- "Are you uncomfortable?" He whispered.

-「妳是不是還沒被滿足呢？」他低聲呢喃著

And she was.

她的確是如此沒錯

She suckled the red juice of his ungloved fingers.

她吸吮著他沒戴手套的手指上那紅色愛液

Warm and slippery.

溫熱且滑順

Underneath the table, his organ strained to essence.

桌子底下，他的器官本能的緊繃了起來

"I'm here for you."

「今晚我就專屬於妳一個人」

He said as she grabbed handfuls of his hair.

話還沒說完，她滿手緊抓著他的頭髮不放

Her dewy honeypot sticky with sweetness.

她濕透的蜜壺黏稠又甜美

- [groans] - His probing piston

- (呻吟) -他恨不得馬上進行活塞運動

hot and raw sought her damp cavern.

滾燙又生硬地探索她那濕透的洞穴

He knew how to properly handle a woman

他知道該如何取悅一個女人

and a fish, but both together?

和一條魚，但如果兩者一起呢？

As she approached lubricated frenzy,

正當她快要到達高潮的那一刻

he leaned in and whispered-- - Seriously?

他傾身並在她耳邊低語道...... -這樣就有反應？

-I want all of you... - Wha--

-我要得到全部的妳... -誰，是誰？

[groans]

(呻吟聲)

I think I just sprained my--

我覺得我好像扭傷了我的...

Never mind.

當我沒說

[upbeat music]

(俏皮音樂)

- This is America

- 這裡是美國

Land of dreams

夢想的發源之地

Everyone can climb higher

每個人都能高高在上

- Not you, though

- 你錯了，你明知道自己

- You're stuck here

被困在這裡

- 'Cause you're a part-timer

因為你只是個實習工讀生

- Yeah!

- 耶~

- You can do anything

- 想做什麼都隨心所欲

- As long it's not hard

- 前提是不要太難

- And you can go anywhere

- 想去哪玩也隨心所欲

- As soon as you get a car

- 前提是你得有車

- You're gonna be a huge success

- 你就能坐擁天下

- Come on, that's not who you are

- 拜託，你以為你是誰？

- You're a part-timer cursed with full-time dreams

- 實習工讀生是一種詛咒

And this low-paying job

雖然充滿夢想

Is as bad as it seems

但薪水就跟表面看起來一樣的糟

Bad as it seems

一樣糟糕

What the [bleep] are you doing here?

你到底是吃錯什麼藥？

Whoa

哇喔

What the [bleep] are you doing here?

你怎麼還不趕快滾，還繼續待在這裡

Oh

喔

But seriously, dude. - Like, what the [bleep]?

兄弟，認真的嗎？ -什麼啊，搞什麼鬼？

- Romance? Me?

-浪漫？ 和我？

Ms. Cleon, are you reading my moon sign right?

克琳小姐，妳確定妳有正確解讀我的月亮星座嗎？

I'm not the psychic one here, but...

我可不是瘋子，但是...

the men in Sacramento are like-- - Lori!

山克拉門都(美國加州首府)的男人都好...... -羅莉！

- Like boys. Call you next week.

-像小屁孩一樣，我下禮拜再打給妳

Lori, the health inspector's here and he's gonna fail us

羅莉，衛生稽查員就要來了，他這一次肯定會評我們不及格

and my dad said he won't bail me out this time.

而且我爸說他這次不會再罩我了

It's so unfair! You burn down one Donut Hut--

這真的是太不公平了！他跟我說什麼「你上次可是燒掉了一間甜甜圈小屋...」

- You don't have to worry.

-這你不需要擔心

I got a strategy that works every time.

我有一招屢試不爽的妙計

- What if the inspector finds the rat droppings?

-那要是衛生稽查員發現那些老鼠屎怎麼辦？

Or the larva? Or the cheese lice?

或是發現那些幼蟲，或是起司上面的蝨子，該怎麼辦？

- Don't worry about that.

-別窮擔心了

First, never let them lead.

首先，主導權可不能落入他們手中

As long as I'm in front, I'm in charge.

只要我還在前線，我就是負責人

Which brings me to number two. Literally.

這也同時讓我想到了第2點，我說真的

Never let them see the upstairs staff bathroom.

絕對不能讓他們看到樓上的員工洗手間

That's self explanatory.

我想那不需要我多做解釋吧

- I didn't even know we had an upstairs staff bathroom.

