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  • [children chanting] Pork E.! Pork E.! Pork E.!

    (小朋友叫聲) 小箭豬!小箭豬!小箭豬!

  • Pork E.! Pork E.! Pork E.! Pork E.!

    小箭豬!小箭豬!小箭豬!小箭豬!

  • [techno music]

    (電子音樂)

  • [music stops, stutters]

    (音樂暫停,斷斷續續)

  • - No.

    -不!

  • Damn it, Mads, you're jamming my flow.

    該死的,麥姿,妳打亂了我的節奏

  • I told you to go around during showtime.

    我跟妳講過多少次,表演的時候要繞道走

  • - Sorry.

    -對不起嘛

  • - [sighs]

    -(嘆氣)

  • [techno music resumes]

    (繼續播放電子音樂)

  • - Put on your pee pants, pants,

    -現在最好把你們的尿布穿好

  • because things are about to get crazy.

    因為接下來會發生很瘋狂的事情

  • It's the moment you've all been waiting for.

    眾所矚目,期待接下來的這一刻

  • It's the performance of a lifetime.

    這可是一場千載難逢的表演

  • It comes every third hour on the hour.

    每3小時表演一次,每次表演1小時

  • The king of quills.

    刺刺之王

  • The prince of prick.

    刺刺王子

  • Mr. Pork E. Pine!

    小箭豬先生!

  • [children chanting] Pork E.!

    (小朋友叫聲) 小箭豬!

  • [children cheering]

    (小朋友歡呼聲)

  • [wacky music playing]

    (播放搞怪音樂)

  • - [high-pitched singing] Hey it's Pork E. time

    -(高音調音樂) 嘿,是小箭豬

  • Hey its Pork E. time

    嘿,是小箭豬

  • Pork E. time

    小箭豬

  • [playful music]

    (俏皮音樂)

  • - [man singing] This is America

    - (男聲) 這裡是美國

  • Land of dreams

    夢想的發源之地

  • Everyone can climb higher

    每個人都能高高在上

  • - [women singing] No you know you're stuck here

    - (女聲) 你錯了,你明知道自己被困在這裡

  • 'Cause you're a part-timer yeah

    因為你只是個實習工讀生,耶~

  • - [man singing] You can do anything

    - (男聲) 想做什麼都隨心所欲

  • - [woman singing] As long as it's not hard

    - (女聲) 前提是不要太難

  • - [man singing] And you can go anywhere

    - (男聲) 想去哪玩也隨心所欲

  • - [woman singing] As soon as you get a car

    - (女聲) 前提是你得有車

  • - [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success

    - (男聲) 你就能坐擁天下

  • - [woman singing] Come on that's not who you are

    - (女聲) 拜託,你以為你是誰?

  • - [man singing] You're a part-timer cursed

    - (男聲) 實習工讀生是一種詛咒

  • With full-time dreams

    雖然你充滿夢想

  • And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems

    但薪水就跟表面看起來一樣的糟

  • Bad as it seems

    一樣糟糕

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

    你到底是吃錯什麼藥?

  • Whoa

    哇屋

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

    到底為什麼要來這裡啊?

  • Oh

    喔~

  • Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]?

    兄弟,認真的嗎? -你到底在這裡做什麼啊?

  • [wacky music playing]

    (播放搞怪音樂)

  • - Excuse me?

    -不好意思

  • I work in TV,

    我是在電視臺工作的人

  • and I want to talk to someone about Pork E.

    我想跟這裡的負責人討論一下小箭豬

  • Do you know who's in charge here?

    你知道這裡的負責人是誰嗎?

  • - This guy.

    -哈哈,我就是

  • Well, technically, it's that guy.

    好啦,其實是那個傢伙

  • [wacky music continues]

    (搞怪音樂繼續播放)

  • - Thank you.

    -好..喔..謝謝你

  • - [high-pitched singing] Pork E. Pine

    -(高音調音樂) 嘿,是小箭豬

  • - Guys, we're gonna be on a TV commercial!

