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Hey it's Stephan, how are you doing? A lot of guys tell me that the biggest problem
when talking to women is that they don't know what to say next or that they just go blank
their mind goes blank and they just don't know what to say next and if that you as was
well then you know this will be helpful. What's the reason why the mind goes blank
or why guys don't know what to say next with the number one reason for that after having
talked with and coached many guys over the years. The number one reason for them not
knowing what to say next and also for their mind going blank is that they haven't listened
to what she said because they've been worrying about what to say next. You see if they have
listened or if they were able to listen well they would get lots of information from what
the girl has just said specially if the girl actually wants us to carry on talking and
having the conversation developed she will give guys cues. Cues are bits of information
that men can pick up on or can ignore as very often guys do because they're not really hearing
what she's saying because they're nervous or they are worried about what to say next.
So it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, if you're worried about what to say next you're likely
to not be picking up the cues that the girl leaves therefore, you won't have anything
to relate to anything that to pick up on and therefore, what you will say next will either
be unrelated or you might just dry up and not know what to say. Because there is enough
working in your own vacuum there instead of listening, hearing what she's saying, and
picking up what you find interesting about what she saying or what she finds interesting
about what she's saying and noticing that and asking her another question about it.
So as an example, if you have a conversation that says Bob says, "Hey have you've been
here before?" and the girl says, "No, it's my first time, actually I moved here recently."
And then if Bob doesn't know what he's doing then he will say, "Yeah I've been here many
times and it's really a good band that's why I come here." So it doesn't connect with what
she's just given him as cues. She gave him cues and she said it's her first time and
she said she only moved here recently. Now that is not real information that she has
given which indicates that she wants him to keep talking to her otherwise, she could just
have just said, "No." Alright so there we go, so if Bob is clever
he had picked up on stuffed that she said because he's listening and then equal their
conversation. I would advise you to do the same listen carefully,
don't think ahead about what you've got to say that you just have to trust that she will
say something that you will be able to connect with, comment on, and ask her another question
about. It's really important not to think ahead and
plan your next sentence that way lies, blank, starry-eyes, faces of men and women absolutely
go mad when they see this happening and it happens a lot.
So I hope that is useful so make sure in the moment that you keep listening and only when
you've listened you will let whatever you've heard and informed what you are going to respond
to. That's how a conversation is actually two-way street.
Alright now, this is a very basic thing that I'm explaining which I'm sure you know but
it's a very important thing. If you want to find out more about everything to do with
conversation skills and everything to do with how to make sure that woman feel connected
and attracted to you when you talk to them go to http://www.PimpYourLingo.com and that
is where I share a lot of cool information and a lot more advanced than this and of course
we'll also go with the basics.