Name: 人生課題：為什麼有時單身是比較好的選擇？ (Reasons to Remain Single)
Uploaded: 2022-07-13T21:01:10.000Z
Duration: 3 min 58 s

程度副詞

Anyone who lives alone and manifests no longing to be in a relationship, is in our times, almost automatically, more or less secretly, viewed as both pitiable and deeply troubled.

獨居又表明不想談戀愛的人，在這個時代，幾乎或多或少秘密地被視為可悲、有問題。

情態副詞

It's simply not thought possible to be at once, alone and normal.

轉承詞

This sets us up for collective catastrophe because it means that a huge number of people—who have no innate wish to live with anyone else,

這個想法會導致災難型的群體力量，因為這代表許多不想和他人一起生活，且打從心底就不適合過群居生活的人，

and are at heart deeply ill-suited to doing so—are every year press-ganged and shamed into conjugal life with disastrous results for all involved.

他們因為怕丟臉而被迫接受和他人一起生活，對他們自己以及身邊那個人都沒有好處。

Only once singlehood has completely equaled prestige with its alternative, can we ensure that people will be free in their choices and hence join couples for the right reasons;

唯有讓單身與非單身者都受到相同的尊重，才能確保每個人都能自由地選擇，並為了對的理由談戀愛，

because they love another person, rather than because they are terrified of remaining single.

因為他們是真正愛一個人，而非因為害怕單身才這麼做。

Here, then, are a few of the many good reasons to spend your life alone:

1. Because romantic love is a dangerous illusion.

第一，因為浪漫的愛情是個危險的假象。

the idea of being deeply enamored of one special partner over a whole lifetime, is a very new, ambitious and really pretty odd concept, at best 250 years old.

一輩子只對單一人傾心，是個很新、頂多只有 250 年歷史、大膽且古怪的觀念。

From close-up, over long periods of time, almost everyone is condemned to be pretty dispiriting and difficult.

仔細想想，長時間來看，幾乎每個人都是難以相處的。

A good romantic marriage is evidently theoretically possible,

一段浪漫的完美婚姻理論上是有可能達成的，

but it's also extremely unlikely in practice, which should make any failure feel a good deal less shameful.

但卻幾乎不可能實現，不過這讓失敗的婚姻看起來不那麼丟臉了。

2. No one thinks their partner is terrific - After a while.

第二，相處一陣子後，就沒有情人眼裡出西施這回事了。

Those among us who choose to stay single shouldn't be thought un-romantic.

那些選擇單身的人不該被認為不浪漫。

Indeed, we may be among the very most romantic of all, because it is in the end the fervent romantics who should be especially careful of ending up in mediocre relationships:

實際上擁有狂熱浪漫情懷的人，最終最有可能會陷於一段普通的感情關係，

relationships best suit the kind of people who don't actually expect too much from them.

戀愛還是最適合那些對關係沒有太多期待的人。

3. We aren't sane enough to be in relationships.

第三，我們還不夠理智去談戀愛。

Though it's a sign of some maturity to know how to love and live alongside someone,

即便了解如何愛人以及和另一伴生活是種成熟的展現，

it is actually a sign of even greater maturity to recognize that this is something one isn't, in the end, gonna be psychologically capable of, as a good portion of us simply are not.

其實需要更成熟心態的是認知到，到最後其實我們心裡沒有辦法與另一半一起和睦生活，因為大多數人其實真的做不到。

Retiring oneself voluntarily, in order to save others (and oneself) from the consequences of one's own inner emotional turmoil is the true sign of a great and kind soul.

自行放下一段關係，為了救另一半 (也救自己)，避免對方陷入紊亂的情緒深淵，才是真正的偉大與良善。

4. Being alone means not inflicting yourself on others.

第四，單身代表不要讓別人遭受痛苦。

It spares you from constant reminders of how difficult and strange you are.

你就不需要一直被別人嫌有多奇怪、多難相處。

No one is there to hold a mirror up, record your antics and constantly make you accountable for them.

沒有人會拿著鏡子對著你，記錄你怪異的行為，並要你對每個怪異的舉動負責。

If you're lucky, you will be able to tolerate and even like yourself if you are on your own.

假如幸運，單身的你能自己忍受自己，並喜歡自己。

It may be better to feel alone and be denied sex outside of a relationship than inside one.

如果不是情侶關係，感到孤單或被拒絕上床就不會那麼痛心。

One thing the single are never denied, is hope.

有一項東西單身者永遠不會失去就是希望。

All this isn't to say that being alone is without problems.

There are of course drawbacks to both states, being single and being in a couple.

當然兩邊都有壞處：單身或交往中。

Loneliness in the one; suffocation, anger, and frustration in the other.

一個面臨寂寞；另一個令人感到窒息、憤怒及沮喪。

The truth is, we're simply not terribly good at being happy whatever our relationship status, which is ultimately an argument for neither rushing too fast into a couple nor rushing too fast out of one.

事實上，不管處於怎樣的關係，無論是太快進入或離開一段關係，我們都不會開心。