flexed his well-sculpted glutes,

屈身展現牠鍛鍊完美的翹臀

and prepared for the biggest battle of his life

準備好迎接牠生命中

with Nags the Mosqueezo.

與納姿蚊女皇的最大戰役

But what he didn't know was that she had just given birth

但牠所不知道的是，女皇剛剛才生下了

to 12,000 baby mosqueezos!

12000隻的幼蚊女皇！

Disengage, Dingernauts.

別開槍，丁格黨

We don't shoot mothers in space.

我們不能射殺在宇宙裡可以孕育生命的母親

- Dinger.

-丁格

- Everyone, you're in for a treat.

-各位，你們應該會非常高興聽到這則消息

Meet my coworker Mads--

來認識我的好同事麥姿吧

the inspiration for the evil overlord Nags the Mosqueezo.

她可是邪惡霸主納姿蚊女皇的靈感來源呢

all: Ooh.

全部異口同聲: 哇~

- It really does look like she had 12,000 babies.

-她看起來真的很像生育過12000個小孩的母親

- [scoffs]

- (笑)

[upbeat music]

(俏皮音樂)

- This is America

- 這裡是美國

Land of dreams

夢想的發源之地

Everyone can climb higher

每個人都能高高在上

- Not you, though

- 你錯了，你明知道

- You're stuck here

- 自己被困在這裡

- 'Cause you're a part-timer

- 因為你只是個實習工讀生

- Yeah!

- 耶~

- You can do anything

- 想做什麼都隨心所欲

- As long it's not hard

- 前提是不要太難

- And you can go anywhere

- 想去哪玩也隨心所欲

- As soon as you get a car

- 前提是你得有車

- You're gonna be a huge success

- 你就能坐擁天下

- Come on, that's not who you are

- 拜託，你以為你是誰？

- You're a part-timer cursed with full-time dreams

- 實習工讀生是一種詛咒，雖然你充滿夢想

And this low-paying job

但薪水就跟表面

Is as bad as it seems

看起來一樣的糟

Bad as it seems

一樣糟糕

What the [bleep] are you doing here?

你到底是吃錯什麼藥？

Whoa

哇喔

What the [bleep] are you doing here?

到底是為什麼要來這裡啊？

Oh

喔~

-Seriously, dude. - Like, what the [bleep]?

-兄弟，認真的嗎？ -你到底在這裡做什麼啊？

[creaks]

(招牌搖晃聲)

[crashes]

(掉落聲)

- Dinger's fan fiction is really good.

-丁格的同人誌真的做得還不錯耶 (譯註: 同人誌該詞彙源自日文，為同人文化的產物，是指一群同好走在一起，所共同創作出版的書籍、刊物)

- You're only saying that

-你那麼說的原因

because he gave Pork E. a huge wang.

還不是因為他為小箭豬畫了很大的下體

- No, because he nailed me perfectly,

-才不是呢，那是因為他從頭到下體

down to the huge wang.

巨型的程度都畫得一模一樣

- Well, you're the only one he nailed.

-拜託，只有你說的那個角色畫得好吧

Ella has a third boob that shoots lasers from the nipple.

像艾拉，竟然有第3個胸部能從乳頭射出激光

- Yeah, Ermagerd and her third

-就是說啊，「偶滴添啊和她第3個胸部」 (譯註: Ermagerd源自於一名美國女生Maggie Goldberger將Oh My God唸成Ermagerd，很像口舌發音不清者所發出的音，後被廣大的網友拿來惡搞，另還有Ermahgersh (Oh My Gosh) 的說法)

are intergalactic bounty hunters.

竟然還是星際賞金獵人

I need that tit.

-我也要那種胸部

- So it's just me that he got wrong.

-所以她只把我的角色設計錯誤

Nags, a giant mosquito overlord?

納姿，一隻巨型的蚊子女霸王？

- My character's a little off too.

-我的角色也有點怪怪的

- You're an anxiety-ridden robotic caterpillar

-你是一隻整天只會杞人憂天、內心還住著一隻

with an android butterfly growing inside you.

還在長大的機械蝴蝶的毛毛蟲機器人

It's a euphemism for puberty.

這可是在暗指青春期的委婉說法啊

- Crap.

-真是的

Nailed it.

竟然被說中了

- Push from your core. Tighten your butthole.

-用你全身肌肉的力量、屁股夾緊，用力去推

Now stop.

