Forget that you might ever have done anything wrong yourself.

先忘記你曾經犯過的錯誤。

Take things personally. That computer broke down to be mean.

把所有事都往心裡去。那台電腦是故意壞給你看。

Constantly compare your existence with that of the happiest, most fortunate people you know.

常拿你自己和身邊看起來最開心、最幸運的人比較。

Expect that there cannot ever be traffic, and that household keys simply can't go missing.

總認為自己不會遇到塞車，家裡的鑰匙不會無緣無故地不見。

Build up isolated frustrations into giant interconnected narratives of persecution.

將這些個別的挫敗感化為相互連結的對迫害的指控。

Become very sensitive to noise, then move to a city where a lot of people are taking advantage of rising property prices to redo their homes.

變成因為對噪音很敏感並搬到另一個城市，其之中的很多人都趁房地產增值時重新裝潢房子，。

Start to notice fingerprints on walls, chipped plates, and towels on bathroom floors; see these as personal insults.

開始注意到牆上的指紋、缺角的盤子和掉在浴室地板的毛巾，把這些當作是對自己的侮辱。

Be sure not to get enough sleep, but never attribute your moods to tiredness.

不能睡太飽，但心情不好也不能說是疲憊害的。

Expect children to be grateful.

期望小孩子懂禮貌吧。

Compare your relationship to the happiest couple that the media is choosing to tell us about at the moment.

拿自己的感情和當時媒體選擇報導的幸福美滿的情侶做比較。

Attribute most issues in your life to the mendacity and shortsightedness of your partner and their family.

把你生活上大部分的事都怪罪到你伴侶的虛偽、目光短淺還有他的家人身上。

Avoid perspective.

避免對未來有遠景。

Never look at NASA images of distant galaxies.

千萬別欣賞 NASA 的遙遠銀河影像。

Find a YouTube channel or news outlet that you are almost certain to dislike.

找出你一定會討厭的 Youtube 頻道或新聞媒體。

Watch some videos and read articles, and feel very irritated by the presentation of views you strongly disagree with.

看看與你立場相抵的影片和文章，你就會很火大。

Never watch others getting angry; fail to see how absurd they can seem.

不要去看別人發火；假裝沒看見他們有多荒謬。

Develop a faith that fury is in some ways quite impressive, macho, and makes stuff happen.

把暴怒當作一種令人印象深刻、有男子氣概且讓任何事都有可能發生的信仰。

Take yourself seriously, and yet, deep down, hate who you are.

很看重自己，但打從心底是討厭自己的。

Think of laughter as a luxury you can't afford.

把「笑」看成是一種你買不起的奢侈。