this video is gonna be about how to know if you have ADHD or not.

這則短片是關於你是否知道自己有過動症

And for those of you that don't already know,

對於那些還不知道的

ADHD is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

過動症是注意力缺乏多動障礙症

But the reason I'm making this video is because I feel

但是我製作這則影片的原因是我覺得

like a lot of people these days say or they think they have ADHD,

現如今有許多人會說或者認為自己有過動症

but that's only because they don't know what it's really like to have it.

但這只是因為他們都還不了解過動症是什麼

As a little kid I was diagnosed with it, but I never took any medicine

我從小就被診斷出了過動症，我從來沒吃過藥

for it, so I never knew what normal people thought like.

所以我不知道正常人覺得這是什麼病

I can't stand when people say that ADHD is not a real thing

我也不能接受那些說過動症不存在的人

and that it's just an excuse for lazy people to blame their laziness on.

這只是那些懶人懶得去了解的藉口

But what I can't stand even more is that when people

但讓我更加不能忍受的是當人們

actually do use it as an excuse, even when they don't have it,

把過動症作為一個藉口，即使他們根本沒這個病

just because they didn't do well in school

只是因為他們在學校表現不好

or they're bad at studying or something.

或者他們學習或其他方面不怎麼樣

But, really, there's no excuse because I grew up with it

但，事實是，因為我從小就有這個病

and I didn't take any medication for it and I still got all A's and B's.

我也沒吃藥，但我還是得了許多A和B

Then again, I also cheated a lot.

但，我也作弊了很多次

So after watching this video, if you can honestly say

所以在看完這則影片后，如果你可以坦誠地說出

that you relate to more of these things than not, then chances are--

你完全符合這些事或者你有更多的情況，很有機會

I mean, I'm no doctor, but your brain is probably

我是說，雖然我不是醫生，但是你的腦子可能

just as messed up as mine.

和我的一樣亂七八糟

I'm gonna be giving you guys actual examples,

我會給你們舉一些實例

not those typical ADHD jokes.

而不是那些典型的過動症笑話

You know which jokes I'm talking about.

你知道我說的是什麼

They'll be talking and then, all of a sudden, pretend

他們會說著說著，突然，假裝

to be distracted by something--

被什麼事打斷了

kind of like what I'm about to do right...

就像我即將要……

Oh, look! A butterfly!

哦，看吶，蝴蝶！

I mean, even I made that joke, but only as a joke

我是說，即使是我編的，但也僅僅是個笑話

because that is such a huge exaggeration.

因為實在太誇張

It's really nothing like that. Most of the time.

其實真的不是那樣的，很多時候

And if these sound unrealistic to you,

如果你覺得這些聽起來不著邊際

it's probably just because you don't have it.

這可能只因為你沒有這個病

But, trust me, they're all real. They actually do happen.

但，相信我，是真的，真的會發生

I would know because, sadly, they're all my personal experiences.

我知道是因為，很不幸，這都是我的個人經歷

So without further ado, and no more hesitation,

所以話不多說，

here are some real examples to help you guys know

這裡有幾個真實的例子讓你們了解

if you actually do or do not--

你到底有沒有發生過這些事

I'm not even kidding. There's an actual butterfly right there.

我沒在開玩笑，確實有隻蝴蝶在這兒

I gotta--

我會……

See how many of these you can relate to. Go!

看你們符合其中的幾條，開始吧！

You meet someone new and then five seconds after

你遇到一個人，可5秒之後

they've introduced themselves, you already forgot their name.

他們已經做過自我介紹了，可你已經忘了他們的名字

No matter how hard you try to focus,

無論你多努力的想記住

whenever you're reading something, like a book or a textbook,

無論什麼時候你在讀什麼，一本書或者課本

you'll read every single word on the page,

你會讀頁面上的每一個字

you hear every single word in your head,

你腦海里都聽到了每一個字

yet five pages down the road you have no idea

可是過了五頁你就忘了

what's going on or how you got there.

發生了什麼事，你怎麼讀到那兒了

You look at someone straight in the eyes

你盯著某個人看

and rather than paying attention to what they're saying,

而不是注意他說的話

you trying to decide which eye you normally look at.

你在想通常會看哪隻眼睛

Is is the left eye or the right eye?

是左眼還是右眼？

Or maybe it's the nose! Or the mouth!

