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  • I'm going to tell you a little bit

    我今天要告訴妳一些

  • about my TEDxHouston Talk.

    我上回在 TEDxHouston 的演講

  • I woke up the morning after I gave that Talk

    我在那次演講後的早晨

  • with the worst vulnerability hangover

    經歷我有始以來最糟的

  • of my life.

    脆弱感後遺症。

  • And I actually didn't leave my house

    我感覺糟糕到

  • for about three days.

    在那演講後的三天我都沒出門。

  • The first time I left was to meet a friend for lunch.

    我第一次再度出門是去跟一個朋友共進午餐。

  • And when I walked in, she was already at the table.

    當我走進去的時候,他已經坐在座位上了。

  • And I sat down, and she said,

    我坐下,然後她說:

  • "God, you look like hell."

    「天啊!你看起來慘不人賭!」

  • I said, "Thanks. I feel really --

    我回答:「謝謝。我真的感到--

  • I'm not functioning."

    我的身體無法正常運作。」

  • And she said, "What's going on?"

    她問我:「到底發生什麼事了?」

  • And I said, "I just told

    我說:「我在不久前

  • 500 people

    跟五百個人分享

  • that I became a researcher

    我是一個

  • to avoid vulnerability.

    躲避脆弱感的研究者。

  • And that when being vulnerable

    我告訴他們,我在收集關於脆弱感的資料後發現

  • emerged from my data,

    脆弱感的本身

  • as absolutely essential

    正是我們能夠

  • to whole-hearted living,

    全心生活的基本要素,

  • I told these 500 people

    並且我告訴這五百人,

  • that I had a breakdown.

    我因為這個發現經歷了一場崩潰。

  • I had a slide that said Breakdown.

    我有一張簡報就寫著“崩潰”兩個字。

  • At what point did I think that was a good idea?"

    到底是在什麼時候我覺得這會是個好主意呢?

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And she said, "I saw your Talk live-streamed.

    她對我說,「我有看你那場講座的現場直播。

  • It was not really you.

    那並不像真正的妳。

  • It was a little different than what you usually do.

    那跟平常的妳有些落差,

  • But it was great."

    但那是場很棒的演講。」

  • And I said,

    我答:

  • "This can't happen.

    「我不能讓它發生,

  • YouTube, they're putting this thing on YouTube.

    YouTube,他們要把講座影片放到Youtube 上面。

  • And we're going to be talking about 600, 700 people."

    我就等於要在跟六,七百的人說話。」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And she said, "Well, I think it's too late."

    然後她說,“我想現在想這些都太遲了。”

  • And I said, "Let me ask you something."

    我說:讓我問妳一件事。

  • And she said, "Yeah."

    她說:好阿。

  • And I said, "Do you remember when we were in college

    我說:你記得我們在大學的時候

  • and really wild and kind of dumb?"

    曾瘋狂像個傻子的樣子嗎?

  • And she said, "Yeah."

    她說,我記得。

  • And I said, "Remember when we'd leave a really bad message

    然後我問:你記得我們曾經

  • on our ex-boyfriend's answering machine?

    在我們前男友的答錄機裡留下很糟的留言嗎?

  • Then we'd have to break into his dorm room

    我們還得闖入他的宿舍房間

  • and then erase the tape?"

    去刪除那個錄音嗎?

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And she goes, "Uh ... no."

    然後她回我:嗯…我不記得。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • So of course, the only thing I could think of to say at that point was,

    所以,當時我能想到的回應只有這個:

  • "Yeah, me neither.

    恩..對啊,我也不記得。

  • That ... me neither."

    那件事我…也不記得。

  • And I'm thinking to myself,

    然後我在腦海裡思考,

  • "Brene, what are you doing? What are you doing?

    「Brene 妳在幹嘛?妳到底在幹嘛?

  • Why did you bring this up? Have you lost your mind?

    為什麼要提起這件事?妳失去理智了嗎?

  • Your sisters would be perfect for this."

    你的姊妹們會對這個很有一套的。」

  • So I looked back up and she said,

    我停了一下,然後她說:

  • "Are you really going to try to break in

    「你真的要在他們

  • and steal the video

    把影片放到Youtube 上之前

  • before they put it on YouTube?"

    在闖進去將他偷走嗎?」

  • And I said, "I'm just thinking about it a little bit."

    我答:「我只是有一點想這麼做而已。」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • She said, "You're like the worst vulnerability role model ever."

