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  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • DAVID: You know, I think if you buy into this feminist

  • philosophy, you're going to get yourself in trouble.

  • ANDREA: Do you realize how offensive

  • you're being right now?

  • DAVID: Andrea, it's just basic science.

  • Men go all over the place, and they screw.

  • That's how-- that's what they do.

  • And women stay home and take care of the nest.

  • ANDREA: Jesus, you're a fucking caveman.

  • DAVID: Why do you think men make more money?

  • That's why women stay home and they like, raise kids, and

  • they're basically good at being

  • secretaries and teachers.

  • ANDREA: Oh my god.

  • DAVID: Orville and Wilbur Wright.

  • They were men.

  • They invented airplanes.

  • They can fly.

  • It's not a coincidence.

  • Look at George Washington Carver.

  • He invented peanut butter.

  • He was a man.

  • A black man, yes, but he was a man.

  • Like, look, how many whores are there

  • versus how many gigolos?

  • I never see gigolos.

  • Never.

  • Whores, a lot.

  • ANDREA: David, you don't understand women at all.

  • And until you do, you're going to be miserable and alone.

  • Excuse me.

  • DAVID: What are you doing?

  • ANDREA: Excuse me.

  • DAVID: What?

  • Would you wait a second?

  • ANDREA: No.

  • DAVID: I know what you thinking, right?

  • I don't understand women.

  • Well, you're right.

  • I don't understand women.

  • They're life's greatest mystery to me.

  • But how would I learn how women tick?

  • I mean, what?

  • Is there some kind of school for women?

  • I mean, yeah, maybe Smith College is one, and Mount

  • Holyoke, Brynn Marr, Barnard, Wellesley College.

  • Ratcliff, Vassar, Mills College, Hollins University,

  • Simmons College, Sweet Briar College.

  • But where am I going to learn about what it's

  • like to be a woman?

  • Wait a minute.

  • Say, man, you know a place around here where a guy can

  • get ahold of a canister of lipstick?

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • Showtime.

  • DAVID: Hi.

  • MATT: Uh, hi.

  • DAVID: I couldn't help but notice you

  • from across the room.

  • I am so hard right now.

  • I mean, my nipples are so erect right now.

  • MATT: Oh.

  • DAVID: Matt.

  • It's me, David.

  • You're favorite single friend.

  • MATT: Oh my god, David, is that you?

  • DAVID: Shh.

  • I'm under cover.

  • I'm trying to learn more about women.

  • MATT: You completely had me fooled.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: need to learn how to listen.

  • When I'm having sex, I want to be able to

  • tell him what I like.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: You think after four years he would

  • remember my birthday.

  • How hard is it to remember my birthday?

  • DAVID: Now that I know everything about women,

  • Andrea's going to be putty in my hands.

  • DAVID: Our culture can be so misogynistic.

  • It's hard enough for women to compete in the career track

  • with the way society frowns on maternity leave.

  • I don't know.

  • As far as I'm concerned the woman's place in the house,

  • the White House.

  • ANDREA: Wow.

  • I'm truly impressed with your progressive attitudes.

  • What made you change?

  • DAVID: Well, let's just say I got in touch

  • with my feminine side.

  • ANDREA: Cheers to that.

  • ANDREA: By they way, just so you know, I'm still not

  • attracted to you.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • DAVID: Anybody home?

  • I'm here to spill my seed for cash.

  • I guess nobody's here.

  • I'll just get ready to do my thing.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: May I help you?

  • DAVID: Uh--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

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Wainy Days #6 'A Woman's Touch' (Rashida Jones) (Wainy Days #6 'A Woman's Touch' (Rashida Jones))

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    紅謹 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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