-我完全不知道我們樓上竟然有員工廁所

- None of that even matters because the inspector is Carol

-你什麼也不需要擔心，因為這次的稽查員是卡蘿

and we play on the same softball league

我們曾經在一個專給沒小孩的大人玩的

for childless adults. - But, Lori--

壘球隊上打過球 -可是，羅莉...

- Calm yourself down.

-把你自己冷靜下來，好嗎？

Oh, I better go clear the hotdog skins

喔，對了，我最好把堵住廚房水槽

from the kitchen sink.

的熱狗皮清理乾淨

Send her over in ten.

待會10點的時候帶她進來

- [slurps]

- (吸飲料的聲音)

- Pete, you want your shave clean.

-皮特，我覺得你應該把你自己刮乾淨

Smooth. Intentional.

滑順且有意圖的

The eyes might be the window to the soul,

雙眼或許是靈魂之窗

but the face is the escape hatch to the mind.

但臉蛋可是通往心靈的逃生艙

Now hand me that sweet Schick Hydro razor.

現在請給我那把用了心情會很好的「舒適牌刮鬍刀」

- Okay, weird guy that says the full names of products.

-呃，好喔，會把品牌名稱唸出來的怪人

- Whoa.

-哇嗚

- Oh, Pete just got his first whisker.

-喔，沒有啦，皮特終於長落腮鬍了

- Yeah, but it was a thick one.

-對啊，但這一次有比較多

- Weird.

-真是詭異

Hey, Pete, could you stay after work and quiz me?

嘿，皮特，你下班之後能不能留下來幫我小考試？

I've got an exam for nursing school

我在護校有個考試

and I could really use your help.

而我現在真的非常需要你的幫忙

- Yeah, sure. Yeah.

-好啊，那有什麼問題，沒問題啊

- Thanks, Pete.

-太好了，謝謝你皮特

both: Ooh.

兩人異口同聲: 吼~~

- Holy shiz.

-夭壽喔~~

- What? - Bang-a-rang.

-什麼啦？ -乒碰乓

- Guys, what? - Pete...

-兄弟們，怎樣啦？ -皮特...

today's the day you become a man.

今天是你正式成為男人的日子

Now, obviously,

現在，很明顯的

Mads wants to take your relationship to the next level.

麥姿想將你們倆的關係往下一個階段發展

- Really? - Of course, dude.

-真的嗎？ -你這不是廢話，兄弟？

She just asked for your "help".

她剛剛才請求你的「幫忙」

That's an invitation to do stuff.

那就已經是在暗示你邀請你去做「那檔事」

- What stuff? - All the stuff.

-哪種事？ -就是那種事

- Front stuff. Back stuff. Side-to-side.

-從前面來，從後面來，還有從那邊到這邊

- How...do I know when... to do this stuff?

-我...怎麼知道什麼時候...該做那種事了？

- All females are different.

-每個女人其實都不太一樣的

Some hop around when they're ready.

有些準備好了就跳來跳去

Some shake their haunches.

有些好了就開始扭腰擺臀

Some simply present their genitals when they're in estrus.

還有的女人感覺來了就願意獻出她們的私處

- Look, dude, older women will just straight up tell you

-聽著，老兄，年紀大一點的女性在準備好

when they're ready to do the stuff.

要做那檔事時，都會直接告訴你

Any of your mom's friends on Facebook?

你FB上面有沒有任何你老媽的朋友？

How about your friend's moms?

那你朋友的媽媽呢？

[upbeat music]

(俏皮音樂)

[water sloshing]

(攪拌水的聲音)

- Are you fingering the rim?

-請問妳在用手指清理水管嗎？

[Spanish music]

(西式音樂)

What you need is a little backend wetness.

你所需要的只是一點後端的濕潤

Are you Lori?

請問妳是蘿莉嗎？

- Dale Stevens, Department of Health.

-我是戴爾史帝文斯，衛生管理局的人

- Oh. Wh--where's Carol?

-喔，卡蘿去哪裡了？

- Severe cat bites. Shall I lead?

-被貓嚴重咬傷，我可以來主導嗎？

[pen clicks]

(開啟筆管聲)

- Hot and raw. - Ex--excuse me?

-滾燙又生硬 -不..不好意思，你剛剛說什麼？

- Your meats. They're hot and raw.

-妳的肉，它們溫熱卻未熟

All raw meats are supposed to be kept under 34 degrees.

所有的生肉都應當冷藏在低於華氏34度(相當於攝氏1度)的溫度下

- I-I'm sure they should be.

