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  • My wife is having a baby this summer.

    我老婆這個夏天要生小孩了。

  • We don't know if..we are having a boy or a g..but we assume it would be one or the other.

    我們不知道他是男的還是女...不過我們假設應該是其中一個。

  • But you never know.

    不過你永遠不會確定。

  • I have two older kids. My kids are in their forties now. One of them is older than I am.

    我有兩個大一點的小孩。他們已經進入四開頭了。其中一個比我還老。

  • So it's been a long time since I took care of a baby. Forget almost everything,

    所以我已經很長一段時間沒有照顧寶寶了。大概全部都忘了。

  • or at least I forgot almost everything.

    或至少我大部分都忘了。

  • So to brush up and to get some advice on how to raise a child, I went right to the source.

    所以為了要喚起記憶然後索取一些如何帶小孩的建議,我直接去找源頭。

  • I asked a child to help me figure some things out.

    我去問了一個小孩來幫我解惑。

  • A six-year-old girl named Aila and well, we had a very enlightening conversation.

    一個六歲,名叫 Aila的小女孩,嗯,我們有個非常有啓發的對話。

  • Aila, how old are you? Six.

    Aila,你今年幾歲?六歲。

  • So you've been a kid for a while now.

    所以你當小孩已經有一段時間了。

  • How long? I have no idea. OK.

    多久?我不知道。好的。

  • But you were a baby once? Yeah.

    不過你曾經是一個寶寶?對啊。

  • Everyone was a baby once.

    所有人曾經都是個寶寶。

  • That's true. What I'm hoping for is that you can give me some information and teach me how to be a good dad.

    說的也是。我希望說你可以給我一些資訊然後教我怎麼成為一個好爸爸。

  • Cause my wife is having a baby. Ok? Okay..

    我老婆懷孕了。 好嗎?好...

  • And I was just wondering like what you think like what to you is a good dad.

    我好奇你覺得怎樣算是一個好爸爸。

  • What does a good dad do?

    一個好爸爸會怎麼做?

  • Well, I suggest you start changing the diaper.

    嗯,我建議你從換尿布開始。

  • Myself?

    我自己來?

  • Yeah!

    對啊!

  • Yuck... I don't want to do that.

    噁心...我才不想要做那個。

  • Well, you are not gonna really like eat the poop.

    嗯...你又不會真的吃到大便。

  • Yeah I am.

    會,我會。

  • No, you're not! Yes, I am. No, you're not.

    不會,你不會!會,我會。不,你不會。

  • Well, what am I supposed to do with it? Throw it against the wall?

    好,那我應該要拿尿布怎麼辦?把它丟到牆上?

  • You are supposed to wipe the butt!

    你應該要擦屁股!

  • Ewwww.

    噁........

  • I'm not gonna do that. Who's butt

    我才不要勒。誰的屁股?

  • The baby's butt with the wipes.

    寶寶的屁股...用紙巾擦。

  • Oh no..no way, the baby doesn't want that.

    喔..不...不,寶寶也不想那樣。

  • The baby should learn to wipe its own butt.

    寶寶應該要學會自己擦屁股。

  • But they don't know how because they don't have a smart brain.

    不過他們不知道要怎麼做啊,因為他們沒有一個聰明的腦。

  • They don't?

    他們沒有?

  • Do babies come with brains? or do you have to have that put in?

    寶寶生出來有頭腦嗎?還是要把腦裝進去?

  • They do come with brains. It's just like they don't know better and they're just like squirming around like...

    他們生下來就有腦的。不過他們什麼都不懂,他們只會扭來扭去,像...

  • Are they dumb?

    他們是笨蛋嗎?

  • Heheh no! They are not dumb!

    呵呵呵不!他們不是笨蛋!

  • Well they can't even wipe themselves. That's doesn't sound very smart to me.

    可是他們連自己擦屁股都不會。這聽起來不怎麼聰明。

  • So you're gonna have to do it yourself. That's what grown ups do.

    所以需要你自己來做。那就是大人該做的。

  • Oh no. I don't want to do that.

    喔不。我不想做。

  • So first, you'll gonna have to open the diaper. -Ahh.

    所以你需要先打開尿布。啊。

  • And then you're gonna get a wipe then wipe the butt.

    然後你要拿紙巾來擦他的屁股。

  • Hold on. Will you show me how to do that with the baby doll? Will you show me how to do it?

    等等。你可以拿一個娃娃來做示範嗎?你可以示範給我看怎麼做嗎?

  • Ok, but just where's the baby doll?

    好,不過娃娃在哪?

  • Here's the baby doll. Now is this...is this the right way to hold a baby?

    在這裏。所以這是抱寶寶對的方式嗎?

  • Nope. Well how should I do it then?

    不是。所以該怎麼做?

  • So you should do it like...like that. Okay.

    你應該...這麼做。好。

  • If they are like one-year-old you can do it like this. Hold it by the butt and like that.

    如果他們一歲了的話你可以這樣抱。像這樣抱住屁股。

  • That's good..ok..so here we go.

    這...好...所以這樣。

  • No! No, not like...What? I'm holding by the butt.

    不!不是...怎樣?我抱住他的屁股啦。

  • No. No no no no no no no...

    不。不不不不不不不....

