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  • It is 2008.

  • And every day I wake up

  • with the same first thought on my mind.

  • Let's put on this uniform and go to my battle station.

  • I dreamt every night that I was still in the Royal Dutch Navy

  • although it had been over 15 years that I left the Navy as a telegrapher.

  • So why did this period in time seem so important to me?

  • And then I realized the Navy was the place where I was born again.

  • And I'll tell you why.

  • Do you remember as a child,

  • the only thing you really, really wanted

  • was to make your parents proud of you?

  • Of course, I had the same drive,

  • except I grew up in a family with a lot of violence and alcohol.

  • And nothing I did seemed right.

  • I remember this time in high school,

  • I wrote a winning paper on a Dutch minesweeper

  • and I received a coat of arms badge which my father hang on the wall.

  • In my recollection, the only time he was really proud of me.

  • So, when I was 18 years old, I decided to join the Navy.

  • After my first week at naval base in Den Helder,

  • I returned home, proudly, with two duffel bags wrapped around me.

  • My father, drunk as usual, came looking for me.

  • This night, as many nights before, it always ended into a fight.

  • And in an attempt to hit me,

  • my father fell down the stairs and lost consciousness.

  • And then I realized,

  • nothing I could ever do would win me his appreciation.

  • So I took my clothes, filled up my duffel bags,

  • and left home to never come back again.

  • In the Navy, I finally found what I needed.

  • I was finally out of the "fight or flight" mode.

  • I found new life values

  • like connection, friendship,

  • responsibility, but most of all freedom.

  • And can you imagine shipping on a mission for six months

  • knowing you would finally be left alone?

  • I'm a little bit emotional.

  • What I found in the Navy, I never found again in the civilian world.

  • After 15 years I wanted to return.

  • This time, the only chance for me was as a humanistic counselor.

  • So I applied to the university for Humanistic Studies.

  • And it was here, for the first time in my life,

  • I had to reflect on my own history.

  • Something I kept inside for all these years,

  • feeling like a stone on my chest,

  • affecting my daily reality for years and years.

  • The period in time was very important to me and then I realized

  • that only by telling your story

  • you can transform the shape of the emotion which has been locked inside for too long.

  • By telling your short story you can make it a new shape,

  • one you can live with more easily.

  • It was two years ago, an opportunity came to me.

  • It was an opportunity where I can help other people to tell their own stories,

  • to bring their own stories into the light.

  • In essence, it's about the stories of soldiers,

  • and their stories are transformed by musicians for everyone to hear.

  • And as the philosopher Alain de Botton says:

  • "Art is our new religion.

  • Through arts we can recognize ourselves and each other.

  • So our feelings of sorrow can meet each other and be less grieved together."

  • And in this "Your Song" project, every new encounter we had

  • we set new values, and they melted together on this new horizon.

  • Seven stories were brought onto the surface,

  • bonded together by this language called music,

  • this universal language.

  • The "Your Song" project became a documentary,

  • and it became a live concert.

  • The stories of the soldiers were performed in their preferred music genre,

  • from rock to classical music, from soul to rap.

  • The thing is what I said before:

  • if you have life stories and keep them inside, they get locked,

  • and it's very important to bring the stories outside of yourself

  • because - that's the thing that happened in the "Your Song" project -

  • the stories told varied from troops in contact and becoming brothers in arms

  • to very personal dilemmas

  • which in general, fall harder on soldiers than they do on civilians.

  • Because it's exactly those men and women who fight for freedom with high values,

  • who keep their stories locked inside and prison themselves for too long

  • like I did, and like Robert Lichtenfeld did.

  • And Robert, he looks like a typical Dutch guy.

  • He grew up in a family of diplomats,

  • and he grew up in Ghana, Egypt, and Germany.

  • When Robert was 12 years old, his parents got divorced.

  • His father travels to Denmark,

  • and he travels with his mother back to Holland.

  • And 12 years old he says to himself, "Somebody has to be the man,

  • and if my dad isn't here, I will take this role."

  • During the pre-training to get into the military,

  • Robert hears that his father has cancer.

  • At first it seems stable, but then, he gets a call that his father is dying.

  • He travels to Denmark,

  • and in his "Don't talk, just do" mentality,

  • he starts to arrange everything.

  • His father is dying, and his own need doesn't come into it.

  • After his father's death, he realizes, he can't go on like this.

  • And finally starts talking about his emotions.

  • Now, and this is his most important lesson,

  • he can talk about his emotions, if he needs to.

  • And this takes a new kind of hero.

  • (Piano music)

  • There's nothing I can do

  • Is what we tell ourselves

  • ♪ I am just one girl

  • And I'm more than just a little scared

  • Why is it up to me

  • To go and make a change? ♪

  • ♪ I've got nothing in my pocket

  • But the only one who cares

  • ♪ I'm moving higher, faster, free

  • Half the world's belly's empty

  • How can that be? ♪

  • When I've got all I need

  • Well, you know, everybody wants to be a hero

  • But no one can stand to watch a grown man cry

  • No

  • Pretending not to see

  • ♪ 'Cause it's so cold

  • and we're already tired

  • In our own lives

  • (Piano Music)

  • ♪ I love the dreams, you know

  • Pretty much anything that grows

  • And it won't leave me alone

  • Oh, I've got to do something

  • ♪ I've got to do something

  • Moving higher and faster, free

  • Half the world's belly's empty

  • How can that be? ♪

  • When I've got all I need

  • You know, everybody wants to be a hero

  • No one can stand to watch a grown man cry

  • No

  • Pretending not to see

  • ♪ ' Cause it's so cold

  • And we're already tired

  • in our own lives.♪

  • Everybody wants to be a hero

  • (Applause)

It is 2008.

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TEDx】每個人都想成為英雄,但沒有人能夠忍受一個成年男子的哭泣|Amy van Son|TEDxGroningen (【TEDx】Everybody wants to be a hero, but no one can stand a grown man cry | Amy van Son | TEDxGroningen)

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    Max Lin 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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