-我..我知道這些肉是該這樣處理

- Your honeypot is sticky with sweetness.

-妳的蜜壺黏稠又甜美

- [moans softly]

- (快喘不過氣)

- You need to wipe the spillover down to, uh,

-妳必須把溢出來的蜜給擦乾淨，呃...

avoid pupa infestation.

才能避免蟻蟲出沒

[Spanish music]

(西式音樂)

- The AC is out. It's not usually--

-冷氣壞掉了，其實它通常是不會...

- A damp cavern?

-像一個潮濕的洞穴？

- Yes, a damp cavern.

-沒有錯，就是潮濕的洞穴

- Is this blood? - Juice.

-這是血嗎？ -不是，是果汁

There's a carpet bump and-- - Whoa!

地毯有個隆起，然後就... -哇！

- Pete! - Oh, God! Sorry!

-皮特！ -喔我的天，對不起！

- Suckling the red juice from his ungloved fingers.

-吸吮著他沒戴手套的手指上那紅色汁液

- Stop suckling your fingers and go get a towel.

-不要在吸你的手指了，趕快去拿毛巾

- Sweet Jesus.

-喔我的耶穌啊

- Are we-- are we failing?

-我..我們會不合格嗎？

Why are you sweating? Are we failing?

妳怎麼在冒冷汗？我們是不是要被打不合格了？

- I'm not sweating. Everything's normal.

-我才沒有在冒汗，一切都很正常

I'm drying out my parts. - Okay.

我只是在把我的衣服弄乾 -好喔

[Spanish music]

(西式音樂)

- [growls] - Oh!

- (吼叫聲) -喔，妳想嚇死我啊？

- So I hear you know about the stuff.

-我聽說你知道「那檔事」了吼？

- What stuff? - The stuff.

-哪檔事？ -那檔事

- Oh.

-喔

Well...yeah.

呃...對啊

Um...

嗯...

How do I know... when...

我怎麼知道...什麼時候...

to do the stuff? - Mm-hmm.

要做「那檔事」？ -嗯亨

- She'll let you know. You know?

-她會讓你了解的，你知道嗎？

"No" is easy.

其實說「不」很簡單

She'll make excuses like,

她會編造一些藉口像是

"My dog's sick." You know?

「我的狗狗生病了」你懂的

"I'm washing my hair." "I'm tired."

「我在洗頭髮呢」，「我想我累了」

Crap like that.

諸如那樣的廢話

- So...what's a "yes"?

-所以，什麼時候的意思會是「好」？

- Are you getting the "yes"?

-意會到我所謂「好」的意思了嗎？

- Yes.

-懂了

- Good.

-太好了

- Good luck out there now.

-祝你到時好運啦

- His nimble fingers danced

-他靈活的手指在她新長出來的腳上

down her newly-formed limbs.

向下舞動搖擺著

("National Bestseller," "Pleasuring over a million women a year.") She may have been both woman and fish,

(「全國熱賣暢銷」、「每年取悅百萬位女性」) 她或許是個女人同時也是魚

but he was all-- - Where have you been?

但他可是完完全全的... -你去哪裡了？

The juice is hardening--

果汁的污漬都要變硬...

What are you doing? That is my private, personal--

你現在在做什麼？那是我私人、個人的...

- I'm sorry, Lori.

-我很抱歉，蘿莉

I just wanted to know about the stuff.

我只是想知道「那檔事」

- Is that him? - What?

-那是他，沒錯吧？ -妳在說什麼？

- The voice of the Health Inspector.

-衛生稽查員的聲音

Is he the narrator?

他是不是就是那個旁白？

- Oh, I don't know.

-喔，這我不清楚耶

- Is Dale the voice? - I don't know!

-是不是戴爾的聲音？ -我不知道啦！

- Just go ask him.

-妳就去問他啊

He's on his way to the staff bathroom.

他在前往員工洗手間的路上

- The staff bathroom?

-糟了，員工洗手間？

[sighs]

(嘆氣)

Just ask her out and don't be a jerk.

直接把她約出去就好，別像個笨蛋一樣

[Spanish music]

(西式音樂)

Sir. Dale--

戴爾先生...

- I don't know what to say here, Lori.

-我真不知道我該怎麼說，蘿莉

The walls are slippery.

牆壁很滑

There's enough viscous liquid on the floor

在地上有一灘黏稠的液體

to create a lubricated frenzy.

令人濕潤到慾火焚身

- That's it! Stop it! - Excuse me?

