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  • - Welcome to your new job, Scooter.

    -史庫特,歡迎來到你的新工作

  • - Wow.

    -哇~

  • I've dreamed of working at Pork E. Pine's

    我從小就一直夢想能

  • ever since I was a kid.

    在「神埼寶杯」工作

  • - Really?

    -真的假的?

  • Astronaut? Firefighter?

    太空人呢?消防員呢?

  • All those dreams taken?

    都沒得選了嗎?

  • - Excuse me? - Nothing.

    -妳剛剛說什麼? -當我沒說

  • I'll show you around.

    我會帶你到處逛逛

  • That's Dinger.

    那是丁格

  • He's been here longer than Pork E. Pine's itself.

    他在神埼寶杯開業前,就在這裡工作了

  • It was a Hometime Buffet before.

    這裡之前是「家鄉滋味自助餐」

  • He just never left.

    他都沒有離開過呢

  • That's Ella.

    那位是艾拉

  • We found her sleeping in the alley and took her in.

    我們當時發現她睡在路邊,就把她帶進來了

  • She's new to the idea of personal boundaries.

    她有點不懂人際關係之間的界線

  • She'll get it. Or get sued.

    她要嘛就是遲早領悟,要嘛就是會被告到死

  • Moving on.

    我們繼續

  • That's Anton, the owner.

    那位是安東尼,我們的店長

  • His dad gave him this place

    他爸在他不小心燒掉

  • after he accidentally burned down the last one.

    上一間店之後,再給他這一間店

  • And Ian there, he's our mascot.

    然後那位是伊恩,算是我們的吉祥物

  • - Wait, that's Pork E. Pine? For real?

    -等等,他就是「神埼寶杯」嗎? 我有沒有看錯?

  • - Mm-hmm.

    -嗯嗯,對啦

  • But the novelty will wear off soon enough.

    但你放心好了,一切新鮮感很快就會消失

  • - Oh, it won't for me.

    -噢,我可不會

  • You know, Lori, back when I was a kid

    妳知道嗎?羅莉,我小的時候

  • growing outside of Vulture's Pont,

    我家是外食族

  • my family ate practically every meal at Pork E. Pine's.

    我們家幾乎每一餐都會來吃「神埼寶杯」

  • We weren't fancy enough for the Spaghetti Factory crowd.

    我們不夠潮,所以在「義大利麵工廠」吃飯就會感覺怪怪的

  • But at Pork E.'s we felt welcome,

    但在這裡,卻總讓我覺得舒服又自在

  • not just on birthdays, but every day.

    不論是不是在過生日,都一樣

  • This was a place we could always call home.

    我覺得這個地方就像是我第二個家

  • - Sorry, new guy.

    -抱歉,新來的

  • - Is he okay?

    -他沒事吧?

  • - No, he's dead.

    -當然有事,他已經死了

  • We're gonna have to find a new one.

    現在我們得再找另一個新人了

  • - Oops.

    -糟糕

  • [playful music]

    (俏皮音樂)

  • - [man singing] This is America

    - (男聲) 這裡是美國

  • Land of dreams

    夢想的發源之地

  • Everyone can climb higher

    每個人都能高高在上

  • - [women singing] No you know you're stuck here

    - (女聲) 你錯了,你明知道自己被困在這裡

  • 'Cause you're a part-timer yeah

    因為你只是個實習工讀生,耶~

  • - [man singing] You can do anything

    - (男聲) 想做什麼都隨心所欲

  • - [woman singing] As long as it's not hard

    - (女聲) 前提是不要太難

  • - [man singing] And you can go anywhere

    - (男聲) 想去哪玩也隨心所欲

  • - [woman singing] As soon as you get a car

    - (女聲) 前提是你得有車

  • - [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success

    - (男聲) 你就能坐擁天下

  • - [woman singing] Come on that's not who you are

    - (女聲) 拜託,你以為你是誰?

  • - [man singing] You're a part-timer cursed

    - (男聲) 實習工讀生是一種詛咒

  • With full-time dreams

    雖然充滿夢想

  • And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems

    但薪水就跟表面看起來一樣的糟

  • Bad as it seems

    一樣糟糕

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

    你到底是吃錯什麼藥?

  • Whoa

    哇喔

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

    幹嘛要來這裡啊?

