Name: 【TED】歐伊·蒂利特·萊特：同性戀的五十道漸層 (iO Tillett Wright: Fifty shades of gay)
Uploaded: 2013-04-16T15:05:21.000Z
Duration: 18 min 19 s

Human beings start putting each other into boxes

Is that person dangerous? Are they attractive?

他（她）有危險麼？有吸引力麼？

Are they a potential mate? Are they a potential networking opportunity?

有可能成為交往對象麼？是擴充人脈的機會麼？

We do this little interrogation when we meet people

我們在遇見他人的時候都會這樣

在腦海中為他（她）建立一個履歷。

Does your breath smell bad while you're answering my interrogation right now?

你喜歡什麼？你喜歡什麼樣的人？

我們的大腦早就已經設定好了，

We start forming cliques as soon as we're old enough

當我們感覺到被人認可的那一刻，

我們就開始建立自己的小集團。

We bond together based on anything that we can --

任何特徵都可以把我們聯繫起來—

music preference, race, gender, the block that we grew up on.

音樂喜好，種族，性別，一起成長的小區...

We seek out environments that reinforce our personal choices.

我們都在尋找能夠強化我們個人選擇的環境。

Sometimes, though, just the question "what do you do?"

有時候，僅僅是“你是做什麼的”這個問題

can feel like somebody's opening a tiny little box

就足夠讓你覺得有人打開了一個小盒子，

and asking you to squeeze yourself inside of it.

Because the categories, I've found, are too limiting.

我認為，這種盒子中的分類太有局限性了，

I grew up in a very sheltered environment.

我在一個受庇護的環境中長大。

I was raised in downtown Manhattan in the early 1980s,

一九八零年代初期，我生長在曼哈頓市區，

two blocks from the epicenter of punk music.

離朋克音樂中心只有兩個街區的距離。

and the social restrictions of a religiously-based upbringing.

以及在強烈宗教環境的社會約束所帶來的痛苦。

Where I come from, if you weren't a drag queen or a radical thinker

我長大的地方，如果你不是偽娘，激進分子，

我的成長過程是有點叛逆，非傳統的

但是作為一個紐約街頭的小孩，

you learn how to trust your own instincts,

So when I was six, I decided that I wanted to be a boy.

在我六歲的時候，我決定要做一個小伙子。

I went to school one day and the kids wouldn't let me play basketball with them.

有一天我在學校想打籃球但是別的孩子不跟我玩，

and I came back the next day and I said, "I'm a boy."

第二天我回到那裡對他們說，“我是男孩”。

我是說，誰看得出來呢，對吧？

當你六歲的時候你也能這麼做。

I didn't want anyone to know that I was a girl, and they didn't.

我不希望任何人知道我是女孩，我做到了，

I was a little street tough that followed Christian Slater around and badgered him.

我是個街頭小混混，成天跟在克里斯琴·斯內特左右，纏著他。

which doubled up the layers of the performance of my identity,

這在兩個層面上掩飾了我的身份，

because no one knew that I was actually a girl really playing a boy.

因為沒有人知道我在女扮男裝。

In fact, no one in my life knew that I was a girl --

事實上沒有任何和我接觸的人知道我是女孩 --

not my teachers at school, not my friends,

跟我一起拍戲的導演都不知道。

and grab me by the throat to check for an Adam's apple

or grab my crotch to check what I was working with.

或抓我的檔部看看我是男是女。

When I would go to the bathroom, I would turn my shoes around in the stalls

當我上廁所的時候我把鞋子反過來穿著

so that it looked like I was peeing standing up.

在外過夜的時候，我時常會恐慌：

trying to break it to girls that they didn't want to kiss me

如何在不暴露自己的前提下把這個事件

that I didn't hate my body or my genitalia.

I didn't feel like I was in the wrong body.

I felt like I was performing this elaborate act.

我只是覺得這是一場精心籌備的演出。

I wouldn't have qualified as transgender.

If my family, though, had been the kind of people to believe in therapy,

假如我的家人是相信心理治療的話，

他們或許會認為我是性別畸形，

and put me on hormones to stave off puberty.

我在14歲的時候突然的覺醒了，

and I decided that I wanted to be a girl again.

Puberty had hit, and I had no idea what being a girl meant,

青春期來了，我不知道這個決定意味著什麼，

and I was ready to figure out who I actually was.

像我這樣（女扮男裝）的孩子，

they don't exactly have to come out, right?

But I wasn't asked to define myself by my parents.

但是我的父母並沒有要求我給自己歸類。

在我15歲的時候，我給爸爸打電話

it was the last thing on either of our minds

of the fact that my first love was a girl.

Three years later, when I fell in love with a man,

neither of my parents batted an eyelash either.

See, it's one of the great blessings of my very unorthodox childhood

瞧，在我離經叛道的童年經歷中最大的幸運，

that I wasn't ever asked to define myself

I was just allowed to be me, growing and changing in every moment.

我能夠自由地做自己，成長，並隨時改變自己。

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【TED】歐伊·蒂利特·萊特：同性戀的五十道漸層 (iO Tillett Wright: Fifty shades of gay)

potential

grab

empathy

straight