We're gonna start discussing men's brains, women's brains

and how they're very different from each other.

Now, I wanna start with men's brains.

All right. Now men's brains are very unique.

Men's brains are made up of little boxes.

And we have a box for everything.

We've got a box for the car, we got a box for the money,

we got a box for the job, we got a box for you,

we got a box for the kids, we got a box for your mother

somewhere in the basement.

We got boxes everywhere.

And the rule is: the boxes don't touch.

When a man discusses a particular subject

we go to that particular box,

we pull that box out, we open the box

we discuss only what is in that box, all right?

and then we close the box and put it away

being very, very careful not to touch any other boxes.

Sorry, my Catholic upbringing got in there for a minute. But, I'm....

I'm not a Catholic but I went to Catholic school when I was little.

I had a nun who taught on hell like she was born and raised there.

I mean, I'll never forget it, but uh...

It did me good, actually. It was a good thing.

Now women's brains are very, very different from men's brains.

Women's brains are made of a big ball of wire.

And everything is connected to EVERYTHING.

buzzz.... the money is connected to the car

the car is connected to your job

and your kids are connected to your mother

and everything is connected to everything... It's like bzzzzz

It's like the Internet superhighway. OK?

And it's all driven by energy that we call 'emotion'.

It's this bzzzzzzzzz

It's one of the reasons why women tend to remember everything.

Because... if you take an event and you connect it to an emotion

it burns in your memory and you can remember it forever.

The same thing happens for men,

it just doesn't happen very often

because quite frankly, we don't care.

Women tend to care about EVERTHING...

And she just loves it, bzzzzzzzz ha ha ha ha

Now, men we have a box in our brain

that most women are not aware of.

This particular box has NOTHING in it.

It's true.

In fact, we call it the Nothing Box.

And of all the boxes a man has in his brain,

the Nothing Box is our favourite box.

If a man has a chance he'll go to his Nothing Box every time.

That's why a man can do something seemingly

completely braindead for hours on end.

You know, like fishing...

And we love it, that's why a guy can sit in front

of the TV and go...

haaa, it glows haaa...

Of course, this drives our wives nuts

because they'll come up and say 'STOP IT!'

"You can't possibly be watching ANYTHING!"

"I'm not!"

"Go away!"

Now, they've actually measured this.

The University of Pennsilvania a couple of years ago

did a study and discovered that men have the ability

to think about absolutely nothing and still breathe.

You know, they connected all the wires and stuff like that

watched the brain activity, then [all of a sudden] Hee heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

"I think he's dead!"

"Huh? "

Women can't do it, they can't do it,

their minds never stop 'zee zeecke teeee'

and they don't understand the Nothing Box!

And it drives them crazy, because

nothing drives a woman more crazy,

and makes her feel more irritated

than to witness a man doing NOTHING!