- Wow.

- 哇。

I've dreamed of working at Pork E. Pine's

我從小就一直夢想在『神埼寶杯』工作

ever since I was a kid.

我從小就一直夢想在『神埼寶杯』工作

- Really?

- 真的？

Astronaut? Firefighter?

太空人？消防員？

All those dreams taken?

沒得選了嗎？

- Excuse me? - Nothing.

你說什麼？ 算了。

I'll show you around.

我會帶你逛逛。

That's Dinger.

這是丁格。

He's been here longer than Pork E. Pine's itself.

他在『神埼寶杯』開店之前就在這了。

It was a Hometime Buffet before.

之前這裏是『家鄉家鄉時刻自助餐』。

He just never left.

他從來沒有離開過。

That's Ella.

這是艾拉。

We found her sleeping in the alley and took her in.

我們在巷子裡發現睡覺的她，於是就把她帶進來了。

She's new to the idea of personal boundaries.

她對人際交流的界線有點不清楚。

She'll get it. Or get sued.

她要碼就是領悟，要碼就是被告到死。

Moving on.

繼續。

That's Anton, the owner.

這是安東，我們的店長。

His dad gave him this place

他爸在他不小心燒掉上一個之後，再給他這裡

after he accidentally burned down the last one.

他爸在他不小心燒掉上一個之後，再給他這裡

And Ian there, he's our mascot.

而這是伊恩，我們的吉祥物。

- Wait, that's Pork E. Pine? For real?

- 等等，他是神埼寶杯？ 真的？

- Mm-hmm.

- 嗯 - 嗯。

But the novelty will wear off soon enough.

新鮮感很快就會消逝殆盡的

- Oh, it won't for me.

哦，我就不會。

You know, Lori, back when I was a kid

你知道，洛瑞，童年回憶啊

growing outside of Vulture's Pont,

我家是外食族

my family ate practically every meal at Pork E. Pine's.

我們幾乎每週都會來吃『神埼寶杯』。

We weren't fancy enough for the Spaghetti Factory crowd.

我們不夠潮，所以吃『義大利麵工廠』感覺怪怪的。

But at Pork E.'s we felt welcome,

但在『神埼寶杯』我們感到自在

not just on birthdays, but every day.

不管是不是生日都一樣

This was a place we could always call home.

我們感覺這裡就像家一樣。

- Sorry, new guy.

- 對不起，新來的傢伙。

- Is he okay?

- 他還好嗎？

- No, he's dead.

- 不，他已經死了。

We're gonna have to find a new one.

現在我們得找到另一個新人了。

- Oops.

糟糕。

[playful music]

- [man singing] This is America

Land of dreams

Everyone can climb higher

- [women singing] No you know you're stuck here

'Cause you're a part-timer yeah

- [man singing] You can do anything

- [woman singing] As long as it's not hard

- [man singing] And you can go anywhere

- [woman singing] As soon as you get a car

- [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success

- [woman singing] Come on that's not who you are

- [man singing] You're a part-timer cursed

With full-time dreams

And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems

Bad as it seems

What the [bleep] are you doing here?

Whoa

What the [bleep] are you doing here?

Oh

說真的，伙計？ 三小啊？

Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]?

- 歡迎來到你的新工作......

- Welcome to your new job...

皮特。

Pete.

哇，這個地方超棒的。

- Wow, this place is so amazing.

你知道嗎，我以前常常來這裡。

You know, I used to come here when I was a kid.

好好好。

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

這是你的夢想，巴拉巴拉巴拉。

This is your dream, blah, blah, blah.

不如這樣，你帶自己在這逛逛吧。

Tell you what, why don't you show yourself around.

這地方一點都沒變

- Oh, this place hasn't changed a bit.

希望我能吐在她臉上，一滴都好

[soft piano music]

希望這樣她就會摸我。

[rock music]

- 嘿，新來的傢伙。

Wish that I were but a drop of barf on her cheek

退後。 -咦？

so that she might touch me.

你離獎盃太近了

- Hey, new guy.

但獎盃在那耶。

Back off. - Huh?