好，停

Pete, this new parking spot is gonna shave

皮特，我上班的路程會因為這個新的停車位

a full 35 seconds off my work walk.

整整省下35秒鐘的時間呢

And you know what I always say, right?

你還記得我一直老是在講的那句話嗎？

- No.

-不記得

- ABCT-- "Always be cutting time."

- ABCT，就是「越省時越好」

- Roger that.

-知道了 (譯註: Roger that為國際通用的通訊用語，意思是收到，之所以用Roger而不用其他名稱，有一說法是因為Roger和Receive同字首)

- You know what you get when you cut time, right?

-你知道省下來的時間可以拿來做什麼嗎？

- No. - You create time.

-不知道 -你可以創造時間

And with that time,

你所創造出來的時間

take it, lock it away for the future.

記得抓住、鎖好，然後把它留給未來

You know what this spot needs?

你知道這個地方需要點什麼嗎？

Some class.

需要一點品味

You know that guy that owns that nightclub down the street?

你知道街上那位開了一家夜店的人嗎？

He can give us a killer deal on some velvet rope.

他可以給我們天殺的交易來換得天鵝絨繩

- "Velvet rope"? - Oh, you hear that?

-「天鵝絨繩」？ -喔，你聽到了嗎？

Oh, that's time slipping away, slipping away, slipping away.

喔，那是時間正在悄悄流逝、悄悄溜走的聲音

Come on, Pete. - I feel my life slipping away.

走吧，皮特 -我覺得我的生命正一點一滴地在流逝

(Executive Parking Only) - What the-- [clicks tongue]

(此處僅限主管停車) -這是在幹嘛？ (咂舌頭聲)

Anton, we ain't got time for that.

安東尼，我們可沒時間去理會這種小事

- This is created time, Lori.

-這是在創造時間，羅莉

This time doesn't even exist yet.

時間又還沒被創造出來

- Okay, great. I'll be at the Korean spa for about five hours.

-那太好了，我要去做5小時的韓式水療

Don't call.

別打給我

- I'll just be enjoying my new executive parking spot.

-我要待在這裡享受我的新停車格

It's gonna look so good with a velvet rope.

天鵝絨繩肯定會讓這裡更好看的

- So, in conclusion,

-所以呢，總而言之

the conversion rate is 17 gravitons to one Uncle Sam.

兌換比率是17個重力子得以換到一個山姆大叔 (譯註: Uncle Sam也有美國政府的意思，因在英美戰爭時期有一位叫Uncle Sam的肉品商人在供應美軍的牛肉桶上印上同為United State的US字樣，此後Uncle Sam便被視為美國的代稱，表示有吃苦耐勞及愛國的精神)

Great question.

問題問得好

- I have a question.

-等一下，我有問題

- You, shorty in the front.

-說吧，前面那個矮子

- [sighs, clears throat]

- (嘆氣，清理喉嚨)

I just feel like in your description

我覺得你對納姿蚊女王

of Nags the Mosqueezo,

一角當中的角色描述

there's an overlooked core of helpfulness and efficiency

忽視了她也有樂心助人以及做事有效率的優點

that is missing from your description

這些是我在你的描述當中所找不到的

and makes her feel, perhaps, unseen.

這讓她感到...好像有點...被冷落忽視了

- So what's your question?

-所以妳扯半天，問題是什麼？

- Why does my character suck?

-為什麼我的角色那麼爛？

- Oh, 'cause she needs blood to survive.

-喔，是因為她得吸人家血才能存活嗎？

- "Exorctly." [watch alarm beeping]

-「迷有厝」 (手錶鈴響)

Dingernauts, you're in for a treat--

丁格黨，接下來的這則消息你們會很開心

the showstopper of the tour.

是這次出團旅行的導遊打來的 (譯註: showstopper並不是指搗亂的人或物，而是指整場表演中最精彩的部份，或表現最為棈彩的人，就是因為太精彩了，讓觀眾讚嘆加鼓掌不斷，使得整場表演停止無法繼續)

Take five, and I'll be back in a "nanojiff."

休息5分鐘，我去穿上「噴射背包」，馬上就回來

And remember to hold on to your nuts,

記好守住你們的果實

because they're about to be blown into space!

因為他們隨時都有可能被吹進宇宙！

- [sighs]

- (嘆氣)

Ugh, back off.

噁，退後好嗎？

And sit down. God!

