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  • Yep-ep-ep-ep

    是阿

  • Between both of us,

    我們兩人

  • we've gotten more press over tripping and falling

    可說是史上因跌倒而登上

  • than anyone in history.

    新聞媒體最多次的人

  • I know, I know.

    我知道,我知道。

  • I fell in every single city on the press tour

    我在這次巡迴的每個城市都跌倒

  • I fell around the world.

    在世界各地跌倒

  • I fell around the world, and have the bruises.

    我在世界各地跌倒,到處瘀青。

  • Yeah, hahaha.

    是的,哈哈哈哈。

  • And people think it's a schtick but it's not

    大家以為是炒作但其實不是

  • Well, yeah.

    是的,沒錯。

  • That's what.. I was doing another talk show

    所以我在另一個我不指名的

  • that I won't mentioned

    談話性節目中,

  • Wow, please, we're the only one that exists.

    哇,拜託,我們是獨家呢。

  • And I was like waving to the audience

    當時我跟觀眾揮手

  • And they wanted to talk about falling

    他們想討論關於跌倒的事情

  • but I don't wanna do it

    但我並不想

  • cause I'm afraid people will think it's like a schtick

    因為我很怕大家覺得我在炒作

  • and it actually makes me kind of mad when it happens.

    這件事真的很惹惱我

  • Oh, it's not fun to fall.

    不過,這真的很有趣。

  • It's not fun, it's embarrassing.

    這一點都不有趣,超級丟臉的。

  • And now at this point, it's so embarrassing

    尤其現在是敏感時期,就更丟臉了。

  • and so I was like 'No, I don't want to talk about it'

    所以我跟他們說「不,我不想聊這件事」

  • and then, I came out and waved to the audience

    然後,我走出來向觀眾揮手打招呼

  • like 'Oh, hi!'

    像「喔,嗨!」這樣

  • And then my heel slipped, I didn't fall but I had like a..

    忽然我的高跟鞋打滑,雖然沒有跌倒但我就一臉⋯⋯

  • And I made em cut it out of the show!

    最後,我要求他們把整段從節目中剪掉!

  • Yeah, everyone's like 'hahaha, we got you again!'

    是阿,大家應該會笑說「哈哈哈哈哈,我們又逮到你跌倒了!」

  • And you'll never know which show it was!

    沒有人會知道是哪個節目哼!

  • ' You fall all the time!'

    「你總是在跌倒!」

  • Yesterday on the plane, I spilled yogurt all over the plane.

    昨天在機上,我打翻優格弄得到處都是

  • and the whole plane smelled like sour milk the whole time

    整個客艙內都是優格的味道

  • You're welcome

    不用客氣

  • You're fun to hang out!

    跟你相處太有趣了!

  • Yeah, haha!

    是吧,哈哈!

  • I'm just concerned, I just don't want you to be hurt.

    我只是會擔心,希望不要受傷。

  • I'm a good babysitter.

    我是個很好的保姆。

  • No, my god, you are so fun to hang out.

    不,我的天,跟你相處太好玩了。

  • People trust me with kids.

    大家很放心讓我帶小孩的。

  • You are so fun.

    太有趣了。

  • Do you remember when we hung out once,

    你還記得有一次,

  • and we embarrassed ourselves in front of Jennifer Lopez?

    我們在 Jennifer Lopez 面前出糗的事嗎?

  • Oh yeah, I remember.

    是阿,我記得。

  • Because we wanted her to dance with us

    因為我們邀他一起跳舞

  • She wouldn't.

    他不肯。

  • and she just wouldn't dance with us.

    但他就是不肯

  • Yeah.

    是阿

  • I think everybody thinks that they've witnessed

    我想大家都覺得他們已經目擊了

  • my most embarrassing moments

    我最丟臉的時刻

  • cause I fell on my face getting an Oscar

    因為我在奧斯卡典禮上摔跤

  • and then I fell the next year on a cone

    隔年又再次跌倒

  • Hahaha!

    哈哈哈哈!

  • audience laughing

    (觀眾笑)

  • But like,

    但是,

  • there are these two really humiliating stories

    其實有兩個更羞愧的事件

  • that are my most embarrassing moments

    才是我自認為人生最丟臉的時刻

  • that I never talked about

    我不曾在公開場合提及

  • because it is so genuinely embarrassing

    因為實在是太丟人現眼了

  • But now I feel like

    但現在我覺得

  • the statue of limitations on humiliation is up, and I'm ready.

    再怎麼丟臉都已事過境遷,我準備好了。

  • Which one, let's get us to hear one of them.

    什麼故事呢,和我們分享第一個吧。

  • My most embarrassing moment um was

    我最丟臉的時刻是

  • during Silver Linings year, like awards season

    在拍攝《派特的幸福劇本》那一年,

  • it was one of those parties like HU HU HU HU.