-真是夠了！別再說了！ -不好意思，妳剛剛是在..？

- You can't come here, get me all riled up,

-你不能來這裡用你滿是性感的聲音

practically licking my body with your sultry voice

和誘惑性的言語舔得我到處都是

and provocative words. - What? I never intended--

讓我慾火焚身 -什麼？我從來都沒有故意要...

- Are you him?

-你是他嗎？

You're him, right? Just tell me you're him.

你就是他，對吧？你就坦白跟我說你就是他，就好啦

- Him who? - The voice of the erotic novel.

-他是誰？ -唸那些情色小說的人

You've pleasured over a million women a year.

你每年都取悅了上百萬的女人啊

- I have? - You haven't?

-我有嗎？ -你敢說你沒有？

- I haven't.

-也許...有吧

- Oh.

-喔

- What would you like me to do?

-妳想要我怎麼做？

[Spanish music]

(西式音樂)

- I want you to, um...

-我要你對我，嗯...

[inhales sharply] Talk me off.

(急速抽氣) 讓我高潮

- Okay.

-好的

"Will you go out with me?"

「妳是否願意和我出去約會呢？」

[Spanish music]

(西式音樂)

- Here's your grade, kid.

-這是妳的成績單，寶貝

- An "A"? We don't deserve this.

-是A？可是我們不值得這樣的分數

- But you do, Lori.

-但妳值得，羅莉

- [sighs] I can't take this.

- (嘆氣) 我不能接受

It's not right. Just give us the grade we got.

這樣是不對的，給我們該得到的成績就好

- But I'd have to shut you down on the spot.

-那我只好把妳們勒令停業了

- Okay, give us a "B". - Okay.

-好吧，那給我們B就好 -好喔

- Now...kiss me like it's the last time, Dale.

-現在，戴爾，請你當作以後沒有我似的瘋狂親我吧

- It is the last time, Lori.

-是不會有以後了，羅莉

I have to saddle up and ship off to Ohio.

我之後得乘船前往俄亥俄

Diphtheria outbreak in a major cracker factory.

在一間白喉肆虐的大型餅乾製造工廠出差 (譯註: Diphtheria是由白喉棒狀桿菌所引起的一種急性呼吸道傳染病，於秋冬時節較為常見)

- [sighs]

- (嘆氣)

I hope you make it back alive, but if you don't,

我真希望你能活著回來，但如果不能

we always have the staff bathroom.

我希望你永遠記住我們的員工洗手間

[Spanish music]

(西式音樂)

- Cardiopulmonary resuscitation.

- 心肺復甦術 (即俗稱的CPR)

Heart stoppage.

心跳停止

When the heart stops, the lack of oxygenated blood

心臟停止跳動的時候，因為缺少充氧血

can cause brain damage within two minutes.

會在2分鐘以內造成腦部受損

Ugh, I'm done.

啊，我做夠了

I'm so done.

今天大概這樣就可以了

- Are you sure? Uh, there's just a couple more.

-妳確定嗎？ 呃，這裡還有一些字卡耶...

- Nah, I'm tired.

-不用了，我覺得好累

And I got to get home to wash my hair before tomorrow.

而且我必須趕在明天之前回到家洗頭髮

Plus, my dog's sick. - Oh.

再說了，我的狗狗生病了呢 -喔

I get it.

我懂了

You don't have a dog. - What?

妳其實沒有養狗，對吧？ -你在說什麼啊？

Of course I have a dog.

我當然有養狗啊

He's probably vomiting all over the floor right now.

牠現在說不定已經吐得滿地都是了

- Wait, really?

-等等，這是真的嗎？

Awesome.

太好了

Err, I, uh-- I mean I hope he gets better.

呃，我，呃... 我的意思是希望牠早點好起來

- Thanks, Pete.

-謝你喔，皮特

- His nimble fingers

他那靈活的手指

danced down her newly-formed limbs.

在她新長成的腳上向下舞動搖擺著

She may have been both woman and fish,

或許她是個女人，但同時也是一條魚

but he was all man

但他可是真正的男人

and he knew exactly how to handle

而且他非常地了解如何駕馭

his taut, wet line.

他那緊繃、濕潤的線條

[both inhale slowly]

(一同緩緩吸氣)

[both sigh]

(一同嘆氣)

- Wait, did he just [bleep] a fish?

-等一下，他剛才是不是和一條魚做了愛？

[upbeat music]

(俏皮音樂)