[all crying softly]

(所有人泣不成聲)

- She looks so perfect.

-她看起來是這麼的美麗

- Yeah, you'd barely even know her intestines

-是啊，那是因為你根本就不知道

were splattered all over the asphalt.

她在馬路上被輾得肚破腸流

- They did a great job packing them all back in.

-還不多虧大體化妝師幫祂縫得好好的

- Mads, you'll always be one of us.

-麥姿，祢永遠是我們的好夥伴

Just because you're dead

可是啊，就算祢死了

doesn't mean I won't stop busting your balls.

我也不會停止開祢的玩笑喔 (譯註: busting one's balls指和某人開玩笑)

- That's exactly why you should stop.

-死者最大，你不要亂講話好不好？

- Lori, have some respect.

-羅莉，妳馬幫幫好

Now she just looks stupid!

看祂現在的樣子多愚蠢啊

[crying continues] - He's right.

(繼續哭著) -他說得沒錯啊

I can't go half mustache.

我只有半邊有鬍子確實滿蠢的

- Mads, you--you're--

-麥姿，祢..祢怎麼會...

- I'm a ghost, bitches.

-我現在是鬼啊，呆瓜

[all screaming]

(所有人尖叫)

[playful music]

(俏皮音樂)

- [man singing] This is America

- (男聲) 這裡是美國

Land of dreams

夢想的發源之地

Everyone can climb higher

每個人都能高高在上

- [women singing] Not you, though

- (女聲) 你錯了

You're stuck here

你明知道自己被困在這裡

'Cause you're a part-timer, yeah

因為你只是個實習工讀生，耶~

- [man singing] You can do anything

- (男聲) 想做什麼都隨心所欲

- [woman singing] As long as it's not hard

- (女聲) 前提是不要太難

- [man singing] And you can go anywhere

- (男聲) 想去哪玩也隨心所欲

- [woman singing] As soon as you get a car

- (女聲) 前提是你得有車

- [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success

- (男聲) 你就能坐擁天下

- [woman singing] Come on, that's not who you are

- (女聲) 拜託，你以為你是誰？

- [man singing] You're a part-timer cursed

- (男聲) 實習工讀生是一種詛咒

With full-time dreams

雖然你充滿夢想

And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems

但薪水就跟表面看起來一樣的糟

Bad as it seems

一樣糟糕

What the [bleep] are you doing here?

你到底是吃錯什麼藥？

Whoa

哇喔

What the [bleep] are you doing here?

到底為什麼要來這裡啊？

Oh~

喔~

Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]?

兄弟，認真的嗎？ -你到底在這裡做什麼啊？

Part Timers Season II - Episode 20

實習工讀生第2季 第20集(最終回-下)

[all screaming]

(所有人尖叫)

- Guys, guys, why are we screaming?

-各位各位，你們幹嘛一直尖叫啊？

- Ghost Mads and her brain from hell

-變鬼的麥姿從地獄裡爬出來

are standing right there!

祂現在就站在那邊！

- I don't see anything.

-我什麼都沒看到啊

[all shouting]

(所有人叫喊著)

- She's waving at you. - Oh, my God.

-祂在跟你揮手啊 -喔我的天啊

[whispering] I can't see dead people.

(低語) 我看不到鬼啦

- Mads, if only you just fell off the building

-麥姿，要是祢當初沒有摔下去

and not also got ran over.

也沒被車輾過就好了

Oh, why, oh, why does Pork E. Pine's

喔，為什麼啦，喔，為什麼我們餐廳

have to be next to a car wash?

剛好就在洗車場旁邊呢！？

- Pete, don't worry.

-皮特，你別這樣

Dying really wasn't all that bad.

死亡又沒有真的那麼糟

You know that feeling of peeing in a wet suit--

你懂那種就是把褲子尿濕...

warm, cozy, you know you shouldn't be doing it,

溫暖又舒服的感覺嗎，雖然你明知道不該這樣做

but it feels so good?

