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字幕列表 影片播放

  • - Hi, everybody!

    嗨~大家好

  • I don't know why I waved with both hands.

    我不知道我為何要揮兩隻手

  • Imagine waving at people like this.

    想像一下這樣跟人打招呼

  • Hi! (laughs)

    嗨!

  • Um, so I just filmed a video, and I pulled out too quick...

    呃我才剛錄完一部影片,然後太快拔出來了

  • The memory card, which is a lesson you should all learn.

    記憶卡,你們都該學到的教訓

  • Pulling out won't help ya!

    拔出來沒幫助的!

  • I mean, you just have to be...

    我是說,你要...

  • Use a condom.

    用保險套

  • I pulled a memory card out too quick.

    我太快把記憶卡拔出來

  • I tried to put it in my computer, and then it was like,

    我試著把它放回我的電腦,結果是

  • "Uh, no footage."

    「呃,沒影像」

  • So, I was like, "Uh, fuck me."

    我想說「呃,他馬的」

  • So, I'm back to try to film this video again.

    所以我回來重錄一次了

  • So, I'm kind of like, first it had a structure,

    我本來是有架構的

  • but now I'm like, fuck it.

    現在則是,去他的

  • So, today is Friday the 13th.

    呃今天是13號星期五

  • Happy Friday the 13th, unless you're 'stitious.

    黑色星期五快樂,除非你是迷信的

  • If you're 'stitious, then shit,

    如果你很迷信,那,糟糕

  • today probably sucks for you.

    你今天一定過得不好

  • I was like looking up Friday the 13th facts.

    我剛在搜尋黑色星期五的冷知識

  • Some people are scared of everything.

    有些人什麼都怕

  • Like the fucking, what are those things?

    像是,他馬的,那是什麼?

  • A ladder.

    梯子

  • People can't even go under ladders.

    人們甚至不能從梯子下走過

  • I'm like, what's wrong...

    我是覺得,有事嗎?

  • I mean, listen, I know people are kind of like spooked.

    我是說,聽著,我知道有些人被唬到了

  • They get the heebie jeebies from certain things.

    他們對一些事精神過敏

  • I don't think I give a fuck.

    我不覺得我鳥它們

  • I don't care, honestly.

    說真的我不在乎

  • Like, I can walk under a ladder.

    比如說,我可以從梯子下走過

  • I could break a mirror, you know.

    我可以打破鏡子,懂嗎

  • I usually do with my singing or my charming good looks.

    通常是因為我的歌聲或我的帥樣

  • Would that even break...

    竟然打得破...

  • I'm so hot that a mirror is like...

    我性感到(ˊˇˋ)鏡子都...

  • "Whoa!",

    「哇~~~」

  • and it's all like...(imitates shattering)

    然後就...

  • (laughs)

    (笑)

  • Um, what else? Oh, like if you step on a crack,

    呃,還有什麼?喔,當你踩過裂縫

  • and your mom's all like, "Ooh, giiiiiirl..."

    然後你媽說:「喔~不~」

  • My mom, honestly, I'm like out to search for a crack,

    我媽,說實話,我都故意去找裂縫

  • because she needs...

    因為她需要...

  • Listen.

    聽著

  • Actually, I don't want to step on a crack,

    老實說,我不想踩在裂縫上

  • 'cause my mom would just complain, and if she's home

    因為我媽會一直抱怨,如果她下班回家

  • from work, she would be calling me.

    她就會打電話給我

  • So, actually, maybe I do avoid cracks.

    所以,好吧,或許我會避開裂縫

  • Okay, I do that, and I avoid crack.

    好啦,我會,我避開裂縫

  • Because drugs are whack.

    因為吸毒會瘋

  • And this turned into a song!

    然後就變成一首歌了!

  • I don't know why I did this.

    不知道我為什麼要這樣

  • Um, what are we talking about?

    呃,我們在說什麼?

  • Oh, it's Friday the 13th, so if you are superstitious

    喔,今天是黑色星期五,所以如果你很迷信

  • or even a little 'stitious, or kind of 'stitious,

    或一點點迷信,或某方面迷信

  • then good luck today.

    那祝你好運

  • And even more luck tomorrow, because it's Valentine's Day,

    明天更好運,因為是情人節

  • and everyone's supposed to be depressed about it,

    每個人好像都要過傷心情人節

  • because that's what the internet thinks is trendy

    因為網路上都流行這樣

  • to be on Valentine's Day, but you know what?

