making fun of me. He is so not humble!

他竟敢來取笑我。很沒禮貌喔！

I gave him life and this is how he repays me?

想當初生了他，竟然用這種方式來回報我?

He has no respect for his elders. But you know what?

一點都不尊重他老子，你知道嗎?

2 can play at this game. Sticks and stones may break my bones…

棍棒和石頭也許會打斷我的骨頭

But my son? HAHAHA

但我兒子？哈哈哈，想得美

First off, you said that I'm not really funny.

首先，你說我這個人很不好笑

Okay, whatever. But you know what is?

好吧，隨便。但你知道甚麼很好笑嗎？

When you were a little baby, your wiener was so small, we all thought you are a girl.

當你還是個小寶寶，雞雞這麼小，我們一度還懷疑生了個女兒。

I told him to sit on the toilet, but he didn't.

要他坐在馬桶上，他不肯

Ugh! Now he wet his pants.

啊！果然尿濕了褲子

You wet your pants, didn't you?

吼，尿濕褲子了啦，有沒有?

!@#&%$

!@#&%$

You finished peeing?

尿完了嗎?

Wait why is the footage censored? There's nothing to hide anyways

等等，為什麼這影片要打馬賽克？反正也沒啥好隱瞞的

Plus, You said that I'm not really “manly”, but who was the one who immigrated half way

另外，你竟然敢說我不是真正的「男子漢」，但是誰敢在18歲

across the world at the age of 18 with little money to find a job AND education? And you,

移民到地球的另一邊，找到工作並且受教育，還不是我？而你呢

you are 21 years old, and you still cannot sleep without your body pillow.

已經21歲了，睡覺竟然還要死抱著一顆抱枕

Just how many does he have?

他到底有幾顆抱枕呀?

That’s so embarrassing. Not only that, I always worry about how you'll

好丟臉喔。不只如此，我總是擔心你

ever find a girlfriend because you are the worst cook I have ever

怎樣才會找到一個女朋友，你是我看過

seen in my life…

最不會煮菜的廚子

Oh My God. Dad! Dad dad dad dad! Oh my goodness! What happened? Ahhh!

哦，天呀！老爸！爸爸爸爸！哦，我的天啊！怎麼回事？唉！

Why would anybody date someone who would burn their house down? That's why, of course

為何會有女生竟然想跟會燒掉房子的男生約會呢？這就是為什麼，當然

I like Malibu more than you, look how smart she is.

我喜歡馬里布超過你，你看她多聰明。

She learns faster than you. You also said I had a poor sense of style.

她學東西也比你快。你也說我打扮太老氣很不潮。

Okay, first off, don't forget who's the one who taught you how to use hair gel

好吧，首先，不要忘了是誰教你如何使用髮膠的

Also, everyday, I don't understand why it takes you like 2 hours to get ready because

另外，我不明白為什麼你每天要花2個小時來打扮

in the end, you're still ugly.

結果，還是醜斃了

We are leaving in 5min Yeah

我們5分鐘後要出門，耶

What is he doing? He looks so stupid… I'll wait for you in the car

他在幹麻？他看起來好蠢喔......我會在車裡等你

Yeah I'm coming! Ugh, It's been 15 minutes

我來了！哎，已經15分鐘了

Finally!

終於！

Huh?

蛤？

I'm leaving without him. This is ridiculous!

我不想等他了，太扯了！

Also Jeffrey, I've seen your pictures on Instagram.

還有傑佛瑞呀，我看過你Instagram上的照片。

I think you try too hard to look good. Like why are you always touching your hair?

我覺得你想耍帥想過頭了，就像你為什麼一直在摸你的頭髮？

I'm pretty sure I don't need to try that hard and I can get more likes than you do.

我很確定，我不需要那麼拼，就會比你得到更多人按讚

[Camera sound]

（快門聲）

Okay I posted a picture on Instagram. Everyone, go give it a LIKE!

好了，我在Instagram貼了一張新照片。每個人，去按個讚！

Anyways, that's it for now. But be careful how you talk about me next time.

這次就先說這些。你千萬要小心，下一次怎麼說我。

Cause remember… what usually happens

要記得......之後會發生什麼事

[GUGH]

(嗝)