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  • [upbeat music]

    (輕快音樂)

  • - Are you sure this is gonna work?

    -你確定這樣會成功嗎?

  • - Trust me.

    -安啦

  • Whip cream plus spray cheese

    在起司上面塗上奶油

  • equals cream cheese.

    不就變成奶油起司了嗎?

  • - All right.

    -那好吧

  • [loud bang]

    (大聲碰撞聲)

  • - Mads, are you okay?

    -麥姿,妳怎麼了?

  • - I failed.

    -我失敗了

  • - To look in the mirror? - [chuckles]

    -透視鏡子沒成功? - (笑)

  • - My nursing school application.

    -護校的申請入學書

  • I can't ever be a nurse.

    我永遠都當不了護士了

  • - But you studied for like a year.

    -可是妳已經努力唸了1年了

  • How's that possible?

    這怎麼可能啊?

  • - I flunked the personality test.

    -我性向測驗沒過...

  • both: Ohh.

    雙方異口同聲: 哦~

  • - Give me that! - Hey.

    -給我那個! -嘿

  • - I haven't had sugar in 10 years and you know what?

    -我已經10幾年都沒吃糖了,你們猜怎麼樣?

  • I'm done trying to be good.

    我再也受不了沒糖吃的日子了

  • - Wow.

    -哇

  • - [sighs] - Well?

    - (嘆氣) -覺得好點了嗎?

  • - Mama's got a sweet tooth.

    -讚到快要飛上天了

  • - Aah! - Show me your stash.

    -啊! -快告訴我你藏甜食的地方

  • [playful music]

    (俏皮音樂)

  • - [man singing] This is America

    - (男聲) 這裡是美國

  • Land of dreams

    夢想的發源之地

  • Everyone can climb higher

    每個人都能高高在上

  • - [women singing] No you know you're stuck here

    - (女聲) 你錯了,你明知道自己被困在這裡

  • 'Cause you're a part-timer yeah

    因為你只是個實習工讀生,耶~

  • - [man singing] You can do anything

    - (男聲) 想做什麼都隨心所欲

  • - [woman singing] As long as it's not hard

    - (女聲) 前提是不要太難

  • - [man singing] And you can go anywhere

    - (男聲) 想去哪玩也隨心所欲

  • - [woman singing] As soon as you get a car

    - (女聲) 前提是你得有車

  • - [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success

    - (男聲) 你就能坐擁天下

  • - [woman singing] Come on that's not who you are

    - (女聲) 拜託,你以為你是誰?

  • - [man singing] You're a part-timer cursed

    - (男聲) 實習工讀生是一種詛咒

  • With full-time dreams

    雖然你充滿夢想

  • And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems

    但薪水就跟表面看起來一樣的糟

  • Bad as it seems

    一樣糟糕

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

    你到底是吃錯什麼藥?

  • Whoa

    你到底是吃錯什麼藥?

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

    到底為什麼要來這裡啊?

  • Oh

    喔~

  • Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]?

    兄弟,認真的嗎? -你到底在這裡做什麼啊?

  • - And...

    -欸...

  • got ya. [laughs]

    找到你啦 (笑)

  • I'll see you next week.

    下周再見啦~

  • Oh! - So, my mom was reading me

    嚇死人喔! -按照慣例,我老媽禮拜2在漫畫店

  • the comics-- normal Tuesday tradish,

    的時候,讀了一段新聞給我聽

  • and look who's beady eyes were staring at me

    現在看看是哪雙犯罪過的眼睛

  • from the crime section.

    正盯著我看啊?

  • [dramatic tones] - [groans]

    (戲劇性音樂) -(嘆氣)

  • - Pete Petronavitch, 18-year-old male was arrested

    -一名18歲的少年,名為皮特羅維奇遭逮捕

  • for feeding ducks in Maple Park after hours.

    因為在工作時間偷偷去公園餵鴨子

  • This is the third strike for Mr. Petronavitch.