但感覺真的滿不錯的 (譯註: Mads此處所提到的，是因為人在死前，身體所有肌肉都會放鬆，而控管尿液糞便排放的括約肌也會因而失去功能，就會造成屎尿盡出的狀況)

all: Oh, yeah, - It does feel really nice.

所有人: 喔，是沒錯啦，那感覺真的滿不錯的

- That's dying, in a nutshell.

-瀕死前的情況大概就是那樣

Plus, now I have a supernatural power.

再說了，現在我可是有超能力呢

[magical tone] all: Aah!

(魔法的聲音) 所有人: 啊！

- Wait. That's it?

-等一下，啊就這樣喔？

You're a ghost and all you can do is make us do the wave?

變成鬼的祢只能讓我們揮波浪舞喔？

- I'm working on it.

-人家還在努力中嘛

- Yeah, I got to say, that's pretty lame.

-對啊，我得說，祢這樣真的滿沒說服力的

I was expecting way more than that.

我本來還期待會有什麼花樣呢

- You know what else is lame?

-你知道什麼才是最難叫人相信的嗎？

Having a nice death and ending up back at Pork E. Pine's.

就是在美好的時刻死去，但最後得回到這間餐廳 = =

- If it's any consolation,

-如果祢死了還能回來這

I'm glad you're here.

我想這對我是最大的安慰

- Thanks, Pete.

-謝謝你，皮特

- Can someone keep Dinger up to speed?

-你們能不能幫丁格啊？他沒跟上來

- Lost cause.

-他沒救了

- You know, being stuck at my part-time job

-你們知道嗎，我下輩子不會想再

was not my idea of the afterlife.

困在這裡當工讀生了

It wasn't even my idea of life-life.

這也不是我這輩子想要的啊

- Maybe you're here because you have some unfinished business.

-說不定祢還在這裡，是因為祢還有一些未了的心願

- Yeah, was there anything you wanted to do

-對啊，是不是還有什麼事情是祢生前

while you were alive and didn't have a chance?

想做但卻沒有機會做的？

- [scoffs] Ah. Duh.

- (笑) 啊，我真笨捏

I never had sex with Pete.

我沒跟皮特做過愛啊

all: Oh!

所有人: 喔！

- You want me to release your soul

-祢就只想用我的老二

into all eternity using only my penis?

來釋放祢的靈魂讓祢得永生？

- Well, not only. Ever heard of foreplay?

-當然不是啊，你有沒有聽過前戲啊？

- I've never even had sex with a living woman.

-我從來就沒跟任何活生生的女人做過愛

This is too much pressure. - Pete, calm down.

這讓我覺得壓力好大 -皮特，冷靜點啦

It's a totally natural rite of passage.

這是人生中很自然的必經路程之一

- "Natural"? It's necrophilia.

-「很自然」？這根本就戀屍癖吧

- No, no, no, that's if you had sex with my corpse.

-不不不，那是你和我的屍體做愛

This is totally different.

這兩者不一樣

What we're talking about is ghost sex

我們現在講的是用鬼的陰道

with a ghost vagina.

和鬼做愛

It would be like having sex with a Jacuzzi jet.

這就好像跟按摩浴缸的噴嘴做愛一樣嘛

- [sighs] Mads, I'm a virgin.

-(嘆氣) 麥姿，我雖然還是處男

I've had relations with my fair share

也和不少按摩浴缸噴嘴

of Jacuzzi jets...

都發生過關係... (譯註: have one's fair share of是指「遭遇、碰到許多...」)

but I just can't.

但我就是做不到

I'm sorry.

對不起

[sighs]

(嘆氣)

- [sighs]

- (嘆氣)

Ella.

對了，找艾拉

[magical tones]

(魔法的聲音)

- Where's Mads? - Don't tell him.

-麥姿在哪啦？ -別告訴他我在這

- Food counter. - Okay.

-點餐區啦 -好喔

- I need you to help me seduce Pete.