    她說:妳真的是個有史以來最差的“脆弱感”模範。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And then I looked at her and I said something

    我看著她然後說了一些

  • that at the time felt a little dramatic,

    當時感覺蠻戲劇化的話

  • but ended up being more prophetic than dramatic.

    但到最後成為一個更像是預言的話

  • I said,

    我說:

  • "If 500 turns into 1,000

    「如果五百 個(觀眾)變成一千個

  • or 2,000,

    或兩千個,

  • my life is over."

    我的生命就真的完了。」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I had no contingency plan for four million.

    我完全沒有預料到會有四百萬個觀眾。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And my life did end when that happened.

    我的生命在那時候真的是玩完了。

  • And maybe the hardest part about my life ending

    或許,這當中最困難的部份

  • is that I learned something hard about myself,

    是我看見了關於我自己的矛盾。

  • and that was that,

    就像

  • as much as I would frustrated

    我總是因為不能順利地

  • about not being able to get my work out to the world,

    廣傳我的研究而感到十分挫折,

  • there was a part of me that was working very hard

    我也同時竭力的想

  • to engineer staying small,

    想將自己縮小,

  • staying right under the radar.

    讓自己變得很不醒目。

  • But I want to talk about what I've learned.

    我想要告訴你麼我學到的功課。

  • There's two things that I've learned in the last year.

    去年我學會了兩件事情。

  • The first is

    第一件事是

  • vulnerability is not weakness.

    脆弱感並不等於懦弱。

  • And that myth

    有這個迷思

  • is profoundly dangerous.

    是非常危險的。

  • Let me ask you honestly --

    讓我問你—

  • and I'll give you this warning,

    我要先給你一個警告,

  • I'm trained as a therapist,

    我是一個被訓練過的治療師,

  • so I can out-wait you uncomfortably --

    我可以等你, 等到你感到非常不舒服—

  • so if you could just raise your hand that would be awesome --

    所以如果妳可以簡單誠實的舉起你的手,那會省事很多。

  • how many of you honestly,

    你們當中有多少人,

  • when you're thinking about doing something vulnerable

    在想到要做,或是要說些一些

  • or saying something vulnerable,

    關於脆弱的事時

  • think, "God, vulnerability's weakness. This is weakness?"

    會覺得 「天啊,脆弱就等於懦弱。這就是懦弱?」

  • How many of you think of vulnerability and weakness synonymously?

    在你們當中有多少人覺得脆弱跟懦弱是相似詞?

  • The majority of people.

    大多數的人都這麼覺得。

  • Now let me ask you this question:

    現在我再問一個問題:

  • This past week at TED,

    過去一周在TED的講座,

  • how many of you, when you saw vulnerability up here,

    在座當中有多少人,當你們看到脆弱感在台上被呈現時,

  • thought it was pure courage?

    覺得那是一個很純粹的勇氣?

  • Vulnerability is not weakness.

    脆弱不是懦弱。

  • I define vulnerability

    我會定義脆弱

  • as emotional risk,

    是一個情緒上的風險,

  • exposure, uncertainty.

    被暴露,以及不確定性。

  • It fuels our daily lives.

    它推動著我們過每一天。

  • And I've come to the belief --

    當我這麼相信的時候—

  • this is my 12th year doing this research --

    那是我第12年在作這個研究—

  • that vulnerability

    脆弱

  • is our most accurate measurement

    是測量勇氣

  • of courage --

    最精準的量尺—

  • to be vulnerable, to let ourselves be seen,

    勇敢的允許自己脆弱,

  • to be honest.

    讓真實的自己被看見。

  • One of the weird things that's happened

    有件很奇怪的事情發生,

  • is, after the TED explosion,

    在那次TED講座之後。

  • I got a lot of offers to speak all over the country --

    我被邀請到全國各地方去演講—

  • everyone from schools and parent meetings

    從學校,家長座談會

  • to Fortune 500 companies.

    到擁有五百個員工的公司。

  • And so many of the calls went like this,

    他們大多會在電話上說:

  • "Hey, Dr. Brown. We loved your TEDTalk.

    Dr. Brown妳好,我們很喜歡你的TED演講,

  • We'd like you to come in and speak.

    我們想要邀請你來跟我們分享。

  • We'd appreciate it

    我們會很高興,

  • if you wouldn't mention vulnerability or shame."

    如果你不會涉及到脆弱或是羞辱感。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • What would you like for me to talk about?

    你希望我談些甚麼呢?

  • There's three big answers.

