And this is so exciting, isn't it?

很令人興奮，對吧？

I mean, who woulda thunk it, that this would be happening?

誰會想到這居然會發生？

- I knew. - No, you didn't.

- 我知道 - 妳不知道

- No, but people do ask me,

- 但人們都會問我

and I think that's the craziest question:

我想那是最瘋狂的問題：

"Did you know it was gonna be that big of a hit?"

你原本知道這會變熱門嗎？

So now I say yes.

我現在知道了

- Uh-huh. - In fact,

事實上

I thought it would be bigger. - Uh-huh.

我原本以為應該會更受歡迎 -

And I'm let down. - Yeah.

我太失望了 - 對啊

- So, I know this one's gonna do well, too,

我知道這也會進行得很好

'cause I'm psychic. - Yeah.

因為我是靈媒

Look at that right there.

看看那裡

[cheers and applause]

（歡呼跟掌聲）

- That's before and after. That's not my fault.

那是之前和之後。這不是我的錯

- It's really-- what's not your fault?

-這真是 -什麼不是你的錯？

- What I look like now is not my fault.

我現在長這樣不是我的錯

[laughter]

（笑聲）

Now, this is not my fault.

現在這樣子，真的不是我的錯

Medication did it.

是醫療害的

Years of living longer makes you look worse.

讓我活更久，卻讓我看起來更糟

Who knew about that?

誰知道會那樣？

It's really upsetting. - [laughs]

真令人不開心。 （笑聲）

- So, but, see, I looked good then,

你看，我以前看起來很美

but didn't know it then either.

但也是不知道會變成這樣

- Yeah. We never do.

-對，我們從不知道

We never appreciate where we are in that moment in time.

- 我們從不珍惜當時的時刻

- That's what I try to think of.

那就是我試著去想的

I think, when I am 70...

當我七十歲時

- Mm-hmm. - I'm gonna wish

- Mmm - 我希望

that I looked what I looked like when I was with you.

我可以看起來像跟你在一起這時候的我一樣

- Yes, yes. - Just this, though.

-是 - 就是這樣

Okay. - Just this.

好。 就是這樣

- Just this, what I-- just right here.

就是這樣， 就現在這樣

- Just this moment? --Yeah. - Yeah.

就是這個時刻？ 是

And I'm getting these clothes and--okay, go ahead.

我要這件衣服 - 好，你講吧

- Okay.

-好

I love you so much.

我好愛你

So, we went out and we tried to sell tickets.

所以我們出去外面，試著賣電影票

We actually ended up being very charitable.

我們確實已慈善活動做結尾

We were raising money for charity,

我們為了慈善團體募款

and we didn't really have a charity in mind,

我們並沒有把慈善事業放在心裡

but we went on Barham Boulevard--

但我們走上巴勒姆大道

- I made up one.

我做了一個牌子

- Yeah, you made up ridiculous ones.

對，你做出了很荒謬牌子

But anyway, we had signs,

總之，我們有牌子

and we wanted to see how many people we could get to pull over

我們想看有多少人會為了我們停車

to give tickets to the opening night of "Star Wars."

收到我們給的星際大戰首播夜電影票

And this was just this afternoon.

這就只是今天下午而已

- "Star Wars" for charity!

- 為了慈善機構的星際大戰

- Carrie Fisher!

-Carrie Fisher!

- Carrie Fisher in stupid hair, again!

-Carrie Fisher又有很蠢的頭髮！

Look. Come on.

看！快來！

See, it's not as popular as you think.

你看，這沒有你想的那麼有名

- This movie is very popular.

-這部電影非常有名

[car honking horn] - Oh.

（汽車喇叭聲）

- Oh, pull over. - Okay.

- 停下來 - 好

- Yeah, okay, hi. - Okay, hi.

- 你好 - 你好

- Are you interested in seeing "Star Wars"?

- 你有興趣看星際大戰嗎？

Yeah, I would like to see it.

我很想看

- Have you bought tickets yet?

- 你買票了嗎？

I haven't, I was just waiting.

