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  • Anyone who lives alone and manifests no longing to be in a relationship, is in our times, almost automatically, more or less secretly, viewed as both pitiable and deeply troubled.


  • It's simply not thought possible to be at once, alone and normal.


  • This sets us up for collective catastrophe, because it means that a huge number of peoplewho have no innate wish to live with anyone else, and are at heart deeply ill-suited to doing soare every year press-ganged and shamed into conjugal life with disastrous results for all involved.


  • Only once singlehood has completely equalled prestige with its alternative, can we ensure that people will be free in their choices and hence join couples for the right reasons; because they love another person, rather than because they are terrified of remaining single.


  • Here, then, are a few of the many good reasons to spend your life alone:


  • 1. Because romantic love is a dangerous illusion.


  • We should recognize that romantic love, the idea of being deeply enamored of one special partner over a whole lifetime, is a very new, ambitious and really pretty odd concept, at best 250 years old.

    我們要知道浪漫的愛,一輩子只對另一半傾心,是個很新、需要企圖心且古怪的觀念,頂多只有 250 年的歷史。

  • From close-up, over long periods of time, almost everyone is condemned to be pretty dispiriting and difficult.


  • A good romantic marriage is evidently theoretically possible, but it's also extremely unlikely in practice, which should make any failure feel a good deal less shameful.


  • 2. No one thinks their partner is terrific - After a while.


  • Those among us who choose to stay single shouldn't be thought un-romantic.


  • Indeed, we may be among the very most romantic of all, because it is in the end the fervent romantics who should be especially careful of ending up in mediocre relationships: relationships best suit the kind of people who don't actually expect too much from them.


  • 3. We aren't sane enough to be in relationships.


  • Though it is a sign of some maturity to know how to love and live alongside someone, it is actually a sign of even greater maturity to recognise that this is something one isn't in the end gonna be psychologically capable of, as a good portion of us simply are not.


  • Retiring oneself voluntarily, in order to save others (and oneself) from the consequences of one's own inner emotional turmoil is the true sign of a great and kind soul.

    自行放下一段關係,為了救另一半 (也救自己),避免對方陷入你紊亂的情緒深淵,這才是真正的偉大與良善。

  • 4. Being alone means not inflicting yourself on others.


  • It spares you from constant reminders of how difficult and strange you are.


  • No one is there to hold a mirror up, record your antics and constantly make you accountable for them.


  • If you're lucky, you will be able to tolerate and even like yourself if you are on your own.


  • 5. Relationships spoil love.


  • It may be better to feel alone and be denied sex outside of a relationship than inside one.


  • One thing the single are never denied, is hope.


  • All this isn't to say that being alone is without problems.


  • There are of course drawbacks to both states, being single and being in a couple.


  • Loneliness in the one; suffocation, anger, and frustration in the other.


  • The truth is, we're simply not terribly good at being happy whatever our relationship status, which is ultimately an argument for neither rushing too fast into a couple nor rushing too fast out of one.


Anyone who lives alone and manifests no longing to be in a relationship, is in our times, almost automatically, more or less secretly, viewed as both pitiable and deeply troubled.


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人生課題:為什麼有時單身是比較好的選擇? (Reasons to Remain Single)

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