  • Oh

    喔~

  • Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]?

    兄弟,認真的嗎? -什麼啊,搞什麼鬼?

  • - Welcome to your new job...

    -歡迎來到你的新工作...

  • Pete.

    皮特?

  • - Wow, this place is so amazing.

    -哇,這個地方真的是太讚了

  • You know, I used to come here when I was a kid.

    妳知道嗎,我以前小的時候常常來這個地方

  • - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    -好好好

  • This is your dream, blah, blah, blah.

    這是你的夢想,blah,blah,blah

  • Tell you what, why don't you show yourself around.

    我看不如這樣,你自己四處去逛逛走一遭怎麼樣?

  • - Oh, this place hasn't changed a bit.

    -喔,這個地方還是都沒變

  • [soft piano music]

    (鋼琴輕音樂)

  • [rock music]

    (搖滾音樂)

  • Wish that I were but a drop of barf on her cheek

    我好希望自己是她臉上的嘔吐物 一小滴也好

  • so that she might touch me.

    這樣她才願意摸我

  • - Hey, new guy.

    -嘿,新來的

  • Back off. - Huh?

    退後 -蛤?

  • - You're standing too close to the prize booth.

    -你離獎品區太近了

  • - But that's over there.

    -但獎品區是在那裡耶

  • - Think of the prize booth as my castle.

    -你就把獎品區當作是我的城堡

  • That makes this the moat.

    這裡呢,就是我的護城河

  • - Oh, well, permission to cross the drawbridge, sir.

    -喔,那好吧,請允許讓我通過吊橋,先生?

  • - Denied. - Oh.

    -不要 -喔...

  • - But as a gesture of goodwill,

    -不過,為表善意

  • I'll let you pick a prize.

    我讓你選一樣獎品吧

  • - Oh, no, thanks.

    -喔,不用了,謝謝

  • - What, my crappy little prizes aren't good enough for ya?

    -怎樣,不屑我的小禮物嗎?

  • - Oh, uh...

    -喔,呃...

  • Ah, you know what,

    啊,你知道嗎

  • I'll take this badge.

    我要選這個徽章

  • - You know what,

    -你知道嗎

  • ever since you took over,

    自從你接手這間店之後

  • this place has really improved.

    這個地方真的變得越來越好了

  • - I know, right?

    -我知道,這還用說

  • I don't see any other kid's restaurants

    你有看過哪間兒童餐廳

  • installing tanning lights.

    裝日曬燈的?

  • Genius. - Yeah, I know.

    真是天才 -我知道

  • Hey, is it just me or is something a little off

    嘿,是只有我覺得那個新來的

  • about the new guy?

    臉臭臭的嗎?

  • - Like what? - I don't know.

    -怎麼說? -我不知道

  • I need a closer look.

    我需要看個仔細

  • Pass me the hello-scope.

    給我「招呼望遠鏡」

  • Well, hello.

    妳好嗎?

  • - Dude, he's over there. - Sorry.

    -老兄,他在那裡啦 -喔抱歉

  • Ah, looks like he's looking for something.

    嗯,他看起來像在找某樣東西

  • Huh.

    哈哈

  • He's got a badge.

    他身上有個徽章

  • Oh, my God. The new guy's a narc.

    喔,我的老天,那個新來的是一個警探

  • - No way, man. He's, like, what, 12 years old?

    -不會吧,拜託,你看他才幾歲,12歲的小屁孩?

  • - Two words: 21 Jump Street.

    -你有看過龍虎少年隊嗎?

  • - Why would they send an undercover cop here?

    -那為什麼他們要派臥底來嘛?

  • - Maybe because of Scooter.

    -應該是因為史庫特的關係

  • - Who? - You know.

    -好比說誰? -你知道嘛

  • The guy whose face got in the way of our skee ball.

    被我們用球砸死的那個人啊

  • Yesterday, dude.

    昨天才發生的耶,老兄

  • - Wait, so you're saying we're prime suspects for a murder?

    -等一下,所以你的意思是我們兩個是這起謀殺案的主嫌囉?

  • But the coroner said it was an accident.

    可是驗屍官說這是一場意外

  • - The coroner is probably in on it.

    -驗屍官也可能牽涉在其中

  • Who knows how high up this thing goes.

