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  • OKAY, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, OKAY, GUYS.

  • I THINK WE'VE HAD ENOUGH FUN.

  • IT'S TIME FOR US TO GET A LITTLE BIT MORE SERIOUS.

  • SYRIA.

  • NOW, THE WHOLE ISSUE OF WHETHER OR NOT TO LET SYRIAN REFUGEES

  • INTO THE UNITED STATES IS A BALANCING ACT BETWEEN MORAL

  • RESPONSIBILITY AND THE RISK OF INCREASED THREATS.

  • IT'S HARD TO GET A HANDLE ON THE WHOLE SITUATION.

  • AND LUCKILY, REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE MIKE

  • HUCKABEE HAS BEEN TRYING HIS BEST TO EXPLAIN THIS ISSUE IN A

  • WAY THAT EVERYONE CAN UNDERSTAND.

  • >> YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TENS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE COMING HERE

  • FROM THE MIDDLE EAST.

  • YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE.

  • THERE'S NO WAY TO CHECK THEM.

  • LET ME ASK THIS-- IF YOU BOUGHT A FIVE-POUND BAG OF PEANUTS AND

  • YOU KNEW IN THE FIVE-POUND BAG OF PEANUTS THERE WERE ABOUT 10

  • PEANUTS THAT WERE DEADLY POISONOUS, WOULD YOU FEED THEM

  • TO YOUR KID?

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • >> Trevor: WELL, IT DEPENDS-- HOW ( BLEEP ) ARE YOUR KIDS?

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • ( CHEERS )

  • BECAUSE IF THEY'RE THE KIND OF PEOPLE WHO COMPARE SUFFERING

  • REFUGEES TO TAINTED PEANUTS, THEN MAYBE.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

  • I UNDERSTAND YOUR POSITION IS THAT THE POSSIBILITY OF A FEW

  • DANGEROUS REFUGEES MEANS THAT WE SHOULDN'T ADMIT ANY OF THEM IN.

  • BUT, YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU COULD TRY EXPRESSING THAT THOUGHT IN A

  • LESS-CALLOUS WAY.

  • >> DOES IT MAKE ANY SENSE THAT WE WOULD SAY, "WELL, WE'RE GOING

  • TO BRING IN TENS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE.

  • WE HAVE NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE.

  • WHEN CHIPOTLE HAD AN OUTBREAK OF E. COLI JUST RECENTLY, WHAT DID

  • THEY DO?

  • THEY CLOSED ALL THE CHIPOTLE RESTAURANTS.

  • I MEAN, HOW MANY GALLONS OF TAINTED MILK DO WE TOLERATE

  • BEFORE WE SAY, "TAKE IT OFF THE SHELVES IN?

  • >> Trevor: ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

  • GO BACK TO PEANUTS.

  • THAT WAS BETTER.

  • CLEARLY, MIKE HUCKABEE DOESN'T WANT SYRIAN REFUGEES COMING TO

  • AMERICA, BUT AS A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE HE NEEDS A PLAN FOR

  • THE MIDDLE EAST UNLESS HE WAS GOING TO ABANDON THE REGION.

  • >> I DON'T THINK WE CAN ABANDON THE REGION FOR THE SIMPLE REASON

  • IT DOESN'T GET BETTER WITH AGE.

  • THIS ISN'T CHEESE.

  • THIS ISN'T BEEF.

  • IT'S NOT WINE.

  • THIS IS TERRORISM.

  • >> Trevor: THAT IS THE WORST END TO A TASTE TEST EVER.

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • THIS IS NOT CHEESE.

  • THIS IS NOT BEEF.

  • IT'S NOT WINE.

  • IT'S TERRORISM!

  • AAHHH!

  • AAAHHH!

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • NOW, IS IT JUST ME OR IS MIKE HUCKABEE ALWAYS BRINGING

  • EVERYTHING BACK TO FOOD?

  • I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT THE SYRIANS.

