and I'd see him again and when I see him again

而我可以再看到他，且當我再次看到他時

he won't be in pain anymore.

他已經不再有任何病痛了。

And he won't be weak.

且不再虛弱。

When My Parent Passed Away

當我的父母過世

I was six years old when my mom passed away.

當我六歲時，我媽媽逝世了。

My mom died when I was 17, she was sick.

當我十七歲時，我媽媽去世，她生病了。

She had cancer the majority of my childhood.

在我大半的童年時光中，她罹患癌症。

My dad was sick for as long as I can remember.

從我有記憶以來，我爸爸已在病痛之中。

When I was born he was just recently diagnosed

當我出生的時候，他正被診斷出

with multiple sclerosis.

出罹患「多發性硬化症」。

You know, I went and talked to my mom and I,

你知道的，我去找我的媽媽並和她說

you know, I sat down next to her bed and I told her,

你知道的，我坐在他床圍並告訴她

I said, "This is what the doctors have told us."

我說：「醫生是這麼告訴我們的。」

They said there might be a solution, but we might have to,

他們說有可能有救治的方法，但我們可能需要去

you know, go across the country to this doctor's place

你知道的，跨越其他州到這位醫生的所在地，

to try it out.

去試試看。

And she just looked at me and she's like, "No more."

然後她就只是看著我，就像是在說：「不要了。」

I can't.

我承受不住。

My father who was young and didn't smoke

我父親很年輕，而且並不抽菸，

came down with pancreatic cancer and within less than

卻罹患胰臟癌，而且只剩下不到

six months he had passed away.

六個月的時間。 他去世了。

My father died first.

我爸爸先去世。

He had arterial sclerotic heart disease so he had a

他罹患動脈性硬化心臟病，所以他有

massive heart attack.

急性的心臟病。

And then my mother, she died about five months later

接著是我的母親，她則是於五個月後去世

and she just had, like, a sudden cardiac arrest and I was

然後她就像是心臟驟停一般，而當此事發生時，

on the phone with her when it happened, but I didn't know

我正在電話的另一端，但我卻不知道。

that she had died.

然後她也去世了。

We always had the thing in our family when you,

我們總是有過和家人...當你...

you know, love you, love you more.

你知道的...，愛你、我更愛你...

I believe it was me to him, "Love ya."

我相信我對他是：「愛你啊！」

And then on my way out the door I heard, "Love you more."

接著當我在門外時聽到：「我更愛你。」

And that was the last thing he ever said to me.

然後這是他對我說過的最後一句話。

And he was throwing up due to the chemo therapy.

接著他開始因為化療的副作用而嘔吐。

I was young and I walked past it and I recoiled and said

當時我很年輕，並走避嘔吐物，接著我退縮地說

gross and ran away.

好噁心，然後跑掉了。

Ever since then, that's just replayed in my head

自從那一刻起，這一段畫面不斷在我腦中重演

since childhood.

從我的孩童時光起。

There were so many unknowns happening.

有太多太多未知的事情發生。

Like, I felt that it was my fault, then I realized

就像是，我感覺到這是我的錯，然後到我瞭解

it wasn't my fault.

這其實並不是我的錯。

I remember walking out of the funeral home

我記得當我步出殯儀室時，

holding the casket and I grabbed my little brother

捧著骨灰罈，然後我緊抓著弟弟

and I hugged him, I said, "I promise you everything's

接著我抱住他，我說：「我向你承諾一切

"gonna be okay, I'm gonna make sure of it.

都會好起來的。 我向你保證。」

"Everything's gonna be fine."

「一切都會好起來的。」

And I hope I did the right thing.

我希望我做對了。

I'm hoping that I was able to do what, at least half

我希望我能做到像媽媽，或至少像媽媽的一半

my mother was able to do for me.

她曾經對我做過的。

It was mother's day and everyone was, like,

到了母親節這天，每個人就像是...

crocheting these like things for their mom and I was the only

別上這些像是要給媽媽的東西，而我是唯一一位

kid in class that, like, didn't.

在班上的孩子...就像...沒有一樣...

So then I just did it for my grandma which sounds weird.

所以我就給我的祖母做了一個，聽起來很奇怪...

So, yeah, that's when

是啊... 就是那時候...

I kind of understood that, like,

我開始有一點理解...就像是...

that everyone else kind of had this thing and I didn't.

其他人都有，但我卻沒有。

You never really lose certain memories or certain parts

你從未真正失去對他們真切的記憶或部分

of their personality and I, to this day, will be watching

且直至今日，我還是會看個電影

a movie that I watched with him several times or a TV show

看著那已經和他看過好幾次的電視節目，

that I watched several times with him and I can still hear

那個我和他一起看過好幾次...並會聽到

the parts where he laughed.

他曾為幾個片段大笑的笑聲。

That void is always gonna be there and it's a part of

這個空間他一直都會在那而，而且是我現在的我

who I am today, but it doesn't have to pull me in,

的一部分，不過它不需要把我拉進(悲傷)漩渦之中，

it doesn't have to take over me.

它不會使我迷失。

And it's something that I work on all the time.

這是一直以來我所奉行的。

I had a therapist for the first six months after it

在事情發生後的六個月，我有一位治療師，

happened 'cause it helps to talk to someone without bias.

因為他能夠不偏頗地幫助我說出來。

I go to therapy.

我去接受治療。

Yeah, I go to therapy because this isn't an issue that's

摁，我去接受治療因為這並不是什麼大不了的事

just gonna, like, go away.

就只像是，他需要...離開了

You are going to deal with the loss of your parents

你將要去面對父母親過世的消息，

for years.

好幾年...

If there's somebody that you care about,

如果有任何人是你所關心的，

you need to let them know.

你需要讓他們知道。

And just don't waste time cause the biggest things

然後真的不要浪費時間，因為你學到最多的事情是，

you learn because you can be taken today, tomorrow,

你不知道你什麼時候會離開，今天？明天？

in 50 years, you don't know.

或是五十年後，你並不知道。

I learned a lot in those 16 years and I, like,

在這十六年間我學到很多，而且我...喜歡

cherish those memories.

珍惜這些記憶。

I always tell my friends, you know, cherish your parents.

我常常告訴我的朋友，你知道的，好好珍惜你的父母。

You never know when they're gonna go.

你永遠不會知道他們什麼時候會走。

Cherish the time you had about (with them) and share that

珍惜你和他們擁有的時光，並分享它

with people because everyone's in it together and we all

因為我們都一同擁有過，而且我們

are going through the same thing.

都同樣經歷過一樣的事情。

We are in a struggle together and together we become stronger.

我們一起陷入掙扎，但我們也一起獲致成長的茁壯。