或者是鼻子，或者嘴！

Or maybe you're supposed to look at the face as a whole,

或者你可以看整張臉

but you already forgot how to do that

但你已經忘記該怎麼做

because now all you see is a bunch of face parts.

因為你現在看到的是一堆面部器官

To you, there's no such thing as sitting still.

對於你來說，沒有什麼是靜止的

You don't realize it until someone tells you to stop,

你並沒有意識到直到有人制止你

but you either have been rapidly shaking your leg,

但你不是快速抖動腿，

tapping your hands or nodding your head to music that isn't there,

敲手指，就是對某段從腦子裡蹦出來的音樂點頭打節拍

or playing with whatever is currently in your hands, like a cellphone.

或者就是玩弄任何握在手裡的東西，例如手機

You're a time traveler.

你是個時空旅者

You go and take a five minute Facebook break from work,

你會在工作間隙花五分鐘瀏覽臉書

but when you come back it's an hour later!

但當你繼續回到工作時已經是一個小時後了！

Sometimes you have to remind yourself to smile

有時你提醒自己要微笑

when you're with people, and not because you don't like them

可當你和其他人在一起時，也並不是你不喜歡他們

or because you're upset-- it's because you have a bunch

或者你不高興，而是因為你有許多

of other thoughts going through your head that aren't smile-worthy.

其他的事情，那些你覺得不值得微笑的事情

No matter how hard you try or how important the call is,

無論你多麼努力，無論電話多麼重要

when you're on the phone with someone

當你和某人通電話時

you have to be doing something else at the same time.

你也必須同時做點其他的事

You don't intentionally procrastinate, you're just most productive

你不是故意拖延，你只是在遇到

when you have to get something done.

當你必須完成的事時才最有成效的

You work best when you're under pressure!

你在有壓力的情況下表現最好！

Again, you don't intentionally procrastinate,

再次說明，你並不是故意拖延

but you can never decide what you want from a menu

但你永遠也無法決定要點什麼菜

until you're under pressure because the waiter just got to you.

直到服務生找到你，你有壓力了

You have a bunch of incomplete things

你有許多未完成的事

'cause you're always jumping from one thing to the next!

因為你總是從一件事跳到另外一件

You leave your room to go get your phone that you forgot

你出去找你落在

in the kitchen, but when you come back, all you have

廚房的手機，可當你回來時，你拿的

is a cup of water, snacks and pretty much everything that's not your phone.

是一杯水、零食，基本上就是除了手機以外的其他東西

A lot of the times that you're on the phone with people,

有許多次當你和別人通電話時，

you freak out because you can't find your phone.

你會因為找不到電話而發瘋

You're not sure if you just came downstairs or if you're about to go up.

你不確定你是剛下樓來還是要上樓

You force yourself to burp to remember what you had for lunch.

你強迫自己打嗝，這樣你才記得午餐吃了什麼

When somebody tells you to think about one specific thing,

當別人告訴你去想一件具體的事時

you can't because now you're thinking about thinking about things,

你做不到，因為你在想別的事情

causing you to not think about what you're supposed to be thinking about.

因為你不會去想你應該想的事情

You text something that makes absolutely no sense

你發的短信毫無意義

because someone was talking to you and you write out

只是因為有人在跟你說話，你想寫下

what they were saying instead.

他們所說的內容

You can remember a full phone number by repeating the numbers

你想透過重複背誦數字來記住電話號碼

in your head, but the moment you start putting it into the keypad,

但當你剛在鍵盤上把數字打下來時

all the different sounds from the keytones throw you off and you forget.

鍵盤上的發出各種不同按鍵聲就會轉移你的注意力，你就忘記了

You have to buy a lot of shampoo because when you're in the shower

你要買許多洗髮水，因為當你在洗澡時

you have the most thoughts, and you don't even realize

你會想很多事，你根本沒意識到

that you just washed your hair three times.

你剛洗完三次頭髮

You hate working in groups, not because other people have bad ideas--

你討厭小組工作，不是因為其他人的想法糟糕

it's just that their ideas distract yours.

只是因為他們的想法會讓你分心

You overly set reminders for yourself when important things

你對即將到來重要的事情會多次設置提醒，

are coming up because you know you're gonna forget!