    -各位,我們很快就要上電視廣告了耶!

  • - Wow! - [laughs]

    -哇~ -(笑聲)

  • - And Ian is gonna star as the face of childhood obesity.

    -伊恩即將成為肥胖兒童界的明星呢

  • - Oh, because he looks like a fat child.

    -喔,是因為他看起來像胖小孩嗎?

  • - No.

    -才不是

  • Because Pork E. may be portly,

    因為小箭雖然只是一隻豬

  • but he can still dance.

    但牠可是會跳舞呢

  • And that is what childhood obesity is all about.

    而這就解釋所有關於肥胖兒童的事了

  • - What are the rest of us doing for the commercial?

    -其他人的角色是什麼啊?

  • - [scoffs]

    - (噗哧聲)

  • - Oh, nothing.

    -喔,沒有其他角色

  • Ian is the only one in the commercial.

    伊恩是當中唯一的角色

  • Did I not make that clear?

    我剛剛沒跟你們講清楚嗎?

  • - He does look like a fat child.

    -他確實看起來就是個胖小屁孩

  • - Guys, we can all watch it on TV together.

    -各位,我們可以一起看那個廣告啊

  • - Hey. Can a fat child do this?

    -嘿,胖小孩能做和我一樣的動作嗎?

  • [scatting]

    (擬聲歌唱)

  • Can a fat child do this?

    胖小孩能做這招嗎?

  • Whoa--aah!

    哇~~啊啊

  • [crashes] Ow!

    (摔倒) 噢

  • [lively music]

    (輕快音樂)

  • - No, no, no. What happened to your leg?

    -你在搞什麼飛機,你的腳出什麼事了?

  • - They said if I put any more pressure on it,

    -醫生說如果我再對我的腿施加壓力的話

  • it'll snap like a twig.

    它會像斷掉的樹枝一樣

  • Dude, I had to borrow this scooter from my Nana

    所以老兄,我必須跟我奶奶借她的代步車

  • in exchange for taking her to water aerobics for a month.

    然後以帶她去做水上有氧運動1個月,來作為交換條件

  • - This is a huge opportunity for us.

    這次對我們來說可是大好機會

  • Don't you understand, man?

    你懂不懂啊,老兄?

  • Thousands of dollars in free advertising.

    數千美元和免費的廣告宣傳耶

  • - I understand, but I can't dance, man.

    -我知道,可是我現在就是沒辦法跳舞啊

  • - [sighs]

    - (嘆氣)

  • [techno music playing]

    (播放電子音樂)

  • Then you'll teach someone who can.

    那你就應該教會跳舞的人來跳

  • - Forget it.

    -你們打消這個念頭吧

  • Every time they go near that suit,

    每次他們接近那套服裝的時候

  • Ian leaves a single piece of poop in my locker.

    伊恩都會在我的儲物櫃裡留下一坨屎

  • - That was just one little nug.

    -那只是一坨小小的屎,好嗎?

  • And I warned you: no one touches the suit.

    而且我警告過你,沒有人可以碰那件服裝

  • - That nug stunk for weeks

    -那臭味揮之不散整整一個星期耶

  • and ruined my limited edition Bono AIDS iPod.

    還毀了我的限量版波諾愛滋紅色iPod

  • - Okay, no one who likes Bono deserves the suit.

    -拜託,喜歡那款波諾iPod的人都不配穿上那套服裝好嗎?

  • - Ian, if we get the pork man on TV,

    -伊嗯,你想想,如果我們能把箭豬人弄到電視上

  • he'll be a celebrity, and that means you'll be a celebrity.

    他就會因而成名,這也意味著你我也將一起成名

  • - Okay, fine.

    -好啦,隨便啦

  • But I'm not gonna take it easy on him.

    但我可不會讓他在訓練過程當中那麼好過

  • When he's dancing, he's representing me.

    因為他跳舞的時候,他代表的人可是我耶

  • - All right.

    -好喔

  • Dinger?

    丁格,你覺得呢?