-我需要妳幫我誘惑皮特

- Uh, no. Sorry.

-呃，不可能，抱歉

I'm not having another threesome.

我對搞3P沒興趣

If I learned one thing from the commune,

如果問我從聖餐禮學到了什麼

it's that you always want to stick with an even number.

我會說偶數配才是剛剛好的

- Did I get her? I think I got her.

-我抓到祂了嗎？我覺得我抓到了耶

- Keep trying, buddy. - Damn it.

-繼續加油吧，兄弟 -該死

- No, I don't want a threesome.

-不是，我不想要搞3P

I just need some simple seduction advice.

我只是需要一些誘惑男人的簡單建議

How can I make myself irresistible to Pete?

我該怎麼做才能讓皮特毫無招架之力？

- Oh, easy. Just talk about the sex moves

-喔，那還不簡單，跟他講一些祢想跟他

you're gonna do to him.

做的性愛姿勢

It'll make him less nervous. - Okay.

這樣他就比較不會那麼緊張啦 -好喔

Well, I know one. - Mm, lay it on me.

喔，我知道一招 -恩，快告訴我

- Okay, well, he's on top...

-是這樣的，恩，他呢在上面...

- Oh.

-喔

- And I'm on the bottom.

-我呢，就在底下

- Yeah.

-讚啦

- And then we make eye contact.

-接下來我們兩個就會四目相交

- Oh, so you like it like a nun?

-喔，所以祢喜歡當修女喔？

- [sighs] This is why I need your help.

-(嘆氣)這就是為什麼我要找妳幫忙啊

I need one of your signature moves.

我需要妳教我妳的招牌動作

- Okay, in your situation,

-那好吧，照祢的情況看來

I'd probably go with a move I invented

我可能要交祢我自創的一招

called "the ouija board."

叫做「通靈板體位」

I won't go into too many details,

我先不跟祢講一堆有的沒的

but let me just say, you'll be light as a feather.

簡單來說就是，祢會輕得跟羽毛一樣

He'll be stiff as a board.

他會硬如硬板

- [laughs] Oh.

-(笑)喔

I get it.

我懂了

- Ah, do you?

-嗄，祢確定？

- Actually, no. I need details.

-事實上，聽不懂，妳再講詳細點

- Okay, so it starts with, you lay a piece of plywood...

-好吧，一開始，祢會躺在一片夾板...

[vacuum whirring loudly]

(吸塵器大聲吸的聲音)

[continues indistinctly]

(繼續講，但不知道在講什麼)

Slap him! Slap him! Slap him!

然後就這樣拍他，拍他，拍他！

[continues indistinctly]

(繼續講，但不知道在講什麼)

Fear in his eyes!

他眼中會開始驚惶！

[continues indistinctly]

(繼續講，但不知道在講什麼)

And if you didn't mush the banana,

如果祢不怕吃香蕉的話

you can eat it afterwards.

祢可以晚點再來含他的香蕉

- Hmm. - I got her.

-恩 -我抓到祂了

I got her, right?

我抓到祂了，對不對？

[magical tone] Aah!

(魔法的聲音)啊！

Aah! [both laughing]

啊！(兩人都笑了)

[magical tone] - Hey.

魔法的聲音) -嘿

- Oh! Oh! God!

-喔，我的媽啊，嚇死我了

- I know you're nervous about... you know.

-我知道你對...很緊張，你懂我在說什麼

But I talked to Ella, and she taught me a move

我剛剛才跟艾拉談過，她教我一招性愛姿勢

that will take it to a whole other level.

可以把我們兩個帶到另一個境界

- Yeah, um, I've been thinking.

-呃，其實我想了一會兒

It's not really the lovemaking that I'm nervous about.

我發現我緊張的根本就不是做不做愛

- It's not? - No.

-不是嗎？ -不是

It's pretty much

我一直很擔心

all I've been thinking about since I met you.