    參加了一些派對,玩瘋了

  • Yeah!

    是!

  • And so I'm just like in a corner drinking champaign like ERR.

    那時我在角落喝著香檳

  • An older woman approached me and was being really really nice

    一位有年紀的女士朝我走來且非常友善

  • really complimentary

    非常讚賞我地的和我問候

  • and in my head I just went, 'This is Elizabeth Taylor!'

    我腦中忽然浮現「她就是 Elizabeth Taylor!」

  • who was dead at the time

    一位當時早已過世的女士

  • who's still dead

    當然現在也是

  • Sorry, she's since passed, I didn't know that

    抱歉,他已往生但我不知道

  • and so the older woman was just talking to me

    所以這位年長的女士在和我聊天時

  • I was like 'Oh my god, this is Elizabeth Taylor!'

    我很驚訝「我的天阿,是 Elizabeth Taylor!」

  • No, no! Oh my god!

    不會吧!我的天!

  • But you didn't say anything, did you?

    但你沒有亂說話,有嗎?

  • Yeah, so she's complimenting me

    有,他一直讚美我

  • She is complimenting me

    一直讚美我

  • I was like 'me?! No, it's you!'

    我就說「我?!不,你才厲害!」

  • 'Your movies that I can't name,

    「你那些我不知道名字的電影,

  • and your fashion moments that I don't know!'

    以及我不知道的時尚舞台」

  • I was like, 'You are unbelievable!'

    我說「你才是不可思議的女人!」

  • And then my friend walked by and I grabbed her

    這時我朋友經過我便抓著他

  • and I was like, 'This is Elizabeth Taylor!!'

    說「這是 Elizabeth Taylor!」

  • and she was like. '.....No it's not.'

    我朋友回說「⋯⋯不他不是」

  • Hahahaha!

    哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈!

  • And I just took off running

    我當下拔腿就跑

  • There have been two social situations where I just like go 'Uh!'

    我人生中有兩次在社交場合上因為出糗

  • And then I just sprinted and my shoes fell off and I hid behind like this wall.

    拔腿就跑,連鞋子都掉了,躲在牆壁後面的經驗

  • Yeah, there's smoke coming out off your shoes

    是阿,煙從你鞋子冒出的畫面

  • like 'Wooooo, bye Elizabeth!'

    你邊跑邊喊著「呼!再見 Elizabeth!」

  • Yeah, no it's not her!

    當然,那不可能是他!

  • Second,

    第二,

  • cause I really really wanna plow through these things

    因為我真的很想快速帶過

  • and get them over with

    快點結束這個話題

  • No, we like hearing these things

    不,我們聽得津津有味

  • Um, I always talk so fast

    呃,我講話速度很快

  • cause I'm used to my brothers just being like

    因為我已經習慣我哥總是

  • 'Finish! Finish! Shut up!'

    說「快說!快結束!閉嘴!」

  • No, please.

    不,不要這樣想。

  • I feel like nobody wants to hear me talk.

    我覺得沒有人想聽我說

  • I wanna hear, I wanna hear.

    我想聽,我想聽。

  • Here.

    這裡。

  • audience laughing

    (觀眾笑)

  • Yogurt just came out of your nose.

    昨天的優格從鼻子跑出來了

  • Hahaha

    哈哈哈哈

  • Oh my god, so much phlegm

    我的天,好糗⋯⋯

  • Oh my god, hahaha, tell me the other...

    我的天,哈哈哈哈,跟我分享另一個⋯⋯

  • And this isn't even an embarrassing moment for me

    這甚至不是我最丟臉的時刻

  • No, this is fun!

    不,這很有趣。

  • I got a lot of phlegm. This is normal

    因為我太多糗事了

  • Yeah, phlegm is cool

    是阿,也沒關係啦!

  • Whatever.

    隨便啦。

  • Umm, so I'm in Paris for the first time.

    所以,我第一次到巴黎

  • again for movies and fufufu

    當然就是為了電影跟食物食物食物

  • and so I was in like one of those cool Tom Ford dresses with the zips

    我當天穿著拉鍊在側邊

  • and everything

    的洋裝

  • Sure.

    是。

  • And I saw Francis Ford Coppola

    然後我遇見了 Francis Ford Coppola

  • but it actually was Francis Ford Coppola

    這次真的是 Francis Ford Coppola 本人

  • Haha, it really was him.