  • Flip it over and hold it by the butt like...Ohhh the other way. Ok ok.

    把他轉過來然後這樣抱。喔,另一邊。好好。

  • Now this butt that I'm holding on by, this is where the poops come out so this I don't want to touch.

    現在我抱的這邊就是便便出來的地方所以我不想碰。

  • You're not gonna touch the butt. You're just gonna touch it with the wipe.

    你不會碰到屁股。你只需要用紙巾碰。

  • So like your hands are gonna be clean but you are gonna have to wash them.

    所以你的手會是乾淨的不過你還是需要洗手。

  • Okay. So here we put the baby right here?

    好。所以我們把寶寶放在這嗎?

  • Yeah and then some..good, she's a diaper on. (Jimmy: the baby has the diaper on.)

    對然後...很好,她有穿尿布。(Jimmy:寶寶穿著尿布。)

  • So like...you're gonna pull this side then open it up. Right.

    所以你要先把這邊拉開再打開它。是喔。

  • Eww, she has poop.

    噁,有大便。

  • What? It's chocolate! It is?!

    什麼?那是巧克力!是嗎?

  • Yep, but we're just pretending...hold on, I don't know if that's chocolate.

    好,我們假裝它是...等一下,我不太確定是不是巧克力

  • You're eating the poop.

    你正在吃大便。

  • I'm still not sure if it's chocolate or not.

    我還是不太確定這是不是巧克力。

  • Ok just...you're eating the poop.

    好,不過...你在吃便便。

  • So I should not do that to the real baby.

    所以我不該對真的寶寶這麼做。

  • No! Because it's real poop.

    不!因為那是真的大便。

  • And you wouldn't want to eat poop and get all sick.

    你不會想要吃便便然後生病。

  • You're right. Okay. Now, now what do I do?

    對。你說的沒錯。好,那現在我該怎麼做?

  • So you're gonna get a wipe (Jimmy: right.) and then wipe it like that.

    然後你拿一個紙巾(Jimmy: 好。)然後這樣擦。

  • And then you're gonna lift the baby up. Ok, then you gonna wipe this part. With your hand?

    然後你再把寶寶抱起來。好,然後擦這個地方。用你的手?

  • No! With the wipe.

    不!用紙巾。

  • Well, I don't see you using a wipe. I see you using your hand.

    你都不用紙巾。我看你都用手。

  • Well, there's no wipes here.

    因為現在這裏沒有紙巾。

  • Oh, so what do I do if there's..oh look it out, wipes just came in.

    喔所以如果有的話...喔,看!紙巾來了。

  • Thanks dad!

    謝啦,爸!

  • Yeah, thanks dad.

    耶,謝謝爸爸。

  • So you wipe the butt. Oh! I have a good idea. What if there's extra poop?

    然後你擦屁股。喔!我有個好主意。如果有多餘的大便怎麼辦?

  • You should put it in the baby's hat, right? No no no! What?

    我們應該把它放進寶寶的帽子裡對吧?不不不!怎麼了?

  • You should put it...it's...so...give me that...(Jimmy: Sorry, here you go.)

    你應該把它放在...這...所以...那個給我...(Jimmy:抱歉..這給你。)

  • Put it in here. Okay.

    放在這。 好。

  • And then we're gonna roll it up and throw it in the trash but where's the trash?

    然後我們要把它捲起來然後丟到垃圾桶里,不過垃圾桶在哪?

  • Oh here, I'll take it.

    喔,來我來拿。

  • Umm let's see. Oh! I know we will throw it at the wall.

    嗯我們來看看。喔!我知道了。我們把它丟到牆上。

  • No! The trash! The trash. Remember I told you earlier? The trash!

    不!垃圾桶!垃圾桶。記得我之前跟你說的嗎?垃圾桶!

  • But then the trash guy's gotta come and pick it up, and then he doesn't want this.

    不過收垃圾的人會來收,他們不想收到有便便的尿布。

  • No!

    不!

  • It's such a hard thing to figure out.

    這真是個很難解決的問題。

  • Ma ma mia...

    我的天啊....

  • Here's this how it is gonna go.

    這是接下來會發生的事。

  • I'm gonna tell my wife Aila taught me how to change the baby when it has a poopy diaper.

    我會告訴我的老婆說Aila教我怎麼換寶寶的髒尿布。

  • And what you do is you take a diaper off the baby, you get some wipes, you eat the poop,

    然後你要做的就是先把尿布拿掉,拿一些紙巾,把大便吃掉,

  • you then wipe the baby's butt, and then you throw it at the garbage man as he drives you by.

    然後擦寶寶的屁股,再來把尿布朝來收垃圾的清潔工丟去。

  • Yes? No. Yes. No...

    對吧?哪是。是,不是...

  • I think that's what we do.

    我覺得這就是我們要做的。

  • N-O. No!

    不、是。 不!

  • I'm gonna be a very bad parent.

    我會成為一個非常爛的家長。

  • AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊

  • So will you. -Hehehe.

    你也是。呵呵呵。

My wife is having a baby this summer.

我老婆這個夏天要生小孩了。

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【吉米秀】看小妹妹教吉米叔叔換尿布(Jimmy Gets Parenting Advice From Kids)

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    Angie Hsu 發佈於 2022 年 03 月 11 日
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