我還沒，我還在等

- Good, that's good.

-很好！

- So now, normally they're $500 for a pair.

- 現在，正常來說兩張票是五百元

- Right, right, right. - Because you can't get them any more.

-對 -因為你沒辦法再拿更多了

They're like, you know--

它們就像, 你知道的

- They're--they're gold. They're like gold.

它們就像黃金一樣。 它們就像黃金

- People are-- they are like gold,

-人們... - 它們就像黃金

but more. - More than gold.

甚至更多，比黃金還多

They're like Trump's money. - So, how much money

他們就像是川普的錢 - 所以你現在有

do you have?

多少錢？

- I have, like, $150.

我差不多有一百五十元

- Yeah. - But, like, on my debit card.

- 好 -但在我金融卡裡

- Oh, well, that's all right.

-好，沒關係

What do you have in your trunk? We'll trade you.

你的車子裡面有什麼東西？ 我們可以跟你交換

- Do you have-- - I have some clothes.

- 你有？ - 我有一些衣服

- This is where it pays to be a hoarder.

當一個囤積很多東西的人是值得的

- Do you have a blouse? - I have a--yeah.

你有一件短襯衫嗎？ -我有

I got a...sweatshirt. - What is that?

我有一件運動衫。 -那是什麼？

All right. Here's two tickets.

好的！兩張電影票在這裡

- [gasps] - It's for opening night.

這是首播夜

- Is it? - Yeah, opening night, 7:45.

真的嗎？七點四十五分首播

- Is this real? - It's real.

- 這是真的嗎？-這是真的

- It's real. - We didn't make you pull over for nothing.

- 這是真的。 -我們沒讓你白停車

- If she says it's real...

- 她說的是真的

- Okay, bye. - Bye, see you later.

- 掰 -掰，之後見

both: Tickets to "Star Wars"!

兩人：星際大戰的電影票！

- Tickets to "Star Wars." - Oh, yeah, oh, good, good.

星際大戰的電影票！ -耶！耶！ 好棒

Now it's happening. Now we're doing it.

現在真的發生了！我們正在努力啊

How are you doing? - We love you!

你好嗎？ 我們愛你

- Oh. It's Princess Leia.

這是公主 Leia

- Oh, hi. - Do you love me also?

- 喔，嗨！ - 妳也愛我嗎？

Uh, I don't know you yet.

我還不知道妳

- I'm Princess Leia. - Oh, now I know.

- 我是公主 Leia -我知道

- Yeah. - So we're selling tickets

-對 - 我們正在在賣票

for charity to "Star Wars." - Okay.

為了慈善團體 - 好

- So, you look like you have money, it's a nice car.

- 你看起來有帶錢。 很好的一台車

Can you take my card?

你收信用卡嗎？

- No. - No, you're gonna think

- 沒有 - 你想久一點

long and hard about it. You've got cash.

認真一點想， 你一定要有現金

All right, let's try them. - Yeah, come on.

好，換他們吧 -耶，來吧

This is bull [bleep].

這是胡說（消音）

- Are you a "Star Wars" fan? - Yes.

你是「星際大戰」迷嗎？ -是的

- Which character do you like?

- 你喜歡哪個角色？

I like Skywalker.

我喜歡天行者

- Skywalker? - Skywalker.

- 天行者? 天行者

That's my brother!

那是我的兄弟！

Do you have, like, $10?

你有十元美金嗎？

- No, just let him have it.

-沒有，就讓他留者吧

- I want $10. - All right.

- 我想要十塊錢 - 好吧

You're a nurse, right? - Yeah, I am.

- 你是護士，對吧？ -對，我是

- I like nurses. You're good people.

- 我喜歡護士，你們是好人

- Love nurses. - Thank you.

-喜歡護士 - 謝謝

- All right, we're gonna give you two tickets to opening night, "Star Wars."

- 好的，我們給你兩張「星際大戰」首播電影票

Get out!

走開！

- Get out of here.