    過情人節,不過我告訴你

  • Fuck 'em.

    去他們的

  • I'm happy with myself,

    我自己很快樂

  • regardless of if I have a man or not.

    不管我有沒有男人

  • Times are good, okay?

    美好光陰,懂嗎?

  • So, if you are a little bit, like, oh down in the dumps,

    所以如果你有點,心情鬱悶

  • because you know, you don't have somebody in your life,

    因為你覺得你生命中沒有另一伴

  • here's a spoiler alert.

    我這裡破個梗

  • You have somebody in your life.

    你生命中有另一伴

  • Get a mirror, not a cracked one,

    拿個鏡子,不要破的

  • because that's bad luck apparently.

    因為會帶來惡運

  • But get a mirror, and you'll be like, "Oh shit, it's me!"

    但是去拿個鏡子,你就會:「喔天,是我欸」

  • So, if you feel like you don't have somebody in your life,

    所以如果你覺得你生命中沒有另一伴

  • yeah, look in the fucking mirror and know that you got you.

    看看他馬的鏡子,你還有你自己啊

  • When people are like, "Oh, I found my other half

    當人們說:「喔,我在他或她身上

  • "in him or her," I'm like, "Oh!

    找到我的另一半」我就想說:「喔!」

  • "You're 50 percent of a human?"

    「所以你只有50趴是人囉?」

  • Sucks to suck!

    好悲哀喔!

  • If you are ever considering yourself to have another half

    如果你曾經覺得你有「另一半」

  • in another human, then you need to figure

    在別人身上,那你需要先想想

  • your life out first, 'cause as RuPaul says,

    你的人生,因為就像RuPaul說的

  • "If you can't love yourself, how the hell

    「如果你不能愛自己,那你天殺的」

  • "you gonna love somebody else?"

    「要如何愛別人?」

  • So, happy Valentine's Day.

    所以,情人節快樂

  • If you're in love, hope that person complements you

    如果你正在熱戀中,希望對方是你這個

  • as a whole human and not just completes you,

    個體的補充,而不是缺塊

  • because nobody should complete you except yourself.

    因為除了你之外,沒有人有資格完整你

  • Anyway, what are we talking about?

    話說回來,我們在聊什麼?

  • Today we're talking about everything!

    今天我們什麼都聊

  • (laughs) I don't know why I keep doing this.

    不知道我為什麼一直醬

  • Hello!

    哈囉!

  • When we were at the Leaning Tower of Pisa,

    我們去比薩斜塔的時候

  • there was somebody that was like doing a video

    有人在它前面錄影

  • in front of it, and one of the parts where...

    有人在它前面錄影

  • Like the very end of her video montage that she was doing,

    在她剪輯影片的最後一段

  • she was like frolicking through the field

    她在比薩斜塔前面的廣場

  • in front of the Leaning Tower of Pisa

    瘋來瘋去

  • while everyone else is posing.

    其他人都在擺pose

  • And she ended on a pose, and it was like,

    然後她結束在一個pose上

  • frolic, frolic, frolic, frolic, and then like, pose.

    像是,跑來跑去 瘋來瘋去 然後 pose

  • And yeah, that's...

    呃 對啊~

  • So every time I think of that,

    每次我想到那個

  • this, I think of her.

    這個,我就想到她

  • Anyway, what else has been going on in my life?

    反正,我最近發生了什麼事?

  • This week has been a good week.

    這禮拜過的還滿好的

  • You guys have been donating a whole bunch

    你們捐了好多錢

  • of money to charity for my birthday campaign.

    給我的生日募款活動

  • If you haven't done it yet, we are already past

    如果你還沒捐

  • $150,000, so if you want to donate,

    我們已經過了15萬美元,如果你想捐款

  • we are well on our way to half a million.

    我們的正要達到50萬

  • That is our goal, and if you haven't donated yet,

    那是我們的目標,所以如果你還沒捐款

  • here's some encouragement.

    給你們一些鼓勵

  • Two things: number one, most of the donations

    兩件事:第一,大部分的捐款

  • are like 10 bucks, so if you don't think your

    都是十塊錢十塊錢,所以如果你覺得

  • 10 dollars is helping us get to our goal,

    你的十塊錢可以幫我們達成目標

  • know that $150,000 has already been raised

    15萬元已經輕鬆達成

  • through donations that are that much money.