然後坐下來，我的天！

Stand up.

站起來

Sit down.

坐下

Clean that table.

去清理那張桌子

- Nag us, Nags.

儘管嘮叨吧，納姿女王

- We can take it. - We love it.

-我們可以承受得住的 -我們很愛被碎念

- We not be so unwise as to deny the command

-我們絕不會不識明理地拒絕服從

of the most feared overlord in all the land.

地球上最為可怕的霸王下的命令

- Way to commit, Jeff.

-這樣的擔保方式我喜歡，傑夫

- Okay, well, when you're finished with the tables,

-那好吧，等你們這邊都清理完之後呢

you can degrease all the joysticks,

你們就去把操縱桿上的油汙都清理乾淨

and you can unclog all the holes in the air-hockey table.

然後去清理空氣曲棍球桌上的洞

Ah, there is so much to get done.

哇，有這麼多事能被完成，太好了

- Now, this is how you ABE--

-現在呢，這就是你執行ABE的方式...

"Always be 'executivizing.'" - I'll write that down.

「當個能夠被『使喚來使喚去』的人」 -我馬上把它抄下來

- "Initiativizing"-- I like it.

- 還有「主動為上司做事」...這個我喜歡

[horn honks]

(喇叭聲)

I know! Cool spot, right?

我知道！這地點棒呆了，對吧？

- Sir, we need you to move your vehicle

-先生，我們需要您移動一下您的車子

so we can get to the Dumpster.

這樣我們才能接近垃圾桶

- Oh, uh, actually, new thing--

-喔，呃..事實上，這裡有項新規定是...

I'm gonna need you to come around my spot

我需要你轉45度角繞過去

at a 45-degree angle, then about-face to the left.

然後再左轉，最後再來到我的位子

- We're not pulling into the lot.

-我們根本不可能開得進去

We've gotten stuck back there before.

我們之前就被卡在裡面過了

Also, we don't have to-- union rules.

況且，根據工會守則，我們根本就不需要那麼做

- Oh, the union.

-哦~ 工會是吧？

[bell dings]

(鈴響)

- [sighs] We'll do you a favor,

-(嘆氣) 我們會幫你一個忙

and we'll come back at the end of our route.

然後我們走完原本的路線就會回來

Just put the Dumpster back, okay?

把垃圾桶搬回來這裡，好嗎？

[truck beeping]

(垃圾車嗶聲)

- Quick tip, Pete--

-小提醒，皮特...

"The union" is code for "grease the wheels,"

「工會」就是「能讓事情進行得更順暢」的代號

and "grease the wheels" is code for "bribe me."

然後「讓事情進行得更順暢」就是「賄賂我吧」的代號

[vacuum cleaner whirring]

(吸塵器清掃聲)

- Clean deeper, harder.

-認真點，打擾乾淨

- Dingernauts, may I introduce to you the master of his craft,

-迪格黨，容我向大家介紹一位大師...

the lord of deep space,

宇宙深淵之王

the savior of the known universe and our god--

我們宇宙萬物的救世主以及我們的上帝...

the Pork E. Pine!

小箭豬先生是也！

- Are you guys ready to rock, antigravity style?

-你們是否已準備好要搖滾、不管重力為你們帶來的枷鎖嗎？

Not this time, Schwartzman.

哈，你這次沒得逞，施瓦茨曼

- Come on up for a group picture.

-來吧，我們來一張大合照吧

- Halt! Where do you think you're going?

-不要動！你們想去哪裡？

There's still gum underneath half of these tables.

這裡還有一半的桌子底下都還黏著口香糖耶

Keep cleaning.

繼續整理乾淨

- What have you done with my people?

-妳對我的手下做了什麼事？

- These are my people now,

-他們現在可是我的手下了呢

and as you said in "Pork Apocalypto" chapter 8,

正好就如你在「箭豬啟示錄」第8章裡面提到

"There's no loyalty in space."

「在宇宙當中，是沒有任何忠誠度可言的」

- [wails] Hoisted by my on petard!

- (哀號) 我真的是自作孽不可活

- Waah!

-哇！

- They're coming!

-他們來了！

- Make sure they can really see the soap.

-你要確保他們真的能看得到肥皂

- You didn't give me a walkie-talkie!

-你沒給我對講機啊！

- Hide, Pete!

-躲起來，皮特！

Hide!

