1. Don't be afraid of being sensitive and vulnerable.

第一點，不要害怕感到感性或處於弱勢

I know our society makes it seem like that's a huge weakness and you

我知道我們的社會讓這看起來像是很大的弱點，才讓你

have to be this macho puff daddy

必須使自己成為一個大男人

but, you're also a human being.

但同時，你也是個人類

Plus, anyone who makes fun of you for being those things

再加上，任何會嘲笑你有那些感覺的人

is just insecure about their own masculinity.

只是對他們自己的男子氣概感到沒把握

2. Don't be a "nice guy." Be a good guy.

第二，不要當「好人」，當個很棒的人

I feel like a lot of the people who claim to be "nice guys"

我覺得很多聲稱自己是「好人」的人

aren't that nice.

並不是那麼地好

Cause if you're really nice, do you you have to constantly say,

因為如果你真的那麼好，你有必要不斷地說

"Well I'm a nice guy! But I'm a nice guy! I deserve this!"

「我的確是個好人！但我是個好人！這是我應得的！」

Just strive to be a good guy. Because nice guys finish last.

就努力做個很棒的人吧。因為好男人會吃虧

And the good guys go first.

很棒的男人卻吃香

3. If you want something more than friendship, and she doesn't,

第三，如果你想要有近一步的發展，但她不想

don't be friends.

那你們連朋友都別當了

A lot of guys talk about "the friendzone" but guess what,

一堆男生在說「朋友圈」，但你知道嗎？

"The friendzone" is when two people are friends.

「朋友圈」是指兩個人的關係是朋友

That's all it is.

事實就只是這樣

Don't be one of those guys who pretends that you're someone's friend just

不要像其他傢伙一樣，假裝自己是某人的朋友只因為

because you want to wait around for the off-chance that you can fuck her.

你等待著微乎其微的機會好跟她上床

Because not only is that super fucking disrespectful to you,

這不但是對自己超級的不自重

but it's also like..

而且

you deserve someone who wouldn't

你值得和一個不會

be afraid to ask you out.

害怕約你出門的人交往

Or someone who's like, "Oh, I'm all about you, boo.

或是某個會說「噢，我現在心裡全是你

Let's do this."

我們在一起吧。」

Respect yourself, bro.

自愛一點，兄弟

4. Don't be afraid to feel.

第四，不要害怕去感受

I have 2 guy friends who are best friends. They're super fucking besties.

我有兩個感情很好的男性友人。他們是超級死黨

And I think it's the cutest thing ever

而我覺得最可愛的事

when they hug each other, and like

是當他們互相擁抱的時候，還有

one will kiss the other on the forehead,

其中一個會親另一個的臉頰

or they'll like, kiss each other on the cheeks,

或者他們也會互相親臉頰

or they'll just genuinely tell each other that they love each other,

或他們也會互相真誠地說著自己愛對方

and it's kinda sad that we don't have that more often,

其實有點難過我們平時並不常這麼做

and that men are like, kind of..

但這兩個男生就是......

If you like, love your bro so hard,

如果你真的很愛你的兄弟

you want to give them a fucking kiss on the forehead,

你想要在他們的額頭上用力地親一下

give them a fucking kiss on the forehead.

那就用力地在他們額頭上親一下

Now, if your best guy friend doesn't

不過如果你的好朋友不想

want these things from you, maybe you should not,

看你做這些，或許你最好不要做

but I mean, you should at least TRY to kiss them on the forehead.

但我的意思是，你該至少試試看親他們的額頭

He might like it.

說不定他們喜歡

Before I thank today's sponsor,

在我感謝今天的贊助商之前

I want to say thank you to everyone

我想先謝謝每個

who bought a short film poster.

買了短片海報的人

I really, truely appreciate you spending your money on

我真的、誠心地感謝你們願意將錢花在

a piece of paper that has my face on it.

上面印著我的臉的一張紙

I'm not gonna lie, that's really fucking cool.

不是我在說謊，這真的很酷

In different homes across the globe.

在地球的另一端

I am staring at you, 24/7.

我會 24 小時盯著你

(softly) Watching you undress.

(輕柔地說) 看著你沒穿衣服的樣子

Watching you do your homework.

看著你寫作業

Watching you do everything.

看著你做任何事

Watching you masturbate, (screeches)

看著你打手槍 (尖叫)

I wish I can close my eyes, but I can't

我真想閉上我的眼睛，但我不行

because I'm a poster!

因為我是一張海報！

Alright, so I haven't done a sponsor

好吧，我還沒介紹贊助商

in a while, so today I'm gonna do Audible

我今天要介紹的是 Audible

Everyone says that-that-that my voices suck,

大家都說我們嗓音聽起來很爛

except the Japanese one,

除了日本腔

They're like "Ugh, just always do the Japanese

他們常常說：「啊，那都用日本腔就好了

one, cause it's the ONLY one you're good at."

因為這是妳唯一說得好的。」

I disagree,

我並不同意

but I do think the Japanese one is obviously

但我的確覺得日本腔明顯地

like, much more marketable, for some reasons,

大受歡迎，因為某些原因

so I'll just do the Japanese voice okay?

所以就讓我用日本腔好嗎？

(high pitched, Japanese accent) Thank you to Audible.com

(尖聲的日本腔) 謝謝 Audible.com (http://audible.com/)

for sponsoring today's episode!

贊助今天的節目

You! can go to audible.com/anna

你！可以到 audible.com/anna (http://audible.com/anna)

for a FREE audible book of your choi-su!

挑選一個免費的有聲書

They have over 150,000 titles to choose from (screams)

他們有超過 15 萬個主題可以選 (喊叫)

Currently, I am listening to Gone Girl

最近，我在聽的是《控制》

because all of my friends see it in the theater,

因為我的朋友們都到電影院去看了

they say it's so good. I'm like, "I don't see it yet."

他們說很好看，我就說：「我還沒看過呢。」

and they're like, "Oh, it's so good, maybe you should read the book first because you like the book

他們說：「噢，這部很棒，或許你應該先讀它的書，因為你會喜歡書的內容

more than the movie."

更勝於電影。」

So now I'm listening to the boo-ku.

所以現在我正聽著有聲書

You can get that, or another free audiobook of your choice

你可以聽聽看，或是選另一本免費的有聲書

at audible.com/anna.

在 audible.com/anna 上

That's (softly) audible.com/anna.

(輕聲地) audible.com/anna

(normally) Miss Earth comes out October 16th, 2014.

(正常語調) Miss Earth 會在 2014 年 10 月 16 日推出

I hope you like it. Really excited.

希望你會喜歡。真興奮

Stay awesome, Gotham.

保重了，高譚市民

Subtitles by Skylar Coland via Amara

字幕經由 Amara 由 Skylar Coland 提供