  • - I'll do it.

    -好吧,我試試看

  • I'll do it for Nana's scooter.

    不過我要以阿嬷的代步車作為交換條件

  • [chuckles]

    (笑聲)

  • - Yes! Going to Hollywood, guys.

    -這樣才對嘛,大伙一起邁進好萊塢囉

  • [wheels squeaking]

    (車輪吱叫聲)

  • - Wrong. Wrong.

    -不對,不是這樣

  • You can't put on the suit until your body is prepped and lubed.

    你還不能穿上那套服裝,因為你的身體還沒準備好也不夠濕潤

  • - Whatever, dude.

    -隨便啦,老兄

  • - Oh, you think this is funny?

    -喔,你覺得這件事可以那麼隨便嗎?

  • Do you think these are funny?

    你覺得這像是在辦家家酒嗎?

  • [dramatic music]

    (誇張戲劇性音樂)

  • - Oh, God. - Yeah.

    -喔天啊 -沒有錯

  • What are you gonna do when your nipples start to sweat?

    當你的乳頭開始出汗的時候,你該怎麼辦?

  • And that sweat turns into salt crystals,

    汗水會開始結晶成塊

  • which then turns into little tiny razor blades...

    然後成了微小的刀片...

  • - No. - That shred your soft,

    -不要說了 -它會把你軟軟的

  • sweet nipple meat.

    乳頭肉切絲

  • Don't even get me started on

    你應該不會想聽我說

  • what's gonna happen to your thighs.

    如果這發生在你的大腿之間會怎麼樣吧?

  • Now let's get you lubed up.

    現在就來讓我幫你潤滑一下

  • Oh, Jesus, Dinger.

    喔,天啊,丁格

  • Really?

    在開玩笑嗎?

  • [lively music]

    (活潑音樂)

  • - Hey, girl, I'm covering the prize booth, and--

    -嘿女孩們,我打算要負責獎品區,還有就是...

  • [funky music]

    (怪奇音樂)

  • Ooh. I'll figure it out.

    喔... 算了我自己解決

  • - Is it supposed to feel so good?

    -這感覺真的有那麼讚嗎?

  • - Can you please just not say that while I'm down here?

    -你可不可以不要在我蹲下來的時候講這種話?

  • - Yeah.

    -好啦

  • (Prize Booth Guide) (-Look super good -Never give out the big prizes--unless they share -Don't let Pete touch anything.)

    (獎品區管理指南) (-這份工作超讚的 -除非孩子們懂得分享玩具,否則別把最大獎送出去 -別讓皮特碰任何東西)

  • - Hey, Ding--or--

    -嘿,丁格

  • Hi, Lori. You're working prizes now?

    -嗨,羅莉,現在換妳在負責獎品區啊?

  • - Just like I did in '96.

    -對啊,我在1996年以前也負責過這一區

  • Dinger makes this out to be rocket science,

    丁格把這裡搞得像在研究科學火箭一樣複雜

  • but it's just counting tickets and handing out toys.

    不過就只是數遊戲票券跟發送獎品嗎?

  • - What do I get for this?

    -這些夠我換什麼獎品?

  • - Oh, well, let's see what you got.

    -喔,沒問題,我們來看看妳有多少張票券啊

  • All right, one...two...

    好來,1...2...

  • - I want a stretchy hand and I want it now.

    -我要黏手玩具,現在,立刻,馬上,給我

  • - As soon as I'm done counting.

    -我數完之後才輪得到妳唷

  • - My parents are in the car, so let's not keep 'em waiting.

    -我父母都待在車上,不要讓他們等太久

  • Huh, toots?

    聽到沒有,櫃台小姐?

  • [dramatic music] - I want it all!

    (誇張戲劇性音樂) -我全部都想要

  • - You will give this place the respect it deserves.

    -你們在這個地方要有應有的禮貌與尊重!

  • Mads.

    麥姿

  • - It's mine!

    -那是我的!

