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  • ♪ (music) ♪

    (音樂)

  • (hushed) I have to show you something.

    (悄悄)我必須給你看一個東西.

  • Okay.

    喔.

  • Don't get turned on.

    不要太“性”奮.

  • Okay!

    喔!

  • I'm serious Gaby.

    我是認真的, Gaby.

  • I don't want this to ruin our friendship.

    我不想讓這件事毀掉我們的友情.

  • Is that how you think friendship works?

    友情對你來說就這樣嗎?

  • You just see a vagina and poof, friendship gone?

    只要看到對方的陰道, 磞一聲, 就不是友情了?

  • If that were true I would have no friends.

    如果是這樣的話, 我早就沒半個朋友了.

  • How did you know I was gonna show you my vagina?

    你怎麼知道我要給你看我的陰道?

  • It's been my birthday wish 3 years in a row.

    這是我連續三年的生日願望.

  • Okay--

    太棒了...

  • Allison, c'mon!

    來啦, Allison!

  • What do you have? Show me.

    你怎樣?給我看.

  • Is it a rash? Wart? Herp?

    是皮疹嗎?疣?泡疹?

  • I don't know.

    我不知道.

  • I haven't looked.

    我還沒看.

  • Ever?

    從來沒有?

  • No! It's just

    不是啦!我是說,

  • what if it's an actual STD?

    如果是真的性病怎麼辦?

  • Then not only will I be dying but

    這樣的話, 我不僅會死掉,

  • my parents will be so disappointed in me.

    我爸媽會對我無敵的失望.

  • Why would your parents have to know?

    你爸媽幹麻要知道?

  • I mail my dad my insurance forms.

    我保險單都寄給我爸.

  • How do you even know something's there?

    妳怎知道有東西在那邊?

  • I felt it.

    我感覺得到.

  • Uh-huh.

    嗯哼.

  • While I was wiping.

    擦屁股時.

  • Gaby it's big.

    Gaby, 這真的很大,

  • Like AIDS big.

    就像愛滋病的'大'.

  • Not a unit of measurement.

    那並不是形容“大”的形容詞.

  • I don't wanna put you through this

    我不想讓妳經歷這些,

  • but I figure you've seen things

    但你見過許多世面,

  • you've probably had things.

    也大概曾經“有”過什麼的.

  • Only thing I've ever had is a good time, sweetheart.

    我只"有"過美好的時光而已, 親愛的.

  • Okay

    好,

  • I don't wanna go down that road right now.

    我現在...不想講到那邊去.

  • I just need you to tell me

    我只要你告訴我,

  • if this is urgent care bad

    這是 “需迫切照顧” 的慘,

  • or write my will right away

    還是 "寫好遺書、

  • emergency room bad.

    急診室救命" 的慘.

  • I can tell you right now, it's not bad.

    我可以現在跟你說, 這沒有很慘.

  • How?

    為什麼?

  • Because nothing on the vagina could be that bad, Allison.

    因為有關陰道的事 都不會很慘.

  • Okay? 1 in 4 people have herpes.

    好嗎, 每四人 就有一人有泡疹,

  • HPV is rampant.

    愛滋病病毒猖獗,

  • Sometimes the vagina just

    有時候 陰道只是破爛不堪,

  • gets rubbed weird from overuse.

    因為用太多.

  • Eww!

    噁噁噁!

  • I'm just saying, everybody's body is beautiful.

    我只是說, 每個人的身體都很美.

  • I knew it.

    我就知道.

  • I knew you were gonna take one look

    我就知道, 你若看到我肉疣滿滿的陰道,

  • at my warty vagina and get REAL excited.

    就變得超級性奮.

  • I can look at a naked body without getting excited.

    我可以看裸體而不性奮, 好嗎?

  • I'm not an animal.

    我又不是個野獸.

  • Really? Because I could think of multiple times

    真的嗎?因為我可以想起很多次

  • where you've explained your behavior by

    你大叫 "我們都是野獸!”

  • screaming "we're all animals!"

    來你合理化你的行言舉止.

  • Take off the towel,

    把你的浴巾拿開,

  • show me your vagina,

    給我看你的陰道,

  • so we can all go back to living

    所以我們能回去從前

  • our gender oppressed lives.

    性壓抑的人生.

  • This was a mistake okay?

    這是個錯誤, 好嗎?

  • I'm just gonna have an anxiety attack

    我還是 讓自己焦慮失控一下,

  • 'til I can see a professional.

    然後晚一點再去看專科.

  • You can't die of anxiety.

    焦慮殺不死人吧,

  • At least not right away.

    至少沒那麼快...

  • Allison take off the towel--

    Allison, 拿開你的浴巾--

  • No!

    不!

  • Take off the towel!

    拿開你的浴巾!

  • No!

    不!

  • TAKE OFF THE TOWEL

    拿開你的浴巾!!!

  • (whines)

    (哀嚎)

  • Hmm.

    哼...

  • Ingrown hair.

    內向生毛.

  • Really!?

    真的嗎!?

  • Yeah, positive.

    嗯, 保證.

  • You can see the lil hair poking out.

    你可以看到小毛毛鑽出來一點.

  • You just gotta

    你可以就

  • heat up a pair of tweezers, take a shot of whiskey,

    燒一雙鑷子, 乾一杯威士忌,

  • and pluck that sucker out.

    把那肉腳抽出來.

  • Prairie medicine.

    大草原療法.

  • Okay.

    很好.

  • What?

    幹嘛?

  • Just think it's a little rude

    只是覺得你剛一點都不性奮,

  • that you're not at all turned on.

    實在很沒有禮貌.

  • (whispering) Oh my gosh.

    (默)我的天啊.

  • ♪ (music) ♪

    (音樂)

  • What do I need to do to make you like it?

    我該怎辦 才能讓你喜歡上它?

  • (whispering) Kill me now. Just fucking take me.

    (默)殺了我吧. 就他媽的殺了我吧.

  • Should I shave it?

    我該剃它嗎?

  • Should I wax it?

    我該蜜蠟除毛嗎?

  • Should I be conditioning it?

    我該護髮它嗎?

  • Is that a thing? Is there a vagina conditioner?

    有這種東西嗎?有給陰道的護髮乳嗎?

  • Y'know I've been told not to douche

    別人叫我不要當個機車的人,

  • but maybe that's what I gotta do.

    但也許我就是該機車.

  • (muffled screams)

    (滅音尖叫)

  • Subtitles by the Amara.org community

    由 Amara.org 社群提供的字幕

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B2 中高級 中文 陰道 浴巾 友情 機車 野獸 愛滋病

不要被激怒 (Don't Get Turned On)

  • 1623 58
    Pedroli Li 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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