world a long time ago, but if there's one thing

世界很久以前，但如果有一件事'。

you can be sure of--

你可以肯定的是 --

JOHN: I wish you could really talk to me.

我希望你能和我好好談談。

MALE SPEAKER: It's that nothing is more powerful than

男聲：就是沒有什麼比這更有力量了。

a young boy's wish.

一個小男孩'的願望。

TED: You're my best friend, John.

你是我最好的朋友，約翰。你是我最好的朋友，約翰。

I love you.

我愛你

MALE SPEAKER: But eventually, everyone grows up.

男發言人：但最終，每個人都會成長起來。

TED: I'm taking Laurie to dinner.

TED:我要帶Laurie去吃晚飯。

You don't she's going to be expecting

你不知道她在等什麼？

something big, do you?

大的東西，你呢？

TED: It's been four years, Johnny.

TED：已經四年了，約翰尼。

You and me have been together for 27 years.

你我已經在一起27年了。

Where's my ring.

我的戒指呢

Huh?

咦？

Where's my ring?

我的戒指呢？

Put it on my pudgy finger, and quit muttering.

把它放在我的胖手指上，別再嘀咕了。

Come on.

來吧。

JOHN: Knock it off.

別鬧了

TED: All right, I'm just saying.

好吧，我只是說說而已。好吧，我只是說。

JOHN: Man.

男人：

TED: That's my bad.

TED:這是我的錯。

I was sending a tweet.

我在發一條推特。

MALE SPEAKER: John.

John.

Hi Thomas, how are you?

嗨，托馬斯，你好嗎？

[CAR ALARM]

[汽車警報]

LAURIE: Baby, please ask Ted to move out so we can move on

寶貝，請讓Ted搬出去，我們才能繼續前進。

with our lives.

與我們的生活。

JOHN: I'm not that psyched to just, like, kick him out.

我不太喜歡把他踢出去。

LAURIE: Oh.

哦

TED: Laurie.

TED：勞裡。

Hey, you're home early.

嘿，你回來早了。

LAURIE: Who are these girls?

這些女孩是誰？

TED: Oh, my god.

TED：哦，我的上帝。

Where are my manners?

我的禮貌在哪裡？

Laurie, this is Angelique, Heavenly, Cherine, and

蘿莉，這位是Angelique，Heavenly，Cherine，還有。

Sauvignon Blanc.

長相思。

I swear to god, her name is Soven Yanblanc.

我向上帝發誓，她的名字叫Soven Yanblanc。

Show her your Chevron card.

給她看你的雪佛龍卡

JOHN: Ted, you gotta move out.

泰德，你得搬走了

I'll help you get on your feet out there, I promise.

我保證會幫你站起來的，我保證。

TED: Bring it in, you bastard.

TED: Bring it in, you bastard:把它帶進來，你這個混蛋。

Come on. (HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) I love you.

來吧 Come on.（高音調的聲音）我愛你。

Sorry, that's the--

對不起，那是...

JOHN: Oh.

哦

TED: The thing.

TED。那個東西.

JOHN: The old--

老...

TED: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

是啊，是啊，是啊。是啊，是啊，是啊。

JOHN: Yeah, I know.

是的，我知道。

I know.

我知道，我知道

TED: I met a girl.

TED:我遇到了一個女孩。

JOHN: Nice.

很好

TED: She's a cashier.

她是個收銀員她是一個收銀員。

Know what I like to do to her?

知道我喜歡對她做什麼嗎？

Something I call a dirty Fozzy.

我稱之為 "骯髒的Fozzy"。

TED: Down here.

TED:在這裡。

Not looking up your towel.

不看你的毛巾。

Swear to god.

對天發誓。

Not looking at your funny business.

不看你的有趣的事情。

JOHN: Sometimes I think back to that Christmas morning when

有時我回想起那個聖誕節的早晨，當

I was eight years old.

我當時八歲。

I wish I'd just gotten a Teddy Ruxpin.

我希望我只是得到了一個泰迪Ruxpin。

[SHOUTING]

[喊叫]

TED: Why are you crying?

TED:你為什麼哭？

JOHN: My junk is squished by the TV.

我的垃圾被電視壓住了。

TED: I look stupid.

TED:我看起來很蠢

JOHN: No you don't.

不，你沒有'沒有。

You look dapper.

你看起來很勇敢

TED: John, I look like something you give to your kid

約翰，我看起來就像你給你孩子的東西約翰，我看起來像你給你的孩子的東西。

when you tell him grandma died.

當你告訴他奶奶死了，