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Yep-ep-ep-ep
Between both of us,
we've gotten more press over tripping and falling
than anyone in history.
I know, I know.
I fell in every single city on the press tour
I fell around the world.
I fell around the world, and have the bruises.
Yeah, hahaha.
And people think it's a schtick but it's not
Well, yeah.
That's what.. I was doing another talk show
that I won't mentioned
Wow, please, we're the only one that exists.
And I was like waving to the audience
And they wanted to talk about falling
but I don't wanna do it
cause I'm afraid people will think it's like a schtick
and it actually makes me kind of mad when it happens.
Oh, it's not fun to fall.
It's not fun, it's embarrassing.
And now at this point, it's so embarrassing
and so I was like 'No, I don't want to talk about it'
and then, I came out and waved to the audience
like 'Oh, hi!'
And then my heel slipped, I didn't fall but I had like a..
And I made em cut it out of the show!
Yeah, everyone's like 'hahaha, we got you again!'
And you'll never know which show it was!
' You fall all the time!'
Yesterday on the plane, I spilled yogurt all over the plane.
and the whole plane smelled like sour milk the whole time
You're welcome
You're fun to hang out!
Yeah, haha!
I'm just concerned, I just don't want you to be hurt.
I'm a good babysitter.
No, my god, you are so fun to hang out.
People trust me with kids.
You are so fun.
Do you remember when we hung out once,
and we embarrassed ourselves in front of Jennifer Lopez?
Oh yeah, I remember.
Because we wanted her to dance with us
She wouldn't.
and she just wouldn't dance with us.
Yeah.
I think everybody thinks that they've witnessed
my most embarrassing moments
cause I fell on my face getting an Oscar
and then I fell the next year on a cone
Hahaha!
audience laughing
But like,
there are these two really humiliating stories
that are my most embarrassing moments
that I never talked about
because it is so genuinely embarrassing
But now I feel like
the statue of limitations on humiliation is up, and I'm ready.
Which one, let's get us to hear one of them.
My most embarrassing moment um was
during Silver Linings year, like awards season
it was one of those parties like HU HU HU HU.
Yeah!
And so I'm just like in a corner drinking champaign like ERR.
An older woman approached me and was being really really nice
really complimentary
and in my head I just went, 'This is Elizabeth Taylor!'
who was dead at the time
who's still dead
Sorry, she's since passed, I didn't know that
and so the older woman was just talking to me
I was like 'Oh my god, this is Elizabeth Taylor!'
No, no! Oh my god!
But you didn't say anything, did you?
Yeah, so she's complimenting me
She is complimenting me
I was like 'me?! No, it's you!'
'Your movies that I can't name,
and your fashion moments that I don't know!'
I was like, 'You are unbelievable!'
And then my friend walked by and I grabbed her
and I was like, 'This is Elizabeth Taylor!!'
and she was like. '.....No it's not.'
Hahahaha!
And I just took off running
There have been two social situations where I just like go 'Uh!'
And then I just sprinted and my shoes fell off and I hid behind like this wall.
Yeah, there's smoke coming out off your shoes
like 'Wooooo, bye Elizabeth!'
Yeah, no it's not her!
Second,
cause I really really wanna plow through these things
and get them over with
No, we like hearing these things
Um, I always talk so fast
cause I'm used to my brothers just being like
'Finish! Finish! Shut up!'
No, please.
I feel like nobody wants to hear me talk.
I wanna hear, I wanna hear.
Here.
audience laughing
Yogurt just came out of your nose.
Hahaha
Oh my god, so much phlegm
Oh my god, hahaha, tell me the other...
And this isn't even an embarrassing moment for me
No, this is fun!
I got a lot of phlegm. This is normal
Yeah, phlegm is cool
Whatever.
Umm, so I'm in Paris for the first time.
again for movies and fufufu
and so I was in like one of those cool Tom Ford dresses with the zips
and everything
Sure.
And I saw Francis Ford Coppola
but it actually was Francis Ford Coppola
Haha, it really was him.
Maybe you just keep hanging out in like wax museums
so 'I was hanging out with Abraham Lincoln,
he was by George Washington, he was there too
I had tea with the pope
I was the only drinking
I was the only one who had tea
It really was Francis Ford Coppola
It really was Francis Ford Coppola
Godfather, I mean, come on he is popular
Yeah, so I was like debated the whole time
like 'Do I go up to him? Do I not go up....'
And then finally
I was like, 'I have to or l'll regret it for the rest of my life'
And this is at a restaurant?
At a restaurant in Paris, and he's with
a giant group of people and they take out most of the...
I mean, it's a huge table of people.
And I started walking, and I noticed I was barefoot
but I was like 'Umm, maybe they probably won't notice'
and so I'm barefoot
And then I introduced myself, and I was like 'I'm such a huge fan of Godfather! Wow'
and went on and introduced myself to the whole table like,
'hi, I'm Jennifer Lawrence,' and they had no idea who I was.
Went back to my table, my entire dress was unzipped
and my thong was out.
audience laughing
So i was barefoot and my whole ass was out
audience laughing
Does that just happen? I didn't know that happened with dresses
It was like.... I don't know
The side.
Yeah, I was making room for my gut
and I unzipped the whole thing then forgot
so I thought it was the shoes that were gonna be the problem
You thought they were impressed with meeting you
-and then I walk away  -and they were like
equally impressive!
Yeah, they were like: wow, hey! That's fantastic
What a jerk!
Hahahaha!
They thought the whole was a joke
We always talk about... I met... my worst moment
I met Clark Davis
so I'll make this quick.
I saw him again at a big table.
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
Yeah, he was at a table he was sitting there
i should say Hi. it's Clive Davis
so I went over and there's a big table with a group of people
I went over and 'Hi, Clark, I'm Jimmy Fallon.'
And then he goes like.....
So I go 'Does he want me to kiss him on the cheek?'
so I went and I kissed him
And he was like 'WHAT?'
and I go 'What?'
And this is whoever he was with was like, 'He couldn't hear what you are saying.'
I was like 'Oh....' Hahahaha
Hold on, I'm so sorry
I kissed him and I never met him or talked to him ever again
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摔跤影后 Jennifer Lawrence 自爆比跌倒更丟臉的糗事!(Jennifer Lawrence Shares Her Most Embarrassing Moments)

30472 分類 收藏
Coco Hsu 發佈於 2016 年 6 月 27 日    Coco Hsu 翻譯    吳宜臻 審核
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