the way we lost that balance. So, I'd like to spend the next 10 minutes or so teaching

不過，有時候難免會失衡。所以接下來的十分鐘我要教你

you how to talk and how to listen. I'm gonna teach you how to interview people

怎麼談話和怎麼聆聽，我還要教你如何面談

and that's actually gonna help you learn how to be better conversationalists. Number 1: Don't multitask.

這可以幫助你成為一個更好的溝通者。第一，別一心多用

I mean be present, don't be thinking about your argument you had with your boss,

處在當下，別想著剛和上司的爭論

don't be thinking about what you're gonna have for dinner, if you wanna get out of the conversation,

不要想著等等晚餐要吃甚麼。若真的不想聊天

get out of the conversation. Number 2: Don't pontificate. If you wanted to state your opinion

那就別聊。第二，別用武斷的態度。若你想發表意見

without any opportunity for response, write a blog. You need to enter every conversation

又不想要別人持有反對立場，妳大可去寫部落格就好。妳會從每一次的對談中

assuming that you have something to learn. Bill Nye: "Everyone you will ever meet knows

都學到一點東西。治療師Bill Nye曾說：「每一個你所遇到的人

something that you don't." Number 3: Use open ended questions. In this case, take a cue from Journalists,

會知道你所不知道的事情。」第三，使用開放式問題。這麼說來，以記者採訪的方式

start your questions with: Who, What, When, Where, Why, or How. If you put in a complicated question,

用誰、什麼、何時、何處、為何及如何來發問。若你用複雜的問法切入

you're gonna get a simple answer out. If I ask you "Were you terrified?"

你將得到一個簡單的回答。若我問你：「你當下害怕嗎？」

You're going to respond to the most powerful word in that sentence which is terrified

你會得到簡潔有力的回答，句子裡當然會出現害怕的字眼

and the answer is "Yes I was" or "No I wasn't". Try asking them things like "What was that like?"

要嘛「害怕」或「不害怕」。試著問問他們「感覺像什麼？」

"How did that feel?" Number 4: Go with the flow. Thoughts will come into your mind and

「感覺怎麼樣？」第四，跟著感覺走。想法會進入你的腦袋

you need to let them go out of your mind. We're sitting there having a conversation with someone

你需要把它表達出來。有次我們坐著和某人聊天

and then we remember that time that we met Hugh Jackman in a coffee shop

我們突然想到曾在一家咖啡店和 Hugh Jackmann 偶遇

and we stop listening! Stories and Ideas are gonna come to you, you need to let them come and let them go.

然後就忘記聽彼此說話了。故事和想法會湧入你的大腦，有進有出

Number 5: If you don't know, say that you don't know. Now people on the radio,

第五，不知道就說不知道。在廣播電台的主播和來賓

especially on NPR are much more aware that they're going on the record, and so

尤其是國家公共廣播公司，他們知道一言一行都會被記錄下來

they're more careful about what they claim to be an expert in and what they claim to know for sure.

因此，他們在自己的專業與所知上，會更加謹慎

Do that. Err on the side of caution. Number 6: Don't equate your experience with theirs.

這麼做是對的，你在說，大家在聽。第六，不要把自己的經歷套在別人身上

If they're talking about having lost a family member, don't start talking about the time

如果有人失去家庭成員，也不要談到你的傷心事

that you lost a family member. It's not the same, it is never the same.

這是不一樣的，絕對不會一樣。

All experiences are individual. Number 7: Try not to repeat yourself, it's condescending and

每個經驗都是獨一無二的。第七，別重述自己的一切。這只是叫人領情而已

it's really boring. And we tend to do it a lot- We have a point to make so we just keep rephrasing

而且真的很無聊，不過我們卻常犯這個錯誤，一直重述

it over and over... Don't do that. Number 8: Stay out of the weeds.

一再地重述。千萬別這樣做。第八，言簡意賅。

Frankly, people don't care about the years, the names, the dates, they don't care. Number 9: Listen.

說真的，大家不太會去在意幾年、名字、日期，根本不會。第九，聆聽

And look, I know, it takes effort and energy to actually pay attention to someone.

看著對方，我知道這需要心力

But,if you can't do that, you're not in a conversation. Stephen Covey said it very beautifully,

不過，如果你不這樣做的話，你就不是在溝通。Stephen Covey 說得很好

he said: "Most of us don't listen with the intent to understand, we listen with the intent to reply."

他說：「大多數的人聽不是為了理解，而是為了回答。」

One more rule and, Number 10, and it's this one: Be Brief.

最後一個：第十，簡潔有力

All of this boils down to the same basic concept and it is this one: be interested in other people.

總歸到相同的基本概念，也就是：對人保持興趣

Go out, talk to people, listen to people and most importantly be prepared to be amazed. Thanks.

踏出門、講講話、聽聽人家說甚麼，最重要的是準備好面對各種驚奇的事物。謝謝！