也瘋狂在想的，就是看見變成鬼之後的祢

It's just that...

我最怕的是...

if we have sex

要是我們做了愛

and you move on...

祢就沒有缺憾，可以安心的走...

I won't ever see you again.

但我就再也不會看到祢了

- But if we don't, I'll be trapped at Pork E. Pine's

-但如果我們不做的話，我會永遠被困在

for the rest of eternity.

這間破餐廳啊

- That seems fun, right?

-但這很有趣啊，對不對？

You can be, like, my ghost girlfriend.

祢可以..當我的鬼女友啊

- Pete, could you imagine being trapped here forever?

-皮特，你能不能想像一下永遠被困在這裡是什麼感受？

It makes me want to kill myself, and I'm already dead.

那讓我覺得比死還痛苦，雖然我已經死了

If you love me, you'll bone me...

如果你真的愛我，就和我做愛... (譯註: bone當動詞時，有「與某人性交」之意)

and set me free.

讓我此生沒有遺憾

- Okay. We'll do it.

-好吧，那我們就來做吧

- Oh! Thanks, Pete!

-喔，愛死你了，皮特！

Meet me in the staff room. I'm gonna go grab a banana.

待會來員工休息室找我，我等一下就要來剝香蕉了

[magical tone] He said yes!

(魔法的聲音) 他說願意了！

- Aah!

-嚇死我了！

Aw. I'm so happy for you.

喔，我真是為祢感到高興

[sighs] So I guess this is it for reals, huh?

(嘆氣) 這次是真的要走了，對嗎？

Promise me you'll haunt my dreams.

答應我祢以後會常來夢裡找我

- If that's how it works, then, yes.

-如果那真的有效，那我保證會的

I'm still figuring it out.

我還在慢慢摸索啦

- [sighs] Rest in peace.

-(嘆氣) 安心好走喔

I love you.

我愛祢

- I love you too.

-我也愛妳

- Guys! Come say bye to Mads!

-各位，趕快來跟麥姿說再見啦！

She's about to ghost-bust a nut!

祂就快要被假中出啦！ (譯註: bust a nut是非常口語的美國俚語，指男性射精的行為，而ghost-bust a nut則多指男性在進行性交時，因想提早趕快結束，故意騙對方自己已經高潮了，實則不然)

Who you gonna call? - Ghostbust-nutters!

我們怎麼叫他？ -獵鬼大盜！

[chuckles] Ow.

(笑) 噢

- Mads, I'm really gonna miss you.

-麥姿，我絕對會懷念祢的

You were the best at cleaning up gum off the bottom of tables.

祢清理桌子底下的口香糖的能力超厲害的

- Aw, thanks.

-喔，謝謝你

I thought nobody noticed.

我還以為都沒人注意到呢

- Mads, I know we haven't always gotten along.

-麥姿，我知道我們相處的時間不算很多

- Is that it? - Yeah.

-就這樣？ -對啊

- Ian, I can always count on you to underwhelm.

-伊恩，我就知道你會這麼地冷靜跟我道別

- Aw. You're underwhelm-come.

-喔，不用那摸多禮數啦

- [crying]

-(哭)

- Lori, it'll be okay.

-羅莉，沒關係的

- No, it won't.

-才怪，好不了了

You're the only employee who actually did her job.

祢是我們這裡唯一真正有在做事的員工

[sniffles]

(抽泣)

- Mads, I'm really gonna miss you.

-麥姿，我也會很想念祢的

Hey, guys...

嘿，各位...

I can feel her.

我可以感受到祂的存在

- Nope. - Damn it.

-你沒有 -該死

- Dinger, I really want to say that I'll miss you the most.

-丁格，我真的很想告訴你，其實我最想念的人是你

But I'd be lying?

騙你們的啦，開玩笑的

[all shouting] - Roasted!

(所有人叫喊) -完全擊敗！

- [laughing] Good one, Mads.

