Placeholder Image

字幕列表 影片播放

已審核 字幕已審核
  • (hip hop instrumental music)

    (嘻哈音樂)

  • (laughing loudly)

    (大笑)

  • Kassia.

    Kassia

  • Kassia, have you seen this dog with braces?

    Kassia,你看過這隻帶著牙套的狗狗嗎?

  • Oh man, it's all over my feed.

    喔老天,這一直出現在我的動態消息上

  • Oh no, I try not to look at Facebook.

    喔,我沒看過那個,我盡量不看 Facebook

  • What, why?

    甚麼,為何?

  • Do you hate nerdy dogs?

    你討厭書呆子狗狗嗎?

  • No.

    不是的

  • Facebook and I used to date.

    我之前和 Facebook 交往過

  • Oh, really?

    喔,真假?

  • Kassia.

    Kassia

  • Oh no.

    喔,不

  • Kassia, do you want to get some food?

    Kassia,你想要吃點東西嗎?

  • Facebook, no.

    Facebook,不要這樣

  • We broke up.

    我們分手了

  • This is desperate .

    你很不死心耶

  • What do you mean?

    甚麼意思?

  • Where do I start?

    該從何講起呢?

  • Okay, here for instance.

    好吧,像是這個

  • This year end review.

    這個年度回顧功能

  • That's nice.

    這很溫馨啊

  • It's thoughtless.

    這根本不用心

  • I don't care about any of this shit.

    這根本不是我關心的東西

  • It's just stuff I put up there that got a lot of likes.

    你只是把我有很多讚的照片放在一起罷了

  • Okay, and this?

    還有這又是什麼?

  • You're always showing me pictures

    你老是給我看一些

  • of the way things used to be,

    陳年的照片

  • like you're trying to prove things

    感覺好像你在

  • were so great back when you were still relevant.

    不停地刷存在感

  • We had good times.

    我們有過很美好的回憶

  • It's manipulative.

    這是在操弄人心

  • You are a manipulative person.

    你是個喜歡操弄人心的人

  • This.

    還有這個

  • Oh, I get a message from you, you have four unread messages,

    喔,我收到了訊息,目前有四封未讀訊息

  • but first, you have to download this app in order to get it.

    但我還得先下載一個app才能讀這些訊息

  • That sucks.

    這超爛的

  • I'm a good boyfriend.

    我是個稱職的男友

  • I'm always asking youWhat's on your mind?”

    我一直在問你「在想些什麼?」

  • Big deal.

    啊不就好棒棒

  • I'll always get you anything you want.

    我總是為你拿到任何你想要的東西

  • You liked WhatsApp, I bought that.

    你喜歡 WhatsApp,我買下它了

  • You liked Instagram, I bought that.

    你喜歡 Instagram,我把它買下了

  • You liked Oculus, I bought that.

    你喜歡 Oculus,我也把它買下了 (Oculus是一家製作頭戴式虛擬顯示器的公司)

  • I never said I liked Oculus.

    我從來沒有說我喜歡Oculus

  • I got you all these new Like buttons.

    我還弄了好多新的讚和表情符號

  • You can also buy this shirt that says

    你還可以購買上面寫著

  • You wouldn't understand, it's a Kassia thing.”

    「你不懂啦,這是Kassia的梗」的T恤

  • Okay, you're lame now.

    好啦,你現在落伍了

  • You created a holiday, National Friends Day,

    你創造了一個叫全國朋友日的節日

  • just so we could hang out.

    讓我們可以跟朋友打發時間

  • And when I do reach out,

    但當我真的想要找人聊天

  • all you wanna talk about is politics or Blue Apron.

    你卻只想談論政治和Blue Apron (美國知名食材電商)

  • Yeah, due to your history,

    是啊,根據你的瀏覽紀錄

  • I thought you would like Blue Apron.

    我以為你會喜歡Blue Apron

  • That's the real issue.

    這就是問題所在

  • When we do hang out, you just do it now

    當我們真的出去玩時,你只會把

  • to sell my information to advertisers.

    我的個人資訊賣給廣告商

  • You used to be fun

    你之前很風趣的

  • and now it's all about the money.

    而現在你滿腦子只想著金錢

  • Well, money is how I was able to buy you Oculus...

    這個嘛,我要賺多點錢才能幫你買Oculus...

  • I don't give a fuck about Oculus!

    我才不想要甚麼Oculus啦!

  • Okay?

    懂嗎?

  • Listen, you are a smart computer person, right?

    聽著,你是個聰明的資工人,對嗎?

  • And you're probably walkin' through life thinking,

    而你在人生旅途中或許會想

  • "Oh, everybody hates me because I'm a nerd."

    「喔,大家不喜歡我,因為我是資工宅。」

  • I wanna tell you from the bottom of my heart,

    我打從心底告訴你

  • that's not why.

    這不是你被討厭的原因

  • They hate you because you sold their data.

    人們之所以會討厭你是因為你出賣了大家的個資

  • Plus, I have a new man now.

    再說,我已經有了新男友

  • Ready to go, babe?

    準備好要走了嗎,寶貝?

  • You're dating Apple?

    你在跟 Apple 交往?

  • I thought you were dating Snapchat?

    我以為你在跟 Snapchat 交往?

  • Snapchat wasn't permanent.

    Snapcha t只是個過渡男友罷了

  • I like how safe I feel with Apple.

    我喜歡跟 Apple 在一起的安全感

  • Is this guy bothering you?

    這傢伙打擾到妳了嗎?

  • Not anymore.

    再也不會了

  • Good.

    很好

  • Cause if he ever does, if he tries to see your data

    如果他膽敢竊取你的個資

  • or get in your phone, I'll shut him down.

    或是偷看你的手機,我會立馬把它關掉

  • Nobody tells me what to do.

    沒有人能告訴我該怎麼做

  • And one more thing.

    順帶一提

  • I'm not afraid to go to jail.

    我不怕去坐牢

  • (emotional instrumental music)

    (感性的音樂)

  • Love you, babe.

    愛你,寶貝

  • Love you.

    我也愛你

  • (laughing loudly)

    (大笑聲)

  • Dogs with braces aren't cool, do you know what's cool?

    帶著牙套的狗狗不夠潮,你知道甚麼最潮嗎?

  • Shut the fuck up, Friendster.

    閉上你的狗嘴,Friendster ( Friendster是全球首家社群網站,現已沒落)

  • Hey, it's Grant from CollegeHumor.

    嘿,我是 College Humor 的 Grant

  • Click here to subscribe to the channel.

    點擊這裡以訂閱我們的頻道

  • Click here for more fun stuff.

    點那裡可以看更多好笑的影片

  • And sorry, guys, it feels like I'm out.

    然後,抱歉各位,我好像被切掉了

  • Am I out?

    我被切掉了嗎?

  • Cause like I can see the top of the camera, so it's...

    因為我可以看到攝影機的頂端,所以應該...

  • Is this better?

    這樣好一點了嗎?

  • All right, it feels worse.

    這個嘛,感覺好像更糟

  • Okay.

    好吧

  • Thanks for watching.

    謝謝收看

(hip hop instrumental music)

(嘻哈音樂)

字幕與單字
已審核 字幕已審核

影片操作 你可以在這邊進行「影片」的調整,以及「字幕」的顯示

A2 初級 中文 美國腔 男友 買下 狗狗 個資 訊息 apple

如果臉書是你的前男友...?(How Facebook is Like Your Desperate Ex)

  • 72311 3308
    李宣億 發佈於 2017 年 12 月 26 日
影片單字