What better time to make a video?

這時不拍影片更待何時？

So, I'm sick this week. I don't feel very good. I'm all stuffed up, my throat hurts, and on top of that, I'm pooping purple.

我本週生病了，感覺特別不好，我鼻子堵塞、嗓子疼痛，最慘的是，我的大便是紫色的。

Which has nothing to do with being sick, I just drank a lot of Kool-Aid earlier.

這跟生病沒什麼關係，我只是喝了不少酷愛牌飲料。

It's freaking delicious.

味道真是太好啦！

Anyways, this happens to me every year when the seasons change.

無論如何，我每年季節轉換的時候都會感冒。

My body just can't handle the switch from hot to cold.

我的身體無法適應冷熱的轉變。

So, I went on Wikihow to see how to get better, and they list seven steps of how to get better except they use a lot of words and ain't nobody got time for reading.

於是我上 Wikihow 搜索如何能治療的方法，他們列出7步如何能感覺好受點的方法，但他們寫的實在是太冗長，根本沒人有時間讀。

Especially when you look and feel like a bag of smashed (bleep)holes.

特別是當你看起來提不起勁，感覺糟糕透頂的時候。

So I thought I'd save you guys a lot of time of having to read by just showing you how to get better.

所以為了節省你們點時間去閱讀，不如我直接告訴你們感覺會好受點。

So, here are seven steps to feeling better when you're sick. Enjoy.

以下是7步能讓你感冒時感覺好點的方法，請仔細觀賞！

Step one: Keep yourself warm.

第一步：保暖。

When you're sick, you get colder than normal, so wear a sweatshirt or comfy pajamas.

當你感冒的時候，你會比平時更怕冷，所以要穿上毛衣或者舒服的睡衣。

If you're really cold, throw a blanket on, too.

如果你真的很冷，披上毛毯。

And if you're really, really cold, just throw everything on.

如果你真的很冷很冷，把所有能穿的都穿上。

Nobody's gonna judge you. You're sick.

沒人會評判你的，你感冒了。

Step two: Eat and drink hot foods.

第二步：吃點喝點熱的食物。

It's really important to consume hot food and drinks when you're sick.

在感冒的時候吃喝點熱的食物和飲料非常重要。

Keeping your energy up is important and staying hydrated will flush out your system and make you feel better.

保持體力充足很重要，且保持水分充足能代謝身體系統內的垃圾並使你感覺好受些。

If you can't do hot drinks, just take a lot of Vitamin C and stick with cold water.

如果你無法喝到熱飲，那就吃很多維他命 C 配冰水吧。

All that should work.

以上都很有效的。

Step three: Be lazy.

第三步：發懶。

Avoiding doing anything that requires a lot of energy.

避免任何需要花費體能的事情。

Stay at home and don't even bother trying to go outside.

待在家裡，別想著往外跑。

Watch some movies or TV shows, spend some time on YouTube, Twitter, or Facebook.

看看電影和連續劇花點時間上 Youtube、推特或者臉書。

Just stay in bed or on the couch while doing this.

待在床上或沙發上做這些事情。

Just make sure whatever you're doing isn't stressful, 'cause that could just make you sicker.

確保你做的事情不會讓你有壓力，因為壓力會讓你病得更厲害。

What?! How is that only two stars?!

什麼？怎麼只有兩顆星？

God -- Oh, I don't feel so good.

天哪，我覺得不舒服。

(retching)

（乾嘔）

Step number four: Take naps.

第四步，多睡覺。

Although you make be having trouble sleeping, being sick uses up a lot of your body's energy, so you're gonna want to at least try to get as much sleep as possible.

儘管入睡可能會比較困難，但生病耗費很大體能，所以你至少要試著儘量多休息。

Extended naps are a good idea, as is going to bed early.

延長睡眠時間是個不錯的主意，或是早點上床也行。

If you can't sleep, just drink some warm milk.

如果睡不著，喝點熱牛奶。

That always works.

一直都有效的。

I forgot I'm lactose intolerant!

我忘記有乳糖不耐症了！

Step five: Use a heating pad.

第五步：使用暖墊。

Are you suffering from any stomach pains or feeling nauseous?

你還在忍受胃痛或者感覺嘔吐的困難嗎？

Putting a heating pad on your stomach while you rest helps to ease the pain and keeps you warm.

當你休息的時候把暖墊放在胃的位置能幫助你緩解疼痛和保暖。

Just don't use it if you already have a fever.

只是別在發燒的時候使用。

It could push your temperature so high, you could get delirious.

這會使你的體溫更高，嚴重會神智不清。

Oh, Angelina, you've come to make me feel better!

哦， Angelina 你來啦！我感覺好多啦！

Well, I'm not one to keep a lady waiting. Let's do this!

我可不喜歡讓女士等待。讓我們開始吧！

Step number six: Cuddle with your pet.

第六步：和你的寵物抱在一起。

It can help with the recovery process and it gives you some company as well as helps to keep you warm.

這能促進你恢復的進程，也能給你陪伴，幫你保持溫暖。

Or if you're like me and you don't have a pet, just grab the next-closest thing.

如果你像我一樣沒有寵物，就隨便抓個最靠近你的東西。

You don't judge me!

不准評判我！

And finally, step seven: Take a shower.

最後一步：洗個澡。

It's refreshing, it helps to keep you warm, and it gets all the bacteria off of you.

這能恢復精神，保持溫暖並能帶走細菌。

In addition, if you're stuffed up, it can help clear out your nose.

另外，如果你鼻子堵住了，這也能幫你暢通鼻腔。

And if you have the energy, you might wanna take your clothes off first, because that's usually a good idea.

如果你有足夠的體能，你可以脫了衣服再洗，因為這是個不錯的方法。

Anyways, I'm gonna go try to work off this cold, guys. I'm really not feeling so well.

無論怎樣，我要去趕走這個感冒了，各位！我真的覺得很不舒服。

But if you want to add me to Facebook and Twitter, the links will be in the description along with all my other social networking sites, and I will see you guys next Saturday with a brand new video.

不過如果你要加我的臉書和推特，連結在描述中，和我其他的社交平台在一起。下週六帶著我的新影片再見！

Peace!

再見！

I'm gonna die.

我快要死啦。

Hey guys, thanks for watching my new video.

朋友們，感謝收看我的新影片！

If you enjoyed it, please remember to click the Subscribe button to subscribe to my channel.

如果你們喜歡，請記得請點擊訂閱按鈕並訂閱我的頻道！

I release a new video every single Saturday.

我每週六播送一部新影片！

And while you're at it, click the Like button and share this on Facebook.

如果你們喜歡的話，請點擊喜歡的按鈕，並在臉書上分享！

And if you've already done those things, take some echinacea and some Vitamin C, 'cause getting sick sucks.

如果你已經做了這些事情，吃點海膽亞目或者維他命 C， 因為生病真的難受。

So I'm gonna go lay down now and I hope you're feeling good, 'cause I'm not.

我現在要去躺會了，希望各位今天都沒有不舒服，因為我感覺糟透了。

Bye!

再見！