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Beards. You have them, he has them, she has them -- I... sort of have them. But now that
everyone has a beard, EVOLUTION says, "BEARDS ARE SO OVER."
Howdy folks, thanks for tuning in for DNews, I'm Trace Dominguez! Studies have shown beards
equate to age, masculinity and dominance and they are so hot right now, or are they? A
new study in the Royal Society journal Biology Letters will affect men from Brooklyn to San
Francisco... Portland to Austin... the more beards there are, the less attractive beards
are.
A study in Biology Letters found once the number of beards peak, clean-shaven faces
become more attractive to the ladies! The study showed women pictures of men with and
without facial hair, and when a clean-shaven man was shown amongst lots of stubbly and
beardy peeps, their freshly shorn skin was aglow with attractiveness. Conversely, in
a sea of babyfaces, the bearded man was king. Are the ladies picky? Or is there something
else at work...
The researchers determined a famous bearded gent was to blame -- Darwin's theories of
evolutionary sexual selection says females choose those males with the most desirable
features -- physique, intelligence, whatever. But they're not sure HOW they decide. Obviously,
we want the best genes to perpetuate, and the crap ones left out, but how do people
know which are the good genes? Scarcity, my friends. This study FINALLY revealed, those
who roll outside the mainstream, who are rare or unique are thought to have a genetic edge!
Example: People with blonde hair in populations of brunettes, fatter people in skinny populations,
tall people amongst shorties, visa versa and so on. Scarcity equates to attractiveness!
The researchers use the example of guppies -- which is such a good hipster comparison.
In guppies, the fish with the most unusual color patterns have the most mating success.
Do they have the "BEST" genes? Maybe, the lady-fish don't know, but they know they're
different, and different is cool.
You could also think of the "closing time" effect. A study in the journal Basic and Applied
Social Psychology, found at the end of a night out, people take stock of their patrons and
assess attractiveness based on who's LEFT. We determine attractiveness by WHO'S AROUND,
not just by genes and uniqueness alone. Remember that week-long high school trip to Seattle
where you bunked in with Jessie because Jessie was the hottest on the bus? What happened
when you got back home? Bye, Jessie. There are other hotties around.
So to bring it back to beards -- we're hitting a QUOTE "beard peak" where the novelty of
a man with facial hair has lost it's unusual quality. However, it's important to mention,
there are different LEVELS of beardyness. The researchers in Biology Letters used four
distinct levels -- clean-shaven, light stubble *wink*, heavy stubble, and full beard. I think
they are missing ludicrous beard... but maybe that's just me. A lumberjack of Brooklyn would
be unique in the bushier Portland -- and thus, perhaps they'd be unique... scarce... hotttttttt.
Overall though, a lot of the news is claiming those men who shave are going to get the attention
-- for now. The struggle is real, y'all.
Are beards OVER!?
Tell us down below, but if you decide you're going to shave, it might be time to check
out Harry's. Harry's was started by two guys who thought paying a crap-ton for crap blades
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to your door! Thanks for watching - don't forget to subscribe!