    這竟然是他第3次罷工呢!

  • - It's not my fault. Those ducklings imprinted on me.

    -那不是我的錯,是那些鴨子一直糾纏我不放啊

  • Please don't tell anyone.

    求求你別跟其他人說

  • I don't want to be treated like criminal Pete.

    我可不想被冠上「犯人皮特」的稱號

  • It's hard enough being treated like Pete Pete.

    原本的我要受到好的對待已經夠難了

  • - Lucky for you I spent some time in the slammer.

    -你很幸運,剛好我也有在監獄度過一些日子

  • - Uh, you said it was for like an hour.

    -呃,你說是在裡面待1小時耶

  • - Yeah, which is an hour longer than you,

    -對啊,比你還久1小時

  • so obviously, that makes me the expert.

    所以很明顯地,我就是個犯罪專家啊

  • So allow me to be your tour guide

    所以呢,就讓我來擔任你參透

  • to the dark side.

    「暗處」的導遊吧

  • [clangs twice]

    (2次敲擊聲)

  • - Oh, a secret door?

    -喔,神秘之門?

  • Wow, Ian, this is so--

    哇,伊恩,這實在是太...

  • [jazz music] Oh, my God.

    (爵士音樂) 喔,我的上帝啊

  • Welcome to Club DuLocker.

    歡迎來到「杜置物櫃俱樂部」

  • It's a working title.

    這其實只是暫定名稱啦

  • - Mads, consider us your sugar sherpas.

    -麥姿,請你把我們想像成是帶給你糖吃的夏爾巴人 (譯註: sherpas是一支散居在尼泊爾、中國、印度和不丹等國邊境喜瑪拉雅山脈兩側的民族,書寫時使用藏文)

  • - The shamans of the sweet.

    -想像我們是甜點巫師

  • - As the Spaniards say, azúcares espirituales.

    -就如同西班牙人在說的,(西班牙文)「糖就是你的活力來源」

  • - Basically, we're gonna guide you through your first

    -接下來我們要帶妳體驗十幾年來吃糖

  • sugar high in a decade. - Sweet.

    吃最多的一次 -讚啦

  • - Whoa, whoa, whoa. No.

    -哇哇哇,別那麼心急嘛

  • You got to start right, little sister.

    -下手的時機可要抓好呢,小妹妹

  • - Too fast, you'll have a bad trip.

    -對啊,欲速則不達,心急吃不了熱粥

  • Too slow, you'll never leave the airport.

    但是太慢,妳可是會一失足成千古恨呢

  • - Yeah, you got to start with something raw

    -對啊,妳必須先從最簡單

  • and pure.

    最單純的開始

  • - Hold your nose and let the sugar drip down your throat.

    -摀住妳的鼻子,讓糖直接倒入妳的喉嚨

  • Don't force it. - [gags]

    可別太勉強 -(作嘔)

  • - Now slam these gummy sours.

    -現在再嘗嘗這些酸的軟糖

  • - Now chew. Chew! Chew! Chew! Chew!

    -現在猛力嚼、嚼、嚼、嚼!

  • - Knock this back...

    -打開這一瓶...

  • and get ready for the ride of your life.

    準備好享受妳的人生吧

  • - [gulping]

    -(狼吞虎嚥)

  • Oh, yeah!

    喔,耶!

  • - Remember that rush? First one's always the best.

    -還記得那句話嗎?第一次都是最棒的

  • - How could I forget it?

    -我怎麼可能忘記?

  • - I want to do something super crazy!

    -我想幹一些瘋狂的事!

  • Let's go wild! - Yes!

    我們去撒野吧! -這樣才對嘛!

  • - We're with ya! - Let's...

    -我們與妳同在! -那我們來...

  • put sugar in the salt shaker.

    把糖倒進鹽罐裡面

  • - Eh, think crazier. - Salt in the sugar jar?

    -呃,再瘋狂點 -那把鹽倒進糖罐?

  • - Not there yet. - Here, you need to take a bump.