把獎​​品展台當作是我的城堡好了。

- You're standing too close to the prize booth.

而這，就是我的護城河

- But that's over there.

恩...請求通過吊橋，先生。

- Think of the prize booth as my castle.

否決。 哦。

That makes this the moat.

但為表善意，

- Oh, well, permission to cross the drawbridge, sir.

我會讓你選擇一個獎品。

- Denied. - Oh.

哦，不，謝了。

- But as a gesture of goodwill,

怎樣，不屑我的小禮物嗎？

I'll let you pick a prize.

哦，嗯...

- Oh, no, thanks.

嗯，你知道嗎，

- What, my crappy little prizes aren't good enough for ya?

我要選這個徽章。

- Oh, uh...

你知道嗎，

Ah, you know what,

自從你接手這家店之後

I'll take this badge.

這個地方確實進步了。

- You know what,

我知道，對吧？

ever since you took over,

你有看到哪家兒童餐廳

this place has really improved.

裝曬黑燈的。

- I know, right?

天才。 我知道。

I don't see any other kid's restaurants

嘿，是只有我這樣覺得還是那個新來的傢伙臉臭臭的

installing tanning lights.

嘿，是只有我這樣覺得還是那個新來的傢伙臉臭臭的

Genius. - Yeah, I know.

怎麼說？ 我不知道。

Hey, is it just me or is something a little off

我需要看清楚一點。

about the new guy?

給我『招呼望遠鏡』。

- Like what? - I don't know.

你好嗎。

I need a closer look.

老兄，他在那邊。 抱歉。

Pass me the hello-scope.

嗯，看起來他在找某種東西。

Well, hello.

呵呵。

- Dude, he's over there. - Sorry.

他有一個徽章。

Ah, looks like he's looking for something.

哦，我的老天爺。 新來的傢伙是個警探。

Huh.

不是吧，他才幾歲，12歲？

He's got a badge.

你有看過『龍虎少年隊』嗎

Oh, my God. The new guy's a narc.

為什麼他們要派臥底過來

- No way, man. He's, like, what, 12 years old?

也許是因為機車族。

- Two words: 21 Jump Street.

誰？ 你知道的。

- Why would they send an undercover cop here?

被我們用球丟死的那個人啊

- Maybe because of Scooter.

昨天耶，老兄。

- Who? - You know.

等等，所以你是說我們是謀殺的主要嫌疑人？

The guy whose face got in the way of our skee ball.

但驗屍官說這是一個意外。

Yesterday, dude.

驗屍官可能也牽涉其中。

- Wait, so you're saying we're prime suspects for a murder?

天知道這事會鬧多大

But the coroner said it was an accident.

天阿，這一定很嚴重

- The coroner is probably in on it.

他們派來了他們的頭號警長。

Who knows how high up this thing goes.

這樁案件是如此的完美。

- Wow, this thing must be serious.

連我們都不知道人是我們殺的

They sent their number one sheriff after us.

等等，人是我們殺的嗎？ - 我不知道。

- It was such a good crime.

但我們應該要在他發現之前想出對策

We didn't even know we did it.

- 嗯...

- Wait, did we do it? - I don't know.

您好？

But we should probably figure it out before he does.

- 你有沒有想過油斑

- Um...

其實只是房子的胎記？

Hello?

沒有 嗯...

- You ever think grease spots

嗯，我只是在這裡只是為了 沖牙套。

are really just birthmarks for buildings?

我認為它屬於一個長髮女孩。

- No. - Hmm.

嗯，那是『狂』 的。

- Um, I'm just here just to rinse off a retainer.

『狂』。 - 嗯哼。

I think it belongs to the one girl with the long braid.

哦。 這是一個很酷的名字。

- Ah, that would be Mads.

嗯，你能告訴我 她是什麼樣的人嗎？

- Mads. - Uh-huh.

嗯，我知道她喜歡的傢伙就該... 誰 -

- Oh. That's a cool name.

比薩好了。

Um, can you tell me what she's like?

