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  • - Please put me in you and let me wiggle around

  • until I start spitting wildly!

  • (upbeat music)

  • Halloween is a time for ladies to dress sexy,

  • and dudes to dress stupid.

  • - Straight dudes are obsessed with dicks.

  • - They're just funny!

  • - Naturally, every Halloween, you see

  • a bunch of dudes wearing gross dick costumes.

  • (Keith makes a barfing noise)

  • - Why the fuck is everyone talking about penises so much?

  • - They're floppy, they get hard,

  • they have little funny hats.

  • - Guys should try to look sexy on Halloween too,

  • and the least sexy thing you can do

  • is to look like a pervert.

  • - We're gonna join in on the fun.

  • - I'm fully naked and ready

  • to try on some Halloween costumes!

  • - [Voiceover] Modern Halloween fashion

  • inspired by the Middle East.

  • - I'm like a droopy hot dog.

  • (Keith makes a flute noise)

  • - It's a snake charmer!

  • - I was promised penis.

  • (Eugene laughs)

  • - Oh, the inference is that my dick is gonna bite you.

  • - This is a little racist.

  • - Do I just put it between my butt cheeks? Oh!

  • - The snake's got no eyes, this is a shitty snake.

  • - If I'm gonna have a fake dick,

  • at least I want a cool fake dick.

  • - The best use of this is just to scare people.

  • (yells)

  • - Who would think this is a good idea?

  • - Ow! Ow! Something bit me, or something in the suit.

  • There'd better not be a spider in here.

  • - ♫ The hills are alive, with the sound of

  • culturally insensitive dick comedy.

  • - [Voiceover] Free breathalyzer tests.

  • - First of all the guy in the costume looks like Pewdie Pie.

  • - You're supposed to blow on the dick.

  • - Has this ever worked?

  • - People would have to be pretty wasted

  • to find you attractive in this.

  • Also, if you want someone to suck your dick

  • wear something cute.

  • (Keith laughs)

  • - Does it make my butt look good?

  • Worthless.

  • (Keith laughs)

  • - I'd rather go as a hot vacuum cleaner,

  • 'cause at least the function is cool.

  • - [Keith] Why is there a pie chart?

  • - Maths, graphs!

  • - It makes sense to me that the math

  • on here doesn't make sense,

  • because I assume anyone who wears this costume

  • did flunk out of school.

  • - But if I saw somebody wearing this,

  • I'd probably suck their dick.

  • (blowing noises)

  • - [Voiceover] There's nothing less sexy than a sex offender.

  • - This next one's special!

  • - This is the sexy Bernie Sanders costume.

  • - Ahh, there's a dick in my face!

  • - Weiner alert!

  • - Ohh, I just grabbed it by the dick.

  • - Now I'm horrifying.

  • - Hi!

  • - So this outfit is called the flasher.

  • I'll show you why.

  • - Honey, I'm home!

  • - They only come in white.

  • Oh I have a big problem with this costume.

  • - That's not how a nut sack works.

  • - They don't each get their own bag!

  • - My wife would divorce me if I wore this.

  • - It's awful.

  • However, I'm excited to see a montage

  • of everybody trying to helicopter with it.

  • - It's not the true weight of a penis.

  • - See you later boner body.

  • Oh hello, boner body.

  • (Eugene laughs)

  • - Do we just stick it in?

  • - It's got a long shaft.

  • - This is what a sperm must feel like.

  • - I've always wondered what it would be like

  • to be a huge embarrassment to my family.

  • - Wrong hole. I'm a penis!

  • - Eyes up here.

  • - Though it'd be funny if it had a hole

  • for your actual dick to stick out.

  • Dickception!

  • - Obviously the life of a party.

  • - Where do you put your wallet and keys?

  • - I have a history of not liking giant dicks.

  • - I feel like this is something some fashion designer

  • would send down the Paris runway.

  • Oh this does kind of look like the Yeezy line doesn't it?

  • - How does my head look?

  • - Do I look uncircumcised now?

  • - How cute would it be

  • if we just had a nice little shoulder shawl?

  • You put a little hood!

  • - They're really dicking me over with the padding.

  • - I think everybody in the world can agree

  • that this is too funny.

  • Now let me run around!

  • (Keith caws like a bird)

  • (Eugene laughs)

  • - Penis!

  • - Let me inside of you!

  • (Zach spits)

  • What, what else do you say when you're a big dick?

  • Look at me, I'm the cock of the walk!

  • - It's not that you're wearing a dick costume,

  • it's how you wear it.

  • - The only way that I would be cool with this

  • is if I saw a bunch of girls wearing this.

  • You go girl, you own that dick.

  • - [Voiceover] Oh god, what is that!

  • - Did you just throw a vagina at me?

  • - Well if you thought the penis was bad,

  • what about a vagina?

  • - Someone dropped it on the ground,

  • our vagina's dirty already.

  • Just gotta get a little spit in there.

  • - This actually is very similar

  • to costumes my mom would make for me when I was a kid.

  • In construction!

  • - This isn't a great vagina.

  • - Do I look cute?

  • - First off, you can't penetrate it.

  • - Hey!

  • Look who's ready to party!

  • - Where's the clitoris? Am I the-?

  • - Is my face the clitoris?

  • - Am I the clitoris? Oh my god.

  • I'm the clitoris!

  • - So I should rub it?

  • - ♫ Teachin' kids about sex!

  • - Who's your audience?

  • - Keep that closed 'til you're ready to get pregnant!

  • 'Cause that's what'll happen if ya'll kids have sex.

  • - At the very least, there should be a hole

  • so I could like throw babies at people

  • from the inside of my stomach.

  • - This is fetus-Eugene.

  • - What a toasty vagina!

  • - It's hot as fuck in this vagina!

  • This is the warmest vagina I've ever been in.

  • - This is like, negative sexy points.

  • - One giant vagina is gonna keep

  • all the vagina's away, I promise you that.

  • - I wanna know, who buys these costumes.

  • - They're all gross.

  • - My advice is, don't wear these.

  • - You know, if wanna dress up as a giant dick,

  • or a giant vagina, go ahead.

  • Just know that people probably

  • are gonna wanna not talk to you again.

  • - [All] Happy Halloweiner!

  • - And happy Hallovaginer!

  • Get in there! Get in there!

  • Get inside, yes, come one, all the way in!

  • (blowing sound)

  • - What's weird is that I feel the vibrations

  • of you blowing, vibrating my dick,

  • so it is doing somethin'!

  • - Heyyy!

- Please put me in you and let me wiggle around

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B2 中高級 美國腔

儘量夥計們嘗試變態的萬聖節服裝。 (The Try Guys Try Perverted Halloween Costumes)

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    SHEHI 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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