    -還不夠瘋狂 -來,妳應該再多吃點糖

  • - I got it, let's go next door and run through the carwash.

    -我想到了,我們到隔壁,去洗車場跑跳碰

  • - Yeah. - Naked!

    -太帥了 -脫光吧!

  • [laughs]

    (笑)

  • - Uh, I'm not gonna be doing that.

    -呃,如果我是她,我絕不會像她那樣

  • - Zero chance. - Yeah.

    -我也不會 -對啊

  • - Here we are, Pete, bartender's bound to be

    -就是這裡,皮特,待會酒保可以

  • around here somewhere.

    帶你四處晃晃

  • - Shirley Temple...

    莎利譚寶... (譯註: Shirley Temple是一種沒有酒精的雞尾酒,以美國童星Shirley Temple命名,它的主要成份為石榴糖漿)

  • extra Shirley.

    那是你的雞尾酒

  • - I feel like James Bond.

    -我覺得自己好像詹姆士·龐德 (譯註: James Bond是一套小說和系列電影的主角名稱,有著007的特務代稱)

  • - James Bond is a mama's boy.

    詹姆士·龐德是個媽寶

  • He went to club DuLocker.

    他有來過「杜置物櫃俱樂部」

  • We're hardcore.

    我們倆都滿勇猛的 (譯註: hardcore一般用來形容人事物的激進、強烈、猛烈程度)

  • - Drink up.

    -把它喝完吧

  • - [coughs]

    - (咳)

  • [games beeping, whirring]

    (電玩遊戲聲)

  • - The carwash was awesome, you guys.

    -剛去洗車場玩了一圈真的是太爽了,兩位

  • The brushes left some lacerations,

    刷子在我身上留下一些撕裂傷

  • but no pain, no gain.

    但不經一番寒澈骨,焉得梅花撲鼻香啊

  • Am I right?

    我說的是吧?

  • Where is it?

    在哪裡?

  • - Where is what?

    -什麼在哪裡?

  • - The sugar. I need more...

    -糖啊,我要更多糖...

  • now. - There isn't anymore.

    現在 -已經吃完了

  • - What? - [whimpers]

    -瞎說什麼? -(嗚咽)

  • - Come on, man. I just need a little more.

    -拜託,大哥,我只是想要再多吃點糖

  • Just a teensy bit. - [grunting]

    就算只有一點點也好 -(叫喊)

  • - I'll do anything.

    -我願意做任何事

  • - Mads, I'm sorry, we ate it all.

    -麥姿,抱歉,但真的都吃完了

  • - [screams] No!

    - (尖叫) 不!

  • There's got to be more. There's got to be more.

    肯定還有糖的,這裡肯定還有糖可以吃的

  • There's got to be-- - Mads...

    一定還會有的... -麥姿...

  • I think you've had enough. - [evil laugh]

    我想你夠囉 -(惡魔笑聲)

  • - Come on. - [evil laughter]

    -來啦 -(惡魔笑聲)

  • - Garbage cake.

    -我要吃垃圾桶裡的蛋糕啊

  • - And the downward spiral begins.

    -啟動螺旋槳降落模式

  • - [screams]

    - (慘叫)

  • - [giggles] Fits like a glove.

    - (笑) 就如手套一樣合身

  • - You think he's ready to hear the master plan?

    -你確定他準備好要聽終極計畫了嗎?

  • - Ooh, I don't know if he's ready.

    -嗚,這偶也不豬道捏...

  • - I'm ready.

    -我準備妥當了

  • Come on, Ian, you said I was a criminal now.

    拜託,伊恩,你說我現在是犯人啊

  • - Okay, we're gonna rob a bank.

    -那好吧,我們現在要去搶銀行

  • - What? - Ha-ha! Just kidding, man.

