I've tried coffee, but never Starbucks.

我喝過咖啡，但沒喝過星巴克。

I don't like coffee.

我不喜歡喝咖啡。

I've been in a Starbucks if that counts.

我去過星巴克，如果這也算的話。

If I put a ton of milk in it, it'll be okay.

如果我放很多牛奶在裡面，就還可以。

Standard Starbucks coffee.

標準的星巴克咖啡。

It smells terrible.

聞起來很糟糕。

I usually like the smell of coffee, this one does seem really bitter to me.

我通常喜歡咖啡的味道，這個在我看來會很苦。

Alright, here I go.

好吧，我要喝了。

It's smooth, I'll give it that.

我承認，這很順滑。

Nothing special about it. Not for me anyway.

沒什麼特別的地方。反正對我來說沒有。

Burnt dirt.

喝起來像燒過的土。

I don't know how people drink this.

我不知道人們怎麼會喝這個。

Tastes a little bit more like machine oil than it does coffee.

味道有點像是機油，而不是咖啡。

So this looks fun.

這看起來很有趣。

Real coffee drinkers think this is basically dessert.

真正喝咖啡的人認為這基本上是個甜點。

Is there coffee in this?

這裡面有咖啡嗎？

That's not bad.

還不錯。

I get it now.

我現在明白了。

It's like a milkshake, with just a little bit of coffee flavor.

就像奶昔一樣，只是多了一點咖啡的味道。

It's just sugar.

這只是糖。

This is probably what God enjoys every single morning.

這也許是上帝每天早上享用的飲料。

Yeah, the only reason that I like this is because it's barely coffee, which I imagine is the reason why it's so popular.

嗯，我喜歡這個的唯一原因是因為它幾乎不是咖啡。 我想這也是它如此受歡迎的原因。

I could see people like, associating a drink like this with the "basic" term.

我看得出人們會把這種飲料跟「潮」一詞聯繫在一起。

People be like, "Mmm, drinking coffee", but you're not drinking coffee.

人們會說：「嗯，我在喝咖啡」，但你喝的不是咖啡。

But those basic bitches are clearly on to something.

但這些潮人顯然知道點什麼。

Can I keep this?

我可以留著這個嗎？

Yeah.

可以。

Excellent.

太好了。

It sounds like, very foreign and exciting like, "Oh, I'll have a caramel macchiato."

聽起來很有異國風味，也很令人興奮，就像「哦，我有一杯焦糖瑪奇朵。」

Wasn't it started in Seattle? Like, let's drop this Italian pretense.

這不是從西雅圖來的嗎？放下意式的偽稱吧。

Nope.

不行。

This I actually... don't mind.

這個我其實……不介意。

This is more of an adult drink.

這更像是給成人的飲料。

Would totally rather have the frappuccino than the macchiato.

比起瑪奇朵，我更願意來杯星冰樂。

This is for indecisive people.

這是為沒辦法做決定的人準備的。

People who are like, "I don't wanna drink straight-up coffee, but I also don't wanna have the guilt that comes along with this one."

就像這種：「我不想喝真的咖啡，但我也不想因為喝星冰樂而產生罪惡感。 」

If it was a matter of life and death, and I had to pick a coffee item from Starbucks, I would pick the caramel macchiato.

如果是在生死攸關的情況下，我不得不選擇星巴克的咖啡品項，我會選擇焦糖瑪奇朵。

Life or death though.

但是只有在生死攸關的情況下。

Oh, I don't think they live up to the hype at all.

喔，我覺得他們一點也沒有像大家說的那麼好。

I'll definitely go back for that frappuccino.

我當然還是會選回星冰樂。

I'm not going to start drinking coffee.

我不打算開始喝咖啡。

If I did go to Starbucks again, I would just order these.

如果我再去星巴克，我會點這個。

I don't think that their product is necessarily superior to anyone else's.

我不認為他們的產品一定勝過其他咖啡店。

I'm gonna turn into Beavis at any moment.

我隨時都會變成癟四（卡通人物）。

Cappuccino!

卡布奇諾！

Macchiato for my bung hole!

我需要些瑪奇朵給我的桶孔！