    他們給我三個大的答案。

  • This is mostly, to be honest with you, from the business sector:

    老實說,這是大多數的公司行號會選的:

  • innovation, creativity

    創新,創意,

  • and change.

    還有改變。

  • So let me go on the record

    讓我從我的經歷中

  • and say,

    告訴你們吧

  • vulnerability is the birthplace

    脆弱是

  • of innovation, creativity and change.

    創新,創意,還有改變 誕生的地方。

  • (Applause)

    (掌聲)

  • To create is to make something

    去創造ㄧ些

  • that has never existed before.

    過去不存在的東西,

  • There's nothing more vulnerable than that.

    沒有什麼比這個更脆弱的了。

  • Adaptability to change

    適應改變的能力

  • is all about vulnerability.

    需要的全是勇氣。

  • The second thing,

    第二件事,

  • in addition to really finally understanding

    為了要完全瞭解

  • the relationship between vulnerability and courage,

    脆弱和勇氣之間的關係,

  • the second thing I learned is this:

    我學到的第二件事是這個:

  • We have to talk about shame.

    我們需要聊聊羞辱感。

  • And I'm going to be really honest with you.

    我將會非常誠實的對你們說,

  • When I became a "vulnerability researcher"

    當我成為那個“脆弱感研究者”,

  • and that became the focus because of the TEDTalk --

    而成為關注的原因是因為TEDTalk—

  • and I'm not kidding.

    我可沒有在開玩笑。

  • I'll give you an example.

    讓我給你一個例子。

  • About three months ago, I was in a sporting goods store

    大約三個月前,我在一個運動用品店

  • buying goggles and shin guards

    要買護目鏡和護腿板

  • and all the things that parents buy at the sporting goods store.

    和所有父母親會在運動用品店買的東西。

  • About from a hundred feet away, this is what I hear:

    大約在ㄧ尺遠的距離,我聽見

  • "Vulnerability TED! Vulnerability TED!"

    “脆弱感TED! 脆弱感TED!”

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I'm a fifth generation Texan.

    我是第五世代的德州人

  • Our family motto is "Lock and load."

    我們家的格言是 “子彈上膛 (準備出擊)“

  • I am not a natural vulnerability researcher.

    我並不是一個天生的脆弱感研究者。

  • So I'm like,

    所以

  • just keep walking, she's on my six.

    我就繼續走,

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And then I hear, "Vulnerability TED!"

    然後我又聽到“脆弱感TED!”

  • I turn around, I go, "Hi."

    我轉身,然後說 :嗨。

  • She's right here and she said,

    他就在我身旁然後說:

  • "You're the shame researcher who had the breakdown."

    「你就是的個(在台上)崩潰的那個羞愧的研究者」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • At this point

    就在那個時候,

  • parents are, like, pulling their children close.

    所有在場的父母都把小孩緊抓在她們身邊。

  • "Look away."

    「別去看她」

  • And I'm so worn out at this point in my life,

    我那時的生活已經是精疲力盡了,

  • I look at her and I actually say,

    所以我看著她然後說:

  • "It was a frickin' spiritual awakening."

    「那是個超讚的靈魂甦醒經驗!」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • (Applause)

    (掌聲)

  • And she looks back and does this,

    然後他看著我做這個

  • "I know."

    ( 眨眼)「我知道」

  • And she said,

    然後她說,

  • "We watched your TEDTalk in my book club.

    「我們在我們的讀書會中看你的演講

  • Then we read your book

    然後我們看你的書

  • and we renamed ourselves

    我們改稱我們自己

  • 'The Breakdown Babes.'"

    "崩潰寶寶"

  • And she said, "Our tagline is:

    然後他說「我們的標語是:

  • 'We're falling apart and it feels fantastic.'"

    我們正在失敗然後這感覺超讚!」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • You can only imagine

    你們就可以想像

  • what it's like for me in a faculty meeting.

    我在教職員會議中是怎麼樣被看待。

  • So when I became Vulnerability TED,

    所以當我變成脆弱感 TED,

  • like an action figure --

    就像一個動作片人物,

  • like Ninja Barbie, but I'm Vulnerability TED --

    像忍者芭比,只是我的名字是脆弱感TED。

  • I thought, I'm going to leave that shame stuff behind,

    我在想,這樣我就可以將羞辱感的事情拋在後頭,

  • because I spent six years studying shame

    因為研究羞辱感

  • before I really started writing and talking about vulnerability.