躲起來！

[mysterious music]

(詭異音樂)

Take it. Take it.

拿走，拿走

[truck door closes]

(垃圾車門關上)

Oh!

喔！

[truck beeping]

(垃圾車嗶聲)

- They didn't like it!

-他們不喜歡！

- Just clean it up.

-把它處理掉就對了

- What'd you say?

-你說什麼？

- Toss it!

-把它扔掉！

You know, this is a valuable lesson, Pete.

你要知道，皮特，這可是相當寶貴的一課

Some men can't be bought,

有些人就是不肯接受賄賂

and some unions can't be defeated.

而有些工會就是怎麼樣也不會被擊倒

Always be knowing when to hold 'em

你得學會什麼時候該把持住

and when to fold 'em.

什麼時候應該放棄

Fold 'em.

放棄吧= =

- What are you doing? - We're taking our payment.

-你們在做什麼？ -我們在拿我們的工資啊

- You're not stealing our balls.

-你們不能偷走我們的球

- Balls? These are gravitons.

-球？這些可是重力子耶

And we had a contract. - No, we didn't.

而且我們有簽合約 -不，我們沒有

- Episode one, section three, the contract states--

-第1章第3節，合約上清楚地提到...

- Okay, this is real life.

-夠了，這是現實生活耶

You do not steal balls from kids, you Dingernauts.

你們不能偷走要給孩子們玩的球，丁格黨

Plus, you do not want to take these home.

再說了，你們也不會想把這些帶回家吧？

You know how many times we've cleaned these balls?

你知道我們多久才清理這些球嗎？

Never! No time.

從來沒清過！以後也不會

- [sniffs] - But...

- (嗅了一下) -可是...

we worked hard for these gravitons.

我們這麼努力地工作都是為了這些重力子啊

- Well, you're not taking them.

-雖然如此，但你們還是不能帶回家

- The Mosqueezo has shown her true form.

-納姿女王開始現出她真正的原形了

- Just like she did before the fall of the Laser Locusts.

-就跟她之前擊敗激光螳螂前一樣

- We will succeed where the Laser Locusts failed.

-但我們這次會成功，絕不會像激光螳螂那樣被打敗

Let the rebellion begin!

我們來叛亂吧！

[all imitating alarm blaring]

(模仿警報聲響)

- Stop it!

-住手！

Dinger, your idiot fans are robbing us.

丁格，你那群白痴同好正在搶我們的東西

- It's the uprising.

-這是暴亂！

Have they taken any hostages?

他們有帶走任何人質嗎？

- You aren't leaving until you crap out a butterfly!

-在你變成一隻蝴蝶以前，我們是不會放你走的！

- I hate, hate, hate, hate to admit this,

-我真的真的很不想跟你承認這一點

but I think we're gonna need to work together.

但我真心覺得我們應該共同合作

- Nags the Mosqueezo joining the forces of good...

-納姿蚊女王加入善良的這一方了...

interesting plot twist.

真是有趣的故事轉折

Would you swear allegiance to me?

那妳會對我宣誓效忠嗎？

- As Nags the Mosqueezo,

-身為納姿蚊女王

I declare that you may keep all the gravitons

我鄭重宣布，你們可以保有任何你們

you have rightfully earned.

本應拿到的重力子

- But as VIP Dingernauts,

-但身為丁格黨的尊貴成員

you now have the opportunity to purchase passes

你們現在有機會來跟我購買旅行的通行證

to see the last feature of our tour--

好去看這趟旅行當中的最後一個景點...

Ermagerd and her third.

「偶滴添啊和她的第3個胸部」

- Wait. The whole thing or just the nipple?

-等一下，是可以看整個胸部，還是只能看到奶頭？

- All of it, for all of your gravitons.

-如果把全部的重力子都給我，就可以看整個胸部

[all whispering indistinctly]

(所有人竊竊私語)

- Deal. - Thank God.

-成交 -感謝主

Hand over the balls.

把球交出來

- Welcome.

-歡迎你們

Come closer, and I will reveal the third to you.

再靠近一點，我就會把我第3個胸部展現給你們看

[magical futuristic music]

(奇幻新潮音樂)

- Boobs are magic.

-巨乳真的是太神奇了

- Help!

-救命啊！

Anyone?

有沒有人啊？

Puberty's a bitch.

我真的是受夠青春期了= = (譯註: bitch在此解釋成令人厭煩的人事物)