part of 'why' I

而這就在這處, 也同樣一部份 我 '為什麼'

'Wanted to end everything'

'當時想要 終結所有一切'

wanted to, 'stopped' everything wanted to 'just get out of here'

想要, '終止' 所有一切 '只想要 離開這裏'

because I, couldn't live with myself I couldn't "bear"

因為我, 不能 活對著我自己 我不能 '忍受'

existing, within what I knew, I did, 'and I did nothing about it'

存在著, 在 我知道裏面, 我做過的, '而我 對它什麼也 没理會處理'過它

I just continue doing the 'exact same thing', for eons of time

我只是 持續做著這 '徹底相同樣的事', 做了 數不清的時期

and I 'was aware' in those moments, 'I knew I was aware'

而我 '當時是察覺'的 在那些時刻裏, '我知道 我是察覺的'

but yet I so easily and so simply, 'just shut the door', in that moment and

但然而我 那麼容易 和那麼簡單的, 就在那一刻, '只關上門' 並

accepted and allowed 'ignorance'

接受 和容許了 '無知'(ignorance)

But I realized! that, I'm Here

但我察覺到! 這, 我是 這裏

there is no way to, 'destroy' (smile) this existence, I've ~ tried (laugh)

這是没任何方法可, '毁滅' (笑) 這存在的, 我已 ~ 試過 (笑)

I've done

我已做過

and attempted, 'any and all methods possible'

和嘗試了, '任何和 所有可能的 方法'

while within my experience of regret

當我處在我是 後悔

and shame, and sorrow and sadness

和羞恥, 和哀傷 和悲痛 體驗裏時

but what I also found fascinating is that

但我同時發現 奇妙的是這

we have a tendency of wanting to give up 'so quickly', so fast, that

我們有傾向 '極快' 就想著要 放棄, 那麼極快, 這

We don't consider, that maybe possibly facing, this that I'm experiencing inside myself

我們不考慮, 這或許有可能, 這個我正 在我自己裏面 驗驗著的

'is the key'

就 '是重點鑰匙'

that would, liberate me from, 'my past'

這會, 從 '我的過往'裏, 解放我

because in essence regret, can only exist

因為在 後悔的 精質, 只可能存在於

in judgments, of the past, in judgment of yourself of the past

在對, 過往的 批判, 在對是 你自己的 過往

and judgment, is when you 'observe you' within your past, from a point of 'opinion'

而批判, 是當你 '審視' 你在你過往的你, 出於一個 '觀點'(opinion)

instead of 'insight', realization, and common sense in self-honesty

而不是 在自己-誠實裏的 '洞悉'(insight), 察覺, 和一般通悉察覺

what I realized I have done is, constantly and continuously, existed in regret

我察覺到 我以往做的是, 恒久的 和不斷的, 存在後悔裏

and and- and shame, and sorrow and judgment! and sadness because of my past

和 和- 和羞恥, 和哀傷 和批判! 和悲痛裏 因為我的過往

because of, 'what I have accepted and allowed'

基於因為, '我所接受 和容許'了的

and, I've asked myself the question: But why!?

而, 我問過我自己 這問題: 但為什麼!?

Why? have I always, 'carry my past', as a burden on my back through out 'eons of time'

為什麼? 我永遠, '攜帶著 我的過往', 等如是一個 我透歴了 '數不清的時期' 背負著一個 負累

and I realized that I have started 'defining myself' according to my experience

而我察覺出 這我開始 '不斷' 根據我的 體歴 '界定義了 我自己'

that, I believe that, what I am experiencing inside me 'is me'! and

這, 我信以為這, 我正在我裏面 體驗著的 就'是我'了! 而

that's as far as it goes!

這是 就盡只能夠這樣!

that point of, 'me actually being able to Forgive myself'

這, '我真確 是可以 寛恕我自己'

me! actually being able to 'change myself', didn't exist!

我! 真確的 可以 '改變我自己'的, 這點没有存在!

and in that! I realize that

而在這裏面! 我察覺出

because that point didn't exist, that point of, realization of: You know what!

因為這點没有存在過, 這點, 察覺實化: 你知道嗎!

I can forgive myself

我可以 寛恕我自己的

and in that self-forgiveness, let it go, actually stand up and change me

而在這 自己-寛恕裏, 讓放開它, 真確的 堅站起來 和 改變我

that because that point didn't exist, I didn't exist 'Here'

這因為這點 没有存在, 我當時不存在是 '這裏'

that I have, never, actually 'allow myself', to experience me 'Here', to 'live Here'

這我是, 從來没, 真確的 '容許過我自己', 來體驗我 '是這裏', 來 '活是這裏'

I have, 'grounded myself', in, what I have done 'in the past'

我, '擱淺了我自己', 在, 我所做過的 '過往'裏面

'there'

在 '那裏'

and in that, never realized - 'Here'

而在這樣, 重没有察覺出 - '這裏'

from my own experience

從我個人的 歴驗來說

give yourself the opportunity, to forgive yourself, and let go of the past

給你自己這機會, 來寛恕你自己, 並放開是 過往的

and real-lize you 'Here'

並 察覺實化(real-lize) 你 '是這裏'

no matter 'how bad', your past may seem

不管, 你的過往 可能看似 '有極壞'

self-forgiveness, you are, able to do

自己-寛恕是, 你是, 可以做出的

forgive yourself, unconditionally, let your past go inside yourself

寛恕你自己, 無底限的, 讓 放開你的過往 在你自己入面

transform and change you 'Here', in 'practical' self-action, in self-honesty

轉化 和改成你 '是這裏', 在是 '實用'的 自己-行動, 在是 自己-誠實是

and 'realize' the gift, of regret

和 '察覺實化' 這件禮物, 就是後悔

Thank you.

多謝各位

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