因為你知道自己會忘記

You always have these silent, awkward moments with people

和一些人在一起，你總會有沉默、尷尬的時候

because when you're talking to them, you'll always forget

因為當你和他們說話時，你總會忘記

what you're about to say mid-sentence and when you do it, it's like...

你要說什麼，當你想說是，就會像……

Like...

像……

You have these, um...

你有這些，嗯……

You're very indecisive.

你十分猶豫不決

I mean, I guess this one kinda applies to everyone.

我的意思是，我想這個好像適用於所有人

Or not. Or maybe...

或者不是，又或者……

And last but not least...

最後……

when you have ADHD, every single thought leads to another thought.

如果你有過動症，每一個想法都會引起另一個想法

And I actually kinda learned how to use that

但事實上我學會利用這一點

to my advantage when I'm coming up with videos.

當我要做影片的時候

For example, I'm just gonna freestyle something right now,

例如，我現在要即興做點什麼

just to show you how my brain works.

只是想給你展示一下我大腦運作的方式

See, you could be thinking about this video and your mind

瞧，你可以在思考這段影片的同時，你也

could still go off in an infinite amount of directions,

可以思考其他各種事情

which is the opposite of One Direction.

和One Direction（英國男子團體）無關的任何一件事

Maybe that's how they got their name, because they all have ADHD!

或許這就是他們取這個名字的原因，因為他們都有過動症

ADHD, like Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder--

過動症，就是注意缺陷多動障礙

Disorder? I mean, who says it's a disorder, anyways?

障礙？我是說，誰說這是一種障礙？算了

Speaking of disorder, who came up with the word disorder?

語言障礙，誰發明的障礙這個詞？

It kind of sounds like a rapper trying to order at a bakery.

聽起來就像一個說唱歌手在麵包店里選麵包

Hey, lemme get dis order, dough!

嘿，讓我來點，麵包！

A deer, a female deer! Like Bambi!

一只鹿，母的！就像Bambi！

Bambi? Whatever happened to Bam-A and Bam-C?

Bambi（Bam B）？Bam A 和Bam C怎麼了？

What is a Bam-C? Maybe they meant C-Bam,

什麼是Bam C？或者他們是說C Bam

'cause when the sea goes bam, that's like the waves crashing.

因為當大海碰撞時，就像海浪拍打的聲音

And waves are created by wind, and wind can go in every single direction,

而海浪是風引起的，而風可以吹向四面八方

which is the opposite of One Direction and that's how they got their name!

這就恰恰和One Direction（一個方向，英國的一個男子組合）相反，這就是他們名字的由來

That's how they got their name, from the multi-directional wind,

這就是他們名字的由來，來自四面八方的風

causing the waves to crashing a sea. Bam, Bam-C, Bambi...deer!

引起了海浪撞擊大海，碰，碰C，碰bi……鹿

Like a rapper trying to get "dis order dough",

就像一個說唱歌手要「點、點個麵包」

creating the word disorder, and ADHD, which is what all the guys

想出障礙這個詞，過動症，One Direction裡面所有的成員

in One Direction have, which is the complete opposite

所有的成員都有過動症，而他們和

of all the different directions this video could go in!

這部影片里所有相反的方向都可以算進去

I honestly don't know how I remembered all that.

說真的，我不知道我怎麼記得這些

I mean, it was a freestyle, so I didn't have to memorize anything,

我是說，這完全即興，我都不用刻意去背

but at the same time, I had to remember how to say it backwards,

但同時，我要記得如何倒述回去

so I had to pay attention to what I was saying.

所以我必須很留心自己說了什麼

I mean, I guess to a certain degree I don't have ADH--

我的意思是，其實我可能沒有過動……

Oh, look, a butterfly!

哦，看吶，一只蝴蝶！

What the hell are all these things?

這都是些什麼東西？

TEEHEE

TEEHEE

So, once again, thank you guys so much for watching.

再次，感謝大家觀看

If you want to see the previous video, click the one on the right.

如果你想看上一部影片，點擊右邊的視頻

If you want to see the blue version behind-the-scenes,

如果你想看幕後的藍色版本

click the one on the left!

點擊左邊的視頻！

And if you want to see the coolest thing in the world, click the little red bu--

如果你想看到世界上最酷的東西，點擊紅色的小按……

Oh! Look, a butterfly. Ohh, look at it--ooh!

哦，看，蝴蝶，哦，看看，哦！

There's so many! Awww! Yeah.

有好多！哦，耶！