  • HE'S COMPARED THEM TO PEANUTS, CHIPOTLE, MILK, CHEESE, BEEF,

  • AND WINE.

  • AND THAT'S JUST THE APPETIZER.

  • ONCE YOU NOTICE IT, YOU START TO SEE IT EVERYWHERE.

  • WHATEVER THE TOPIC IS, MIKE HUCKABEE ALWAYS BRINGS UP FOOD.

  • FOR INSTANCE, SOCIAL SECURITY.

  • >> THEY'RE ALWAYS GOING TO SAY WE'RE GOING TO FIX THIS ONE DAY.

  • NO, THEY'RE NOT.

  • IT'S LIKE A 400-POUND MAN SAYING I'M GOING TO GO ON A DIET BUT

  • I'M EATING A SACK OF KRISPY KREME BEFORE I DO.

  • >> Trevor: A SACK OF KRISPY KREMES?

  • IS THAT EVEN AWE THING.

  • I'M JUST PICTURING HUCKABEE STANDING THERE, "I'D LIKE A

  • SMALL COFFEE AND ONE SASK KRISPY KREMES."

  • "SORRY, SIR, WE DON'T SELL THEM BY SACKS."

  • "IT'S OKAY, I BROUGHT MY OWN."

  • HOW ABOUT THE CROWDED FIELD OF G.O.P. CANDIDATES?

  • >> REPUBLICANS HAVE A WHOLE BUFFET.

  • I MEAN, WE ARE THE GOLDEN CORAL CORCORRAL OF POLITICS.

  • >> Trevor: REPUBLICANS ARE THE GOLDEN CORRAL BUFFET.

  • WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

  • WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE, IT'S ALL GOING TO MAKE YOU SICK?

  • WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

  • WHAT ABOUT N.S.A. SURVEILLANCE?

  • >> THE N.S.A. IS COLLECTING ENORMOUS AMOUNTS OF METADATA ON

  • ALL OF US.

  • THEY CAN KNOW WHO I TALKED TO LAST THURSDAY WHEN I ORDERED

  • PIZZA AND WHAT I WANTED ON IT.

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • >> Trevor: NOW-- WHAT ARE YOU PUTTING ON YOUR PIZZA THAT

  • YOU DON'T WANT THE N.S.A. TO KNOW ABOUT?

  • "HI, I CAN HAVE AN EXTRA LARGE PIZZA WITH WOMEN'S PANTIES ON

  • TOP?

  • ACTUALLY, ACTUALLY, CAN YOU HIDE THE PANTIES IN THE CHEESE?

  • THAT WAY I HAVE TO FIND THEM."

  • (LAUGHTER )

  • REALLY, ONCE YOU LOOK AT IT, MIKE HUCKABEE'S ENTIRE TAKE ON

  • POLITICS IS FOOD BASED.

  • >> POLITICS IS LIKE OPENING A BASKIN ROBBINS STORE.

  • IF YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE SHOULD SAUSAGE, YOU HAVE TO KILL SOME

  • PIGS.

  • I WISH I COULD HAVE HAD SOME MEAT I COULD PUT IN THE MEAT

  • LOCKER.

  • WE BETTER WAKE UP AND SMELL THE FALAFEL.

  • WE'RE TALKING CHICK AND EGG HERE.

  • BACON-WRAPPED SHRIMP.

  • THE POPEYES' CHICKEN IN TERMINAL "B."

  • I CUT MYSELF MAKING SALADS.

  • PRESIDENT OBAMA GOT ROLLED LIKE A CALIFORNIA SUSHI.

  • >> Trevor: THAT IS SO MANY FOOL OF FOOD METAPHORS, IT'S TOO

  • MUCH.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, OKAY, GUYS.

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B1 中級 美國腔

每日秀》--邁克-哈卡比的食物型政治 (The Daily Show - Mike Huckabee's Food-Based Politics)

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    harry 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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