  • [all screaming]

    (小孩瘋狂尖叫聲)

  • [dramatic music swells]

    (誇張戲劇性音樂漸趨大聲)

  • [watch beeps]

    (手錶嗶嗶聲)

  • - Workout gear! What do you think?

    -運動專用裝!怎麼樣呀,酷吧?

  • - Are those Ella's shorts?

    -你穿的是艾拉的短褲嗎?

  • Dude, you shouldn't go through other peoples' lockers.

    -老兄,你不應該隨便就翻別人的置物櫃

  • That's not cool. - Oh, it's cool to crap in 'em?

    那樣很不道德 -喔,留一坨屎在他人的置物櫃就很有道德了,是嗎?

  • Come on, man, just give me the suit.

    拜託,老兄,就直接讓我穿上那套服裝嘛

  • Hey. Hey!

    嘿,嘿

  • - You don't get to wear the suit

    -在你能完全應付那套難搞的服裝之前

  • until you can handle wearing the suit.

    你都還不能穿上它

  • - Just gonna grab this-- - No.

    -我只是想拿一下這個... -不可以

  • - Aah.

    -啊

  • - Your training...starts now.

    -魔鬼訓練...從現在開始

  • [intense music]

    (緊張音樂)

  • The suit is heavy.

    這套服裝很重

  • It puts pressure on your shoulders,

    整個壓力會施展在你的肩膀上

  • your legs, and, sometimes after dry cleaning,

    你的腿,有的時候那套服裝拿去乾洗之後

  • your junk.

    你的下體也會受到壓迫

  • Also...the suit is dark.

    再說了,服裝裡面可是烏漆抹黑

  • - [whimpers]

    (哀怨聲)

  • - The suit it taxing.

    -穿上那套服裝可是很費力的

  • I once made it all the way to the locker room

    有一次我穿著這件套裝走進置物櫃的時候

  • before I realized I had a kid stuck in my quills.

    才發現有個小孩掛在我後面的野豬刺上面

  • Lastly, the suit is hot.

    最後,穿上這套服裝會變得很熱

  • - Wait.

    -等一下~

  • - Five, six, seven, eight.

    -5, 6, 7, 8

  • Cross over front.

    交叉向前

  • Cross over back.

    交叉再向後

  • Pull!

    用力拉!

  • Now jump into a split.

    跳起來之後再劈腿

  • - I can't, I-- - Jump, damn you.

    -我沒辦法,我... -叫你跳就跳,不要囉嗦

  • [intense music continues]

    (持續播放緊張音樂)

  • I might have taken this a bit too far.

    我對他可能有點過於嚴格了

  • - No, this is for television, man.

    -才不會,這可都是為了要上電視,老兄

  • - You're right. Ten more minutes.

    -你說的沒錯,再關10分鐘

  • [scary music] - Where are their parents?

    (可怕音樂) -他們的父母是都跑去哪了?

  • - I thought you've done this before.

    -你不是之前有負責過嗎

  • - Hey, what's up, guys?

    -嘿大家,出了什麼事了啊?

  • - Watch out, Pete, they can smell fear!

    -小心,皮特,他們能嗅得出你的恐懼

  • - It's already too late! Aah!

    -妳太晚說了啦,啊~~~

  • - Hand over the helicopter and no one else gets hurt.

    -不想其他人也受傷的話,就把直升機給交出來!

  • - Never. - Aah!

    -妳作夢! -啊!

  • - For the 100th time,

    -都說了幾百次

  • cross over front...

    交叉向前

  • Jump kick right.

    往右踢

  • And jump into a split.

    跳起來之後劈腿

  • - I...I can't.

    -我...我做不到啦

  • - I said jump!

    -我叫你跳!

  • - I don't think I can do it!

    -我覺得自己做不到啦!

  • - Jump split, damn you!

    -我叫你跳然後劈腿!!

  • - [whines]

    -(哀嚎慘叫)

  • - Congratulations.

    -恭喜你了

  • You're ready.