哦，哦，哦，哦，哦。

- Well, I know she loves guys who--

你想要一些嗎？

[bell dings] Pizza's done.

哦，不，謝謝。

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.

我做的耶。 蘑菇口味。

Do you want some?

- 好。好。

- Oh, no, thanks.

哦。 嗯。

- I made it. It's mushroom.

我們剛剛談到她喜歡的類型。

- Okay. Okay.

狂

Oh. Hmm.

哦，那是大蒜麵包。

But we were talking about what's-her-name.

好，我們殺死機車族的十大理由

Mads. [bell dings]

老兄，要是有人走進來看到上面的名字的話，我們就死定了

- Ooh, that'll be the garlic bread.

老兄，要是有人走進來看到上面的名字的話，我們就死定了

- [sighs]

老兄，要是有人走進來看到上面的名字的話，我們就死定了

- Okay, top ten reasons we are guilty of murdering Scooter.

說得沒錯

- Dude, if someone comes into this room

我們殺死

and they see Scoter's name written on here,

『雞车足』的十大理由

we're busted.

- 這招太神了。

- You're right.

- 我知道，對吧？

Top ten reasons we are guilty

- 好，第一個，我們真的殺死了『雞车足』

of murdering "Scu-ga-ter."

- 這個算。

- Dude, that's brilliant.

我們做的。

- I know, right?

- 第二。

- Okay, one, we totally killed "Scu-ga-ter."

你的指紋在兇器上面

- True.

啊！ 沒錯。

We did it.

指紋。

- Two.

三，我可能吐在球上了。

Your fingerprints are on the murder weapon.

你幹嘛要這樣做？

- Ah! You're right.

你知道，我覺得很搞笑啊

Fingerprints.

假如你說『噁，手上有嘔吐物』

- Three, I may have spit on the ball.

我就會笑死你

- Why would you ever do that?

天啊，你這白癡。

- Well, you know, I thought it would be funny

現在警察有我們的ＤＮＡ了

if you were, like, "Eww, there's spit on my hand,"

D和A.

and then I would laugh at you.

哦，我天。

- God, you are so stupid.

我們絕對有罪。

Now the cop has our D 'n A.

你知道現在我們只能做一件事了

D and A.

我們要去必須殺了-- - 我們自己？

- Oh, my God, dude.

不，我們不會殺 我們自己。

We are so guilty.

我們必須殺死警察。

You know there's only one thing we can do.

等一下，我們為什麼不賄賂他就好？

We're gonna have to kill-- - Ourselves?

你說服我了。

- No, we're not gonna kill ourselves.

- 嘿，不好意思

We have to kill the cop.

我再問一次

- Wait, why don't we just bribe him?

你說狂愛哪種人

- Works for me.

- 哦，是的。

- Hey, sorry

好，狂喜歡的是...？

that I'm bringing this up again,

哦...

but you were telling me that Mads loves guys who...

我認為這些蘑菇起作用了。

- Oh, yes.

- 為什麼？

Okay, so Mads loves guys who...

- 因為你看起來像亞伯拉罕·林肯。

Oh...

- 哦！ - 天啊。

I think those mushrooms were off.

我們搞砸了，不是嗎？

- Why?

- 什麼...

- Because you look like Abe Lincoln.

這是什麼蘑菇

- Oh! - Oh, man.

- 不知道。

We're messed up, aren't we?

我在門口找到的

- What...

今早在診所外面

What kind of mushrooms were these?

我想我得走了。

- Don't know.

- 感謝解放奴隸。

I found them growing outside

亞伯。

the free clinic this morning.

- 哦，我有一整疊

- I think I'm gonna go.

隔壁洗車店的優惠券。

- Thanks for freeing the slaves.

或是他喜歡現金

Abe.

- 不要問我。

- Oh, I have a whole stack of coupons

我所有的錢都花在 在襪市了。

for the car wash next door.

你是指股市吧。

Or do you think maybe he prefers cash?

- 是，就是這樣。

- Don't ask me.

襪子市場。

All my money's tied up in the sock market.

- 嘿！

- You mean the stock market.