-(笑) 好好笑，麥姿

- Oh, you heard her. What'd she say?

-哦，你聽到得祂啦，阿祂說什麼？

- God damn it. -Um-hum

-他媽的 -恩亨

- Oh. Ow!

-喔，噢

I don't think you know your supernatural strength.

我不知道祢死了以後力量還這麼大

- Shut up and ghost-French-kiss me.

-別說話，開始和我鬼版的法式熱吻吧

I can't wait to haunt Little Pete.

我開始等不及要玩弄小小皮特了

Oh, I was wrong-- Big Pete.

喔，我錯了呢...小皮特還滿大的呢

- Okay, just... - Here...

-好了，再... -來...

- I got this. - Okay.

-我把它弄好 -好了

- Whew.

-呼

I can't believe this is gonna happen.

我真沒想到這真的會發生

Oh, it's finally happening.

喔，終於要發生了

[both moan]

(雙方呻吟的聲音)

[groans]

(呻吟)

It happened. - What?

進去了 -什麼？

- Did it...

-我是說...

happen for you?

小皮特進到祢身體了嗎？

- No. - Oh.

-還沒 -喔

- Believe me, you'll know when it does.

-相信我，進去的時候你會有感覺的

Besides, I'm pretty sure I'm stuck here until that happens.

再說了，我很確定在它進去之前，我都還無法離開人間

So want to try again?

所以，想再試一次嗎？

- Okay. I think I'm in.

-好了，我想我進去了

- Right, but you have to keep going.

-對，但你要再繼續往前一點

- Okay.

-好喔

[groans] Oh, no.

(呻吟)喔，沒辦法

- Pete. - Sorry.

-皮特 -抱歉

This time, I'm gonna wait until you're ready.

這一次，我要等祢準備好再進去

- Okay.

-好

- Whoa!

-哇嗚！

What you doing, Pete?

你在幹嘛啊，皮特？

- Dinger, get out!

-滾開，丁格！

[groans]

(呻吟)

Oh, man.

吼，軟掉了

- Pete, don't you dare.

-皮特，你不害怕嗎？

- I got this. Don't worry.

-安啦，我背美國50州分散注意力

Alabama, Alaska, Arizona,

阿拉巴馬、阿拉斯加、亞利桑那

Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut...

阿肯色、加利福尼亞、科羅拉多、康乃迪克...

Connecticut!

康乃迪克！

Connecticut!

康乃迪克！

- Delaware!

-德拉威！

[indistinct conversation] - Oh.

(嘰喳講話聲) -喔

I think that means she did it. - Good-bye, Mads.

我想這表示祂已經完成遺願了 -麥姿，再見囉

- Good luck organizing that big closet in the sky.

-祝祢以後在天上過得幸福又快樂

- [chuckles] - This one's to you.

-(笑) 這杯敬祢的

- Guys! Guys! I did it!

-各位，各位，我破處了

- All right! - There you go!

-讚啦！ -做得好！

- You know, I think this makes you a permanent member

-你知道嗎，我覺得那可以讓你成為

of the Part-Timers Club.

工讀生俱樂部裡的永久成員

- A member? He should be president.

-成員而已，他都可以當會長了吧

Sex with you literally made a woman see God.

和你做完愛的女人，每個都可以看見上帝了

- Guys, it was awesome.

-各位，這感覺真的很好

Although no one ever told me that part of sex

雖然從來沒有人跟我講過做完愛

was having your body turn ice cold from the inside out.

下面會整根變得冰冰涼涼，就跟冰棒一樣

I think my junk has frostbite.

我覺得我下面好像被凍傷了 (譯註: junk原指垃圾，在此為非常典型的性暗示字詞，常在一般口語中聽到)

- Uh, yeah, I think that only happens during human-ghost sex.

-呃，對啊，那個只會發生在人鬼交歡的情況下

- I really am gonna miss her, though.

-我一定會很想念祂的

You guys think she'll visit?

你們覺得祂會回來嗎？