    -三小朋友啊? -哈哈!跟你開個小玩笑啦

  • - Holy crap. - Yeah, we actually tried that,

    -嚇死我的毛了 -對啊,但我們還真有試著做過

  • but it was super hard. - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

    難度超高的搶案 -嘿啊嘿啊

  • So, uh, instead, we're gonna rob Pork. E. Pines.

    所以,其實呢,我們是要去搶「神埼寶杯」餐廳

  • - What?

    -什麼鬼?

  • Guys, I am not comfortable with this!

    兩位,我對這樣的行為可是很不認同

  • I mean, what would Anton think?

    我的意思是說,安東尼他會怎麼想?

  • Or Lori? - That's the beauty of it,

    還有羅莉呢? -這才是整件事情的重點啊

  • they won't even notice.

    他們壓根都不會注意到

  • - We're gonna rig all the videogames,

    -我們會在暗中操控所有電動遊戲機

  • so that every third quarter,

    所以裡面的錢

  • comes directly to us.

    就會是我們的了

  • - And how are you gonna do this?

    -那你們要怎麼進行?

  • - We're not. - You are.

    -我們啥都不用做 -因為是你去做

  • First, you're gonna go down the street

    首先,你得穿越這條街

  • and break into the construction site

    然後闖進工地

  • and steal a jackhammer.

    把電鑽拿走

  • - Next, you'll drill a tunnel into the basement.

    -接著,你要鑽地洞到地下室

  • - Then, you'll knock down 10 holes in the support walls.

    -然後再把梁柱鑽出10個洞出來

  • - Without Lori noticing. - And install a series

    -但要注意羅莉,不能讓她看到 -接著你得安裝

  • of tubes that connect to the quarter collectors of every game

    可以連接到每一臺遊戲機的管線

  • and empty those quarters... - Into our bucket.

    最後再把你偷出來的錢... -放到這個水桶裡

  • - Okay... - Also, you'll need to install

    -好喔... -還有,你還要偷偷裝上

  • some kind of software

    一些軟體

  • that'll reroute every third quarter into our bucket

    得以讓硬幣回流到我們的桶子裡

  • so we aren't suspected.

    如此一來我們就能不被嫌疑

  • We know you're good with computers,

    我們知道你電腦很強

  • because you wear glasses. - No!

    因為你是四眼田雞 -不是啦!

  • I just have astigmatism.

    我只是有點散光

  • - We'll worry about that later.

    -待會再回來討論你的散光

  • First, and most importantly,

    但最重要的一件事呢

  • you need to break into Lori's office

    就是你得潛入羅莉的辦公室

  • and steal the alarm codes.

    然後破解出電腦密碼

  • - Because you'll be doing all the construction...

    因為你要做的這件事情

  • both: At night.

    雙方異口同聲: 將在晚上進行

  • - And what are your guy's jobs?

    -那你們兩個負責什麼?

  • - Oh, we already did our job.

    -喔,我們早就作完啦

  • - We got the bucket. - The rest is up to you.

    -我們拿到水桶了 -剩下的交給你了

  • - But-- - Pete!

    -可...可是... -皮特!

  • You're not gonna be a success in the real world

    你有犯罪前科,就注定你以後出社會

  • with a criminal record,

    是不會有出息的好嗎?

  • but you still have a chance with us.

    但你跟我們混在一塊,是會有東山再起的機會啊

  • - [groans] Okay, I guess,

    - (嘆氣) 好啦,我做

  • but I'm that good with a jackhammer,

    但我不是很會用電鑽

  • but maybe I can get the codes from Lori's office?

    我可不可以只潛入羅莉的辦公室就好?

  • - If you can't use a jackhammer,

    -如果你不會用電鑽

  • you can always dig the tunnel with this spoon.

    你可以用這把小湯匙慢慢挖

  • - [panting]

    - (喘氣)

  • [spy music]

    (間諜音樂)

  • Damn. Uh...

    該死,呃...

  • Oh!

    喔!

  • S-E-X-B-O-O-K.

    性..愛..小..說..