    整個活動募了那麼多錢

  • Like, if you don't think that has impacted our goal,

    如果你覺得對我們的目標有影響

  • know that it has.

    告訴你的確有

  • And then number two, if you want to come to VidCon,

    再來第二,如果你想來VidCon

  • if you think that you've never...

    如果你從沒...

  • If you've never been to LA, and you don't think you'll

    如果你從沒去過洛杉磯,未來也

  • ever have a chance to go to LA,

    不會有機會去洛杉磯

  • hi, here's your chance.

    嘿,你的機會來了

  • If you donate, you're entered into a raffle,

    如果你捐款,就參加了抽獎

  • and whether you're in Singapore or London

    不管你住新加坡或倫敦

  • or Japan or South Africa, you could have a chance

    或日本或南非,你都有機會

  • for a free trip to LA just by donating to charity.

    捐款免費去洛杉磯

  • I think that's a good deal.

    我覺得是個好交易

  • So, if you want to donate, the link to that is below.

    所以如果你想捐款,連結在下面

  • And what else has been going on?

    還有什麼事啊?

  • Ooh, you wanna know something that happened in my life

    務(~)你想知道我最近發生了什麼事

  • that I'm like, "Oh my god, I feel like I'm such an adult."

    我覺得:「喔老天,我感覺好大人喔」

  • The other day, I was playing Scrabble,

    前幾天我在玩Scrabble(拼字遊戲)

  • and it was so dark in my apartment, I could barely

    我公寓裡超黑,黑到

  • even see the letters, and I was like,

    幾乎看不到字,我就想說

  • "Oh my god, my apartment is so dark."

    「天阿,我的公寓好黑喔」

  • And I realized that over the course...

    接著我意識到這麼久了

  • Over de coorse, over the course

    這模久了,這麼久了

  • of the two years that I've been in this apartment,

    我住在這間公寓已經2年了

  • my lights have been slowly going out one by one.

    我的燈一定慢慢的一個一個壞掉

  • And then while we were playing Scrabble, I was like,

    然後當我在玩Scrabble的時候,我想:

  • "Oh my god, none of the lights

    「喔天啊,我公寓中」

  • "in my apartment work anymore."

    「沒有一盞燈可以用」

  • So, I went to Target, Turrget, I went to Turrget,

    所以我去了Target(超市),Turrget,我去了Turrget

  • and I got some new lights.

    買了一些新燈泡

  • And I put them all in, and then I turn on the lights,

    然後我裝上它們,打開燈

  • and I was like "Holy shit!

    然後:「他馬的!」

  • "I have an apartment!"

    「我有間公寓欸!」

  • Um, cool story, Tyler.

    呃,好故事,Tyler

  • Uhh, yeah, so that's like an adult thing I did recently.

    呃,所以這是我最近做的一件大人事

  • I put a light bulb in a thing.

    我換了燈泡

  • I'm very much an adult.

    我真是大人

  • So, I don't mean to brag, but...

    我不是要誇耀,只是...

  • That's all. That's all!

    就醬!就醬!

  • I guess that's all.

    大概就是這樣

  • Oh, one last thing, I am doing my first livestream

    喔,最後一件事,我要為Trevor Project

  • for The Trevor Project, my fundraiser,

    我的募款單位,做第一次現場轉播

  • my birthday fundraiser.

    我的生日募款單位

  • As you guys know, I'm doing livestreams

    你們知道,募款的時候

  • throughout the fundraiser.

    我會做現場轉播

  • So, tomorrow is the first one.

    所以說,明天是第一場

  • If you want to know the times, they're gonna be below.

    想知道時間的話,在下面

  • If you want to watch online, I would love it if you did.

    如果你要線上看,我會很高興

  • It's going to be like a little party.

    會像是一個小趴踢

  • It's a sensible time for whether you're in London

    不管你住倫敦或澳洲或洛杉磯或紐約

  • or Australia or LA or New York.

    都是正常的時間

  • I felt like those are good time zones

    我覺得是個好時段

  • to have approachable.

    很親切近人的

  • So, like all of those time zones,

    所以就像那些時段

  • it's like a reasonable hour for everyone.

    對大家來說都是合理的