我在找人。

- Yeah, that's what said.

既：他做的。

The sock market.

- 做了什麼？

- Hey!

- 他在裝笨。

I'm looking for someone.

- 好吧，我們就陪他玩。

both: He did it.

你要什麼

- Did what?

- 我想知道

- He's playing dumb.

你約會的政策是什麼。

- All right, we'll play.

請稍候

What do you want from us?

老兄，我完全沒料到會這樣

- I want to know

我知道，他完全針對你耶。

what your dating policy is.

- 我？你吧。

- Could you excuse us for a second?

我不想和他做愛。

- Dude, I did not see that one coming.

- 我也不。

- I know, he's totally hitting on you.

我們將面臨牢獄之災耶

- Me? He's hitting on you.

- 不好了。 牙套。

- I'm not gonna have sex with him.

- 好吧，警探。

- Neither am I.

我們倆和你做愛

- We're talking about jail time here.

如果你 - 嘿。

- Oh, no. The retainer.

嘿!

- Okay, narc.

- 媽的，這警察不好解決。

We'll both have sex with you

- 我知道。 他不接受賄絡。

if you--hey.

你要去哪裡？

Hey!

為我們的監獄生涯做準備

- Damn, this cop is hard-core.

為我們的監獄生涯做準備

- I know. He can't be bought.

- 狂。 還是 - 我是指，哎。

Where are you going?

您。 - 嘿。

- To prepare.

- 哇。 你好。

We are totally going to prison.

- 皮特，對不對？

- Mads. Or--I mean, hey.

- 是啊。

You. - Hey.

嗯...

- Wow. Hi.

哦，嗯...

- Pete, right?

我找到了這個， 我認為這是你的。

- Yeah.

你知道，我喜歡...

Um...

- 嗯哼？ - 不怕接觸

Oh, um...

一個女孩的嘴。

I found this, and I think it's yours.

我喜歡你的眼鏡。

- You know, I really love a guy who--

就像你在隱藏自己一樣

- Yeah? - Isn't afraid to touch

哦，伙計，馬桶酒的效果十分顯著。

a girl's mouth.

一定會在監獄聖誕趴裡面紅起來

I like your glasses.

哦，好極了，因為我剛把三包三明治袋

It's like they're hiding a real man behind them.

塞進我屁眼

[rock music]

你塞了什麼進去啊

- [sniffs]

伙計，真正的問題是

Oh, man, the toilet wine's coming along great.

我什麼沒塞進去

We're gonna be such a hit at the prison Christmas parties.

沒錯，我有一個溜溜球。

- Oh, that's awesome, because I just fit three sandwich bags

一隻有彈性的手。 - 讚。

worth of contraband up my butt.

一個娛樂用球和槳

- What you got up there?

還有為了小姐的口風琴

- Dude, the real question is

監獄小姐。

what don't I got up there?

Heyo！

Yeah, I got a yo-yo.

嘿，你知道還有什麼更酷嗎

I got a stretchy hand. - Nice.

比馬桶酒更酷？

- A ball and paddle for entertainment.

那是什麼？

And a harmonica for the ladies.

馬桶啤酒。 - 天才。

- Prison lays.

超級創新的主意

both: Heyo!

你只需要有酵母

- Hey, you know what would be even cooler

沒錯

than toilet wine?

我也得搞清楚我要怎麼適應那裡

- What's that?

好極了

- Toilet beer. - That's genius.

- 哇。

It's a whole new demographic.

警長看起來被我們感染了。

- All you gotta do is get the yeast.

- 呃...

- All right. - [laughs]

他真的在...

- I got to figure out how to fit that up there too.

- 是的。 - 與...

Great.

- 嗯 - 嗯。

[rock music]

- 嗯，EWW。

- Wow.

- 這不是他的錯。

The sheriff likes to get freaky.

艾拉意外地餵到他糟糕的比薩。

- Uh...

你對警探下毒？

is he really--

- 亞伯拉罕·林肯是一個警探？

- Yep. - With--

- 皮特是不是警探。

- Mm-hmm.