[If Dentists Were Honest]

［如果牙醫很誠實］

I spend all this time and energy working on your teeth and you won't even smile at me.

我花了那麼多時間和精力在你的牙齒上，你連笑一下都不願意。

I can tell you flossed this morning and not a single time before that.

我看得出來你今天早上有用牙線，而那是你唯一的一次。

Now you don't need this many shots of Novocaine but I'm a little hung over and I might mess up.

你其實並不需要那麼多麻醉劑，但我有點醉了而且可能會搞砸一切。

I like asking you questions when you can't respond 'cause I think it's hilarious.

我喜歡在你無法回答時問問題，因為這實在太好玩了。

You know, I've always found the human mouth a disgusting place.

你知道嗎？我總是認為人類的嘴巴是個噁心的地方。

I could take care of this in 20 minutes right now but let's spread this out over three appointments.

我 20 分鐘內就可以解決你的問題，但我想要分成三次預約來做。

To be perfectly honest, I hate going to the dentist too.

說真的，我也很討厭看牙醫。

I never go to the dentist.

我從來不看牙醫。

Feel those little chunks in your mouth?

感覺到你嘴裡的那些小碎塊了嗎？

That's your shattered teeth.

那是你碎裂的牙齒。

How come you never ask me any questions?

你怎麼都不問我問題？

I have a life.

我有其他事情可做、也有生活的。

Oops. That wasn't the right tooth.

啊！我弄錯顆了。

Do you want bubblegum or mint flavor? Because you're an adult.

你想要泡泡糖還是薄荷口味的，畢竟你是個大人了。

Bubblegum.

泡泡糖口味。

It really doesn't matter what flavor you choose, they all taste like wiper fluid.

其實不管你選什麼都沒差，它們嚐起來都像擋風玻璃清潔劑。

It's just gonna be a tiny pinch of excruciating pain. Ow!

- 這只是小小的如酷刑般的痛。- 噢！

I hate Finding Nemo.

我討厭海底總動員。

Suction.

要吸囉。

It's never not funny.

這一直都很好笑。

Bite me again and I'll smack you, I don't care if you're five.

再咬我一次我就巴你，我不在乎你才五歲。

This guy's got a nicer smile than I do.

這傢伙笑起來比我好看。

You're gonna need braces.

你需要做矯正。

She does all the work, I'm just here for show.

她負責所有的工作，我只是來看戲的。

Four out of five dentists agree that you're an asshole.

五個牙醫中有四個認為你是個混蛋。

You think this is scary? Wait till you see the bill.

你以為這就很可怕了嗎？等到你看到帳單再說吧。