    天曉得這件事情會鬧得多大?

  • - Wow, this thing must be serious.

    -天啊,這件事好像真的很嚴重

  • They sent their number one sheriff after us.

    -他們派他們的頭號警長來對付我們

  • - It was such a good crime.

    -這樁犯罪事件是如此地毫無紕漏

  • We didn't even know we did it.

    連我們自己都不知道人是我們殺的

  • - Wait, did we do it? - I don't know.

    -等等,人是我們殺的嗎? -我不知道

  • But we should probably figure it out before he does.

    但我們應該要在被發現之前想出對策

  • - Um...

    -嗯...

  • Hello?

    妳還好嗎?

  • - You ever think grease spots

    -你可曾否想過油斑

  • are really just birthmarks for buildings?

    其實只是房子的胎記?

  • - No. - Hmm.

    -沒有 -嗯...

  • - Um, I'm just here just to rinse off a retainer.

    -呃,我來這裡只是要來洗牙套

  • I think it belongs to the one girl with the long braid.

    我想它的主人是一位長髮女孩

  • - Ah, that would be Mads.

    -啊,那應該是麥姿的

  • - Mads. - Uh-huh.

    -麥姿? -沒錯

  • - Oh. That's a cool name.

    -喔,挺酷的名字 (譯註:女生名字Mads音似英文的mad,原意有生氣發怒的意思,故皮特才會說這樣的名字很酷)

  • Um, can you tell me what she's like?

    嗯...妳能告訴我她是什麼樣的人嗎?

  • - Well, I know she loves guys who--

    -這個嘛,我知道她喜歡的男人應該...

  • [bell dings] Pizza's done.

    (烤箱鈴響) 披薩好了

  • Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.

    喔喔喔,燙燙燙

  • Do you want some?

    你要不要來一塊?

  • - Oh, no, thanks.

    -沒關係,不用,謝謝

  • - I made it. It's mushroom.

    -我做的耶,蘑菇口味喔

  • - Okay. Okay.

    -好吧,我吃我吃

  • Oh. Hmm.

    喔,嗯...

  • But we were talking about what's-her-name.

    我們剛剛談到她叫什麼名字

  • Mads. [bell dings]

    麥姿? (烤箱鈴又響)

  • - Ooh, that'll be the garlic bread.

    -喔,這一次是大蒜麵包呢

  • - [sighs]

    - (嘆氣)

  • - Okay, top ten reasons we are guilty of murdering Scooter.

    -好,來想想我們殺死史庫特,會被定罪的10大理由

  • - Dude, if someone comes into this room

    -老兄,萬一有人走進來看到

  • and they see Scoter's name written on here,

    上面寫著史庫特的名字

  • we're busted.

    我們就死定了耶

  • - You're right.

    -你說的對耶

  • Top ten reasons we are guilty

    我們殺死「屎哭咖特」

  • of murdering "Scu-ga-ter."

    的10大理由

  • - Dude, that's brilliant.

    -這招太神了

  • - I know, right?

    -我知道,是不是很厲害啊?

  • - Okay, one, we totally killed "Scu-ga-ter."

    -好了,第1,我們真的殺死了「屎哭咖特」

  • - True.

    -這個算

  • We did it.

    我們幹的

  • - Two.

    -第2

  • Your fingerprints are on the murder weapon.

    你的指紋留在凶器上面

  • - Ah! You're right.

    -啊,沒錯

  • Fingerprints.

    ㄓˇ指 ㄨㄣˊ紋

  • - Three, I may have spit on the ball.

    -第3,我好像吐東西在球上面

  • - Why would you ever do that?

    -你為什麼要那樣做?

  • - Well, you know, I thought it would be funny

    -喔,因為我覺得這樣滿搞笑的啊

  • if you were, like, "Eww, there's spit on my hand,"

    如果你說,「好噁,我的手上有口水」

  • and then I would laugh at you.

    那這樣我就能嘲笑你

  • - God, you are so stupid.

    -老天,你這白痴

  • Now the cop has our D 'n A.

    現在警方可是有我們的DNA了

  • D and A.

    D跟A

  • - Oh, my God, dude.

    -喔,我的天啊,老兄

  • We are so guilty.

    -這下子我們絕對會被判有罪