Oh, no, no, we're not even. No.

才沒有，我們才沒有扯平。

[Kids tell their parents a long-kept secret]

[ 孩子們告訴父母一個瞞了很久的秘密 ]

I was a little person at the time and it was just to have fun.

我當時還很小，我只是覺得好玩。

She'll be a little angry with me and I hope this doesn't prevent her from being generous in the future.

她一定會有點生我的氣，我希望她不會因為這樣再也不對我慷慨了。

It surrounds what I really did on my prom night.

這跟舞會那天晚上有關。

I think that she'll probably be like, "Oh!"

我覺得她很可能會說：「喔！」

[The secrets]

[ 秘密 ]

A few years ago for a birthday present, my mom, you got my these really nice pearl earrings.

前幾年我媽……你送了我一副很美的珍珠耳環當生日禮物。

I went to an after party wearing these pearl earings and I drank a little too much.

然後我帶著它們參加活動後的派對，我不小心喝得有點多。

The earrings disappeared that night.

就不小心在那天晚上把耳環弄丟了。

So, all this time you've been lying to me?

所以，你一直以來都在騙我？

I wouldn't call it a lie.

不能說是騙你。

I'd said I've bent the truth.

應該說是我沒有照實講。

Oh, I'm not too thrilled.

好吧，我並沒有太震驚。

Unreal.

無法置信。

When I was really little at home, when you were not at home, I used to dress Russel up, Russel's my brother,

我很小的時候，每次只要你不在家，我都會幫 Russel 梳妝打扮，Russel 是我弟弟。

I used to dress Russel up in princess clothes and paint his nails and do his make up.

我都會給 Russel 穿上公主裝、幫他塗指甲油，還有化妝。

We'd take all the make up off of Russel and everything before you came home so you wouldn't know.

然後在你回家前我們會幫他卸妝，讓他恢復原狀，所以你才不會發現。

- When you say we, your mother is a conspirator in this, - Yes. - in this plot.

- 你說「我們」代表你媽是共犯囉？ - 對。

And Russel liked it. He had fun.

而且 Russel 很愛欸。他玩得很開心。

Great.

棒呆了。

Well, when i was in high school, I snuck out of the house all the time.

我高中的時候常常從家裡溜出去。

All the time.

很常。

- Are you serious? - Yeah.

- 你認真嗎？- 對啊。

Where did you go?

你都跑去哪？

I went to, like, the beach and--

像是海邊還有 ——

- What?

什麼？

How is that possible? Who'd you go with?

怎麼可能？你跟誰去？

My boyfriend and his friends.

我男友還有他朋友們。

I don't even know how I didn't know that.

我簡直無法理解為什麼我會不知道。

I don't know either.

我也不知道。

That is, God, I suck.

這實在是，天啊，我爛透了。

I actually did not go to prom.

我其實沒有去舞會。

The prom that we got the tuxedo for and paid all the money for?

你說那個還要穿燕尾服、花很多錢的那個舞會？

Yeah, I went, I went, I took a trip with my friends--

對，我當時去了……我其實和朋友出去玩了。

- You. - to Mexico.

- 你…… - 去了墨西哥。

- What? - Yeah.

- 什麼？- 沒錯。

- What about-- - Just a lake.

- 那…… - 只是去湖邊。

- What about the girl you were supposed to take? - She came with.

- 那本來要跟你去的舞伴呢？- 她跟我們一起去了。

- No. - Yeah.

- 騙人。 - 真的。

I don't believe you.

我不相信。

- I don't know what to tell you. - That,

- 我不知道該怎麼說。- 那

- That's what happened. - you went to Mexico?

- 這就是真相。 - 那你跑去墨西哥？

Yeah, there was a concert that weekend. We went to go see it.

對啊，那個周末那邊有演唱會，我們跑去聽了。

So, basically, I paid for you to go to Mexico when I thought I was paying... - Yeah.

所以，也就是說我替你付錢送你去墨西哥。 - 對。

Did you wear the tuxedo to the concert?

你了穿燕尾服去演唱會嗎？

I don't understand. - No.

- 我不懂。 - 沒有啦。

And you, that's terrible.

然後你，這實在是太糟了。

I think you should pay me back.

我覺得你要還我錢。

I'm not paying for Mexico.

我沒有要出錢讓你去墨西哥。

- What did you think I was gonna say? - I don't know.

- 不然你本來以為我要跟你講什麼？- 我不知道啊。

Your romantic encounters or--

你的豔遇或是 ——

You know, moms don't wanna hear that.

- 你媽並不想聽這些。

- Oh god. - Okay.

- 天啊。 - 好。

[How do you feel now?]

[ 現在做何感想？ ]

I still love her but I'm not happy.

我還是很愛她，但我還是不開心。

Well, now I know why he looks so good in a pair of black pumps.

好吧，現在我知道他為什麼穿黑色包頭高跟鞋這麼好看了。

It gives me a little ammunition to bring up once in a while if the situation presents itself.

這樣如果偶爾出現這種情況，我就比較能夠理解了。

I probably would've been a lot angrier if I found out about it right after it happened.

如果我在事發當下發現，應該會更生氣。

Especially since he put on this whole masquerade.

尤其他還編出瞞天大謊。

So, thankfully you weren't, like, on the streets doing crack or something.

所以，還好你當初沒有，譬如說在路上吸毒之類的。

- That's true because... - Well, mom. - Well.

- 這也是真的，因為…… - 嗯，媽，這個嘛……

I did sniff smarties once.

其實我有吸過一次糖粉 (smarties)。

Just once though.

只有一次。

What does that do?

那會怎樣？

Nothing. It just fills your nose with sugar.

沒怎樣，只是糖粉塞滿你的鼻孔。