    哈哈,真的是本人。

  • Maybe you just keep hanging out in like wax museums

    或許你都在蠟像博物館

  • so 'I was hanging out with Abraham Lincoln,

    幻想說「我跟 Abraham Lincoln 在一起,

  • he was by George Washington, he was there too

    旁邊還有 George Washington,他也在。」

  • I had tea with the pope

    我在喝茶

  • I was the only drinking

    我是唯一在喝的人

  • I was the only one who had tea

    只有我在喝茶

  • It really was Francis Ford Coppola

    他真的是 Francis Ford Coppola 本人

  • It really was Francis Ford Coppola

    他真的是 Francis Ford Coppola 本人

  • Godfather, I mean, come on he is popular

    演出《教父》,拜託他超紅的

  • Yeah, so I was like debated the whole time

    是阿,我內心掙扎超久

  • like 'Do I go up to him? Do I not go up....'

    「到底要不要去跟他打招呼呢?」

  • And then finally

    最後,

  • I was like, 'I have to or l'll regret it for the rest of my life'

    我跟我自己說「我必須上前打招呼否則我會後悔一輩子」

  • And this is at a restaurant?

    在一間餐廳?

  • At a restaurant in Paris, and he's with

    在巴黎的一間餐廳,他和

  • a giant group of people and they take out most of the...

    一群在這一起,幾乎在餐廳包場

  • I mean, it's a huge table of people.

    意思是說,他和很多人在一起

  • And I started walking, and I noticed I was barefoot

    我走上前去,這時我發現自己赤腳

  • but I was like 'Umm, maybe they probably won't notice'

    但又覺得「呃,大家大概不會發現吧」

  • and so I'm barefoot

    就僥倖地赤腳

  • And then I introduced myself, and I was like 'I'm such a huge fan of Godfather! Wow'

    上前去自我介紹,還說「我是《教父》的頭號粉絲」

  • and went on and introduced myself to the whole table like,

    並且一一向整桌的人介紹自己

  • 'hi, I'm Jennifer Lawrence,' and they had no idea who I was.

    「你好,我是 Jennifer Lawrence」當然他們壓跟不認識我

  • Went back to my table, my entire dress was unzipped

    回到我的位置,我才發現我整件裙子的拉鍊都沒拉

  • and my thong was out.

    我的臀部外露

  • audience laughing

  • So i was barefoot and my whole ass was out

    所以我不僅赤腳我還大露屁股

  • audience laughing

  • Does that just happen? I didn't know that happened with dresses

    這件事到底怎麼發生的?

  • It was like.... I don't know

    就是⋯⋯我也不知道

  • The side.

    拉鍊在側邊。

  • Yeah, I was making room for my gut

    是阿,我想我只是在壯膽

  • and I unzipped the whole thing then forgot

    就把拉鍊拉下然後忘地一乾二淨

  • so I thought it was the shoes that were gonna be the problem

    我還以為只有沒穿鞋子是個問題呢

  • You thought they were impressed with meeting you

    大家一定當下很佩服你

  • -and then I walk away  -and they were like

    瀟灑地離去

  • equally impressive!

    等同的敬佩!

  • Yeah, they were like: wow, hey! That's fantastic

    哇,嘿!

  • What a jerk!

    混蛋一個!

  • Hahahaha!

    哈哈哈哈哈

  • They thought the whole was a joke

    這是開玩笑的

  • We always talk about... I met... my worst moment

    我們也很常調侃我的糗事

  • I met Clark Davis

    我遇到 Clark Davis

  • so I'll make this quick.

    讓我快速帶過

  • I saw him again at a big table.

    我在一個聚餐中遇到他

  • Hurry, hurry, hurry.

    快點,快點,快點。

  • Yeah, he was at a table he was sitting there

    是,他坐在那一桌

  • i should say Hi. it's Clive Davis

    所以我上前去打招呼說「你好,Clark Davis」

  • so I went over and there's a big table with a group of people

    那裡有一桌的人

  • I went over and 'Hi, Clark, I'm Jimmy Fallon.'

    我便自我介紹「你好,我是 Jimmy Fallon」

  • And then he goes like.....

    然後他就⋯⋯

  • So I go 'Does he want me to kiss him on the cheek?'

    所以我就在想「他是想要我親他的臉頰嗎?」

  • so I went and I kissed him

    所以我只好真的這麼做

  • And he was like 'WHAT?'

    他驚訝地說「什麼?!」

  • and I go 'What?'

    我也納悶「什麼?」

  • And this is whoever he was with was like, 'He couldn't hear what you are saying.'

    某人就說「他只是聽不到你在說什麼」

  • I was like 'Oh....' Hahahaha

    我當下「喔⋯⋯」哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

  • Hold on, I'm so sorry

    不好意思,我真的很抱歉

  • I kissed him and I never met him or talked to him ever again

    我親了他之後,我再也沒有見過或遇過他了。

Yep-ep-ep-ep

是阿

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摔跤影后 Jennifer Lawrence 自爆比跌倒更丟臉的糗事!(Jennifer Lawrence Shares Her Most Embarrassing Moments)

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    Coco Hsu 發佈於 2016 年 06 月 26 日
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