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  • Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard.

    各位女士、先生,歡迎登機。

  • My name is Russell and assisting me today will be Xanax and Zoloft.

    我是Russell ,今天輔助我的是贊安諾和樂復得(安眠鎮定及抗憂鬱藥物) 。

  • I'm here for your safety and they're here for my comfort.

    我在這裡保障你們的安全,他們負責讓我開心。

  • I'm doing the safety demo knowing full well you're all ignoring me.

    我正在做安全設備示範,我很清楚你們完全沒在聽。

  • I might as well be doing the Macarena.

    我還不如跳瑪卡蓮娜。

  • There's absolutely no way that that's gonna fit in the overhead compartment, but I'm gonna watch you try anyway.

    那絕對不可能放得進上方行李架的但不管,我要看妳試。

  • I'm not a bartender.

    我不是酒保。

  • So I will not be granting you a Bloody Mary with Worcestershire sauce.

    所以我不能保證給你的血腥瑪麗有伍茲特辣醬油。

  • Oh, is this your newborn's first time flying?

    噢,這是你的新生兒第一次搭飛機?

  • How could you do that to us?

    你怎能這樣對待我們呢?

  • There's no turbulence.

    其實沒有亂流。

  • I just turned on the seat belt sign because I want you to stay the hell out of my way.

    我打開安全帶提醒燈,因為我希望你留在位置上別來煩我。

  • Diet soda takes forever to pour.

    低糖汽水倒起來花太多時間。

  • Here's a regular one.

    這是一般汽水。

  • You won't know the difference.

    你不會知道差別的。

  • Pressing the call button repeatedly isn't gonna make me tend to you any faster.

    重複地按服務鈴不會讓我快點服務你。

  • In fact, it's gonna make me go slower.

    實際上,只會讓我去得更慢。

  • When I said I would check your bag, that was a courtesy, but you were rude so now it's going to Baltimore.

    當我說我要替你托運行李那只是客氣話,因為你很沒禮貌,所以行李會被送去巴爾的摩。

  • You know that vodka we just ran out of?

    我說我們伏特加用完了。

  • We use it to make crew juice in the galley.

    因為我們用它來調製成員工飲料了。

  • Go ahead, tug my skirt one more time.

    來呀,再拉我的裙子。

  • I dare you.

    你有膽試試看。

  • I said pretzels or peanuts.

    我說蝴蝶脆餅或花生。

  • This isn't an all you can eat buffet, honey.

    這裡不是吃到飽餐廳,親愛的。

  • I have no idea where we're flying over right now.

    我根本不知道我們現在正飛到哪。

  • So I'll just say the Bahamas.

    所以我隨口說巴哈馬群島。

  • Since you blatantly ignored the seat belt sign, I hope the turbulence knocks you on your ass.

    既然你公然地忽視安全帶燈號,我希望亂流把你整慘。

  • Oh, you think I'm coming through the cabin to pick up your trash?

    噢,你以為我穿越客艙是為了幫你收垃圾?

  • No, I'm crop-dusting.

    不,我是來「噴農藥」的。

  • Enjoy smelling my farts.

    享受我的屁味吧。

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard.

各位女士、先生,歡迎登機。

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空服員的真心話 (If Flight Attendants Were Honest)

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    YSI 發佈於 2021 年 06 月 16 日
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