  • Damn! [sighs]

    他媽的! (嘆氣)

  • [chuckles]

    (笑)

  • "Alarm code: 1111"

    「電腦密碼:1111」

  • [cell phone rings]

    (電話鈴聲)

  • Mom, I told you not to call me when I'm at work.

    媽,我不是跟妳講過不要在我工作的時候打來嗎?

  • They dropped the charges?

    他們對我停止控訴了?!

  • I'm no longer a criminal?

    所以我沒有犯罪囉?

  • [laughs]

    (笑)

  • - What are you doing in my office?

    -你在我的辦公室搞什麼鬼?

  • - Uh, masturbating. - Mm-hmm.

    -呃,打手槍 -最好是

  • Give me the passcode.

    把我的電腦密碼還來

  • Now say "Hi," to Ian and Ella for me.

    代我向伊恩和艾拉問好啦

  • (Will Work 4 Sugar) - Hey, you got some candy?

    (願意為糖做牛做馬) -嘿,你有糖嗎?

  • Any sugar? Chocolate bar?

    有糖果嗎,巧克力呢?

  • - Sorry. - Get a life!

    -不好意思 -清醒點吧!

  • - [sighs]

    -(嘆氣)

  • - Mads?

    -麥姿?

  • Are you okay?

    妳還好嗎?

  • - Uh, I had kind of a rough day.

    -呃,我今天過得不太順遂

  • - Yeah, me, too.

    -哦,我也是呢

  • I did this like weird dance

    我剛剛才從「暗處」

  • on the dark side for a while,

    繞了一圈回來

  • but, uh, you know, if you really believe in yourself,

    可是妳知道嗎,只要妳相信妳自己

  • you can come back from anything.

    失去的東西總會贏回來的

  • - Wow, Pete, you're so wise.

    -哇,皮特,看不出你還挺有智慧的

  • - I know, right? I read it on a Snapple cap.

    -可不是嗎,哈哈,這可是我在史內波汽水瓶蓋上讀到的話 (譯註: Snapple為美國胡椒博士集團旗下推出的汽水飲料之一)

  • [both chuckle]

    (雙方都笑了)

  • Anyway, bye, Mads.

    好啦,那我先走啦

  • - Bye, Pete.

    -再見,皮特

  • - She's relapsing! - Distract her.

    -她又要發瘋了! -快點分散她注意力

  • I'll grab the cake. - No need, you guys.

    我來把蛋糕搶走 -不需要,兩位

  • I'm done with that. 10 days clean.

    我10天前就已經恢復正常了

  • - That's great.

    -太好了

  • - Hey, I'm really sorry about nursing school,

    -嘿,我真的對妳沒能申請上護校一事感到十分遺憾

  • I know how much that meant to you.

    我知道那對妳意義很重大

  • - Forget it. I'm over it now.

    -沒關係啦,反正都過去了

  • I found a new calling. - Heroin?

    -我現在找到副業啦 -運送海洛因?

  • - No, I'm going to dentistry school.

    -最好是,我要去讀牙醫系了

  • [upbeat music]

    (輕快音樂)

  • - [sighs] Do you have any 4s?

    - (嘆氣) 4張Ace是不是都在你那?

  • - Uh, go fish.

    -呃,不告訴妳 (譯註: go fish除了表示「釣魚」,尚有另一個意思為美國俚語,指的是拒絕人家的請求或是說詞)

  • - Are you sure he's coming back?

    -你確定他真的會回來這裡嗎?

  • - Yeah, he hasn't been gone too long.

    -會吧,他不是才去沒多久而已嗎?

  • - It's been 10 days! - [groans]

    -他都去了10天了耶! -(嘆氣)

  • All right, fine, let's start digging.

    好啦好啦,我們自己動手挖吧

  • - Okay.

    -好喔

  • And we only have one spoon.

    我們只剩1根湯匙

  • and I got the bucket, so...

    而且我已經去拿水桶了,所以...

  • [upbeat music]

    (輕快音樂)

[upbeat music]

(輕快音樂)

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