    你已經準備好了

  • - [exhales weakly]

    -(累得氣喘如牛)

  • [dramatic music] [children clamoring]

    (誇張戲劇性音樂) (小孩吵鬧聲)

  • - Ow! Oh, my God.

    -喔!我的天啊

  • - I got a plan. Cover me.

    -我想到一個點子,掩護我!

  • I said cover me!

    我說掩護我!!

  • [children shouting]

    (小孩叫喊聲)

  • Hey, hey, hey!

    嘿,嘿,嘿!!

  • This what y'all want? Huh? Huh?

    你們都很想要直升機對不對?蛤?對不對?

  • - Yeah.

    -對啊

  • - Come on, get it. Come on.

    -那就來啊,來拿啊,來吧

  • [children screaming]

    (小孩尖叫)

  • [dramatic music]

    (誇張戲劇性音樂)

  • - Hey, you can't lock us in here.

    -嘿,妳不能把我們鎖在這裡

  • - You got an iPhone. Text your parents.

    -管妳的,自己用妳們的愛瘋向爸媽求助

  • - What's your Wi-Fi password?

    -這裡的無線網路密碼多少啊?

  • - [sighs] -(Closed for Filming)

    -(嘆氣) -(因拍攝影片,暫停營業)

  • - Action.

    -開拍

  • Action.

    開拍

  • Action. - That's my chair.

    開始拍攝 -這是我的椅子

  • - Oh. Oh, yeah, sorry.

    -喔,喔,對吼,抱歉

  • Uh, you just have a trailer I can just hang out in?

    呃,妳有沒有明星的拖車能讓我參觀一下 ?

  • - Yeah.

    -應該...有..吧

  • - Where is it?

    -能麻煩妳告訴我嗎?

  • - I can't do this.

    -我做不到

  • - Hey. - [muffled scream]

    -嘿 -(低沉慘叫)

  • - Listen, listen.

    -聽著,聽我說

  • You're gonna nail it,

    你會順利完成拍攝

  • Pork E .'s gonna be famous,

    小箭豬會從此一舉成名

  • and Nana's never gonna see this scooter again.

    你阿嬤也不用再看到她那臺代步車

  • Got it? - Okay.

    明白嗎? -明白

  • - Places, please. - Go.

    -請就位 -去吧

  • Hey, no, no. This way, this way, this way.

    嘿不對不對,這裡啦,這邊才對

  • - I wish I was back in the trunk.

    -我寧可一直待在後車箱

  • - Go.

    -快去

  • - And action.

    -開始拍攝

  • - Action. That's an action.

    -拍攝,導演說開拍了

  • [wacky music playing]

    (播放搞怪音樂)

  • - Come on, Dinger, come on.

    -來吧,丁格,別讓我漏氣

  • - [high-pitched singing] Hey it's Pork E. time

    -(高音調歌聲) 嘿,是小箭豬

  • [wacky music continues]

    (繼續播放搞怪音樂)

  • - [grunts]

    -(呼嚕聲)

  • - What is he doing?

    -他在做什麼啊?

  • - [grunting]

    -(呼嚕聲)

  • - I think he's-- - Is he?

    -我猜他應該是在... -他是在?

  • - No.

    -不會吧

  • - I just pooped in your suit!

    -我剛才在服裝裡面拉了屎!

  • - What? - You mother[bleep]!

    -什麼鬼? -你他媽的!

  • Ow! - It's just a nug.

    噢!-只是一坨屎而已啦

  • Oh, wait.

    喔,等一下

  • He might have a friend.

    它可能會有朋友了

  • [grunting]

    (呼嚕聲)

  • - I'm gonna kill you!

    -我一定把你給殺了!

  • - The second one was for Bono!

    -第2坨屎是為了我的波諾愛滋iPod!

  • Whoo.

    喔~

  • Yeah!

    耶!

  • - No, no, no.

    -不,不行,不要啊~~

  • [wheels squeaking] Aah!

    (車輪吱叫聲) 啊!

  • - Whoo! - Dinger!

    -喔! -丁格!