- 離開這裡

Will you wear your nurse's outfit to the opening? - Okay

你要穿護士服去首播夜嗎？ - 好

- Nurse. - Are you a "Star Wars" fan?

- 護士 -你是「星際大戰迷」嗎？

- As soon as you heard- - I am.

當你一聽到 - 我是啊！

I was driving across the street.

我準備要過馬路

- Will you trade this for a-- - I would.

- 你要拿這個跟我交換？ - 我會

- Ask him to make a-- do you have a talent?

- 問他有.... - 你有任何技能嗎？

- He doesn't have any money.

- 他沒有任何錢。

- I can do a handstand.

- 我可以做倒立

And a song while you're up.

邊倒立邊唱一首歌

- A song while I do it? - Yeah.

-當我倒立時，唱一首歌嗎？ -是的

- [humming "Star Wars" theme]

（哼星際大戰主題曲）

- That is good.

- 做得好

- You have two tickets to go see "Star Wars" opening night.

- 你有兩張看星際大戰首播的電影票

How cool is that? - That is fantastic.

很酷吧？ 真的是太棒了

- That is cool. And dress up.

真的太棒了！ 要打扮一下

- I will. - Not the--good.

我會的 - 不是...

- The Force be with you. - Oh, and you.

力量與你同在！ -哦，你

- You want tickets to "Star Wars"?

你想要星際大戰的電影票嗎？

- Okay. - All right.

-好

Should we get in the middle?

我們需要到中間嗎？

- No. - That'll cause an accident.

-不行 - 那會造成車禍

- Opening night, "Star Wars." - Opening night.

-星際大戰首播夜 - 首播夜

- A hundred bucks? - $100 is great.

- 一百元？ -一百元最好了

- Sure, yeah. - Okay.

-好

- It's for a charity. - It's going to charity.

-這是給慈善團體的 -這會給慈善團體

- Absolutely. - All right.

- 當然

- 100 bucks for you. - Wonderful, thank you so much.

一百元給你 -超棒的！真的很謝謝你

100 bucks for me. - Oh, thank you.

一百元是我的 -哦，謝謝

- It's mine. All right.

- 這是我的 - 對

I need three, I will give you a hundred.

我需要三張，我要給你一百元

- Wow! This is taking off.

- 哇！越來越多人買了

I'm gonna take that. - Isn't that amazing?

我要拿那個。 -是不是很棒？

- That's awesome. - What is your charity?

-太棒了 -你的慈善團體是什麼的？

- My charity is for mental illness for animals.

-我的慈善團體是處理動物們的心理疾病

- Oh, that's so great. - Thank you.

- 那很棒 - 謝謝

- What do you have? What do you want to trade?

-你有什麼？ 你要拿什麼跟我交換？

- Do you have, like, $10?

- 你有十塊嗎？

- You have cigarettes, you have water,

- 你有香菸、你有水

and you have a lot of auditions down there.

你那底下有很多伴唱帶

- I know. - All right.

- 我知道 - 對啊

I'm gonna give you two tickets to opening night, "Star Wars."

我要給你兩張星際大戰首播夜電影票

Where are you going? - I'm gonna take the picture.

你要去哪裡？ 我要去拍張照

- Oh, you will? Thank you.

你要拍嗎？ 謝謝

- Here, go.

來吧

No, I'm gonna take it with Ellen.

我要幫你跟艾倫拍

Oh, okay. - Oh, she just went to Maps.

哦，好 -跑到地圖那裡去了

- Here. - I can't do it.

-這裡 -我沒辦法做到

Okay. - Now she's on Maps.

-她在地圖的頁面

She's trying to take a picture...

她試著要拍照

- Okay, go. - And she--

-好了，來吧！ -她

- Ellen! Here we go, I did it.

- 艾倫！我們好了，我用好了

There...there...and look.

那裡... 你看

- Oh, a selfie. - I can't do this.

來自拍吧 -我沒辦法自拍

Okay, no, I didn't get it. Okay, there.

我不知道怎麼用！好，那裡！