the state of the planet,

地球現況、

the economy,

經濟環境、

the future of humanity,

對人性的指望、

,and yet there's one area where many of us retain a curious sense of optimism.

但對某件事，我們總是抱持奇怪的樂觀態度

We have faith that, from among the millions of our fellow human beings out there,

我們相信，在茫茫人海中

we will one day be able to locate a very special person,

有天一定會找到那個獨一無二的人

a being uniquely well suited to our temperaments, tastes and aspirations;

完全符合我們的性情、品味及理想

someone who will feel like the missing bit of the complicated jigsaw of our deep selves - someone who can make us whole.

他就像是複雜拼圖中那塊失落的自我，使我們變完整

We know it won't be easy to find them. So many people seem nice, at first,

我們知道要找到他並不容易，很多人一開始看起來都很好

and then the problems emerge:

但問題接著浮現

it turns out they have a very annoying sister…

沒想到他有個討人厭的妹妹

or they are far too nervous about things; always insisting on arriving at the airport three hours too early…

或他對事情過度緊張，總是堅持提早 3 小時到機場

or they have appalling taste in music…

或他的音樂品味很糟

or their conversation after a long day at work leaves a lot to be desired.

或在辛苦工作之後，他的談話表現有待加強

That's why we keep searching: calling for more space, taking a break, getting divorced,

於是我們不斷尋找：要求更多空間、暫停一下、離婚

scrolling through future possibilities online…

在網路上尋覓未來的對象 ...

And though it seems like we must be very romantic to put such effort to finding the right person,

付出努力只為了找到對的人，雖然這件事聽起來很浪漫

in truth, our perpetual search is really a refusal of love.

事實是，我們永無止盡的尋找只是把愛情拒之千里

It is a guarantee that we can never succeed at relationships,

絕對會讓你在感情上失敗

because in the end, the deep secret to love is that there is no right person.

因為到頭來，愛情的真諦是「沒有對的人」

There are perfect beings, we can imagine them very clearly,

完美的人是有，我們可以勾勒出他們鮮明的形象

but - tragically, they exist only in the upper atmosphere,

但不幸地，這種人只存在於外太空

and never down here on Earth…

你在地球上找不到 ...

It's the insistence on people being "right" that's at the root of rage and intolerance,

感情中的怒火與不耐煩，來自於對於完美伴侶的堅持

for we are never more furious than when we believe we had signed up to perfection.

如果沒這種堅持，我們就不會如此怒氣沖天

And given what the human animal is like,

因為沒有十全十美的人

we can be guaranteed always to find something that isn't entirely right.

我們總是會發現伴侶一些不那麼美好的地方

To be really romantic, truly committed to what love requires, we need a vital and rarely mentioned quality:

參透真愛的浪漫與代價，我們需要一項重要但很少提到的特質：

a healthy dose of PESSIMISM.

適量的悲觀

Pessimism about what even the most perfect-seeming person will really be like once one gets to know them

即使面對近乎完美的人，在進一步認識後對他真正的樣子保持悲觀

and with that pessimism comes forgiveness for the inevitably very long range of flaws that we'll discover in them, and they will - of course - discover in us.

在發現彼此缺點而無可避免地發怒時，這樣的悲觀帶來互相體諒

An optimistic search for the perfect person commits us eventually to throwing away everyone we are ever likely to meet…

樂觀的尋覓完美伴侶，最終導致我們放棄所有遇到的對象

Yet in truth, the person who is really best suited to us is NOT the person who shares all our tastes,

事實上，最適合我們的人並不完全與我們志趣相投

but the person who negotiates differences in taste intelligently and wisely.

而是懂得巧妙化解其中差異

Compatibility is an achievement of love; it can't be its precondition.

契合是愛情的果實，而非先決條件

To be able to love properly, we have to attend a funeral first: we have to bury a lot of our hopes deep in the ground

為了學會如何去愛，我們必須先參加一場喪禮：將種種希望深埋在地底

That funeral is the most romantic thing we could ever do.

這場喪禮會是最浪漫的事

It will liberate us to go back out into the world and have proper human relationships that can endure, and flourish.

因為它將解放我們帶我們回到人類情感的真實世界，在當中容忍與茁壯