    是我在研究脆弱感的六年前所作的。

  • And I thought, thank God, because shame is this horrible topic,

    我在想,真是感謝上帝!因為羞辱感是一個超可怕的題目,

  • no one wants to talk about it.

    沒有人會想要聊關於它的事。

  • It's the best way to shut people down on an airplane.

    它是使人在飛機上閉嘴最好的方法。

  • "What do you do?" "I study shame." "Oh."

    「你的職業是在做些什麼呢?」「我研究羞辱感。」「噢」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And I see you.

    而且我可以看(穿)你。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • But in surviving this last year,

    但去年為了要活下來,

  • I was reminded of a cardinal rule --

    我被一個很基本的規則提醒著—

  • not a research rule,

    不是研究規則,

  • but a moral imperative

    而是在我成長過程中的

  • from my upbringing --

    道德規則。

  • you've got to dance with the one who brung ya.

    就是要繼續作那些讓你成功的事。

  • And I did not learn about vulnerability

    我並沒有從研究脆弱感中學到關於脆弱

  • and courage and creativity and innovation

    關於勇氣,關於創意,關於創新

  • from studying vulnerability.

    這些事。

  • I learned about these things

    我是在研究羞辱感中

  • from studying shame.

    學到那些的。

  • And so I want to walk you in

    所以我想要帶各位

  • to shame.

    了解羞辱感。

  • Jungian analysts call shame

    Jungian (心理學家)稱羞辱感為

  • the swampland of the soul.

    “靈魂的沼澤地”。

  • And we're going to walk in.

    我們現在要走進去。

  • And the purpose is not to walk in

    我們的目的不是要走進去

  • and construct a home and live there.

    然後去蓋一個房子住在那裡,

  • It is to put on some galoshes

    我們是要穿上橡膠鞋走進去

  • and walk through and find our way around.

    穿進去並找到可以走了路。

  • Here's why.

    這是因為:

  • We heard the most compelling call ever

    在這個國家,我們都聽過這個迫切的呼籲

  • to have a conversation in this country,

    要彼此對話

  • and I think globally,

    我覺得全世界都是這樣,

  • around race, right?

    一個環繞各個種族問題的對話,對嗎?

  • Yes? We heard that.

    我們都聽過,

  • Yes?

    對吧?

  • Cannot have that conversation without shame,

    如果我們不提及羞辱感 我們就不能有這樣的對話 。

  • because you cannot talk about race without talking about privilege.

    因為你ㄧ談論種族就不得不談到特權,

  • And when people start talking about privilege,

    而當人們談到特權時,

  • they get paralyzed by shame.

    他們就會因羞辱感而感到癱瘓。

  • We heard a brilliant simple solution

    我們都聽過一個聰明又簡單的解答,

  • to not killing people in surgery,

    要降低在手術中殺人的機率

  • which is have a checklist.

    ,就是準備一個核對清單。

  • You can't fix that problem without addressing shame,

    你不可以解決這個問題卻不去處理羞辱感。

  • because when they teach those folks how to suture,

    因為當他們要教那群人(醫生)如何縫合的時候,

  • they also teach them how to stitch their self-worth

    他們得同時教導那些人如何縫合自我價值

  • to being all-powerful.

    以至於能成為全能者。

  • And all-powerful folks don't need checklists.

    而全能者是不需要核對清單的。

  • And I had to write down the name of this TED Fellow

    我得寫下這個TED學者的名字,

  • so I didn't mess it up here.

    所以我才不會搞錯。

  • Myshkin Ingawale,

    Myshkin Ingawale,

  • I hope I did right by you.

    我希望我的拼對。

  • (Applause)

    (掌聲)

  • I saw the TED Fellows my first day here.

    我第一天到這裡時看到了這位來自TED成員。

  • And he got up and he explained

    他站了起來,解釋他是如何

  • how he was driven to create

    而被驅策去創造

  • some technology to help test for anemia

    一些技術來幫助檢測出貧血,

  • because people were dying unnecessarily.

    以防止病人因為沒必要的因素死亡。

  • And he said, "I saw this need.

    他說,「我看到這方面的需求,

  • So you know what I did? I made it."

    所以,你知道我做了什麼?我做一個嘗試。」

  • And everybody just burst into applause, and they were like "Yes!"

    然後全場的人都給予他掌聲,說太好了!

  • And he said, "And it didn't work.

    他接著說,「但它並沒有成功。

  • And then I made it 32 more times,

    於是我又再試了32次,

  • and then it worked."

    然後它才奏效。」